WARNING: Before we get started, I’m assuming most people who come to this site don’t need to be told this, but for those who are not familar with a roast, they are rude, crude, and definitely not politically correct. If you are easily offended, please just stop reading right here. Bleed Cubbie Blue is that way. —–>
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Thank you all for coming to the 2011 Roast of the Chicago Cubs.
As Cubs fans this year, we have been subjected to nearly six months of excruciatingly painful experiences that no baseball fan should have to endure, and if we took a moment to stop reading Paul Sullivan articles to actually see the Cubs play, it wasn’t much better.
I’m not saying the Cubs were bad at baseball. I’m saying they were fucking horrible at it. It’s like they were the Chicago Cubs of playing baseball.
From top to bottom, the Cubs embarassed themselves with more frequency than Charlie Sheen on a bender. This is what happens when you put together your coaching staff on Craigslist. Mark Riggins looks like he is taking a break from his normal job of gay porn fluffer to be the pitching coach. Of course, he was probably the right man for the job since the straightest thing about Jeff Samardzija is his fastball.
The only good thing Ivan DeJesus has ever done for the Cubs was get traded for Ryne Sandberg. Now I’d be happy to trade him for Cindy Sandberg so the wind wouldn’t be the only thing blowing at Wrigley. I’d feel bad for Bobby Dernier always being so lonely over there at first base, but he’s usually too drunk to even know where he is anyway. Have you noticed he always whispers to runners when they reach first base? He’s not giving advice, he’s asking for a dollar so he can go buy some Mad Dog because Randy Wells broke into his secret stash again.
And what about Mike Quade? My God, he is an ugly motherfucker. The only thing uglier than Mike Quade are his lineups. The man had Jeff Baker batting clean-up at times this year. Jeff. Baker. The last thing Jeff Baker was good at cleaning was his 3rd-degree ass burns.
Not that Quade had all that many options. The Cubs are so bad that Marlon Byrd was happy to get nailed in the head with a fastball so he could see some stars around him. The Cubs’ big free agent acquisition was Carlos Pena. He seems like a good guy, but I’ve been looking at the videos and I think I’ve found a hole in his swing. It’s called the strike zone.
Even the guys who have actual talent are crappy. Take Alfonso Soriano. Seriously. Take him and never bring him back. Could he possibly move any slower on the field? The only thing that moved more slowly on the Cubs was Tom Ricketts’ decision to finally fucking fire Jim Hendry. Ron Santo is dead and doesn’t have any legs and he STILL moves faster than Alfonso Soriano.
But who would they replace him with? Bryan LaHair? Bryan LaHair is so old he remembers threatening Ernie Banks when the league desegregated. How about Tyler Colvin? He once scored after being stabbed in the chest. I know after this year many Cub fans would like to stab him again to see if that helps.
The brightest spot is Starlin Castro but the Cubs will fuck him up too. Nobody has bothered to explain to him that there is no rule that says you have to swing at every pitch that is thrown to him. At least when he swings at them, we know he was at least paying attention. Bobby Valentine got all over Castro for not paying attention to a couple of pitches in a game earlier this year but I don’t think that’s very fair. After about five pitches (also known as five Cubs plate appearances), I stop paying attention too. Who could watch this shit for more than a few minutes at a time?
For God’s sake, this fucking team is so fucking bad from top to bottom that nobody could push Koyie Hill off the team. Koyie Hill would have trouble challenging Timmy Lupus for a roster spot on the Bad News Bears and he’s been getting paid almost a million dollars by the Cubs this year. The only thing Koyie Hill is worse at than playing baseball is using a table saw. I’m not saying Koyie Hill is a useless fucking piece of no-talent shit because it would be an insult to useless fucking pieces of no-talent shit everywhere (don’t say I never did anything nice for you, Steve Rosenbloom).
We could probably put up with the shitty offense, and the shitty pitching, and the shitty baserunning, and the shitty managing if maybe the ballpark where we watched it didn’t put ALIEN SHIT IN OUR FUCKING ICE CUBES! Twenty critical health code violations at Wrigley concession stands? I can see Wally Hayward’s new slogan for next year: “Come to Wrigley for that good nostalgic, old-timey feel, now with extra Bubonic Plague!”
I know the Ricketts are obsessed with the troughs, but can we draw the line at serving beverages out of them? It is seriously safer to eat your nachos directly off of Bob Brenly’s taint.
