Cubs Hire Sveum to Take Blame For Stuff

In News And Rumors by aisle42476 Comments

Dale Sveum is the new Cubs manager and people are already bitching about him.  

Booooo! He’s not Ryne Sandberg!

Booooo! He’s not Mike Maddux!

Booooo! He’s not Terry Francona!

Booooo! He’s not DeMarlo Hale! (OK, that is just from Hale’s mom.)

I don’t know much about Sveum.  I’m vaguely familiar on how to pronounce his name since I Wikidedia’d him and it says it’s pronounced “swaym.”  I also know he was the interim manager for the Brewers when this happened:

So I already know that a Dale Sveum-managed team is responsible for providing me one of the best moments I’ve ever had at Wrigley.  Seriously.  

Hopefully he’ll be there for a few more and then he can maybe enjoy the moment too.

For now, the expectations are a little high.  The giddy buzz from the Theo hire and the subsequent formation of the Superfriends has people sort of expecting that things will be all better now.  Sure, if you asked them what they expect from the team, most people will probably tell you that they dn’t expect much.  But that is when they use their brain to do the thinking.

Now we can look forward to being properly worked into a hopeful frenzy at the Cubs Convention. The non-stop blitz of Hope and Change coming from the Cubs marketing department that will make Obama’s Presidential Campaign seem like it was run by Debbie Downer will soon be running full steam ahead.

After all of that, people are going to start expecting wins on the field sooner rather than later.  There really isn’t much room for error.  If the Cubs finish .500, it wil be Sveum’s fault they didn’t get a few extra wins to push them into the playoffs. If they finish under .500, it will be Sveum’s fault that they didn’t at least improve on last year.  He really is in a no-win situation since it would take a miracle for this Cubs team to win anything significant enough to make people happy.

No managerial candidate was going to change the outcome of this season significantly, but Sveum doesn’t have a net to fall back on.  Sandberg had his years as a Hall of Fame second baseman in a Cubs uniform.  Mike Maddux had his brother, Greg’s years as a Hall of Fame pitcher in a Cubs uniform. Terry Francona has two World Series rings.

Sveum was passed over by the Brewers twice after he stopped their freefall in 2008 and got them into the playoffs where they actually won a game.  So he has a crappy roster and expectations that will all be out of whack.  God help him if Zambrano is actually on the roster because the press is already sharpening their Milton Bradley Poking Sticks just in case.

I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong. Good luck, buddy!


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  2. mb21

    I think one big difference between this year when things don’t work out as fans hope and the past is that Thoyer won’t play the game the media wants. They’ll defend Sveum. They may even go on a radio show like Theo did and stand up for a player or a manager. They may just come out and say Cubs fans are idiots. (dying laughing)

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  4. Aisle424

    [quote name=mb21]Where does Sveumy’s picture go on the Superfriends logo?[/quote]
    I figured I’d put it where Crane is, since he’s not technically supposed to be in the Hall of Justice anymore.

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  6. Aisle424

    [quote name=josh]Did you actually make that video, or are you the guy running around?[/quote]
    (dying laughing)
    I just happened upon it when I Googled “Soto tying homerun Brewers.”

    I was in the upper deck almost directly above where this was shot mocking the Brewers fans that had, only moments before, been waving a big “L” flag around. That was just fucking awesome. I still can’t believe they tied it after being down 6-2 with nobody on and two outs.

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  7. Berselius

    [quote name=Aisle424](dying laughing)
    I just happened upon it when I Googled “Soto tying homerun Brewers.”

    I was in the upper deck almost directly above where this was shot mocking the Brewers fans that had, only moments before, been waving a big “L” flag around. That was just fucking awesome. I still can’t believe they tied it after being down 6-2 with nobody on and two outs.[/quote]

    *pours one out for the 2008 team*

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  10. binky

    [quote name=Aisle424](dying laughing)
    I just happened upon it when I Googled “Soto tying homerun Brewers.”

    I was in the upper deck almost directly above where this was shot mocking the Brewers fans that had, only moments before, been waving a big “L” flag around. That was just fucking awesome. I still can’t believe they tied it after being down 6-2 with nobody on and two outs.[/quote]That was awesome. They also had that come back from 8 runs down against the Rockies earlier.

