How can you tell the difference between our local mainstream media writers and meatball sports radio callers? That’s not the start of a joke, I’m seriously asking.
Obviously, those of us who are even dimly aware of the NFL probably know by now that Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos overcame incredible odds and adversity to defeat the Chicago Bears yesterday. Of course, what actually happened was a sequence of events that were so unlikely that I have to start believing that God actually does prefer Tim Tebow.
I don’t want to rehash them all, but two of the biggest and most inexplicable occurrences involved Marion Barber. First, he ran out of bounds on a second down run that stopped the clock with under two minutes to play. That saved the Broncos about 40 seconds of time that was crucial since they had no timeouts left. Then after allowing the game to be tied, he fumbled after getting into Robbie Gould’s field goal range in overtime.
So he’s a pretty big goat today. Everybody hates Marion Barber. He is getting called all sorts of names by all sorts of people.
Enter the Chicago Tribune to add some perspective to the situation. As a venerable institution of journalism, surely they will raise the level of discourse surrounding a loss that has everybody ranting like a lunatic. Or they’ll drag some innocent schlub who never asked to be famous or infamous back out into the public eye for another round of mocking.

HA HA HA HA HA HA! Get it? Because Marion BARBER sounds very similar to Marion BARTMAN and because Steve Bartman, as a member of the Cubs, once ignored an entire lifetime of coaching and touched a foul ball that was totally catchable by another member of his team, and then he dropped a sure double play ball while playing shortstop. Get it? The two things are TOTALLY THE SAME!
Now, some will say that it’s just a tweet. It isn’t written in the newspaper or anything, so what’s the big deal about mocking a guy who literally has never done anything wrong, but has still had his life threatened by numerous members of our city?
OK, fine. One member of the media lashed out in a heat-of-the-moment situation. Shit happens, right?

Oh good. Validation from another member of the mainstream media. These are guys that mock callers on the radio or fans who blog or tweet their emotions about their favorite teams, and here they are giving the meatballs kindling, lighter fluid, and a flame-thrower to play with. Fantastic. Well played, gentlemen.
But it is still just Twitter. These guys tweet their own feelings and it doesn’t necessarily reflect their positions as journalists or the institutions for which they apply their craft, right?
If Bears running back Marion Bartman, I mean Barber, doesn’t run out of bounds to save the Broncos 35 seconds with two minutes left, Tim Tebow’s time probably would have run out before he could lead a game-tying drive.
So says David Haugh, in his piece that ran in the actual Chicago Tribune. At this point, I don’t know whether I am offended as a sports fan that this is the level of commentary that is being provided by our local writers, or that such a stupid joke was viewed by someone as funny enough to plagiarize from a colleague. Seriously, that joke isn’t exactly “The Seven Dirty Words You Can’t Say on Television” or “Who’s on First.”
If you’re going to publicly trample on a guy who was probably just sitting at home staring at the TV in amazement along with the rest of us, the least you could do is actually be funny and/or original about it. Sadly, that was neither.
But I guess that is just asking too much of the Chicago Enquirer, I mean Tribune, and David Hitler, I mean Haugh. See what I did there?





[quote name=ACT]Ah, I should have read that more carefully. I was just reading the list without reading the description. Sorry for getting everyone’s hopes up. He’ll probably be non-tendered, though.[/quote]Cold feeling in pit of my stomach —-> returned
I feel bad for Marion Barber, so I’m glad the Chicago media gives me someone else to direct my ire toward. Well done, Sully, indeed.
Paul Sullivan is filthy piece of garbage unfit to lick the syphilitic remains from the floor of a Thai brothel the day after a ship pulls in. The best use of this pint-sized shitheel would be to use his rotund carcass as target practice for police dogs.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Paul Sullivan is filthy piece of garbage unfit to lick the syphilitic remains from the floor of a Thai brothel the day after a ship pulls in. The best use of this pint-sized shitheel would be to use his rotund carcass as target practice for police dogs.[/quote]
MO ——–> not a fan
If I were Bartman, I’d sue the ever-living piss out of the Tribune for this.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]If I were Bartman, I’d sue the ever-living piss out of the Tribune for this.[/quote]I think Bartman is a bigger person than the Hobbits that inhabit the Chicago media will ever be.
