Cubs 2011 in Review: February

In News And Rumors by aisle42448 Comments

2011 didn’t start on the highest of notes, but February brought the official start of Spring Training and the birth of the “Who owns the Cubs?” meme that has provided us with several good laughs ever since. So let’s get right to the nonsense:

February 2011: Pretty Much the Same as January, But a Month Later

February 1 – The Snowpocalypse strikes Wrigley Field and blows off a part of the roof above the press box. Sadly, no members of the mainstream media were present when it happened.

February 6 – Someone defaced the Harry Caray statue by writing “Sox” and then something fairly unintelligible.  We don’t know whether it was a Sox fan, or a Cubs fan hoping to frame a Sox fan, but we are pretty sure the person is illiterate.  Todd Ricketts has been cleared since the perpetrator used spray paint and not crayons.

Harry-Caray-Defaced

February 7 – The Cubs realize nobody wants to buy 12 crappy tickets for every good game, so they roll out the 6-pack plan where fans only need to buy 5 crappy games for every good one and the march to handing out stupid t-shirts and $1 hotdogs goes on.

February 8 – The Cubs announce that 32 out of their 34 Spring Training games will be available on the radio, television, or streaming audio on mlb.com, thus assuring that we would all be sick of them losing before the season even gets started.

February 9 – Al Yellon publishes his first interview with the Cubs Executive Chairman, Tom Ricketts, where they discussed numerous thought provoking topics such as who owns the Cubs, who really owns the Cubs, and the identity of the Cubs owner.

February 13 – The official reporting date for pitchers and catchers arrives, but just about everybody is in camp already and running up hills with Ryan Dempster.  It is later pointed out that only Houston has an actual hill on the playing field, so most of that training has been kind of a waste.

February 14 – The Cubs lock up Carlos Marmol for three more years of not knowing where the ball will go when he throws it while trying to protect a lead. But as long as hitters keep swinging at that slider out of the strike zone, everything will be fine, right?

February 14 – Ronnie Woo undergoes heart surgery while wearing his customary Cubs uniform. I can only surmise the surgery was done in a garage somewhere by a veterinary school dropout, since that is the only scenario I can imagine where his grimy, sweat-stained, pee-soaked uniform would be allowed anywhere near an open surgical field.

February 15 – The Cubs trade their 2007 3rd round pick, Tony Thomas, to the Boston Red Sox for Robert Coello, who never plays a single inning of baseball at any level for the Cubs in 2011. This really isn’t all that important, but I find myself hoping this is not kind of success the Cubs achieve in all of their acquisitions from the Red Sox this year.

February 15 – Carlos Silva remains positive he will be in the Cubs starting rotation after Dempster, Zambrano, and Garza when the Cubs break camp.  He also insists he can still fit into his high school prom tuxedo if he just sucks in his gut a little.

February 16 – Albert Pujols breaks off contract extension talks with the Cardinals and nobody really notices or talks about it much.

February 16 – Keith Moreland is named to replace Ron Santo as the color commentator in the WGN radio booth.  He got the job based on his ability to break down batting mechanics, game situations, and pitch sequences, also his hilarious pronunciation of “Carlos Peenya.”

February 18 – Paul Sullivan makes a point of mentioning that Starlin Castro and Aramis Ramirez have not yet arrived to Training Camp despite not being required to report until February 19.  That’s awfully smug for someone who had not even done his taxes yet for the April 15th deadline.

February 19 – Aramis Ramirez and Starlin Castro report to training camp on time. Sullivan had lazily still not done his taxes.

February 19 – Tom Ricketts says he will keep an open mind about signing big free agents with the financial flexibility in the next offseason so it is obvious that Albert Pujols will be a Cub soon.

February 21 – The Cubs name Ryan Dempster the Opening Day starter to coincide with the Cubs Fake Rubber Vomit promotion that day.

mr-hankey

February 22 – A post on Si.com recounts a story from Dusty Baker about someone dropping a deuce in the spot where Dusty used to stand in the Cubs’ dugout and I’m not saying they called for a curveball.

