TGIF Is A Replacement Level Restaurant

In Other Topics by dmick89145 Comments

I hope I don’t get fired by Tim, Adam and Berselius for writing a post that is only loosely tied to sports, but after reading a couple threads on the fantastic The Book Blog over the last week, I’m going to do it. The first thread I’m not going to bother looking for as it was mostly about fast food. The most recent thread though, that’s what I want to talk about. It’s about the dilly-dallyers in restaurants and how those establishments deal with those people.

First of all, I worked in the food industry for a long time. I graduated from Scottsdale Culinary Institute in 1998 and worked in several higher end restaurants around the country after that. I owned a restaurant that failed. I was part-owner of another and have since sold. The types of restaurants I was affiliated with served high quality food. It came with significantly higher priced items on the menu.

Tom Tango is saying that he shouldn’t be run out of a restaurant if he’s dilly-dallying. I had initially started to repond in the comments there on two different occasions, but my comment became long and not as organized as I would like. I organized my thoughts a little more and decided to write it here.

The restaurant that Tango is speaking of is TGIF. He bought a dinner for $10 and some drinks and was told to leave after he hadn’t been a paying customer for awhile. The commenters were quick to compare how restaurants in Europe respond to this (they don’t bring your check until you ask for it), but this misses the point. I’m also afraid that Tango doesn’t recognize the service he is paying for at a place like TGIF (insert Applebee’s, Denny’s, or whatever other chain restaurant you want here).

Those places are profitable becasue of the turnover. They get you in and get you out. The fact the server is there so quickly after you get your menus and that your food comes almost instantly after you order is evidence of this. They want you to eat and leave. It’s not because they just want your money. It’s because in order to offer that same food at the affordable price it is, they have to do so much volume.

Think about McDonald’s for a moment. If there was no drive through and people took 2 hours to eat inside, what is McDonald’s going to do? They will either close or raise the prices at which point nobody could justify spending that kind of money for that kind of food. Then they’d close.

It’s the same thing at TGIF. They can offer the food they do at the affordable prices because they’re going to seat that very table 5 to 8 times in one night. Maybe even more than that if they get them in and out as fast as they’d like. That’s how they offer those dinners at $10.

Tango also brought up some math about him returning and it was a justification. It was well done and it’s the reason I go to that blog in the first place. But, a TGIF manager sees thousands of customers each week. He can’t possibly be thinking to himself, “OK, this guy paid this much, sat around this long, the result is he’s paying as much as someone who doesn’t dilly dally.” Can’t be done. Not in the short amount of time a manager or other employee has to figure this out. He’s not going to break out a calculator and he or she is probably unlikely to be able to figure it out without doing so. However, if you really do go to the same restaurant once a week, they aren’t going to tell you leave shortly after you’re done. If you sit there for 4 to 6 hours they might, but certainly not if you’re just wanting to stay there for another 30 minutes.

The service that people pay for at those restaurants are numerous. It’s all built into the cost of the food and we know they sell $10 dinners. As a result, we know that all of their services are done with as little money spent doing them. This is true across the board. Everything in those restaurants is made in a way that they can serve that kind of a meal for that cost. They spend as little money on food, preparations, cleanliness, servers, bar-staff, carpet, wood floors, decor and even the toilets themselves are cheap. They use cheap cleaning supplies. Their tables and chairs are cheap. The paint is cheap. The woodwork is cheap. Their bar stools are cheap. The bar itself is cheap. Everything.

To show this, I searched TGIF bar on google images and this was the first one I found.

That’s like a freaking circus. Seriously, I think I’ve seen circuses with less color.  That is an awful bar. Everything in it is the lowest quality imaginable. That looks like something made with colored legos and I’m guessing it doesn’t look much better in person. Compare that one to this one.

Notice the quality difference between the two photos above. If you’ve been to the place where the bottom picture was taken, you’ll feel like you’re slumming it if you go into the place where the first picture was taken. In every single way. There is nothing superior in quality in that TGIF image than the lower one. The design in one has a color for everyone. The design in the second one is elegant and beautiful. Notice the cheap separation between bar and tables at TGIF. Not so cheap in the other. Quite expensive actually. The top place spared cost everywhere possible while the second one spared none. Down to every little detail, the bar in the second picture out-spent the first one. There are many, many bars in fine restaurants that are much more extravagant than that one. I showed that one for its simplicity.

Take a look at the food from the same restaurants.

What the fuck? I can actually count the visible pieces of parsley (I doubt they’d use basil, too expensive). There’s one way over to the left, another two at the bottom, two on the chunk of food and then a larger chunk on top of another.  Speaking of chunk of food, what the hell is that? It’s a 100% guarantee that it came frozen, breaded and ready to be dropped into a fryer. No clue what it is though. I could take the very same stuff on that plate and make it look it somewhat edible.  Compare that to this image.

That’s just a soup, but notice the attention to detail that lacks in the first one. When this soup was arranged, it was done so with with pride. Somebody wanted to serve something that someone else would fall in love with when they first saw it. The garnish makes it appear as though it’s flowing around the bowl. The towers are wrapped in in some sort of green, but still standing. I suggest you try to do that at home. You’ll get frustrated and quit.

The difference between these restaurants is ridiculous. In one of them you’ll be asked to leave once you stop being a paying customer. In the other that won’t happen. You’re paying for something entirely different if you go to a place like that.

Instead of paying for the minimal amount of detail to everything possible like at TGIF, these places pay an enormous amount of detail to every single thing they do. You are paying for that attention. You are paying for the atmosphere. You’re paying to seated comfortably and taken well care of. You’re paying so you can dilly dally if you want.

