OV Sesquiannual Facepalm 11.18.15: Cubs opening a hardware store

In Facepalm by berselius158 Comments

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Cubs pulling in some serious hardware

In a move that shocked no one outside a few BFIB and Edinson Volquez backers, Kris Bryant was the unanimous winner of the NL Rookie of the Year award. Joe Maddon won the Manager of the Year award, and the only disappointment was that he was live at his bar for the announcement rather than on the Cousin Eddie. Jake Arrieta goes for the hat trick tonight for the NL Cy.

Jose Fernandez, please

Sirius XM's Craig Mish tweeted that the Marlins could move Jose Fernandez this offseason. This was immediately shot down by other reports, but given the history of the Miami Lorias and the intransigence of Scott Boras, it's not unreasonable. No one is untouchable after all, aside from maybe Rich Hill*. If only there was a team out there with assets to spare looking to trade for cost-controlled pitching and for which cheapness isn't a religion.

*does anyone remember who prompted the Hendry 'untouchable' quote/ACB meme in 2011? I know Hill was untouchable at one point, but I don't think it was him.

David Ross to retire

I guess we're past the 'last season'/'this season' line, since I was pretty excited to see that Ross would be retiring after this season…sadly 'this' is now 'the 2016 season'. I like Ross, and enjoy his walk-up music even more than Castro's, but it sure would be nice to see him in the dugout as a coach/mascot than in the batters' box. 

Three and a half minutes of Ryan Theriot doing Ryan Theriot things

This was made over at viva el birdos back in 2011. And it's just one year of the Scraptain's antics!

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  1. cerulean

    Sure, it would’ve been nice with the series ring—or even the pennant—but we’ll take ROY, MOY, and Cy while we’re waiting.

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  2. Rizzo the Rat

    dmick89:
    Can’t remember who it was though.

    I think Hendry described a couple of players as being “untouchable.” I remember one of them being Jeff Baker.

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  3. cerulean

    Here’s hoping the Cubs pull all four trophies individual trophies and a team one next year.

    For ROY, I’m guessing it would have to be Almora or McKinney or a young arm from a trade.

    For MOY, I think they would have to win something like 110 games and deal with injuries/more rookies.

    For MVP, Rizzo or Bryant are probably the only ones with a chance.

    For Cy, Arrieta or [insert favorite FA] or [insert favorite trade target] or [insert rookie that came out of nowhere and also wins the ROY].

    Yeah, a sweep ain’t happenin’.

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  4. cerulean

    EnricoPallazzo:
    is there anything that is not automatically hilarious when yakkety sax is playing? i don’t think there is.

    Yakkety Sax is not automatically hilarious when Yakkety Sax is playing.

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  5. Author
    berselius

    (dying laughing), how could I forget about the Jeff Baker Era.

    I must have been thinking 2011 because of Hendry being in Save His Job mode, but I guess no one would be untouchable at that point.

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  6. Author
    berselius

    Speaking of Jeff Baker:

    "We'd have circus music blaring after we won a game," one player source told me. "Jeff Baker got released because one day he brought in about 50 red clown noses to go with the music and passed them out,"

     

    http://slaterscoops.com/news/2015/11/18/the-miami-marlins-clubhouse-was-a-circus-literally

     

    Some anonymous "attitude issues" character smearing going on with Fernandez. Did they hire Larry Lucchino this offseason?

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  7. dmick89

    I think what Cafardo said yesterday on mlb network was interesting. He said every year Theo would try to acquire King Felix, even one point offering up the team’s top 6 prospects.

    That’s probably what it would take to get Fernandez.

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  8. Millertime

    Re: Untouchable prospects, wasn’t it from 2006, when Lee got hurt and the Cubs were looking at picking up a bat to try and replace him, and Hill was tearing it up in AAA?

    Also, wow was Rich Hill’s AAA in 2006 amazing. Dude had a 1.79 FIP in 100 IP. K-BB% of 30%, with a 6.43 K/BB ratio. I knew he had a good minor league track record, but wow.