Speaking of Judd Sirott… the only thing worse than watching the Cubs try to play baseball is having Judd scream vague descriptions of what they are doing as they fuck everything up. If I ever invent a time machine, I’m going to go back in time and convince Bob Sirott to be a cliff diver so that when Judd follows in his uncle’s footsteps without any of the same talent, he’ll die.
But the dark times are drawing to an end at Clark and Addison. Tom Ricketts has shrewdly arrived at the same conclusion everyone else had two years ago and fired Jim Hendry. The future is bright! Tom has stated that he wants to hire someone from a winning tradition and who has advanced analytic skills. As soon as he can locate the kid from Little Big League, we have ourselves a new General Manager. Hint to Tom: check Tony Campana’s resume.
We’re all putting an awful lot of faith in Tom Ricketts on this one. Holy shit are we screwed. The only thing in which Tom has showed the lightest aptitude is glad-handing the dopes who actually bought tickets to watch this mess. But the joke is on you, Tom. All those people shaking your hand had probably just touched one of the concession stands’ syphilis dogs.
But good luck to you, Tom. Know that we only roast the ones we love and remember, from here the sky is the limit… for your revenue streams. The team will probably still suck, but as long as they keep playing out there in that glorified minor league ballpark, we’ll keep shelling out the cash like Charles Barkley at a blackjack table.
Thank you and good night. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.
mb, I didn’t realize that you opened a car repair business
http://frankthetank.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/conference-realignment-chaos-its-on-like-donkey-kong/
This, pretty much
Also, this was awesome. I’m still laughing at the LaHair joke (dying laughing)
The LaHair joke was epic. I was laughing my ass off.
(dying laughing) well done, 424.
(dying laughing)
[quote name=Berselius]http://frankthetank.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/conference-realignment-chaos-its-on-like-donkey-kong/
This, pretty much[/quote]Except that if the others go to 14 or presumably 16 they’re going to demand the Big Ten do the same. If the super conferences are formed we have a little playoff where the top teams play one another. not sure if this would happen before the bowl games or after, but it would happen. It would be easier to get to the “playoffs” with just 12 teams than it would be in the other conferences.
This makes me like Berkman just a little more:
http://www.stltoday.com/sports/baseball/professional/article_22ef1b63-d67e-5d32-a9a8-71947ab5596f.html
[quote name=Mucker]The LaHair joke was epic. I was laughing my ass off.[/quote]
With all the “old” references I could have gone with, I’m not sure why making him a giant racist was funniest of my options, but it was.
[quote name=Aisle424]With all the “old” references I could have gone with, I’m not sure why making him a giant racist was funniest of my options, but it was.[/quote]
Maybe Chirinos and Lahair had a history from those days.
This post is the best ever. Needed a few “badda-bings” perhaps. Otherwise top notch. I laughed pretty hard at the Colvin joke as well as the LaHair. Let the kids play!!
All that was missing was for Aisley to randomly roast the other OVblog roasters before turning his full attention to the Cubs, so does this mean there are other roasts to be had in the future?
Win.
[quote name=Rice Cube]All that was missing was for Aisley to randomly roast the other OVblog roasters before turning his full attention to the Cubs, so does this mean there are other roasts to be had in the future?[/quote]
Would you stop leaking spoilers, please?
[quote name=Aisle424]This makes me like Berkman just a little more:
http://www.stltoday.com/sports/baseball/professional/article_22ef1b63-d67e-5d32-a9a8-71947ab5596f.html/quoteI love it when athletes are that honest. It’s also why I think some Rays fans are way off when it comes to Friedman’s loyalty to the Rays. This is about motherfucking money. (dying laughing)
[quote name=Aisle424]Would you stop leaking spoilers, please?[/quote]I’m so hungry…
We should tag every post with “This is about motherfucking memes.”
[quote name=Aisle424]We should tag every post with “This is about motherfucking memes.”[/quote]It’s too bad you can’t just put a picture of Samuel L. Jackson from “Snakes on a Plane” in the tag section.
[quote name=Aisle424]We should tag every post with “This is about motherfucking memes.”[/quote]I think I’ve done a couple, but one article it was very hard to come up with something. I like it though.