When I started thinking more about this, the more I realized that a TGIF (and all the others) are really nothing but a replacement level restaurant. A replacement level player in sports provide the minimum amount of production for the minimum salary. When a player gets injured and you call a guy up from AAA, you’re not expecting much or any positive production from the player. If he was capable of that, he’d probably have already been up on the team. That’s not always true of course, but in general it is. The Cubs had two pitchers go on the DL yesterday and the typical replacement level pitchers have replaced them in the rotation until they are healthy.

In sports, we compare players to that replacement level because that is the player that would replace them. Replacment level is worse than average. If you look at the talent curve in baseball or any sport, you’ll see there aren’t all that many players who are average or better.

This concept can be used in a variety of ways. I’m not sure a replacement level restaurant really exists, but when you think about what you expect from a replacement level athlete and what goes into creating a TGIF, you can’t help but see how damn similar the two are. To be honest, my expectations are very similar too. I wouldn’t expect much if I went to TGIF, but I’d have very high expectations in the other place.

TGIF provides the minimum amount of comfort and quality. In return, you pay little money for that food and all the services that come with it. It’s not good service. It’s not good food either. It’s an acceptable place to eat for many reasons. Traveling is one. They’re often located so close to hotels and people are less familiar with the area and tend to prefer a meal they’re familiar with. TGIF offers a wide variety of food. Ever sat around on a Saturday knowing your hungry, but don’t know what you want to eat? TGIF is great for that. I think they plan to have every cuisine represented on their menu in the near future. It seems like they already do. Don’t want to get dressed up? Or even cleaned up? TGIF is there.

However, if you do know what kind of food you want, there are many places that serve that same food at a much higher quality. Some of those places aren’t even more expensive than TGIF. If you are familiar with the city you are in, you surely know of several restaurants that serve superior food. Many of them sell their food at the same cost too. If you do want to get cleaned up after working in the yard or even dressed up, there are much better places to relax and have a nice dinner than the circus that TGIF is.

TGIF is a replacement level restaurant because there are a number of reasons why you may choose to eat there, but few of them will ever have to do with the quality of their food, service and hospitality. As a replacement level restaurant, TGIF has to be more strict with their customers. They can’t take the time to figure out who spent what and how often they spent it. They’re too busy for that. They have a one size fits all rule book. Those rules include that all people inside the establishment must be a paying customer. If at some point you are no longer payiing customer, they should kick you out. There are likely several other people waiting in line anyway and nothing is more frustrating to someone in line than seeing someone sitting around not eating or drinking. I’ll guarantee more people have left those lines because of that than people who have not returned becasue they were asked to leave when they were no longer a paying customer. I’ll also guarantee far more people have left the line to eat elsewhere than the people who won’t return. For those who do not return, it just means that one of those who left for another restaurant will remain in the line.

If TGIF is a replacement level restaurant you may be wondering what McDonalds is. Mcdonald’s is Koyie Hill or Jeff Samardzija. TGIF is Darwin Barney. The other restaurant is this one.

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Comments

  1. ZappBrannigan

    Hmm. I see what you’re getting at, but doesn’t the turnover factor only apply if there are people waiting for seats? If the place is half empty and no one is waiting, it seems pretty unnecessary to kick people out in the name of a fast turnover. At that point, it even starts becoming bad business.

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  2. Berselius

    [quote name=ZappBrannigan]Hmm. I see what you’re getting at, but doesn’t the turnover factor only apply if there are people waiting for seats? If the place is half empty and no one is waiting, it seems pretty unnecessary to kick people out in the name of a fast turnover. At that point, it even starts becoming bad business.[/quote]
    You still have to pay your waitstaff, etc. If it’s slow you usually send them home.

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  3. GBTS

    Mish, I responded to your email. I think it would be easier on Saturday if we just met in the parking lot before the game. If we meet in the third stall from the left in the men’s room outside section 131 at the top of the fourth inning, we’ll miss some of the game. Its also a little unsanitary. You can still call me Evan though.

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  4. ZappBrannigan

    [quote name=Berselius]You still have to pay your waitstaff, etc. If it’s slow you usually send them home.[/quote]Right, but at a place like TGI Friday’s, once you get your check they’re not serving you anymore. Waitstaff can be sent home regardless of whether a table has left at that point.

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  5. Mish

    [quote name=GBTS]Mish, I responded to your email. I think it would be easier on Saturday if we just met in the parking lot before the game. If we meet in the third stall from the left in the men’s room outside section 131 at the top of the fourth inning, we’ll miss some of the game. Its also a little unsanitary. You can still call me Evan though.[/quote]
    Well that blows.

    I saw the message and will reply a bit later. Since I’m doing the patio package which starts about an hour.half before, it’s mostly going to depend on when we get there. Would love to meet up though, and put a face to your faget name.

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  6. Mish

    Also, this post is the best thing that ever happened to this blog. You may very well have begun a new food history.

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  7. bubblesdachimp

    Hayden Simpson

    1 IP 2 K…

    Brett jackson 1-1 1single 1 BB 1 RBI

    Vitters 1-1 SIngle BB

    Rusin (maybe replaces Cashner?) 2IP perfect 2 K

    Junior Lake 1-1

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  8. mb21

    Berselius is right. You may even get your check and pay it, but the bartender or another server still has to pay attention and occasionally check on you.

    It also depends on what time it is. Is it somewhat slow and 5:30 pm? If so, you’re expecting to get busier and you need that seat. If it’s 10:00 pm then I doubt they’ve ever kicked anybody out like that.

    I’d also add that paying for a meal at a place like TGIF doesn’t give them the right to sit around and watch TV.

    The last few paragraphs is what really explains why places like that do this. It’s a restaurant that has gone cheap in every way imaginable. That in itself means the service will be less friendly and accommodating. The people that get upset about being asked to leave need to ask themselves if they’re willing to spend more for the same dinner. If they are not, then they should quietly leave. The food they’re currently selling doesn’t allow the restaurant to pick amongst the best available servers, hosts, bartenders and the like.