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  9. Suburban kid

    Arguing about whether a meme was from 2011, 2006 or 2009

    Using words like sesquiannual

    You guys are so freaking old.

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  10. cerulean

    The Cubs did pick up Mets’ arm recovering from TJ. Is it just me or are a lot of Mets’ arms getting the knife lately. I imagine (if it is not just randomness), they tend to favor big strikeout guys who push the limits of their bodies.

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  11. cerulean

    If this Leathersich character can cut down his BBs, he may prove to be very good. At all levels for his career, he has a 3.0 K/BB ratio with about 5BB/9.

    Yes, that is a 15K/9 clip.

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  12. Author
    berselius

    FWIW, I’m guessing Leathersack is going on the 60-day DL, so I think that means no 40-man considerations? Or does that only apply during the season?

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  13. dmick89

    berselius,

    Only during the season. All DL players are activated from it at the end of the season. The Cubs must think this guy is pretty good or they aren’t going to bother protecting as many others as we thought.

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  14. cerulean

    In addition to Vogelbach and Villanueva, the household name Jeimer Candelario (3B) is another player in the top 30 of Cub prospects (20th) that doesn’t have a place on the team, but should be eligible for the Rule 5. Daury Torres (RHP–29th) was signed 12/22/10 as a 17-year-old, so he just misses.

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  15. dmick89

    Candelario hit 15 home runs between A+, AA and AFL this year. I believe he’s also a good defender and this was just his age 21 season. He’s definitely going to stick around and be protected. He’s probably the one guys who might push Bryant to an outfield corner if all works out as you hope with Candelario.

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  16. JonKneeV

    dmick89,

    I remember reading that best case he would be average at 3rd and would likely move to 1st or LF. That said, you’re right. He’s a lock to be protected if he’s not traded.

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  17. cerulean

    According to Mayo, these are the Cubs’ top 30 prospects eligible for the Rule 5:

    No. 7 Pierce Johnson, RHP
    No. 10 Willson Contreras, C
    No. 13 Dan Vogelbach, 1B
    No. 19 Corey Black, RHP
    No. 20 Jeimer Candelario, 3B
    No. 29 Daury Torrez, RHP

    I guess it is five (or four for 19+) years from the June of the year signed, not from the actual date the player was signed, even if not part of the draft, so Torrez is eligible.

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  18. dmick89

    I’m assuming that Vogelbach will be traded today. I just don’t see a spot for him. I think the 3 locks to be added to the roster are Pierce Johnson, Jeimer Candelario and Willson Contreras. Same as JKV except I think Vogelbach gets dealt. There’s just no room for him on this roster anymore.

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  19. cerulean

    Adding them leaves two spots on the 40-man if my info is correct. I wonder if they will go for a Rule 5 pick or two or just cover two of their less highly touted eligibles.

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  20. cerulean

    dmick89,

    Yes, but that could come after some of them are traded, right? If nothing else, they would have to sneak them past waivers—or is such 40-man manipulation not allowed?

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  21. Suburban kid

    Imagine having a sack of leather. With balls of steel.

    I guess cows’ bulls’ scrotums are actually leather.

    Did I post that out loud?

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  22. EnricoPallazzo

    Myles:
    Starlin Castro for Brett Gardner is a hot rumor I recently enjoyed.

    Thoughts?

    i just saw that. i’m probably a much bigger castro fan than most so i would not really be happy with that trade. i’m pretty sure gardner is a pretty sub-par CF and i don’t think he’s played there all that much.

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  23. dmick89

    cerulean,

    Yes and no. Once rosters are set today, any trade will bring back players already on the 40-man roster. best in my opinion to keep a couple spots open for possible free agent signings. I’m not even convinced that Vogelbach needs to be added to the roster. He’d probably be taken in the rule 5 draft, but he’s also more than likely be returned to the Cubs prior to the season.

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  24. JonKneeV

    dmick89,

    cerulean,

    Players can be added to the 40 man to protect them, but to get them off the 40 man the player must pass through waivers where all 29 other teams will be able to claim the player if they have an open spot on their 40 man.