I didn’t like the idea of spending more on Netflix, but I also didn’t understand the anger. A company wants to maximize their profit and people are angry? I wish the prices of a lot of things would never go up, but it does and sometimes considerably.
[quote name=mb21]I didn’t like the idea of spending more on Netflix, but I also didn’t understand the anger. A company wants to maximize their profit and people are angry? I wish the prices of a lot of things would never go up, but it does and sometimes considerably.[/quote]Understandable, but I still quit them. It’s up to the individual if the cost increase is worth the service. Some will say yes, others no. The company will have to adjust accordingly. There’s no use getting angry about it, though. Vote with your dollars.
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/09/20/the-save-stat-and-perverse-incentives/
[quote name=Mish]http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/09/20/the-save-stat-and-perverse-incentives/[/quote]RC —-> Unobstructed View:
http://www.obstructedview.net/unobstructed-views/mlb/regarding-the-save-statistic.html
(dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing)
Wellfuckingdone, Aisley.
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/fangraphs-official-position-on-uzr/
I think the point in the comments about why FIP is used in fWAR is valid, unless I”m missing something…
It’s also NOT enough to determine a player’s value in that specific season.
It’s also not telling us what happened that season. The simple fact that the defensive metrics vary so differently is proof of this.
[quote name=Mish]http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/fangraphs-official-position-on-uzr/
I think the point in the comments about why FIP is used in fWAR is valid, unless I”m missing something…[/quote]FIP does not look at what a player did in one year. It looks at a subset of what he did. The subset it looks it mostly what the pitcher has control over, but if you want to know how the pitcher actually did, FIP ignores sequencing and numbers in higher leverage situations. I think Tango made the point recently that FIP accounts for about 30% or something so using FIP gives you a pretty good idea. It’s a better stat to look at for future FIP or ERA for that matter because sequencing and splits (batting with men on base) even out over larger samples. But in one year, FIP does not measure exactly what a pitcher did. It measures exactly what it says: only strikeouts, walks and home runs. There’s A LOT more to pitching than that.
http://www.insidethebook.com/ee/index.php/site/comments/does_one_year_uzr_tell_us_exactly_what_happened/
Someone on FG posted that link and I’m glad they did:
I’d think with all the discussion on defensive stats over the last year or 18 months that this would be well known at this point. The point has been hammered home so many times by even MGL, Tango, and especially Colin Wyers and Mike Fast.
Tango used the example of Halladay and Lee from 2010. Lee had a better FIP, but much worse ERA. The reason was that Halladay pitched well with runners on base and Lee pitched worse than his overall line. No, there’s no reason to think that will continue, but it has to be included in single season WAR because it’s what happened. I guess it depends on what you want WAR to be. I don’t want WAR to be about true talent level. I want WAR to represent what the player did. I can look at FIP or other metrics to look at talent level.
Not to mention how bad the batted ball data is, which means that single season UZR data cannot tell us what a player did that year.
Sigh, WAR…
I really wish ESPN had started their statistics revolution by talking about really solid stats like wOBA or FIP rather than miasmal hodgepodges like WAR.
http://www.popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.gif
MB, I think your salsa metaphor the other day missed a trick. WAR is best thought of as a sausage statistic. It may be tasty most of the time, but nobody knows what the hell is in it and if you find out, you may want to stop eating it.
[quote name=mb21]http://www.insidethebook.com/ee/index.php/site/comments/does_one_year_uzr_tell_us_exactly_what_happened/
Someone on FG posted that link and I’m glad they did:
I’d think with all the discussion on defensive stats over the last year or 18 months that this would be well known at this point. The point has been hammered home so many times by even MGL, Tango, and especially Colin Wyers and Mike Fast.[/quote]That was quoted in the article! I wonder if Woodrum/Appleman actually read it?…
[quote name=Aisle424]
http://www.popvssoda.com/countystats/total-county.gif/quoteWhen I first moved to Chicago from CA and everyone tried to offer me a pop, I thought they either wanted to fight me or were propositioning me for sexual acts.
[quote name=Rice Cube]When I first moved to Chicago from CA and everyone tried to offer me a pop, I thought they either wanted to fight me or were propositioning me for sexual acts.[/quote]
We were.
[quote name=Aisle424]We were.[/quote]At the same time?