February 23 – St. Louis Cardinals’ pitcher Adam Wainwright goes down with a significant elbow injury. It will eventually require him to miss the entire season after surgery and assures that there is no way in hell that a team with Ryan Theriot AND no Wainwright could ever win the World Series.

February 23 – Two Cubs prospects make the Baseball America Top 100 list.  Brett Jackson at #38 and Trey McNutt at #48.  This is probably the last good news to come out of the Cubs minor league system all year.

February 27 – The Cubs open up a 4-0 lead in the first inning of their first Spring Training game and go on to lose 15-7, thus breaking the 2010 record of Earliest High Point of an Entire Season set when Marlon Byrd hit a 3-run HR in the 1st inning of the actual Opening Day game.

February 28 – The Cubs begin a search for a new Public Address Announcer prompting a five-post series from Al Yellon where he tries to determine if this is the position that would make public announcements and/or address large crowds about the Cubs.

Coming up next: March, as in Death March.

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Previous Monthly Reviews: January


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Comments

  1. Suburban kid

    The Christmas Poo is funny.

    Also, reliving such a forgettable year is kind of cool too. There’s so many things that happened which I forgot about. It might be a good idea to re-run this series in a few months, after we forget again.

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  5. Suburban kid

    Are Coello, Sonnenstein, Corpas or Beliveau lefty, or is James Russell the only potential LHRP for the bullpen?

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  6. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]What’s funny about that is Simpson improved his ranking. He wasn’t in the top 10 and then after his unbelievably awful season he is. That’s hilarious.[/quote]
    Homer Simpson was number 4 on the first list.

    I made the same mistake you did with McNutt. For some reason I thought he wasn’t on the first list but showed up on the second one after missing the entire season (dying laughing)

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  7. Berselius

    Thx catt, well b4 the vast maj’ty of folks had ever heard of the lad. To which, they spouted off that we didnt need him…and he, Vitters, Br Jackson and Cashner needed to be traded for Jake Peeeeeeeeeeeevey. What a bunch of dunce listers…it made me fume then but I laugh about it now…it was so stupid…

    (dying laughing)

    er

    (d’ing lgh’g)

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  10. Aisle424

    BCB: What about the Triangle Building? In the end, who’s going to raise the funds for that? Is that going to go on the business side?

    TR: That’s a business thing.

    Ricketts has to think Al has suffered some sort of brain damage.

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  12. GBTS

    Note: this interview was conducted before the Cubs’ recent purchase of the McDonald’s property across Clark Street from Wrigley Field, so that topic wasn’t available to be addressed at the time I spoke with him.

    Now we have no idea if that was a business decision.

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  13. Berselius

    [quote name=JMan]Passan reviewed the FA class after the coming season. Sure it’s been said before but I am now convinced Thoyer is looking to find young and cheap good talent this year and make the FA splash next year due to its depth and relative youth of FA.

    http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=jp-passan_10_degrees_2012_free_agents_hamilton_ichiro_122612%5B/quote%5D
    FWIW, a lot can happen between now and then wrt extensions.

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  15. Berselius

    [quote name=GBTS]I had just assumed the Carlos Silva savings and Aramis’s option would pay for that. Thanks for clearing that up, Al.[/quote].

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  18. Aisle424

    [quote name=GBTS]Now we have no idea if that was a business decision.[/quote]
    We’ll have to wait until next year to find out.

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  19. JMan

    [quote name=Berselius]FWIW, a lot can happen between now and then wrt extensions.[/quote]True and I expect many to do so but unless the giants unload some salary or increase payroll Cain will go elsewhere. No idea how the phillies keep hamels as their payroll is in luxury tax zone. Greinke likely leaves if the brewers don’t contend this year.