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  12. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7231/will-sveum-bring-fielder-with-him[/quote]
    Yes, please (for 5 years or less)

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  14. Berselius

    [quote name=Mish]So I’m a bit out of the loop, what’s the correct way to say his name? SVEEE-um?[/quote]
    It rhymes with “name”

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  18. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Rodrigo Ramirez]I think this is a really stupid article, and opinion. WTF does Chuck Garfien really know about Mark Buehrle.

    http://www.csnchicago.com/blog/sox-drawer/post/Garfien-Buehrle-to-the-Cubs-No-chance?blockID=595850&feedID=661%5B/quote%5DI would probably pull it back from that “never” and swap in a “highly unlikely”…the whole anti-Cub thing can be overcome by several armored trucks full of money. The question is whether the Cubs want to throw those armored trucks at Buehrle.

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  20. Berselius

    [quote name=Rice Cube]The question is whether the Cubs want to throw those armored trucks at Buehrle.[/quote]
    The Superfriends better call on the Hulk for that one.

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  21. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Berselius]The Superfriends better call on the Hulk for that one.[/quote]Are you saying Superman is a pansy?

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  25. binky

    [quote name=Rice Cube]Might not be a problem if Prince sits on him.[/quote]He hired Boras for one reason: to get the dough. Scott will let Prince go to the highest bidder, almost guaranteed. At least, that’s the perception he always gives. The reality is probably more complex.

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  26. Rice Cube

    [quote name=josh]He hired Boras for one reason: to get the dough. Scott will let Prince go to the highest bidder, almost guaranteed. At least, that’s the perception he always gives. The reality is probably more complex.[/quote]He did get Pena a pillow contract. I wonder what size pillow Prince uses.

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  27. binky

    [quote name=Rice Cube]He did get Pena a pillow contract. I wonder what size pillow Prince uses.[/quote]A mountain of them. To stack up behind first base so the balls he doesn’t catch won’t go very far. Prince has been kind of an every-other-year player.

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  29. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Berselius]I wonder who they’ll bring in as the pitching coach.[/quote]Do you know who would be available? Let’s just assume that Mike Maddux and Greg Maddux are out though.

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  30. binky

    [quote name=Berselius]I wonder who they’ll bring in as the pitching coach.[/quote]Mike Maddux. He withdrew his name as manager so he could take a lesser job. Just crazy enough to work.

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  32. WenningtonsGorillaCock

    [quote name=josh]Mike Maddux. He withdrew his name as manager so he could take a lesser job. Just crazy enough to work.[/quote]And Ryno will be hitting coach. Ron Santo’s reanimated corpse will be Chief of the Towel Drills.

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  34. Rice Cube

    [quote name=ACT]They’ll go after whomever the Red Sox want.[/quote]I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m not even sure who’s in the pool of candidates. Larry Rothschild is going to stay a Yankee and Dave Duncan is staying with the Cardinals through 2012.

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  35. binky

    [quote name=Rice Cube]I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m not even sure who’s in the pool of candidates. Larry Rothschild is going to stay a Yankee and Dave Duncan is staying with the Cardinals through 2012.[/quote]Kerry Wood?

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  40. ACT

    [quote name=Rice Cube]http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/11/17/red-sox-owners-have-met-with-bobby-valentine/

    I wonder which young Red Sox player Bobby V will ground for spacing out for a play.[/quote]The Red Sox don’t have any young players.

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  42. mb21

    [quote name=fang2415]Well, if they say that Theo was the leaker, then his situation in Boston was no longer tenable and they should expect no compensation from the Cubs.[/quote]Yep. If I’m Theo I admit to it and tell the Red Sox I ain’t worth shit.

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  43. fang2415

    [quote name=mb21]Yep. If I’m Theo I admit to it and tell the Red Sox I ain’t worth shit.[/quote]He should also say that it was him who supplied both the beer to the players and the painkillers to Francona, and that he pissed on the curtains at Fenway regularly. Then the Cubs can send a nice note to the Red Sox with “Ha ha ha” written on it as compensation.