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/fangraphs-official-position-on-uzr/ :
LOIC’d
[quote name=fang2415]Sigh, WAR…
I really wish ESPN had started their statistics revolution by talking about really solid stats like wOBA or FIP rather than miasmal hodgepodges like WAR.[/quote]I wish they would have too. It’s more important people understand those other metrics than it is WAR.
[quote name=fang2415]http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/fangraphs-official-position-on-uzr/ :
LOIC’d[/quote]So….false?
[quote name=Rice Cube]When I first moved to Chicago from CA and everyone tried to offer me a pop, I thought they either wanted to fight me or were propositioning me for sexual acts.[/quote]I grew up in Iowa so I always called it pop. I moved to Arizona in my 20s and have called it soda ever since.
[quote name=fang2415]That was quoted in the article! I wonder if Woodrum/Appleman actually read it?…[/quote]Yeah, it was funny because I had that article bookmarked and had just opened it. Then I saw it was linked in those comments and quoted. I was going to do the same thing, but someone is faster than me. (dying laughing)
[quote name=fang2415]MB, I think your salsa metaphor the other day missed a trick. WAR is best thought of as a sausage statistic. It may be tasty most of the time, but nobody knows what the hell is in it and if you find out, you may want to stop eating it.[/quote]I know the creators keep talking about it as an implementation and that’s great, but when you see significant differences in WAR between fWAR and rWAR, there is literally no way the average fan is going to consider that a good stat.
I usually just say Coke (b/c I prefer Coke to Pepsi) but would resort to “pop” if I was using the generic name. Seems I fight in with my local region.
[quote name=Rice Cube]At the same time?[/quote]Is there a difference between the two?
[quote name=Rice Cube]At the same time?[/quote]That’s how we roll in the midwest.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Is there a difference between the two?[/quote]Well played, sir.
I moved to Western NY and still called it pop and it didn’t stand out as weird. Then I came back to Chicago and people were interested that I didn’t use “soda” because the rest of the east coasters did. I guess NYers are not in agreement on terminology.
Apparently 80-100% of people in the entire stats of Hawaii, Rhode Island, New Jersey, Connecticut and Maine call it soda. Those are the only 5 states that have the same color across the entire state.
[quote name=Aisle424]I moved to Western NY and still called it pop and it didn’t stand out as weird. Then I came back to Chicago and people were interested that I didn’t use “soda” because the rest of the east coasters did. I guess NYers are not in agreement on terminology.[/quote]According to that map most call it soda.
Cubs fans and the coming of the Apocalypse department:
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/09/20/cubs-will-keep-scouting-director-tim-wilken-for-2012/
What is other?
[quote name=mb21]I know the creators keep talking about it as an implementation and that’s great, but when you see significant differences in WAR between fWAR and rWAR, there is literally no way the average fan is going to consider that a good stat.[/quote]Well, like sausage, it can be good, if you make it carefully and with good ingredients. But if you’ve never eaten meat before and you’re not sure whether it’s safe, Oscar Meyer is not a good place to dive in and start swallowing.
It’s also a little like CDOs. There’s no intrinsic reason why they have to be bad, but a lot of them were and people didn’t notice for a long time. Then they ruined the economy. (dying laughing)
[quote name=mb21]What is other?[/quote]Could make a list…
Pepsi
Bubbly
Sugarwater
etc etc
Oscar Meyer is well below replacement level.
[quote name=mb21]Oscar Meyer is well below replacement level.[/quote]Oscar Meyer is the Yuni Betancourt of sausages.
I’ve never heard anyone say any of that, RC. I’ve heard bubbly for champagne, but not for a soft drink. (dying laughing)
[quote name=Rice Cube]Oscar Meyer is the Yuni Betancourt of sausages.[/quote]Oscar Meyer would be Koyie Hill’s backup.
[quote name=mb21]I’ve never heard anyone say any of that, RC. I’ve heard bubbly for champagne, but not for a soft drink. (dying laughing)[/quote]I was just making shit up but I can see it being used for soda/pop as well. Some people also use the combination “soda pop” to describe soft drinks. Or they might even just call it a “soft drink” to be preppy.
[quote name=mb21]According to that map most call it soda.[/quote]yeah, but not over there by Buffalo. We do weird shit in Western New York. It isn’t an accident that putting hot sauce on obscure chicken parts was invented in Buffalo.