    So basically – take the chance that a player won’t be selected in a draft format where every team is contemplating eligible players from all 30 teams (and have their own 40 man crunch issues to consider), or protect them now and put them at risk of being claimed on waivers where every team will be able to carefully look at that player?

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  25. JonKneeV

    cerulean,

    I couldn’t find anything definitive, but I would imagine that any player that is on the old team’s 40 man roster must be added to the new team’s 40 man roster or go through waivers.

    Also, the Cubs have until 8 pm EST to finalize the 40 man. No trades or additions to the 40 man yet. Some teams have started to announce which players they’ve added.

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  26. JonKneeV

    Isn’t it kind of weird that the Cubs have claimed 3 reject relief pitchers from other teams? Here’s the relief pitchers already on the 40 man:

    Dallas Beeler
    Carl Edwards Jr.
    Justin Grimm
    Eric Jokisch
    Yoervis Medina
    Neil Ramirez
    Clayton Richard
    Hector Rondon
    Zac Rosscup
    Pedro Strop
    Travis Wood

    That’s 11 pitchers already plus the 3 they added to make 14 RPs on the 40 man. You usually carry, what, 7 bullpen arms on the 25 man roster?

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  27. dmick89

    EnricoPallazzo,

    No, probably not. It probably just means they wanted to protect him for one reason or another. I’m still not sure they needed to, but they know a lot more than I do.

    I still think a DH in the NL is a few years off at least. There hasn’t been a whole lot of talk about it, but I would be thrilled if they added it with the next CBA.

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  28. cerulean

    So the Dodgers may be looking to shed their joyful clubhouse cancer—Yasiel Puig. He is signed through 2018 at a reasonable cost. While a flashy defender, he isn’t good enough to be an asset in center, which would likely mean Soler would get traded—killing my fleeting thoughts of an all-Cubano outfield with Eddy Martinez in 2018—though a 2016 outfield of Schwarber, Puig, and Soler would be quite formidable offensively…and an offense to defense, generally.

    So what would it take to get the guy who, as of last year, was considered one of the brightest young stars in the game? 2015 was not kind to him, but he still has vast potential. The Dodgers don’t need help in the outfield but are losing Kendrick at 2B to free agency. Though what they really want is cheap and decent pitching for their rotation.

    Any idea I have of a trade I shoot down because imagining a possible 6+ WAR player being acquired by the odds and ends that don’t fit on the Cubs just doesn’t seem plausible, but if I up the ante, then he was worth just 1 WAR this year and didn’t get along with his teammates. Castro isn’t enough but the position is right and money is even. Baez is a bargain with tremendous upside and tremendous downside. As for cheap, MLB-ready starters, there is Hendricks, and then it’s just guys coming out of the pen. I think Baez and a ranked minor-league arm could get him if the Dodgers’ FO is set on sending him packing—which seems like a steal. Otherwise, I’d hold on to him and hope for a year like 2014 and then trade him for a few #1 picks at the deadline.

    For the record, I think he would be an excellent fit in a Maddon clubhouse.

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  29. dmick89

    cerulean,

    I’m sure Puig would be fine as far as the clubhouse goes, but he’d cost a lot and with Jason Heyward available for just money, I’d much rather they go that route if that’s what they’re looking to do.

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  30. dmick89

    What would it cost, though? Baez plus a whole lot more. Baez may have a ton of potential, but he’s the same age as Puig and Baez has done nothing compared to Puig. I’d guess it’s Baez + the top 3 or 4 prospects in the Cubs system.

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  31. dmick89

    I guess Puig is a couple years older than Baez. For some reason i was thinking he was only 22 this year. Still, it’s going to take a lot from the Cubs to get him. If they’re going to clean out their farm system, I’d much rather it be for Fernandez.

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  32. uncle dave

    dmick89,

    I was a little surprised to see Corey Black not added, as it seems easiest to hide a kid who isn’t ready at the back of the pen. I wouldn’t be terribly upset to see any of the other candidates go, though.

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  33. Ryno

    JonKneeV,

    Thanks. I’ll add him to my list of draft reads.

    I try not to read any evals until I’ve looked at a player myself. Then I’ll look around at various evals and re-watch players when my opinion differs from the consensus.