So ACT pulled a December Fool’s joke on us eh.
[quote name=Rice Cube]I think Bartman is a bigger person than the Hobbits that inhabit the Chicago media will ever be.[/quote]Probably so.
Not all will be doom and gloom in STL post-Pujols:
http://www.beyondtheboxscore.com/2011/12/12/2629168/a-graphic-look-at-replacing-runs-in-fa-st-louis-cardinals
The difference in wRC is astonishing.
ACT Bartman
Look who might be available…
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/12/12/zack-greinke-has-left-his-agent-for-no-one/
[quote name=GBTS]ACT Bartman[/quote]Get Bartman To Sullivan
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Paul Sullivan is filthy piece of garbage unfit to lick the syphilitic remains from the floor of a Thai brothel the day after a ship pulls in. The best use of this pint-sized shitheel would be to use his rotund carcass as target practice for police dogs.[/quote]Why do you hate police dogs?
This makes me want to puke.
http://live.advancednflstats.com/index.php?gameid1=2011121111
[quote name=AndCounting]Why do you hate police dogs?[/quote]Because Rick Perry told me that true Americans hold unpopular opinions.
[quote name=WaLi]This makes me want to puke.
http://live.advancednflstats.com/index.php?gameid1=2011121111/quoteNope. Not gonna read that.
Todd Haley ———–> shitcan
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Todd Haley ———–> shitcan[/quote]He got fired for only beating Caleb Hanie by 7.
(dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing)

[quote name=GBTS]He got fired for only beating Caleb Hanie by 7.[/quote]OTOH, he didn’t need two massive mistakes by one player to beat Hanie.
It just being on twitter would be relevant to me if these same people didn’t lash out at athletes who just tweet their own feelings. I hate the Chicago media. Glad I’m not a Bears fan right now.
[quote name=mb21]It just being on twitter would be relevant to me if these same people didn’t lash out at athletes who just tweet their own feelings. I hate the Chicago media. Glad I’m not a Bears fan right now.[/quote]
I agree, but a lot of people don’t, so I conceded the point and they still went out of bounds.
Aramis ——–> Brewers
[quote name=Aisle424]I agree, but a lot of people don’t, so I Tebowed and they went out of bounds by the sheer force of my devotion.[/quote].
[quote name=Aisle424]Aramis ——–> Brewers[/quote]Woah. That is unexpected. Guess that means the Casey McGehee experiment is over.
[quote name=Aisle424]Aramis ——–> Brewers[/quote]Not pulling an ACT?
[quote name=Aisle424]I agree, but a lot of people don’t, so I conceded the point and they still went out of bounds.[/quote]Yeah, I knew that, but I wanted to highlight the biggest reason why I think what these guys say on twitter is bullshit.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Woah. That is unexpected. Guess that means the Casey McGehee experiment is over.[/quote]They’d been working on a deal for awhile now. Wonder how much money he’s getting.
[quote name=mb21]Yeah, I knew that, but I wanted to highlight the biggest reason why I think what these guys say on twitter is bullshit.[/quote]NOt to mention that Sullivan pulls the same shit in print, so it’s ot like he recognizes some distinction between the two media.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Not pulling an ACT?[/quote]
Only Bruce Levine is reporting it at the moment (on Waddle & Silvy)
[quote name=Aisle424]Only Bruce Levine is reporting it at the moment (on Waddle & Silvy)[/quote]Glad at least one Chicago media guy is doing his job.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]NOt to mention that Sullivan pulls the same shit in print, so it’s ot like he recognizes some distinction between the two media.[/quote]
Sure, but people still distinguish the two differently and make excuses when whatever is inappropriate is on Twitter. I just wasn’t interested in fighting that fight today.
[quote name=Aisle424]Aramis ——–> Brewers[/quote]
ouch. i was hoping he’d get signed by an AL team. (dying laughing)
McGehee ——-> 1B?
[quote name=Aisle424]Sure, but people still distinguish the two differently and make excuses when whatever is inappropriate is on Twitter. I just wasn’t interested in fighting that fight today.[/quote]Fair enough.
