Vote for Your Not-Even-First-Half All-Stars!

In Facepalm by Rice Cube207 Comments

I’m not entirely sure which Cubs actually deserve it given their prolonged slumps, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see a couple picked in reserve and none actually starting from the position player corps, but you can start voting for All-Stars at this time. As in previous years, MLB is letting online voters stuff the ballot box with five votes per account per day, so if Seiya Suzuki stans make a million burner accounts each and just bot it up, maybe him?

Looking at the list of guys on the primary ballot, some thoughts…

  • Poor Kris Bryant…
  • Mike Tauchman has been relegated to the DH pile
  • I think the other Contreras Brother is going to start at catcher, OPS is miles above everyone else and he’s been objectively pretty darn good
  • Yeah I don’t see any Cubs starting here

The pitchers are selected by the managers of the All-Star squadrons so there’s a good chance guys like Shota Imanaga and Javier Assad might get picked, and between now and then if the position guys actually heat up like we hope they do, then I think their peers may select them to the squad. Since the ballot box is open now, do as Chicago does and go stuff it, I suppose.

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  2. Perkins

    Shota and maybe Assad are the only Cubs for whom I could make a strong ASG case. Maybe Happ as a player selection or final vote guy.

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  4. Perkins

    Rice Cube,

    Yeah Happ is pretty good but I’m just not sure he’s one of the top three OF in the NL is all. It’d be cool to see him make it as a player/manager selection or replacement, though.

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  5. berselius

    To-day’s base ball squadron

    RF Tauchman
    DH Suzuki
    1B Belli
    3B Morel
    LF Happ
    2B Hoerner
    SS Swanson
    CF PCA
    C Amaya

    P Assad

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  9. Author
    Rice Cube

    If they need a 40-man spot they can always move Madrigal to 60-day and let him soak up some service time while on the mend, wonder who they would use that spot for though

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  18. andcounting

    Rice Cube,

    That one really costly terrible call was costly, but the bullpen is one part of this team I don’t think projects to naturally improve.

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  20. andcounting

    (dying laughing)
    At some point you’ll see video of Nico taking third and rounding the base while the pitcher looked in at the catcher.

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  22. andcounting

    Rice Cube,

    He definitely thought about it, but I’m sure he realized the risk was too great and the defensive indifference had its bounds.

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  24. Author
    Rice Cube

    The problem is that the Red Sox don’t steal bases except for like three dudes in their entire history

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  27. berselius

    To-day’s base ball squadron vs south paw Lodolo

    3B Wisdom
    RF Suzuki
    CF Belli
    DH Morel
    LF Happ
    SS Swanson
    2B Bote
    1B Busch
    C Amaya

    SP Steele

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  32. Author
    Rice Cube

    I tuned in briefly (via GameDay) to say that if Miguel Amaya can’t receive, catch, or throw, then something probably needs to be done because this is bad and dumb

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  34. Author
    Rice Cube

    The Cubs really do make me sad these days

    Maybe I should start watching again just to see if I can will some positive juju over there, although it would be delayed juju since the feed is always behind (dying laughing)

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  37. andcounting

    To-day’s all-shook-up base ball squadron:

    1 Patrick Wisdom 3B
    2 Christopher Morel DH
    3 Cody Bellinger CF
    4 Dansby Swanson SS
    5 lan Happ LF
    6 Mike Tauchman RF
    7 David Bote 2B
    8 Michael Busch 1B
    9 Yan Gomes C

    Ben Brown P

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  41. andcounting

    Rice Cube,

    Oh, I think he got hit with a throw to the ribs when he was going into third (IIRC). I’d expect that to be a short-lived ailment as well.

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  42. Author
    Rice Cube

    Nico apparently has a fracture in his hand, it’s allegedly small and they are evaluating whether he should go on the IL.

    I am not that kind of a doctor, but maybe yes let him rest it?

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  52. andcounting

    Rice Cube,

    It’s pretty odd that Vazquez was up for two weeks or whatever when they didn’t use him at all in between two stretches when it would have been really nice to have him (and immediately after a third one).

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  75. Author
    Rice Cube

    I can see how that would make it difficult to pitch

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  85. Author
    Rice Cube

    Usually this is the type of play and team construction that eventually leads to people getting fired, but short term solutions are sparse methinks

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  86. andcounting

    Everyone thought I was kidding with my “Kyle Hendricks: Cubs Closer” idea, but it doesn’t seem so crazy now, DOES IT?

    I mean, yes, it does, but by comparison?