    No disrespect to anyone who has worked at a place like this. They’re great for a college student, they’re also nice because it’s relatively easy to get a job. I’m not belittling any position there. At least I do not mean to.

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  9. melissa

    Tango said he was sitting at the bar at the TGIF in midtown Manhattan and not drinking anything. First off, if you are in NYC why in the hell are you in TGIFridays? I don’t think there is a city in America that doesn’t have better bar/grill options especially NYC. If you’ve chosen to go there you kind of get what you deserve in my opinion. I can think of really no scenario where you wouldn’t be better off going to an independent locally owned establishment instead of TGIF. I don’t think they are even replacement level since you could heat up the frozen TGIF apps at home and they would be equal to the restaurant.

    In TGIF’s defense, I’m sure the rent they pay on that space is astronomical and they have to have turnover. If you’re holding down a bar stool you’re going to have to be consuming something to expect otherwise is silly.

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  10. ZappBrannigan

    Berselius is right. You may even get your check and pay it, but the bartender or another server still has to pay attention and occasionally check on you. It also depends on what time it is. Is it somewhat slow and 5:30 pm? If so, you’re expecting to get busier and you need that seat. If it’s 10:00 pm then I doubt they’ve ever kicked anybody out like that.

    I CAN’T ARGUE WITH YOU TODAY.
    Seriously though, I can.

    Obviously at 5:30 you’re hoping people are going to be respectful and leave so you don’t have to kick them out. I’ve worked at a few TGI Friday type places, and in my experience during not-rush times, once people get their checks, the waitstaff all but ignores them until they leave. I see how it could be different from place to place though.

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  11. mb21

    I can think of really no scenario where you wouldn’t be better off going to an independent locally owned establishment instead of TGIF. I don’t think they are even replacement level since you could heat up the frozen TGIF apps at home and they would be equal to the restaurant.

    Great point. That’s something else I don’t think a lot of people consider. There is always a better option, especially in NYC. Not to mention, every time you go to a place like that you hurt a local restaurant whose ties to the community are far greater than a place like TGIF. But there is a place for TGIF. It just shouldn’t be as busy as it is. The number of local restaurants that have had to close because of those restaurants is depressing.

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  12. mb21

    [quote name=ZappBrannigan]I CAN’T ARGUE WITH YOU TODAY.
    Seriously though, I can.

    Obviously at 5:30 you’re hoping people are going to be respectful and leave so you don’t have to kick them out. I’ve worked at a few TGI Friday type places, and in my experience during not-rush times, once people get their checks, the waitstaff all but ignores them until they leave. I see how it could be different from place to place though.[/quote]I also don’t think there should necessarily be one rule as I may have implied or even stated in the post. The time of the visit is most important. I do have a hard time believing that any TGIF is going to kick out someone at 9:30 pm when the place isn’t busy. If TGIF did so in NYC, well, there’s probably busier TGIF on the planet.

    Most importantly, you are paying for service and the service paid for there isn’t very good. People shouldn’t be surprised that they don’t get good service when they’re paying $10 for a dinner.

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  13. mb21

    [quote name=Rice Cube]But…what about the pieces of flair?[/quote](dying laughing) I thought about mentioning that in the post.

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  14. Mercurial Outfielder

    I think we should just all get off Tango’s lawn so he and Andy Rooney can watch the squirrels nesting in the tree across the street.

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  15. mb21

    I can’t get over that image of the TGIF bar. It literally looks like it was built with legos. Not very good legos either.

    I didn’t remember it looking that bad. I haven’t been to a TGIF, Applebees or a place like that in years. We don’t have a TGIF here in Topeka and I think we’ve only been to Applebees once in the 9 years we’ve been here. If I’m traveling, there’s usually one of those chain Mexican joints and they’re not any different, but I like their food better.

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  16. melissa

    In my late teens and early 20s I worked in many different types of restaurants. As a former server, I would also add that if you have a limited number of tables in your section, you need turnover to make any money. Even a bartender works off tips and someone taking a stool for half an hour or more without buying anything and tipping is keeping you from earning money. I never ever asked a customer to leave but appreciated customers who understood this and would tip not only according to what they purchased but how long they were there. As a customer, I would never expect to be able to just take up space in a busy place without spending money. Go home and watch TV if you don’t want to spend money.

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  17. mb21

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I think we should just all get off Tango’s lawn so he and Andy Rooney can watch the squirrels nesting in the tree across the street.[/quote](dying laughing) I definitely don’t mean to attack Tango. I have nothing but the utmost respect for him and the work he’s done with sabermetrics. I just read this one and had too much to say to add it as a comment over there so you bastards are forced to read it.

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  18. Aisle424

    [quote name=mb21]That sucks. What kind of a severance package do I get?[/quote]
    We can offer you 100 faget points and you can keep the intellectual rights to “fuckfaces.”

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  19. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=mb21](dying laughing) I definitely don’t mean to attack Tango. I have nothing but the utmost respect for him and the work he’s done with sabermetrics. I just read this one and had too much to say to add it as a comment over there so you bastards are forced to read it.[/quote]I respect his work, but this some straight selfish, curmudgeonly tripe. I echo melissa’s point: I worked in a chain reastaurant, and people sitting and not eating or drinking are taking money out of my pocket. So, sir, if you’re not spending money, pretty please with sugar on top, haul your carcass the fuck out of my section. (dying laughing)

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  20. mb21

    [quote name=melissa]In my late teens and early 20s I worked in many different types of restaurants. As a former server, I would also add that if you have a limited number of tables in your section, you need turnover to make any money. Even a bartender works off tips and someone taking a stool for half an hour or more without buying anything and tipping is keeping you from earning money. I never ever asked a customer to leave but appreciated customers who understood this and would tip not only according to what they purchased but how long they were there. As a customer, I would never expect to be able to just take up space in a busy place without spending money. Go home and watch TV if you don’t want to spend money.[/quote]I’ve worked in my fair share of places not too different from a TGIF over the years too. I was cooking so what went on in the front didn’t matter to me one bit, but I heard many stories from angry servers and bartenders. Those just aren’t places you sit and visit after eating. The servers require their section to be turned over and if someone is sitting there that’s less money for them.