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  34. GBtS

    I’ve watched the Theriot video probably every day for like a week and I still laugh uncontrollably once I get about 90 seconds in.

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  35. dmick89

    Donald Trump says he has found evidence to back up his claim that he witnessed thousands of Muslims in Jersey City celebrating following the 9/11 attacks. During a rally in Columbus, Ohio on Monday, he cited a Washington Post article written a week after the attack that refers to police investigating claims that groups were holding ‘tailgate-style parties on rooftops’. He also says his claims have been backed up by internet users.

    Is Trump the first politician to back up his claims with internet users? (dying laughing)

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  36. Millertime

    dmick89,

    He seems pretty bulletproof at the moment. It’s like the worse the things are that he says, the more support he gets. I keep telling myself there’s no way he gets the nomination, but I’m starting to get scared.

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  37. Perkins

    Millertime,

    Fivethirtyeight doesn’t seem to be as worried:
    http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/dear-media-stop-freaking-out-about-donald-trumps-polls/

    Honestly, his appeal is zero outside of his frothing camp of supporters, and the more he says, the more he alienates large swaths of voters. For one, the GOP has been trying to court the Hispanic vote, and they don’t stand a ghost of a chance of doing that with that fat bag of ass with the dead squirrel on his head.

    My money is on Rubio’s getting the nomination. Trump is too much of a fascist.

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  38. dmick89

    Perkins,

    Yeah, he has little actual chance of winning the nomination. His odds of then winning the general election aren’t much higher than my odds. He’s just a troll. I keep telling people to enjoy it. It’s free humor.

    I think Rubio also gets the nomination, but I’m not counting Bush out.

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  39. Perkins

    dmick89,

    Bush has been pretty lackluster in the last couple of debates, and I think his family name works against him. He has a chance, but he hasn’t been especially inspiring to this point.

    As to Trump, even though I don’t think he’s a legitimate threat to get the nomination, let alone win the general election, the Sturmabteilung tactics he and his supporters have started to employ and his own fascist rhetoric doesn’t say anything good about the state of the republic (namely that he appeals to a nonzero amount of people). I’m at the point where I expect to see his supporters start wearing armbands.

    I think he would have already flamed out 50 years ago, but since news departments need to be profitable, they keep giving him the spotlight since he generates so much traffic. A lot of perverse incentives in play.

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  40. Millertime

    dmick89,

    Yeah, I don’t think he’ll actually win it, and even if he did, his shot at the general election would be pretty slim.

    Whoever wins the Republican nomination, I don’t see them doing too well in the general election.

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  41. dmick89

    Perkins: Bush has been pretty lackluster in the last couple of debates, and I think his family name works against him. He has a chance, but he hasn’t been especially inspiring to this point.

    I agree. He’s been less than impressive so far, but that family name is still going to get him a lot of money. I think once Trump and Carson are a thing of the past, which hopefully happens soon, the race will narrow down to Bush and Rubio. I think Bush has the ability to raise more money. I still think Rubio wins, but money is huge in elections.

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  42. dmick89

    Millertime,

    I don’t see them doing well in the general election either. I don’t really care though. I’ll more than likely not vote or vote libertarian. I wish we had a 3 or more party system here in the US.

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  43. Author
    berselius

    Millertime,

    They’ll still do just fine thanks to their gerrymandering the shit out of all the states they own. Not to say that the Dems don’t do it too, but you don’t see nearly the ridiculous shift to the left like the crazy-ass house republican caucus. This trend and the Trump/Carson caucus that votes for the shutdown caucus could be enough of a threat to the R’s longstanding iron unity to actually break things into a real multi-party system, which would be awesome.

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  44. Author
    berselius

    berselius, Republicans who worry about a separate conservative party handing victory to the Dems seem to forget their long history of being able to do anything competent at the party level. I wouldn't trust Democratic leadership to organize an orgy in a brothel.

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  45. dmick89

    berselius: I wouldn’t trust Democratic leadership to organize an orgy in a brothel.