[quote name=mb21]What is other?[/quote](dying laughing)
I have no idea what else you would call soft drinks unless they actually say “soft drinks,” but I would think that would have just been a category. There must have been more and I can’t think for the life of me what else they could be.
[quote name=Rice Cube]I was just making shit up but I can see it being used for soda/pop as well. Some people also use the combination “soda pop” to describe soft drinks. Or they might even just call it a “soft drink” to be preppy.[/quote]It was always pop when I was a kid in Iowa. But soda pop is the old-fashioned name. I went to college in Arkansas, and it was pointed out to me in excrutiating detail and with great frequency how I did not say “Coke” as a generic. I’ve never been anywhere in the world where they made as big a deal about such things as they did in Arkansas.
[quote name=josh]It was always pop when I was a kid in Iowa. But soda pop is the old-fashioned name. I went to college in Arkansas, and it was pointed out to me in excrutiating detail and with great frequency how I did not say “Coke” as a generic. I’ve never been anywhere in the world where they made as big a deal about such things as they did in Arkansas.[/quote]Arkansas has a state law requiring proper pronunciation of the state name.
/cool story bro’d
[quote name=mb21]What is other?[/quote]Soda-pop
Also, fail for creating a roast post (hah!) without mention of Quade and his nicknames.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Arkansas has a state law requiring proper pronunciation of the state name.
/cool story bro’d[/quote]It’s not Are Kansas, that’s for sure.
[quote name=jtsunami]Soda-pop[/quote]OK. I guess I was thinking that would qualify under soda initially, but I don’t know why it would. Other makes sense to me now.
[quote name=jtsunami]Also, fail for creating a roast post (hah!) without mention of Quade and his nicknames.[/quote]It’s been done. of course, so were most of the other jokes, so no dinner for me.
[quote name=josh]It’s not Are Kansas, that’s for sure.[/quote](dying laughing) I hate that shit here. The Arkansas River is the Are Kansas River.
[quote name=Aisle424]It’s been done. of course, so were most of the other jokes, so no dinner for me.[/quote]You haven’t eaten in awhile.
http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/in-retrospect/
(dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing)
The soda map is almost as old as me. A golden oldie of Internet nonsense.
They say “minerals” or “fizzy drinks” in Ireland, “coca” in Paris and “cola” in the Netherlands.
[quote name=mb21](dying laughing) I hate that shit here. The Arkansas River is the Are Kansas River.[/quote]Is it “Are Kansas” in Kansas and “Arkansaw” in Arkansas?
Roasts usually have multiple contributors, so anybody who is feeling the funny, go ahead an roast away on the Unobstructed Views. Feel free to target me as well. I can take it.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Is it “Are Kansas” in Kansas and “Arkansaw” in Arkansas?[/quote]How Arkansans pronounce “Arkansas” defies any known phonics symbols that I am aware of.
‘Scotland’s other National Drink’
[quote name=josh]How Arkansans pronounce “Arkansas” defies any known phonics symbols that I am aware of.[/quote]Do they pronounce it some way other than “Ark-in-saw”?
[quote name=josh]How Arkansans pronounce “Arkansas” defies any known phonics symbols that I am aware of.[/quote]I believe there’s actually a state law in Arkansas that mandates the “s” being silent. And another one mandating that all beverages be called Coke.
[quote name=Suburban kid 22]‘Scotland’s other National Drink’
[/quote]Man, that stuff is foul. Why they sell that in every shop here but won’t touch lemon-lime Gatorade with a ten-foot pole is beyond me.
[quote name=Suburban kid 22]Do they pronounce it some way other than “Ark-in-saw”?[/quote]Add more vowel sounds, somehow. And if you can eat the word, that would help. Pronounce the word as though you have no teeth. Of course, I’m talking only about some Arkansans. I actually know a lot of very nice, well educated and intelligent people from Arkansas. I’m talking about the people you overhear screaming at their kids in Walmart on Sunday (that’s the day when the hillfolk come to town to buy supplies for the week).
[quote name=fang2415]http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/in-retrospect/
(dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing)[/quote]My comment on that article: http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/in-retrospect/#comment-1141689
.
[quote name=fang2415]I believe there’s actually a state law in Arkansas that mandates the “s” being silent. And another one mandating that all beverages be called Coke.[/quote](dying laughing)
If I had one faget point for every time I posted something that had been posted like five comments before, I would rule the faget universe.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Is it “Are Kansas” in Kansas and “Arkansaw” in Arkansas?[/quote]Yes. It’s “Arkansaw” everywhere else in the world except Kansas where it’s “Are Kansas.” It’s meaningless, but it irritates me.