    In a place like Charlie Trotter’s or French Laundry, servers are only going to seat that table maybe twice per night at the most. The people who are in there will generally tip according to how long they’ve been waited on and not how much they spent. So if that server ends up seating that table once rather than twice he or she more than likely gets a tip comparable to what they’d have gotten were it seated twice. If not more because the amount of money spent on wine if you’re sitting around is likely to make the bill ridiculously large.

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  21. mb21

    [quote name=Aisle424]We can offer you 100 faget points and you can keep the intellectual rights to “fuckfaces.”[/quote]That is very generous. I would have been happy with 25 faget points, but I’m overwhelmed with 100 of them. I’ll clear out my desk in the morning.

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  22. Aisle424

    I’ve gone to bars to watch games and by the end, we are really not making it worth the establishment’s while for us to still be there, but we try to make up for it by tipping the server really well so at least they don’t lose the revenue.

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  23. mb21

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I respect his work, but this some straight selfish, curmudgeonly tripe. I echo melissa’s point: I worked in a chain reastaurant, and people sitting and not eating or drinking are taking money out of my pocket. So, sir, if you’re not spending money, pretty please with sugar on top, haul your carcass the fuck out of my section. (dying laughing)[/quote]I agree that it’s selfish. No doubt. I also think it’s an area he simply doesn’t have much understanding (like me with sabermetrics).

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  24. Aisle424

    [quote name=mb21]That is very generous. I would have been happy with 25 faget points, but I’m overwhelmed with 100 of them. I’ll clear out my desk in the morning.[/quote]
    Actually, AC will be there shortly to escort you out. Blog policy.

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  25. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=mb21]I’ve worked in my fair share of places not too different from a TGIF over the years too. I was cooking so what went on in the front didn’t matter to me one bit, but I heard many stories from angry servers and bartenders. Those just aren’t places you sit and visit after eating. The servers require their section to be turned over and if someone is sitting there that’s less money for them.

    In a place like Charlie Trotter’s or French Laundry, servers are only going to seat that table maybe twice per night at the most. The people who are in there will generally tip according to how long they’ve been waited on and not how much they spent. So if that server ends up seating that table once rather than twice he or she more than likely gets a tip comparable to what they’d have gotten were it seated twice. If not more because the amount of money spent on wine if you’re sitting around is likely to make the bill ridiculously large.[/quote]
    Exactly. You want to sit my section and futz around with whichever electronic device you’re tethered to? Fine. Order a Coke and tip me for the 4 tables I missed while you played Angry Birds.

    It’s also worth pointing out that servers at places like Trotter’s are encouraged to provide an experience and that often means keeping the people at the table eating, drinking, and having a good time, but I guarantee if Tango tried to sit out Trotter’s and not eat and drink, Charlie would waddle out and bounce his ass faster than he can fry an egg. (dying laughing)

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  26. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=mb21]I agree that it’s selfish. No doubt. I also think it’s an area he simply doesn’t have much understanding (like me with sabermetrics).[/quote]That’s fine, but try to at least imagine the plight of others. His complaint comes across as the most risibly self-serving thing I’ve read since the last Elmore Leonard novel.

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  27. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=bubblesdachimp]I would much rather see RUSIN UP TO START THEN RUSSELL[/quote]Why iS EVERYBODY SCREAMING?

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  28. bubblesdachimp

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Why iS EVERYBODY SCREAMING?[/quote]
    Sorry MO… Gucking caps locks

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  29. Rice Cube

    I usually tip upwards of 20% no matter where I go, mostly because I normally go to cheap places and I know the server doesn’t make a lot of money so I figure I shouldn’t be too much of an asshole.

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  30. ZappBrannigan

    [quote name=Rice Cube]I usually tip upwards of 20% no matter where I go, mostly because I normally go to cheap places and I know the server doesn’t make a lot of money so I figure I shouldn’t be too much of an asshole.[/quote]
    Same here. If you can’t afford to tip well you can’t afford to go out to eat.

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  31. Aisle424

    When I go to TGIF, I pay as much as I would at Charlie Trotter’s because I don’t want to be unfair to those that pay so much for their food.

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  32. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Aisle424]When I go to TGIF, I pay as much as I would at Charlie Trotter’s because I don’t want to be unfair to those that pay so much for their food.[/quote]

    Way to go, Al.

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  33. melissa

    [quote name=Aisle424]When I go to TGIF, I pay as much as I would at Charlie Trotter’s because I don’t want to be unfair to those that pay so much for their food.[/quote]
    (dying laughing)

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  34. ZappBrannigan

    [quote name=bubblesdachimp]Hayden Simpson is done after 3.2
    [/quote]
    God damnit, whenever someone says that name is reminds me of:

    Noooooooo

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  35. Rice Cube

    [quote name=ZappBrannigan]God damnit, whenever someone says that name is reminds me of:

    Noooooooo[/quote]
    They underestimate his power…

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  36. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Mish]^^^ Kosuke’s heatmap shows some amazing discipline.[/quote]Too bad the Cubs don’t value things that are actually valuable. The Cubs are the TGIF of baseball teams. (dying laughing)

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  37. Hector Villanueva

    [quote name=Mish]^^^ Kosuke’s heatmap shows some amazing discipline.[/quote]
    Great link.