    (dying laughing) I’m no Democrat, but even I think they could pull that off. Not without some difficulties, but they’d figure it out.

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  46. Perkins

    I think Rubio would have a better shot in the general election than a lot of folks think. Especially given that he’s younger and more dynamic than Hillary, and a lot of Americans don’t really trust her.

    I think it’s a close general election, but Rubio has a real opportunity to attack Hillary as more of the same and prey on people’s general dissatisfaction with the Obama administration. That and its disastrous foreign policy.

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  47. Millertime

    berselius,

    Yeah, Wisconsin is pretty Gerrymandered (I don’t know if that’s a word.). It’s very frustrating, they can pretty much pass whatever they want, and suffer no consequences to their re-election bids.

    I don’t dislike Hillary or Bernie Sanders, but I wish there was a bit wider of a field.

    If anything, I wish there was a political party that cared less about litmus test issues, and cared more about actually getting shit done.

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  48. dmick89

    Perkins: I think Rubio would have a better shot in the general election than a lot of folks think. Especially given that he’s younger and more dynamic than Hillary, and a lot of Americans don’t really trust her.

    It’s impossible to know a year away from the election. A lot can change. I think if it was held today, I think Clinton beats Rubio by a solid 5%. IIRC, that’s a bit higher than in the last election.

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  49. dmick89

    I’m just not sure what Trump gets out of this. He’s alienated so many people. That has to have a negative effect on his businesses, right? I don’t get it. I seriously wonder if he’s lost it mentally.

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  50. Millertime

    dmick89,

    Maybe he just really loves the attention. Or maybe it helps him sell a book or two, and get into the “political commentator” circuit, like Sarah Palin.

    The negative effect on his businessess might not even be that bad. The gerneral public loses interest easily, so as long as his hotels have good deals, people will probably still go there.

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  51. JonKneeV

    Cubs give up Wander Cabrera. Cabrera just turned 18 and played in the DSL. He pitched 42.1 innings with a WHIP of 1.25 and a 2.34 ERA.

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  52. Author
    berselius

    Millertime: Yeah, Wisconsin is pretty Gerrymandered (I don’t know if that’s a word.). It’s very frustrating, they can pretty much pass whatever they want, and suffer no consequences to their re-election bids.

    Wisconsin isn’t even that bad – I lived in Texas for ~4 years, the districts there are hilarious. I lived in north Austin for my first year and was in the same house district as the west Houston suburbs. The much shittier neighborhood I lived in for the rest of the time was basically just every black/hispanic neighborhood along I-35 from central-ish Austin to downtown San Antonio (and was often just as wide as the interstate). It was the sole Democratic district in all of the Austin area, and had been redrawn three times to force the rep to move (IIRC, they would deliberately exclude his house). I can’t remember if it still is the case, but the south Austin district used to run all the way to the Mexican border. On top of that, the congressman whose district contains UT is Lamar Smith, the dumbass who wants to have Congressional committees review and grant National Science Foundation grants, rather than actual scientists. He came to the dedication of the big NSF-funded supercomputer unveiling while I was there and spoke the whole time about how it was going to be used for “national security”, like UT-Austin was the NSA or a nuclear lab (dying laughing).

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  53. Author
    berselius

    dmick89:
    I’m just not sure what Trump gets out of this. He’s alienated so many people. That has to have a negative effect on his businesses, right? I don’t get it. I seriously wonder if he’s lost it mentally.

    Trump’s always seemed like one of those “even bad publicity is still publicity” guys. And I don’t think he ever was that serious about actually getting elected, he just wanted to build his brand such as it is and push the xenophobic shit he’s interested in into the political conversation. But who knows what’s going on under that dead squirrel on his head.

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  54. Author
    berselius

    berselius: We needed to maintain our discredited eligibility, we’re out of red-shirt years.

    Given Trump’s rhetoric of late, probably better to describe it as brown-shirt years (dying laughing)

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  55. Author
    berselius

    dmick89:
    So Mark McGwire is a bench coach and Sammy Sosa can’t even get recognized by his former team.