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  20. mb21

    I’m confused. Sonnanstine and Corpas signed split contracts according to numerous sources. A split contract is simply a minor league contract that pays one rate if in the minors and another rate if in the majors. Cubs.com has them on the 40-man roster. Did the new CBA change things or something? I initially thought they signed Corpas to an MLB deal, but it’s not clear it was a split contract.

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  22. mb21

    Maybe Corpas and Sonnanstine can still be optioned to the minor leagues and were immediately added to the 40-man. I’m not sure why they would do that.

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  23. mb21

    It appears both were signed to MLB contracts (both players probably demanded it) and the Cubs negotiated the split contract meaning if or when they ship them to AAA they’ll pay them a significantly reduced rate.

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  25. Berselius

    [quote name=Suburban kid]Al’s “wide ranging interview with Tom Ricketts” was basically two screen fulls of “no comment”.[/quote]
    Clearly this means the Cubs will sign Prince Fielder

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  27. Suburban kid

    [quote name=Suburban kid]Are Coello, Sonnenstein, Corpas or Beliveau lefty, or is James Russell the only potential LHRP for the bullpen?[/quote]Since no one indulged my laziness:

    Coello RHP
    Sonnanstine RHP
    Beliveau LHP
    Corpas RHP

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  31. Suburban kid

    [quote name=AB]BTW Coello was a minor league FA and signed to play somewhere else, I’m assuming Baltimore[/quote]Huh. Blue Jays actually.

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  34. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Suburban kid]MB, I’m glad your present got to you in time for Christmas. BTW, it came pre-loaded with the MLB At Bat app.

    [/quote]That seems to be a present the guy in the picture recently enjoyed.

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  35. AB

    [quote name=Suburban kid]Huh. Blue Jays actually.[/quote]
    Scott Moore and Brad Snyder signed with Houston. the only other “significant” minor leauge FAs that anyone cares about (maybe??) about are Blake Parker and Jeff Stevens.

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  36. Rice Cube

    http://mobile.newsday.com/inf/infomo;JSESSIONID=6F13183642061CB81D73.3201?site=newsday&view=sports_blogs_item&feed:a=newsday_5min&feed:c=sports_blogs&feed:i=1.3412397&nopaging=1

    Think of it this way: At the risk of sounding pompous – ah, forget it, I know I sound pompous – my role as a Hall of Fame voter is to act as a judge and abide by the laws on the book. I can’t be making up my own laws. And the baseball laws, prior to 2004, stated that you could pretty much do what you wanted on the illegal PED front.

    Oooh.

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  37. Suburban kid

    If Mattingly can hang around as a manager and accomplish some things, then his candidacy for the Veterans Committee – which considers the totality of a candidate’s career, rather than him just as a player – would receive a significant boost.

    I’ve never heard that before.

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  39. mb21

    [quote name=James Winters]John Gaub feels left out of this high K, high BB lefty debate[/quote]That’s true. I just figured Gaub is a little too old at this point, but he should probably be in the discussion.

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  40. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Suburban kid]I’ve never heard that before.[/quote]I kind of just assumed the veterans committee was a bunch of old-timers who had reached the HOF sitting around a table having some beers, shooting the shit, and deciding whether another set of guys deserved to come drink beer with them around a table with their own set of criteria, whatever that is.

    /RC Yellon sentence of the day

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  41. Rice Cube

    johnny K (Downers grove)

    Bruce, are the chances better that the cubs sign Fielder, or are they better that they resign Pena?

    Bruce Levine (1:10 PM)

    Haven’t heard much Pena talk lately. I’m one of the few people who believes they have a shot at Fielder. Some of that is based on the fact that I know they have had continuous talks with the agent and some of those talks have been more intense, according to one major league source. My guess is the Dodgers will eventually sign him.

    After sifting through the syntax I believe Levine thinks the Dodgers will sign Carlos Pena.

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  44. AB

    Chris Rusin is also a possibility for LHP out of the bullpen. I remember around the draft time people saying Sean Marshall was a good comp for an absolute ceiling, as I think he’s a soft-tossing lefty.

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