    That actually is in tune with what I feel like I see. Kosuke really seems to have trouble making good contact with pitches that aren’t in the middle of the zone.

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  38. mb21

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Exactly. You want to sit my section and futz around with whichever electronic device you’re tethered to? Fine. Order a Coke and tip me for the 4 tables I missed while you played Angry Birds.

    It’s also worth pointing out that servers at places like Trotter’s are encouraged to provide an experience and that often means keeping the people at the table eating, drinking, and having a good time, but I guarantee if Tango tried to sit out Trotter’s and not eat and drink, Charlie would waddle out and bounce his ass faster than he can fry an egg. (dying laughing)[/quote]Definitely. The atmosphere is something that’s built into the price of the food and drinks. People are encouraged to sit around, and drink of course. Even if they chose not to, you’re going to let them sit there because part of the built-in service is enjoying the dinner and that may mean a table sits there a few hours longer than others would. But any party doing that would tip appropriately.

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  39. bubblesdachimp

    Recap of the minors performances when i get to work at 7AM tomorrow..

    BUBBLES out FUCKFACES!!!!

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  40. WaLi

    [quote name=bubblesdachimp]Recap of the minors performances when i get to work at 7AM tomorrow..

    BUBBLES out FUCKFACES!!!![/quote]
    No one was reading your shit anyways.

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  41. Aisle424

    [quote name=Rice Cube](dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)

    Is that on sale now?[/quote]
    Of course. If it doesn’t show up in the shop for you right away, check again later.

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  42. Hector Villanueva

    [quote name=Rice Cube](dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)

    Is that on sale now?[/quote]
    I would pay someone to buy that shirt and wear it in the Left Field corner bleachers.

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  43. Urk

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I respect his work, but this some straight selfish, curmudgeonly tripe. I echo melissa’s point: I worked in a chain reastaurant, and people sitting and not eating or drinking are taking money out of my pocket. So, sir, if you’re not spending money, pretty please with sugar on top, haul your carcass the fuck out of my section. (dying laughing)[/quote]
    I’ve worked in more independent restaurants than chains, but the overall logic is mostly the same. I think that most indie restaurants (that aren’t pricey enough that a meal earns you all night sitting privileges) will go to great pains to not ask you to leave, but will make it damn obvious by ignoring your ass after you’ve worn out your welcome. Usually there’s like a slowish tapering off of service and attention. Even at a place like TGIF they almost certainly give you the vibe for a little while before saying anything. Makes me wonder how long Tango was sitting there not getting it before they said anything.

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  44. Horny Goat

    I thought this was going to be about our fast food nation too. I could go on a big rant but since I gave up that shit months ago my mind and body is so at peace I can’t even muster the negative energy anymore 🙂

    The last time I ate it was “5 Guys”… about 5 months ago. My doctor and me have been very pleased with the lab work since then. It’s awesome to prepare and eat real food again. I can actually watch the Cubs now without throwing the remote at the wall.

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  45. AndCounting

    I love this post, mb, great work. It’s pretty funny you were hesitant to post it for it being irrelevant, since it probably has the highest percentage of on-topic comments of any post on this blog.

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  46. Berselius

    [quote name=AndCounting]I love this post, mb, great work. It’s pretty funny you were hesitant to post it for it being irrelevant, since it probably has the highest percentage of on-topic comments of any post on this blog.[/quote]
    false.

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  47. AndCounting

    [quote name=Berselius]false.[/quote](dying laughing)
    You and I don’t often disagree, but on this, you are exactly incorrect.

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  48. Suburban kid

    [quote name=mb21]I can’t get over that image of the TGIF bar. It literally looks like it was built with legos. Not very good legos either.

    [/quote]Replacement level legos?

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  49. bubblesdachimp

    Minors Recap 4-7-11

    Iowa isnt going to be that exciting this year. Hard to get excited abou the likes of Augie Ojeda and Bryan Lahair. However they might hit. They won 12-9 last night over the Rangers AAA team. I am going to ignore Bobby Scales since he has 0 future with this team unless the big league charter explodes Key performers:

    Lou Montanez (3-5) 2 triples
    Bryan Lahair (1-4) HR(1)
    Marquez Smith 2-4 2RBI
    Ty Wright (3-4) HR (1) 3 RBI
    Thomas Diamond 4IP 3H 3BB 5K 2R 2ER
    Caridad: Blew cock
    Gaub: Struck out the side but gave up two runs
    Maine: 0 runs 1 inning 1 k for the save!

    AA

    This is where the majority of the big name prospects are. I mean legit all of our major prospects are here.. They did well for the most part tonight. Won 12-4

    Brett Jackson (2-4) 1b, 3b, 2BB’s, K, 2RBI
    Ryan Flaherty (2-3) 2 1B, 2 RBI, 1 BB
    The DJ 0-4
    Matt Spencer (3-5) HR (1) Don’t know how I feel about him. He seems like he has solid power. Hes 23 or 24… Had solid #’s last year.
    Vitters 3-5 with a double (5 pitches seen total)
    Rebel (2-4) HR (1) Gotta love someone named Rebel
    Rusin 5IP 4H 3R 3ER 1BB 4K
    Sommer (I like him) .1 iK

    High A

    Really no one here outside of Junior Lake that I care about too much. Won 3-2

    Logan Watkins 2-4 with a BB
    Matt Cerda 3-5 with a double and 2 RBIs
    Beef Castle 0-4
    Junior Lake 2-4 with a Run and a K
    Michael Burgess 1-4 with a Homerun (1)
    Whitenack 5IP 5H 2 ER 3 K
    Beliveau 1 IP 1 h 2K

    Low A (The performance of the night is here IMO) They were rained out

    Matt Szczur (1-4) with a double and a K
    Hayden Simpson 3.1 IP 7 K 1R 1 ER 1 BB 3 H (Great debut)

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  50. Dr. Aneus Taint

    I hope I don’t get fired by Tim, Adam and Berselius for writing a post that is only loosely tied to sports, but after reading a couple threads on the fantastic The Book Blog over the last week, I’m going to do it. The first thread I’m not going to bother looking for as it was mostly about fast food. The most recent thread though, that’s what I want to talk about. It’s about the dilly-dallyers in restaurants and how those establishments deal with those people.