[quote name=AndCounting]McGehee ——-> 1B?[/quote]Don’t they have a power hitting prospect that bombed in the OF and they were talking about moving him to 1B?
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Fair enough.[/quote]
Especially since I didn’t get advanced permission to mock it.
[quote name=AndCounting]McGehee ——-> bagging groceries?[/quote].
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Don’t they have a power hitting prospect that bombed in the OF and they were talking about moving him to 1B?[/quote]I think that was Mat Gamel.
Who’s worse defensively at 3B, Ramirez or McGehee?
[quote name=Rice Cube]
Who’s worse defensively at 3B, Ramirez or McGehee?[/quote]
Yes.
[quote name=Aisle424]Especially since I didn’t get advanced permission to mock it.[/quote]Better watch out. His GOOD FRIEND may come looking for you, afraid that you may jeopardize another opportunity to buy him a drink.
Another MLBTR blurb said the Brewers signed Travis Ishikawa so there’s their 1B…
[quote name=Aisle424]Only Bruce Levine is reporting it at the moment (on Waddle & Silvy)[/quote]
If a member of the Chicago media is breaking a story, does this mean that the Milwaukee media is worse than the Chicago media???
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Don’t they have a power hitting prospect that bombed in the OF and they were talking about moving him to 1B?[/quote]Aye, Mat Gamel. His star was rising a few years ago but he’s been utterly putrid in his MLB promotions. He could probably end up with the 1b job by default but the brewers have no plans to build around him anymore.
[quote name=Berselius]Aye, Mat Gamel. His star was rising a few years ago but he’s been utterly putrid in his MLB promotions. He could probably end up with the 1b job by default but the brewers have no plans to build around him anymore.[/quote]Ah, yeah, that’s the guy.
Anyone still need Xmas gift ideas?
http://www.amazon.com/BeerBelly-200-001-80-Ounce-Beer-Belly/dp/B001RB2CXY/ref=pd_sim_k_12
[quote name=Aisle424]Aramis ——–> Brewers[/quote]
Good riddance, we got a white guy to play 3rd now.
I saw that an AL team, I think the Angels or Rangers, was looking at McGeehee as a trade target.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Anyone still need Xmas gift ideas?
http://www.amazon.com/BeerBelly-200-001-80-Ounce-Beer-Belly/dp/B001RB2CXY/ref=pd_sim_k_12/quoteThat reminds me, I need to send a Grantland Quarterly to MO before it’s too late. Merry Christmas, MO!
(dying laughing), Boras was looking for a 10 year deal for Fielder. No wonder he hasn’t signed.
3 years for Rodrigo
[quote name=Berselius]That reminds me, I need to send a Grantland Quarterly to MO before it’s too late. Merry Christmas, MO![/quote]I’ll use it weight my feet when I hang myself after realizing how rich Bill Simmons has gotten.
[quote name=8volumesthick]Good riddance, we got a white guy to play 3rd now.[/quote]DAT GUY PLAYZ DA GAME DA RIGHT WAY. BLUE KAWLER GUY.
[quote name=Berselius](dying laughing), Boras was looking for a 10 year deal for Fielder. No wonder he hasn’t signed.[/quote]Ye gods, man. Look your client, Scott. The shadow of his ass weighs 20 lbs. Nobody is going to guarantee 10 years to a portly position player in the current economic climate.
[quote name=AndCounting]McGehee ——-> 1B?[/quote]He’s almost big enough to fill the hole.
[quote name=Berselius]3 years for Rodrigo[/quote]Boras would have wanted 10 years.
I think Boras should tell GMs he wants 10 years for all his clients.
Ramirez is probably the worse fielder. I highly doubt there’s a worse defensive 3rd baseman in the game. He makes up for it with his offense, but then subtracts even more when he gets on base.
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/12/12/report-brewers-agree-to-three-year-deal-with-aramis-ramirez/
The comments make me sad.
Maybe playing in a domed environment during the winter months will help his numbers a bit as most people complain about his slow starts.
Aramis jersey shirt —–> retired
[quote name=jtsunami]Aramis jersey shirt —–> burned up in front of my double-wide[/quote]
/Cardinal fan’d
Ryno, the new truck is really nice. Hope you got a good deal on it:
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Ryno, the new truck is really nice. Hope you got a good deal on it:
[/quote]I don’t sell drugs??? Damn! (dying laughing)
It’s reported to be 3 years and about 33 mil. He should have no trouble out-performing that contract.
