Top Ten Rejected 2013 Cubs Slogans

In Commentary And Analysis by aisle424107 Comments

The Cubs unveiled their new marketing slogan the other day and simultaneously churned Twitter into a furious snarky froth with "Committed." Frankly, I think "Committed" is right up there with "It's a Way of Life" as most mockable slogans the Cubs have come up with under the Ricketts. It took Twitter about 10 seconds to start making insanity references and the beat writers were in on it within 30 seconds. This was not the farthest anyone has ever had to reach to make a joke out of the Cubs.

The speed in which the slogan was turned on its ear made me wonder what the Cubs had considered and rejected if "Committed" is what they landed on and agreed was the best possible option on the table. Naturally, we unleashed OV's full espionage resources that are rivaled only by the most secretive of government agencies, which may or may not exist, and gathered information on the Cubs rejected ideas.

We now present the Cubs slogan ideas that were never intended for the public to see, and in many cases were simply jotted down on a cocktail napkin. Many Bothans died to bring us this information:

Top Ten Rejected 2013 Cubs Slogans

10. "Give Us Your Money"

9. "Cubs Baseball es Muy Valbuena!"

8. "What Are You Going to Do, Root for the Sox?"

7. "Jeff Samardzija Might Pitch in the Game You Attend, Wouldn't That be Neat?"

6. "Seriously, Give Us Your Money"

5. "Come for the Schierholtz, Stay for the Lillibridge" 

4. "If a Piece of Concrete Falls On You, It's Yours to Keep!"

3. "How 'Bout Them Blackhawks?"

2. "We Accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Cash… There's Really no Reason Why You Haven't Given Us Your Money Yet"

1. "Bison Dogs and Troughs and Slightly Better Celebrity Singers, Oh My!"
 

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  18. dmick89

    @ Lukas:
    My back has been killing me for about 2 weeks and I finally just got back to the computer yesterday. I also thought it was a joke until I visited cubs.com today. (dying laughing)

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  22. Mercurial Outfielder

    @ dmick89:
    I bought some medicinal marijuana to aid in my recovery and Berselius found out and suspended me from the blog.

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  30. Author
    Aisle424

    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)

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  40. Suburban kid

    @ Rice Cube:

    Which is good for Canada Sr., USA, because if they lost, we would have been in deep shit with regard to advancing to the next round.

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  49. dmick89

    @ WaLi:
    They enjoy the extra hour of sunlight at the end of the day. Seem to recall it was established to conserve energy (lighting), but air conditioners defeat that purpose. I’m sure stores love it. I like it that it’s light out past 9 in the summers, but it’s really something i don’t care a whole lot about. Except for one or two Indian reservations, Arizona doesn’t follow DST and when I lived there I didn’t notice any difference between using it and not using it. I guess it was probably nice that the sun went down a little earlier, but it wasn’t a big deal. To be honest, about the only time I even noticed the difference was when the Cubs played at 12 pm on a Saturday or Sunday. It was 10 am there. That was weird. It was just as weird when they started at 10 am when I lived in Portland.

    Is there a specific reason why you don’t like it? I’ve never thought much about it.

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  50. WaLi

    @ dmick89:
    I don’t really hate it, just don’t see the point of it anymore. I just disliked it this morning because I woke up and it was 9 AM. I hate sleeping in!

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  52. Berselius37

    @ dmick89:

    Really? From what I remember the whole “daylight saving is for famers” was a myth, and most farmers oppose it. IIRC the unspoken reason was that people shop more after work if there is more light.

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  55. GW

    @ Suburban kid:

    Yes, it’s been explained to me that Daylight Savings is universally superior, mostly because of energy efficiency (daylight corresponding to people’s waking hours), and we’d be better off using it year round.

    Personally, I love it.

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  58. Suburban kid

    Apparently Big Z had one of his on-the-mound meltdowns yesterday for old times sake. I’m sure the scouts were impressed!