[quote name=Aisle424]Roasts usually have multiple contributors, so anybody who is feeling the funny, go ahead an roast away on the Unobstructed Views. Feel free to target me as well. I can take it.[/quote]Don’t tell me what to do.
The whole Are Kansas thing here pisses me off as much as the stupid fucks who think the left lane isn’t for passing. You could drive for miles and miles behind a car in the left lane going exactly the same speed as the car in the right lane. They finally created a law that has helped somewhat, but you can’t take the stupid out of stupid people.
[quote name=mb21]The whole Are Kansas thing here pisses me off as much as the stupid fucks who think the left lane isn’t for passing. You could drive for miles and miles behind a car in the left lane going exactly the same speed as the car in the right lane. They finally created a law that has helped somewhat, but you can’t take the stupid out of stupid people.[/quote]I think you just need to install a cowcatcher on the front of your vehicle, MB. Just shove them out of the way (dying laughing)
[quote name=fang2415](dying laughing)
If I had one faget point for every time I posted something that had been posted like five comments before, I would rule the faget universe.[/quote]It’s not really illegal, it’s just that they officially wrote the pronunciation into the state code for state proceedings and suchlike. More like an official consensus than something you’d get put in jail for.
A more pressing concern than the pronunciation of the state, when I lived in Arkansas, was the fact that I lived in a dry county.
[quote name=josh]A more pressing concern than the pronunciation of the state, when I lived in Arkansas, was the fact that I lived in a dry county.[/quote]That’s…terrible. I thought that was unconstitutional.
[quote name=mb21]What is other?[/quote]
I think it’s soda pop or soft drink
[quote name=Rice Cube]That’s…terrible. I thought that was unconstitutional.[/quote]
I know West Lafayette (where Purdue is) was dry when my sister went there – always amazed me.
[quote name=mb21]Oscar Meyer is well below replacement level.[/quote]
Oscar Mayer sucks, but it’s still higher quality than most of the other shitty hot dogs you see in the supermarket. Though if I’m buying hot dogs from a non-deli counter it’s Hebrew National or nothing.
I’ll admit some bias towards OM since I’ve had many family members work at the OM plant in Madison over the years though (dying laughing).
[quote name=Aisle424]yeah, but not over there by Buffalo. We do weird shit in Western New York. It isn’t an accident that putting hot sauce on obscure chicken parts was invented in Buffalo.[/quote]
Buffalo wings were the original hipster bar food.
[quote name=mb21].[/quote]
What’s going on with fangraphs now? I never read their blog anymore.
[quote name=mb21]The whole Are Kansas thing here pisses me off as much as the stupid fucks who think the left lane isn’t for passing. You could drive for miles and miles behind a car in the left lane going exactly the same speed as the car in the right lane. They finally created a law that has helped somewhat, but you can’t take the stupid out of stupid people.[/quote]
They’re probably on their way to a TGI Fridays on the Are Kansas River
[quote name=Mish]I know West Lafayette (where Purdue is) was dry when my sister went there – always amazed me.[/quote]
Madison obviously isn’t dry, but the close alcohol sales there much earlier than the rest of the state. Always drove me nuts as a student.
I’ve also run into problems multiple times in Austin when I forget that you can’t buy alcohol before noon on a Sunday (when I usually grocery shop)
[quote name=Berselius]I’ve also run into problems multiple times in Austin when I forget that you can’t buy alcohol before noon on a Sunday (when I usually grocery shop)[/quote]One suggests shopping at 12:01 then.
Per Chicago Vince on FB:
[quote name=Rice Cube]One suggests shopping at 12:01 then.[/quote]
Don’t tell me what to do.
[quote name=Rice Cube]One suggests shopping at 12:01 then.[/quote]That’s when the strip clubs open, so he has to get his shopping in before.
[quote name=GBTS]That’s when the strip clubs open, so he has to get his shopping in before.[/quote]
That’s when my local Aamco opens (cf comment #1)
If the Cubs finish 6-2, they might as well rehire him. Almost as meaningful as 24-13.