    First of all, I worked in the food industry for a long time. I graduated from Scottsdale Culinary Institute in 1998 and worked in several higher end restaurants around the country after that. I owned a restaurant that failed. I was part-owner of another and have since sold. The types of restaurants I was affiliated with served high quality food. It came with significantly higher priced items on the menu.

    Tom Tango is saying that he shouldn’t be run out of a restaurant if he’s dilly-dallying. I had initially started to repond in the comments there on two different occasions, but my comment became long and not as organized as I would like. I organized my thoughts a little more and decided to write it here.

    The restaurant that Tango is speaking of is TGIF. He bought a dinner for $10 and some drinks and was told to leave after he hadn’t been a paying customer for awhile. The commenters were quick to compare how restaurants in Europe respond to this (they don’t bring your check until you ask for it), but this misses the point. I’m also afraid that Tango doesn’t recognize the service he is paying for at a place like TGIF (insert Applebee’s, Denny’s, or whatever other chain restaurant you want here).

    Those places are profitable becasue of the turnover. They get you in and get you out. The fact the server is there so quickly after you get your menus and that your food comes almost instantly after you order is evidence of this. They want you to eat and leave. It’s not because they just want your money. It’s because in order to offer that same food at the affordable price it is, they have to do so much volume.

    Think about McDonald’s for a moment. If there was no drive through and people took 2 hours to eat inside, what is McDonald’s going to do? They will either close or raise the prices at which point nobody could justify spending that kind of money for that kind of food. Then they’d close.

    It’s the same thing at TGIF. They can offer the food they do at the affordable prices because they’re going to seat that very table 5 to 8 times in one night. Maybe even more than that if they get them in and out as fast as they’d like. That’s how they offer those dinners at $10.

    Tango also brought up some math about him returning and it was a justification. It was well done and it’s the reason I go to that blog in the first place. But, a TGIF manager sees thousands of customers each week. He can’t possibly be thinking to himself, “OK, this guy paid this much, sat around this long, the result is he’s paying as much as someone who doesn’t dilly dally.” Can’t be done. Not in the short amount of time a manager or other employee has to figure this out. He’s not going to break out a calculator and he or she is probably unlikely to be able to figure it out without doing so. However, if you really do go to the same restaurant once a week, they aren’t going to tell you leave shortly after you’re done. If you sit there for 4 to 6 hours they might, but certainly not if you’re just wanting to stay there for another 30 minutes.

    The service that people pay for at those restaurants are numerous. It’s all built into the cost of the food and we know they sell $10 dinners. As a result, we know that all of their services are done with as little money spent doing them. This is true across the board. Everything in those restaurants is made in a way that they can serve that kind of a meal for that cost. They spend as little money on food, preparations, cleanliness, servers, bar-staff, carpet, wood floors, decor and even the toilets themselves are cheap. They use cheap cleaning supplies. Their tables and chairs are cheap. The paint is cheap. The woodwork is cheap. Their bar stools are cheap. The bar itself is cheap. Everything.

    To show this, I searched TGIF bar on google images and this was the first one I found.

    That’s like a freaking circus. Seriously, I think I’ve seen circuses with less color. That is an awful bar. Everything in it is the lowest quality imaginable. That looks like something made with colored legos and I’m guessing it doesn’t look much better in person. Compare that one to this one.

    Notice the quality difference between the two photos above. If you’ve been to the place where the bottom picture was taken, you’ll feel like you’re slumming it if you go into the place where the first picture was taken. In every single way. There is nothing superior in quality in that TGIF image than the lower one. The design in one has a color for everyone. The design in the second one is elegant and beautiful. Notice the cheap separation between bar and tables at TGIF. Not so cheap in the other. Quite expensive actually. The top place spared cost everywhere possible while the second one spared none. Down to every little detail, the bar in the second picture out-spent the first one. There are many, many bars in fine restaurants that are much more extravagant than that one. I showed that one for its simplicity.

    Take a look at the food from the same restaurants.

    What the fuck? I can actually count the visible pieces of parsley (I doubt they’d use basil, too expensive). There’s one way over to the left, another two at the bottom, two on the chunk of food and then a larger chunk on top of another. Speaking of chunk of food, what the hell is that? It’s a 100% guarantee that it came frozen, breaded and ready to be dropped into a fryer. No clue what it is though. I could take the very same stuff on that plate and make it look it somewhat edible. Compare that to this image.

    That’s just a soup, but notice the attention to detail that lacks in the first one. When this soup was arranged, it was done so with with pride. Somebody wanted to serve something that someone else would fall in love with when they first saw it. The garnish makes it appear as though it’s flowing around the bowl. The towers are wrapped in in some sort of green, but still standing. I suggest you try to do that at home. You’ll get frustrated and quit.

    The difference between these restaurants is ridiculous. In one of them you’ll be asked to leave once you stop being a paying customer. In the other that won’t happen. You’re paying for something entirely different if you go to a place like that.

    Instead of paying for the minimal amount of detail to everything possible like at TGIF, these places pay an enormous amount of detail to every single thing they do. You are paying for that attention. You are paying for the atmosphere. You’re paying to seated comfortably and taken well care of. You’re paying so you can dilly dally if you want.