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  59. dmick89

    @ Berselius37:
    I’m not talking with a large sample of farmers or anything, but yes, they’ve been in favor of it. I’m sure it depends on the type of farming. I’m sure retail is a factor, but it’s not the reason they started doing it. Neither is farming. I like it and as long as I’m happy, that’s all that matters. (dying laughing)

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  61. SVB

    Wikipedia:

    During World War I, in an effort to conserve fuel, Germany began observing DST on May 1, 1916. As the war progressed, the rest of Europe adopted DST. The plan was not formally adopted in the United States until the Standard Time Act of March 19, 1918, which established standard time zones and set summer DST to begin on March 31, 1918. The idea was unpopular, however, and Congress abolished DST after the war, overriding President Woodrow Wilson’s veto. DST became a local option and was observed in some states until World War II, when President Franklin Roosevelt instituted year-round DST, …until the last Sunday in September 1945. The next year, many states and localities adopted summer DST.[3]

    From 1945 to 1966, there was no federal law regarding daylight saving time, so states and localities were free to choose whether to observe it, and could choose when it began and ended. By 1962, the transportation industry found the lack of nationwide consistency in time observance confusing enough to push for federal regulation….

    During the 1973 oil embargo by the Organization of Arab Petroleum Exporting Countries, in an effort to conserve fuel Congress enacted a trial period of year-round DST, beginning January 6, 1974, and ending April 27, 1975.[4] From the beginning, the trial was hotly debated. Those in favor pointed to the benefits of increased daylight hours in the winter evening: more time for recreation, reduced lighting and heating demands, reduced crime, and reduced automobile accidents. The opposition was concerned about children leaving for school in the dark.

    Buts let’s go back to this!! It fits the tropical schedule that I’m forced to live with pretty well.

    ancient civilizations adjusted daily schedules to the sun more flexibly than modern DST does, often dividing daylight into twelve hours regardless of day length, so that each daylight hour was longer during summer. For example, Roman water clocks had different scales for different months of the year: at Rome’s latitude the third hour from sunrise started by modern standards at 09:02 solar time and lasted 44 minutes at the winter solstice, but at the summer solstice it started at 06:58 and lasted 75 minutes.

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  62. dmick89

    I haven’t thought a whole lot about DST, but what are the arguments against it? Is the whole biological clock problems really that big of a deal? If so, move the change to Saturday, which it should be anyway. I don’t know, I’ve never noticed a problem with that. I slept an “extra” hour today, but I’ll fall asleep at the same time as usual tonight.

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  65. Suburban kid

    @ dmick89:
    They have a pretty good roster already as it is. It goes to show that short competitions are a different animal.

    Bunt fail. Just gave up one of their last six outs for nothing.

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  82. GBTS

    @ GW:
    To be fair, grocery bags are pretty dumb. Bring your own sack. Hell, maybe people wouldn’t be so fat if they couldn’t carry an infinite amount of shit back to their car.

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  83. GW

    @ GBTS:

    Couldn’t disagree more. It’s fine for people who go make frequent trips to the store and buy small quantities of food (ie the yuppies on the city council), but it basically enforces that preference on everyone else. I would hate to shop for a family of five, planning to cart around 20 bulky cloth bags whenever I decide to buy groceries. Increasing the inconvenience of going to the store is only going to drive more people to the drive through window.

    Not to mention it has to be a nightmare in terms of carbon footprint, which is ostensibly the reason for the ban. Thousands of people will end up making more frequent trips to the store or driving a few miles extra to go out of the city limits and all of the sudden that mL of oil used to make each plastic bag is going to look like a drop in the bucket. People like me will end up buying plastic bags that are of higher quality than I need rather than reusing grocery bags for things like cleaning up after my pets and small trash bags. Either they didn’t think it through, or they are just signalling that Austin made up people of a certain mindset (as was aptly described by Phil in his piece). I suspect the latter, but the former can’t be ruled out.

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  84. WaLi

    @ GW:
    I forget where I was, maybe Canada or France, but they made you pay like a nickel if you didn’t have your own bags. Seemed like a fair trade off to me. My local grocery store takes a nickel off for each bag you bring in yourself.