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  44. Rice Cube

    [quote name=fang2415]He should also say that it was him who supplied both the beer to the players and the painkillers to Francona, and that he pissed on the curtains at Fenway regularly. Then the Cubs can send a nice note to the Red Sox with “Ha ha ha” written on it as compensation.[/quote]

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  45. Rodrigo Ramirez

    Bostonians from the sports teams to journos are just classless. This latest garbage just proves it even more.

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  48. fang2415

    [quote name=Rice Cube]It doesn’t seem very Theo-like to leak his own team’s dirty laundry, but I don’t know the guy all that well.[/quote]There’s probably some shred of truth, like he mentioned that he brought the guys some fried chicken after a game or something. So since he was a “source”, and is now gone, they can just blame everything on him.

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  50. Berselius

    [quote name=Rice Cube]It doesn’t seem very Theo-like to leak his own team’s dirty laundry, but I don’t know the guy all that well.[/quote]Eh, I can believe it. I don’t know why it’s particularly un-Theo like. He’s not infallible like say Joe Paterno, who never ever does anything wrong, right? Theo’s a smart guy but he’s also human. Let’s not get caught in the trap of assuming that he shoots rainbows out of his ass.

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  51. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Berselius]Eh, I can believe it. I don’t know why it’s particularly un-Theo like. He’s not infallible like say Joe Paterno, who never ever does anything wrong, right? Theo’s a smart guy but he’s also human. Let’s not get caught in the trap of assuming that he shoots rainbows out of his ass.[/quote]I’d be amused if it was just one vast conspiracy to get him the fuck out of Boston (dying laughing)

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  52. fang2415

    [quote name=fang2415]http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2011/11/latest-on-bostons-managerial-search-2.html

    Watching the Red Sox panic is make me feel better about the (apparent) Sveum pick. Looks like we got ourselves the best manager on the market.[/quote]Also:

    The Red Sox are no longer considering Phillies bench coach Pete Mackanin.

    (dying laughing)

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  53. fang2415

    Sveum presser —-> 9 am tomorrow
    Tuesday presser tradition —-> broken
    Manager with crazily-pronounced last name tradition —-> upheld

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  57. fang2415

    [quote name=Berselius]http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers

    (dying laughing)[/quote]This Is About Motherfucking Gourds

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  58. fang2415

    [quote name=Suburbankid 22]Half of my everys are unintentional. It’s a common gaffe and not just in the ban messages of Little Hitlers.[/quote]Is that where it comes from? I’ve never bothered to get kicked off of BCB. (dying laughing)

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  60. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Suburbankid 22][/quote]It’s too bad you can’t actually click that “next” button to access the rest of the “correct” glory.

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  61. Mercurial Outfielder

    Apparently Cherington wanted to hire Sveum, and Lucchino said no. Larry Lucchino is a fucking asshole, people. In 3 years, he’ll be hard pressed to find a GM that wants to work for him.

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  62. Aisle424

    It sounds like this could have been the full extent of the Cubs pitch to Theo:

    Ricketts: Larry Lucchino doesn’t work here.
    Theo: I’ll take it.

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  64. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Aisle424]It sounds like this could have been the full extent of the Cubs pitch to Theo:

    Ricketts: Larry Lucchino doesn’t work here.
    Theo: I’ll take it.[/quote]Pretty much.

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  65. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Pretty much.[/quote]I wonder if they used the same pitch for Sveum, but either way the Cubs benefitted yet again by the Red Sox being douchebags.

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  66. mb21

    Who knew 3 months ago that we’d be sitting here right now thinking the Cubs have a better and more functional future than the Red Sox?

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  68. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]Who knew 3 months ago that we’d be sitting here right now thinking the Cubs have a better and more functional future than the Red Sox?[/quote]
    FWIW, the Red Sox still managed to win two titles with those clowns running the show.

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  72. binky

    I like the Ryne Sandberg game infographic on that page, too. Two IBBs sets up Dave Owen. For the win.

    Is Keith the Cubs announcer now simply because he took part in that game?