    When I started thinking more about this, the more I realized that a TGIF (and all the others) are really nothing but a replacement level restaurant. A replacement level player in sports provide the minimum amount of production for the minimum salary. When a player gets injured and you call a guy up from AAA, you’re not expecting much or any positive production from the player. If he was capable of that, he’d probably have already been up on the team. That’s not always true of course, but in general it is. The Cubs had two pitchers go on the DL yesterday and the typical replacement level pitchers have replaced them in the rotation until they are healthy.

    In sports, we compare players to that replacement level because that is the player that would replace them. Replacment level is worse than average. If you look at the talent curve in baseball or any sport
    , you’ll see there aren’t all that many players who are average or better.

    This concept can be used in a variety of ways. I’m not sure a replacement level restaurant really exists, but when you think about what you expect from a replacement level athlete and what goes into creating a TGIF, you can’t help but see how damn similar the two are. To be honest, my expectations are very similar too. I wouldn’t expect much if I went to TGIF, but I’d have very high expectations in the other place.

    TGIF provides the minimum amount of comfort and quality. In return, you pay little money for that food and all the services that come with it. It’s not good service. It’s not good food either. It’s an acceptable place to eat for many reasons. Traveling is one. They’re often located so close to hotels and people are less familiar with the area and tend to prefer a meal they’re familiar with. TGIF offers a wide variety of food. Ever sat around on a Saturday knowing your hungry, but don’t know what you want to eat? TGIF is great for that. I think they plan to have every cuisine represented on their menu in the near future. It seems like they already do. Don’t want to get dressed up? Or even cleaned up? TGIF is there.

    However, if you do know what kind of food you want, there are many places that serve that same food at a much higher quality. Some of those places aren’t even more expensive than TGIF. If you are familiar with the city you are in, you surely know of several restaurants that serve superior food. Many of them sell their food at the same cost too. If you do want to get cleaned up after working in the yard or even dressed up, there are much better places to relax and have a nice dinner than the circus that TGIF is.

    TGIF is a replacement level restaurant because there are a number of reasons why you may choose to eat there, but few of them will ever have to do with the quality of their food, service and hospitality. As a replacement level restaurant, TGIF has to be more strict with their customers. They can’t take the time to figure out who spent what and how often they spent it. They’re too busy for that. They have a one size fits all rule book. Those rules include that all people inside the establishment must be a paying customer. If at some point you are no longer payiing customer, they should kick you out. There are likely several other people waiting in line anyway and nothing is more frustrating to someone in line than seeing someone sitting around not eating or drinking. I’ll guarantee more people have left those lines because of that than people who have not returned becasue they were asked to leave when they were no longer a paying customer. I’ll also guarantee far more people have left the line to eat elsewhere than the people who won’t return. For those who do not return, it just means that one of those who left for another restaurant will remain in the line.

    If TGIF is a replacement level restaurant you may be wondering what McDonalds is. Mcdonald’s is Koyie Hill or Jeff Samardzija. TGIF is Darwin Barney. The other restaurant is this one.

    So basically Tom Tango and TGIF are fagets.

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  51. Mish

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]So basically Tom Tango and TGIF are fagets.[/quote]
    You and I don’t agree often, but, on this, correct.

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  52. Mish

    Just saw this on Facebook and I’m pretty sure it’s wrong, right?

    “Ken Rosenthal says Silva has several offers & will pick soon. Cubs will owe him nearly all of $11.5M salary; new team will pay pro-rated minimum.”

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  53. Mish

    Tennessee Smokies—Double-A (Chicago Cubs) The Smokies have a nice balance of pitching and hitting prospects, including four of the Cubs’ best. Their starting rotation will include Rafael Dolis and Trey McNutt, the latter fresh off a breakout year that saw him shoot up the prospect lists and establish himself as a legitimate part of the Cubs’ future. The Smokies lineup will include Brett Jackson, who spent half of 2010 in Tennessee and may not be there for long, and Josh Vitters, the former third overall pick (2007) who also got more than 200 at-bats in Double-A last season but enters a make-or-break year, having failed to live up to expectations so far.

    http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/article/prospect-three-day-weekend5/

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  54. Dr. Aneus Taint

    What the fuck is Michael Burgess doing back at A+? And why the fuck is Junior Lake hitting 9th at A+? And why the fuck hasn’t bigfoot been promoted to A+?

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  55. WaLi

    I just want to thank this site for only one thing. Introducing me to R-B, Rebecca Black. Thank you for this. Now I wake up my household every Friday morning by blasting Fried Eggs through the stereo before I leave to work. My house has never been happier.

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  56. bubblesdachimp

    I really cant tell if Rebecca Black is a good singer or not. I mean there is a lot of evidence that says no. But then again in the unplugged version she isnt bad. Pretty much i have analyzed and watched that video over 100 times and it si how i start off every Friday

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  57. bubblesdachimp

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]What the fuck is Michael Burgess doing back at A+? And why the fuck is Junior Lake hitting 9th at A+? And why the fuck hasn’t bigfoot been promoted to A+?[/quote]
    Lot of good questions here….

    Lake should be 3rd

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  58. Dr. Aneus Taint

    The more I think about this, the more sense it makes. Why not Kerry Wood? Three times in three weeks, give him the ball and let him start.
    — Alvin

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  59. mb21

    [quote name=AndCounting]I love this post, mb, great work. It’s pretty funny you were hesitant to post it for it being irrelevant, since it probably has the highest percentage of on-topic comments of any post on this blog.[/quote]I’m pretty sure that’s because it had nothing to do with the Cubs and hadn’t been discussed here before. That’s the benefit of doing a post like this. The problem with doing a lot of them is that people stop coming back. (dying laughing)

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  60. mb21

    [quote name=Mish]Just saw this on Facebook and I’m pretty sure it’s wrong, right?