[quote name=Rodrigo Ramirez]It’s reported to be 3 years and about 33 mil. I should have no trouble out-performing that contract.[/quote]
/meta’d
look away! (dying laughing)
I didn’t realize how steep the cliff was that McGehee fell off of. Wow.
[quote name=AndCounting]I feel bad for Marion Barber, so I’m glad the Chicago media gives me someone else to direct my ire toward. Well done, Sully, indeed.[/quote]
I’d feel bad if he didn’t hold the NFL record by a wide margin for celebrating meaningless runs of 10 yards or less.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Ryno, the new truck is really nice. Hope you got a good deal on it:
[/quote]
Better the DEA after me than local homicide.
[quote name=Rodrigo Ramirez]It’s reported to be 3 years and about 33 mil. He should have no trouble out-performing that contract.[/quote]When I calculated his value after the season I got about 3 years and $24 million.
[quote name=mb21]When I calculated his value after the season I got about 3 years and $24 million.[/quote]So your calcs figured he’d be worth 6-7 WAR over that span, and he’s being paid for 8-9 WAR?
You couldn’t fill a thimble with the things about which Skip Bayless has been right.
[quote name=mb21]When I calculated his value after the season I got about 3 years and $24 million.[/quote]
Oh, I would have thought he could exceed 2-2.5 WAR each year.
CAIRO has him at 3 WAR while Oliver has him at 1.2 WAR. Split the difference and you get 2.1 WAR. Start at $5 million per win and increase by 5%. You get 3 years and $25 million.
CAIRO would pay him 3 years and $39 million. Oliver would pay him 3 years and $11 million. Actually, Oliver would pay him about $6 million for one year.
Using the same $5 million per win (5% inflation) it appears as though the Brewers valued him at 2.7 WAR in 2012.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]So your calcs figured he’d be worth 6-7 WAR over that span, and he’s being paid for 8-9 WAR?[/quote]Yeah, basically. Too lazy to look up where I calculated that a month or so ago, but using the average of CAIRO and Oliver you get a total of 4.8 WAR. The Brewers are paying for 6.6.
Those numbers are based on the assumption that the win costs $5 million and there is 5% inflation. I’m going to use those numbers from now on when doing projections.
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
Chris Paul trade to the Clippers has been killed too.
Using a 4-year weighted average you get 2.7 rWAR and 2.5 fWAR. That doesn’t include aging. The average of 2.6 would drop to 2.1. This is the laziest possible projection, but it’s actually pretty close to what CAIRO/Oliver average have.
[quote name=GBTS](dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
Chris Paul trade to the Clippers has been killed too.[/quote]I pay as little attention to the NBA as possible and I’m glad. It has to be the dumbest professional league in history. How can you kill two deals that were acceptable to all teams involved?
[quote name=mb21]I pay as little attention to the NBA as possible and I’m glad. It has to be the dumbest professional league in history. How can you kill two deals that were acceptable to all teams involved?[/quote]Well this time around the Clippers killed it because the NBA was asking for the moon.
The Lakers’ veto was an abomination though.
This has absolutely nothing to do with baseball, although there’s a mention of WAR…technically speaking.
http://www.eonline.com/news/feud_alert_mr_sulu_smacks_down_twilight/279969
[quote name=Rice Cube]This has absolutely nothing to do with baseball[/quote]GTFO. We don’t want to be re-discredited.
[quote name=Berselius]3 years for Rodrigo[/quote](dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
Phewww, Ramirez. For a second I thought you meant Lopez.
[quote name=GBTS]GTFO. We don’t want to be re-discredited.[/quote]Too late.
[quote name=AndCounting]I didn’t realize how steep the cliff was that McGehee fell off of. Wow.[/quote]Hendry wins again
[quote name=GBTS](dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
Chris Paul trade to the Clippers has been killed too.[/quote]
the nba is basically a dysfunctional fantasy league at this point
[quote name=GW]the nba is basically a dysfunctional fantasy league at this point[/quote]Meanwhile, the NFL has turned into a Sunday beer league.