    +1 LSA rec’d turn it green NAMBLA racism

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  56. cerulean

    dmick89:
    So Mark McGwire is a bench coach and Sammy Sosa can’t even get recognized by his former team.

    Guilty until proven innocent. It’s the American way.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

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  57. dmick89

    cerulean,

    I really hoped the new front office would do whatever they could to make amends with Sosa. I’m disappointed they haven’t. It’s embarrassing in my opinion that the team’s best player since Banks, Santo and Williams is not even embraced as a part of the organization. Perception of Sosa would change if the Cubs welcomed him back and encouraged him to be a part of certain events and parts of Spring Training.

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  58. dmick89

    Peter Gammons says there’s a lot of Lackey and Alex Gordon to the Cubs talk. I’d love to have Gordon. I don’t really care about Lackey, but whatever. If the Cubs did get Gordon, Soler is almost certainly going to be traded.

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  59. Millertime

    dmick89,

    I’m disappointed that the FO still makes it sound like Sosa is the one who needs to do all the work of making amends and apologizing.

    In the meantime, they hire Manny Ramirez. That’s just kinda messed up.

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  60. Perkins

    Millertime,

    I think I remember Theo or Jed as saying he still needed to make amends with a few people in the organization, but that was a couple years ago. I think Castro is the only player left who played with Z.

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  61. dmick89

    I guess having Rex Brothers around to come in when you need to intentionally walk someone will be a good thing. He can pretty much intentionally walk a batter without even trying so that’s going to be fun. The guy has Marmol-esque control.

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  62. cerulean

    Millertime,

    Am I right in thinking that the only other player to be at least Sosa and Zambrano (by WAR) in the last 35 years was Ryne Sandberg? (It can be easy to forget just how good Sandberg’s numbers were after players started cheating the “wrong” way. He was really fucking good.)

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  63. EnricoPallazzo

    cerulean:
    Millertime,

    Am I right in thinking that the only other player to be at least Sosa and Zambrano (by WAR) in the last 35 years was Ryne Sandberg? (It can be easy to forget just how good Sandberg’s numbers were after players started cheating the “wrong” way. He was really fucking good.)

    b-ref says that yes, you are correct. although mark grace is only 1 WAR lower than Z. i would have bet that aramis was higher than Z but he’s not even close (44 vs 29ish).

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  64. dmick89

    Jordan Zimmerman/Tigers talk heating up apparently. He was the one high priced pitcher I thought the Cubs would actually go after a bit harder than they have.

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  65. cerulean

    It seems like the Cubs prefer Shark to Zimmerman. While I think Zim is a better pitcher right now, I have an inkling that the Superfriends believe that Shark can have a big return to form after Cooper’s magic backfired. ~5/$85M for Shark may be even more of a steal with the possibility of the same production (about 4 WAR).

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  66. Suburban kid

    I don’t think Theo or Jed has every said anything about Sosa. It’s not their issue. It’s Ricketts and Kenney who are for responsible this, Kenney because he’s an ass who was around back in 2004, and Ricketts because he makes decisions based on surveys of meatballs.

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  67. dmick89

    Theo has said that one is up to ownership. I have no clue what those people have said or think about the issue.

    cerulean,

    5/85 for Samardzija is a lot more risky than 5/110 for Zimmerman in my opinion. I’m really surprised Zimmerman didn’t get more. Makes me wonder if we’ve overestimated how much money some of the top free agents are going to get. If that’s the case, waiting for Greinke or Price makes the most sense. Still prefer Heyward though.

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  68. dmick89

    So how much does Cueto get? I was thinking more than $100 million for sure, but now I wonder if he might be down around 5/95 or 5/100. I’d take that over Zimmerman too.

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  69. cerulean

    dmick89,

    Agreed. I was trying to get to the reason the Cubs didn’t seem to even pursue Zimmerman. Now that he signed for much cheaper than expected (though because of years and not because of a low AAV), it does make them seem a bit daft. My speculation—Thoyer was staying away from the 2nd tier pitching, focusing on Price and some notches down like Lackey and Shark. I do think Shark has a chance to be as good as Zimmerman, but only 1 time out of 3.

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