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  73. binky

    [quote name=Berselius]Eh, I can believe it. I don’t know why it’s particularly un-Theo like. He’s not infallible like say Joe Paterno, who never ever does anything wrong, right? Theo’s a smart guy but he’s also human. Let’s not get caught in the trap of assuming that he shoots rainbows out of his ass.[/quote]Maybe the lunch with Tito was less about the Cubs job and more about apologizing: “I was drunk! She was really hot! Reporters aren’t supposed to be that hot!”

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  74. mb21

    [quote name=Berselius]Eh, I can believe it. I don’t know why it’s particularly un-Theo like. He’s not infallible like say Joe Paterno, who never ever does anything wrong, right? Theo’s a smart guy but he’s also human. Let’s not get caught in the trap of assuming that he shoots rainbows out of his ass.[/quote]I agree with what you’re saying, but what was leaked also looked bad for Theo. As Cubs fans we ignored it, but imagine this shit goes on under Jim Hendry’s watch. Imagine the same thing goes on under Theo’s watch. Theo is human, but leaking these stories makes no sense for the GM to do. It would make even less sense considering his friendship with Tito. I believe Theo makes mistakes. All GMs do. I believe he’ll make many of the same mistakes that we’ve complained about in the past. I believe he’ll do some incredibly stupid things if he’s around long enough, but I don’t believe he was the leak.

    I should add that I don’t believe it any time someone says so and so is the leak. Who are the candidates? It’s not middle management Bob because we don’t know what his name. When people look to figure out the leak is they’re working with not only an incomplete picture, but barely a few pieces out of a puzzle. Take Randy Bush for example who MO has said is a leak. I refuse to believe it. We come up with names like that because we don’t know many. If we learned there was a leak in the front office right now, we’re going to assume it’s one of Theo, Hoyer, McLeod, Bohringer or Bush. There are dozens of others working in that front office, but those are the names we know.

    To compare it to something it shouldn’t be compared to, those who read many books about Jack the Ripper or Black Dahlia are always suspecting wealthier and more intelligent people of committing the crimes. We tend to have more information on those types of people than the average Joe so they’re the ones those people look at. They ignore the thousands of people they have no information on.

    So I don’t believe for a moment that Theo was the leak. it’s not because I think he shits rainbows. It’s because the Boston media has proven to be classless asswipes and that he’s an easier target to blame than some middle management type nobody knows about.

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  75. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]I agree with what you’re saying, but what was leaked also looked bad for Theo. As Cubs fans we ignored it, but imagine this shit goes on under Jim Hendry’s watch. Imagine the same thing goes on under Theo’s watch. Theo is human, but leaking these stories makes no sense for the GM to do. It would make even less sense considering his friendship with Tito. I believe Theo makes mistakes. All GMs do. I believe he’ll make many of the same mistakes that we’ve complained about in the past. I believe he’ll do some incredibly stupid things if he’s around long enough, but I don’t believe he was the leak.

    I should add that I don’t believe it any time someone says so and so is the leak. Who are the candidates? It’s not middle management Bob because we don’t know what his name. When people look to figure out the leak is they’re working with not only an incomplete picture, but barely a few pieces out of a puzzle. Take Randy Bush for example who MO has said is a leak. I refuse to believe it. We come up with names like that because we don’t know many. If we learned there was a leak in the front office right now, we’re going to assume it’s one of Theo, Hoyer, McLeod, Bohringer or Bush. There are dozens of others working in that front office, but those are the names we know.

    To compare it to something it shouldn’t be compared to, those who read many books about Jack the Ripper or Black Dahlia are always suspecting wealthier and more intelligent people of committing the crimes. We tend to have more information on those types of people than the average Joe so they’re the ones those people look at. They ignore the thousands of people they have no information on.

    So I don’t believe for a moment that Theo was the leak. it’s not because I think he shits rainbows. It’s because the Boston media has proven to be classless asswipes and that he’s an easier target to blame than some middle management type nobody knows about.[/quote]
    I agree with you. I do not believe Theo was the leak for all of those reasons you listed, but I’m not completely ruling it out. I’m speaking more to simply jumping to the idea Theo et al are paragons of decision making, and ergo never make bad decisions. This is the main thing that pissed me off about the Crawford deal.

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