Chuck Klosterman is really good at saying nothing in thousands of words, but this is money:
http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7319858/the-people-hate-tim-tebow
I think Chuck Klosterman didn’t listen to Jimmy Johnson and Bob Costas last night.
Bruce Levine says the Brewers signing Ramirez tips the scales in their favor. I know he’s a Cubs sportswriter, but surely he’s gotten the memo that the Brewers won the division in 2011 by 6 games and that the team that was 6 out lost Pujols.
[quote name=mb21]Bruce Levine says the Brewers signing Ramirez tips the scales in their favor. I know he’s a Cubs sportswriter, but surely he’s gotten the memo that the Brewers won the division in 2011 by 6 games and that the team that was 6 out lost Pujols.[/quote]I think he probably knows that but is talking more about 2012, and I’m not sure if that’s altogether true since the Brewers are likely to be missing Fielder (and probably Braun for 50 games) while the Cardinals get Wainwright back, so I don’t know how much of a “tip” the Brewers actually get.
[quote name=GBTS]
[/quote]I’m a bit shaky on kickoff rules, but since that ball didn’t travel 10 yards I assume the other team automatically takes possession where the kicking team touched the ball?
[quote name=Rice Cube]I think he probably knows that but is talking more about 2012, and I’m not sure if that’s altogether true since the Brewers are likely to be missing Fielder (and probably Braun for 50 games) while the Cardinals get Wainwright back, so I don’t know how much of a “tip” the Brewers actually get.[/quote]See, I thought he was making a Prince Fielder fat joke.
[quote name=Rice Cube]I’m a bit shaky on kickoff rules, but since that ball didn’t travel 10 yards I assume the other team automatically takes possession where the kicking team touched the ball?[/quote]Absolutely correct.
[quote name=Aisle424]Absolutely correct.[/quote]False. You also add penalty yards for sucking balls.
[quote name=WaLi]False. You also add penalty yards for sucking balls.[/quote]Nice snark.
[quote name=AndCounting]See, I thought he was making a Prince Fielder fat joke.[/quote]Bruce Levine can be quite clever when he wants to be…
The article was just a headline for me (dying laughing) I think they finally fixed it though:
http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/7437/a-ram-to-brewers-tips-scales-toward-milwaukee
[quote name=fang2415](dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
Phewww, Ramirez. For a second I thought you meant Lopez.[/quote]
Don’t ever mistake me for that Mexican.
[quote name=Rodrigo Ramirez]Don’t ever mistake me for that Mexican.[/quote]

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/nontenders2012
Boy, pretty wild ride so far.
Brewers are supposedly looking at Carlos Pena. It would be weird to have the Cubs’ 2 best hitters from last year in Brewer uniforms.
[quote name=ACT]Brewers are supposedly looking at Carlos Pena. It would be weird to have the Cubs’ 2 best hitters from last year in Brewer uniforms.[/quote]Correct.
[quote name=fang2415]Correct.[/quote].
https://twitter.com/jcrasnick/statuses/146261170268016640?_escaped_fragment_=/jcrasnick/statuses/146261170268016640#!/jcrasnick/statuses/146261170268016640
[quote name=Jerry Crasnick]Greinke parted with CAA last spring after agency helped facilitate trade from #Royals. There were no expectations he would stay.[/quote]
WTF!? What the hell kind of Cubs beat reporters are on this story? He hasn’t had an agent in nine months and it hits the news today!?
[quote name=ACT]Brewers are supposedly looking at Carlos Pena. It would be hilarious to have the Cubs’ 2 best hitters from last year being overpaid by the Brewers now that they are in decline.[/quote].
[quote name=fang2415]https://twitter.com/jcrasnick/statuses/146261170268016640?_escaped_fragment_=/jcrasnick/statuses/146261170268016640#!/jcrasnick/statuses/146261170268016640
WTF!? What the hell kind of Cubs beat reporters are on this story? He hasn’t had an agent in nine months and it hits the news today!?[/quote]They were too busy coming up with lists of Milton Bradley and Carlos Zambrano’s on-field incidents.
New head scratching shit: http://www.obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/articles/cubs-seriously-debating-whether-to-offer-koyie-hill-a-contract.html