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  87. Perkins

    andcounting:
    Everyone thought I was kidding with my “Kyle Hendricks: Cubs Closer” idea, but it doesn’t seem so crazy now, DOES IT?

    I mean, yes, it does, but by comparison?

    Bring up Cuas to close. I’m about ready to go full Joker on this season. It would be more entertaining at least.

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  114. berselius

    Rice Cube,

    I can hear the words “Throw Fucking Strikes” like a whisper over his shoulder. Even if after looking again it might not actually be Sweet Lou (dying laughing).

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  115. Author
    Rice Cube

    Yeah I think I’ll wait till we podcast vent as I’m not sure i can properly articulate how sad this Cubs team is making me (dying laughing)

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  116. Author
    Rice Cube

    berselius,

    I remember he made a pitching change once and the reliever immediately walked the first batter he faced and the camera cut to Lou and he was just laughing because he was so exasperated (dying laughing)

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  118. berselius

    To-day’s base ball squadron vs RHP Kyle Gibson

    CF Tauchman
    3B Morel
    DH Belli
    RF Suzuki
    LF Happ
    2B Hoerner
    1B Busch
    SS Swanson
    C Amaya

    SP Wicks

    🤷‍♂️

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  124. andcounting

    Good sign to see Kyle explode Goldschmidt’s bat. I know Kyle and Smyly aren’t necessarily ideal starters at this point, but the depth of legit starting rotation options has been outstanding this season.

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  134. andcounting

    I don’t care where K-Zone says the pitch was, if I’m umpiring and the catcher’s glove is a blur, I’m calling it a ball. Every pitch off the outside edge that’s called a strike is winding up over the inside corner when the catcher stops moving. I’m calling that shit a ball every time and I’m letting the catcher know it in advance.

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  149. andcounting

    Rice Cube,

    It’s an entire book/epic poem. It’s like this:

    God: Have you seen my favorite team, the Cubs?

    Satan: Would they still be your favorite team if I tortured them and made all their fans giant assholes?

    God: I think so. Give it your best shot.

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  150. Author
    Rice Cube

    andcounting,

    That might be a different one because my understanding is that Satan was a fallen angel because he dared to challenge God or whatever. This one re: Job was just God throwing plagues and shit all over Job, right?

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  151. andcounting

    Rice Cube,

    No, that’s the same one. It starts with Satan strolling into God’s presence saying he’s been checking things out on earth. Then God asks if he’s noticed how awesome Job is. Then Satan says, “Sure, but you’re protecting him. Let me put his faithfulness to the test.” God says that’s fine as long as he doesn’t physically hurt Job. (He lifts that restriction later in the book.)

    So technically it’s Satan doing the torturing with God’s permission.

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  152. Perkins

    Rice Cube,

    Yeah my Catholicism is rusty by a couple decades but I’m pretty sure the Job story is that Satan bet God that Job was only faithful because he had a good life, so God took everything away and killed Job’s whole family to prove a point and because he’s a dick.

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  153. andcounting

    Rice Cube,

    The popular interpretation regarding timing is that Job would have lived super early and that it was the first Bible book written (at least among those who take the Bible literally and insist on its inerrancy).

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  155. Perkins

    While I maintain (I believe, rational) hope this team can go on an extended heater, they’ve been extremely disappointing since the end of April. Just zero fun to watch unless Shota is pitching.

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  177. Perkins

    Brewers won, but it’s probably not worth paying attention to standings until the Cubs are at least a few games above .500 again.

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  181. berselius

    To day’s base ball squadron vs RHP Miles Redass

    RF Tauchman
    3B Morel
    CF Belli
    DH Suzuki
    LF Happ
    2B Hoerner
    1B Busch
    SS Swanson
    C Amaya

    SP Taillon

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  183. andcounting

    I’m assuming the Roku channel broadcast isn’t subject to blackout restrictions, so that would be good. And at least Pat is back on the radio. Deciding between Zach Zaidman and Chip Caray would’ve been Sophie’s Choice shit.

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  186. andcounting

    Rice Cube,

    It was a based-loaded, potentially run-scoring play on a call it looked to me like the review squad half-assed and probably could have overturned or confirmed with synchronized replay angles. That’s not desperate, it’s a mandatory challenge.

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  197. berselius

    Coom can get a little too “Back In My Day” at times but his recurring commentary about the lack of “RBI guys” in the modern game is starting to infect me (dying laughing)

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  198. Perkins

    This team is really not fun to watch and better than they’ve played. I’m waiting for CC to blow his top or something performative like Lou Piniella in 2007. They need a fire lit under their collective ass.

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