    “Ken Rosenthal says Silva has several offers & will pick soon. Cubs will owe him nearly all of $11.5M salary; new team will pay pro-rated minimum.”[/quote]Yeah, the Cubs pay the entire salary minus the league minimum. Since he’s yet to sign, the team who signed him would only pay a portion of the league minimum and the Cubs pick up the rest.

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  61. mb21

    Kerry Wood in the rotation makes perfect sense for this organization. He hasn’t started since 2006 and even then he made only 4 of them. He’s made 14 starts over the last 7 years so yeah, rotation test is coming.

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  62. Mish

    So bullpen arms get the rotation test and starters get the bullpen test? I realize this is Al and not the Cubs but still.

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  63. mb21

    I just can’t imagine a grown man looking over Kerry Wood’s history and coming to the conclusion that making him a starter is a good idea. If he’d started even in 2009 I could somewhat see the argument, but we’re talking about 4 starts in 2006, 10 in 2005.

    If Kerry Wood is an option, Carlos Marmol is a better one. For many, many reasons.

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  64. mb21

    Not to mention that Kerry Wood hasn’t managed to pitch an entire season (as a starter or reliever) since 2003. Every year since he’s been injured in one way or another. The answer to avoiding such injuries is to give him more innings and pitches than he can obviously handle.

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  65. mb21

    You’re probably going to get 60 innings out of Wood this season and no more than 60. So I guess I don’t really care how those 60 innings come, but if the idea is to keep him healthy, then you obviously do not put the man in the rotation. Here’s an extensive list of idea that are dumber than that:

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  66. cdw

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]
    I swear he reads this site and puts shit up just to keep us going back.[/quote]
    If not for Al’s long history of stupidity I would say this is a troll job. I would feel better about humanity if Al starts working “magnets” and “mormons” into his blog posts.

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  67. Suburban kid

    It might just be crazy enough to work… I think you’re on to something Al.

    We’ll all miss you Ron.
    by alkappy on Apr 8, 2011 8:10 AM CDT reply actions

    (dying laughing)

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  68. GBTS

    Kerry Wood pitching as a starter for only a $1M salary would be unfair to starting pitchers across baseball who get paid much much more.

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  69. cdw

    You lost me there. That is just crazy.. I think you’re on something Al.

    We’ll all miss you Ron.
    by alkappy on Apr 8, 2011 8:10 AM CDT reply actions

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  70. Suburban kid

    I love Al’s reasoning.

    “Why not try this? Five innings, three times in three weeks? Why couldn’t he do that?”

    It’s right up there with “kept some guys … let’s see what happens.”

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  71. Aisle424

    The line between Al’s line of thinking and the Cubs’ line of thinking is getting far too blurry for my comfort.

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  72. GBTS

    [quote name=cdw]If not for Al’s long history of stupidity I would say this is a troll job. I would feel better about humanity if Al starts working “magnets” and “mormons” into his blog posts.[/quote]Al has been trolling his own blog for years.

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  73. Aisle424

    [quote name=Mish]Al should go die in a fire and see what happens.[/quote]
    This would make an excellent t-shirt.

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  74. AndCounting

    You know whose arm could handle 5 innings a week? Alfonso Soriano. He’s never suffered an injury as a starting pitcher. Never given up a run. He won’t have to pick up the balls that get past Marlon Byrd. It’s so crazy, it just might work.

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  75. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Mish]Al should go stick his head in his ass and see if it fits.[/quote]
    /Tony Montana

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  76. dylanj

    thats all good and well md but sometimes i enjoy a meal at applebee’s. you can’t explain that

    shorthopped#

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  77. bubblesdachimp

    Well the positive of this thought process is we would have transitioned from the bullpen test to the starting test.. But this is just fucking retarded.

    Its times like this i wish i could go 5 minutes without getting banned cause i would have fun.. However i cant post for three days so no reason to register another alter

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  78. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]What the fuck is Michael Burgess doing back at A+? And why the fuck is Junior Lake hitting 9th at A+? And why the fuck hasn’t bigfoot been promoted to A+?[/quote]Because it’s the Cubs, and if they aren’t fucking something up, they aren’t doing anything at all.

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  79. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=Aisle424]The line between Al’s line of thinking and the Cubs’ line of thinking is getting far too blurry for my comfort.[/quote]Well, the well-heeled version of Al owns the team now, so this should come as no surprise.

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  80. cdw

    [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Because it’s the Cubs, and if they aren’t fucking something up, they aren’t doing anything at all.[/quote]
    (dying laughing), futility. Cubs are the retarded cousins of the SEC.

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  81. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=dylanj]al is just trolling now.

    starting kerry fucking wood. thats weak.[/quote]Yeah, he’s been pulling this shit for a long time.

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  82. dylanj

    so i checked out charlie trotters website. i like to think that im a smart guy who keeps his mouth closed to breath and appreciates culture but i gotta admit I don’t know what half the shit is on that menu (dying laughing).

    time to take my ass down to TGIF for some Awesome Jalapeño Flavor Poppers.

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  83. Mercurial Outfielder

    [quote name=dylanj]so i checked out charlie trotters website. i like to think that im a smart guy who keeps his mouth closed to breath and appreciates culture but i gotta admit I don’t know what half the shit is on that menu (dying laughing).

    time to take my ass down to TGIF for some Awesome Jalapeño Flavor Poppers.[/quote]That’s the great thing about a palce like Trotter’s though. If you don’t know, you can always ask the servers. They’ve usually done extensive tastings with the chefs and have been taught the ingredients and preparations. Part of what they’re expected to do is be conversant with the guests about them.

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  84. GBTS

    Is it possible that Alvin is smart enough that by titling the post “A Modest Proposal” it’s meant to be entirely satirical?

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  85. mb21

    Chili’s, TGIF, Applebee’s, Denny’s, they’re all the same. They all spend a minimum amount of money on everything possible and as a result provide the minimum amount of services.

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