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  85. Suburban kid

    GW wrote:

    I would hate to shop for a family of five, planning to cart around 20 bulky cloth bags

    It’s not that hard. First, you need about six or seven bags not 20. (You can get much larger bags than the typical disposable bag). Second, they all fold up flat and can be stored in one bag. There is absolutely no bulk involved.

    The only hassle is the impromptu stop at the store when you don’t have a bag. (Unless you’re smart enough to keep one or two in your trunk). But you know what? I don’t mind carry 10 items out of the store shoved in my arms, pockets, etc. because my car is right outside. If I have 20 items, I can put them in the cart and wheel them to the car. I only ask for disposable grocery bags (which you have to pay for where I live) if I’m doing a full weekly shop and I forget to bring the bags from home.

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  86. Suburban kid

    @ WaLi:
    They cost more like 30 cents where I live (Ireland). It’s a tax on plastic bags brought in around 10 years ago as an anti-litter measure. They didn’t use paper grocery bags here at all, so plastic was rampant and there was definitely a problem with the fucking things being everywhere, stuck in trees, blocking drains, blowing down the street like tumbleweeds. A year or so after the measure was put in place, everyone had adjusted to bringing their own bags or going without, and the place looked a little cleaner too.

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  87. Rice on bus

    I deliberately go to stores that either allow you to bag your own groceries or that don’t care if you steal tons of bags at a time. I also only go shopping once every two weeks to save fuel and time. The amount of bags I snag each time is enough for the entire two week doggy poop period and to clean up the kitty litter, line trash cans etc. It’s pretty economical if you actually plan ahead (dying laughing)

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  90. Berselius

    It’s $1 per bag in Austin, and it applies to paper bags too. I like the spirit of the law and usually bring my own bags, but I rely on getting paper bags every 2 or 3 trips for reuse around my house so I’m a little annoyed.

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  91. Berselius

    Some grocery stores were giving out free re-usable bags for the week or two prior to the ban, at least. Even better, that was true of the ghetto HEB near my house and not the ritzy one up near the Rich People Mall.

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  92. dmick89

    My concern for reusable bags is one of health. Those bags are ridiculously dirty and I would guess that few people do anything about it. I also like to get plastic bags on occasion for various offs and ends.

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  94. Rice Cube

    @ Berselius:
    Meijer around these parts has a bag recycling program but they don’t pay you for it as far as I can tell. So I don’t know why anyone would have incentive unless they’re the Lorax.

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  95. Mish

    Probably unsurprising, but I oppose any kind of legal bans on grocery bags and the like, though I rarely ever take them unnecessarily. I usually take my backpack to the grocery store, and since I only usually buy a few things, it’s usually no problem. I also do my bulk shopping at Costco, which doesn’t give away plastic bags.

    FWIW, I also am a hoarder of plastic bags and constantly re-use them so they aren’t wasted. I use them to line the insides of my bathroom trash cans so I don’t go through as many actual garbage bags, and I use the bags to transport dirty clothes on trips and what not.

    I try to fully embrace all three “Rs” of environmentalism (dying laughing)

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  96. Mish

    Mish wrote:

    I usually take my backpack to the grocery store, and since I only usually buy a few things, it’s usually no problem.

    Fuck fuck fuck, not in mid-season form this morning. (dying laughing)

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  103. dmick89

    GW wrote:

    that mL of oil used to make each plastic bag is going to look like a drop in the bucket.

    For some reason I thought plastic bags no longer used oil. Am I full of shit for thinking that?

    I agree with what you’re saying. I live in Kansas so no such bans exist or are like to, but I would not like them. I use the plastic bags for various things that others have already mentioned. I’m kind of like Berselius in that most of the time we use our own bags, but every 2nd or 3rd trip to the store we get the plastic bags.

    Seems the best way to solve this issue is to create a way to more easily recycle these bags, which I would be happy to do, but I actually use most of those bags.

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