The 2014 version of Cardinal Devil Magic died tonight in San Francisco as Travis Ishikawa tore the head off, burned the corpse, and dumped the ashes of it in holy water with his walk-off three-run homerun.
In the aftermath, @BestFansStLouis was happy to find a Cardinals fan to provide the eulogy:
FUCK YOU GIANTS FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK OFF FUCK ME FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK TITTY COCK GOATSHIT BALLS FUCK FUCK YOU GIANTS SALTY AF
— Chad Russell (@BigKnowledgeSTL) October 17, 2014
On a side note, I promised Twitter and Facebook that I would buy a Hunter Pence shirsey if the Giants beat the Cardinals, so please excuse me while I happily go purchase that spastic turd nugget’s number.
I will be able to enjoy the World Series. Thank DeRosa.