Off-topic Pujols watch:
Batting .299/.369/.548 with 36 HR/96 RBI, so on the cusp of another .300/30HR/100RBI season to continue his career streak. Still has more BB than K for the 10th straight season. This is either his worst or second worst season of his career and he’s still worth around 5 rWAR.
Pujols is good at baseball.
[quote name=GBTS]If the Cubs finish 6-2, they might as well rehire him. Almost as meaningful as 24-13.[/quote]Well, technically it wouldn’t be a “rehire” since his contract isn’t up for another year.
Part of me hopes they keep Quade on, just to piss off the hardcore haters (i.e., the people who think he’s an idiot for not benching people like Pena and Ramirez). That said, I’ve had my share of frustrations with him, mostly regarding his in-game strategy.
[quote name=ACT]Well, technically it wouldn’t be a “rehire” since his contract isn’t up for another year.
Part of me hopes they keep Quade on, just to piss off the hardcore haters (i.e., the people who think he’s an idiot for not benching people like Pena and Ramirez). That said, I’ve had my share of frustrations with him, mostly regarding his in-game strategy.[/quote]His pitching management hasn’t been great. I almost see them keeping him, depending on how quickly they can get a new GM. Just like I could see them keeping Pena and Ramirez for now.
[quote name=Berselius]
I’ve also run into problems multiple times in Austin when I forget that you can’t buy alcohol before noon on a Sunday (when I usually grocery shop)[/quote]
I think this is more ubiquitous – I live in East Lakeview/Wrigleyville and liquor sales don’t start ’til 11 AM on Sundays.
[quote name=Mish]I know West Lafayette (where Purdue is) was dry when my sister went there – always amazed me.[/quote]According to google, there are liquor stores there. That’s good, because I was thinking of applying to grad school there.
In Arkansas, you can’t buy alcohol on Sunday at all, statewide. And to handle living in a dry county, we drove to the next county over to buy alcohol, which means a lot of friends drove back to campus and drank. So, there goes revenue and safety. Good plan!
[quote name=fang2415]Man, that stuff is foul. Why they sell that in every shop here but won’t touch lemon-lime Gatorade with a ten-foot pole is beyond me.[/quote]
Because it’s still better than Bovril?
[quote name=josh]So, there goes revenue and safety. Good plan![/quote]Yes, but no Satan in your county.
[quote name=Mish]I think this is more ubiquitous – I live in East Lakeview/Wrigleyville and liquor sales don’t start ’til 11 AM on Sundays.[/quote]I’ve never noticed any restrictions in Champaign, but my days of after midnight runs to get MORE ALCOHOL are pretty much behind me now.
[quote name=GBTS]Yes, but no Satan in your county.[/quote]Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez were probably not anywhere close to Arkansas at the time, unless they were playing the Cardinals or Royals…
[quote name=josh]I’ve never noticed any restrictions in Champaign, but my days of after midnight runs to get MORE ALCOHOL are pretty much behind me now.[/quote]Your liver must have been way above replacement level back then, but is probably now in decline.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Your liver must have been way above replacement level back then, but is probably now in decline.[/quote]He’s just too lazy.
.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Your liver must have been way above replacement level back then, but is probably now in decline.[/quote]He just drinks when the pressure is off.
Also, Mizzou has an invite from the SEC but they’re waiting for the B12-2-1-X to finish imploding
http://www.kansascity.com/2011/09/20/3155336/source-mizzou-has-sec-offer-but.html
[quote name=Aisle424]He’s just too lazy.[/quote][quote name=Mish]He just drinks when the pressure is off.[/quote]Hilarious. Good luck with your cirrhosis.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Hilarious. Good luck with your cirrhosis.[/quote]Aw no way. I have the Jose Bautista of livers.
[quote name=josh]Aw no way. I have the Jose Bautista of livers.[/quote]Joey Heps
(liver is made out of hepatic tissue, sorry, best I can do, no dinner, yada yada yada)
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Because it’s still better than Bovril?[/quote]For future punishments, instead of no dinner, Cubs players will be given a choice of marmite sandwiches or Dr. Brains’ faggots, and a tumbler full of Irn Bru with a Bovril chaser, followed by a nice cup of horlicks.
[quote name=Berselius]Also, Mizzou has an invite from the SEC but they’re waiting for the B12-2-1-X to finish imploding
http://www.kansascity.com/2011/09/20/3155336/source-mizzou-has-sec-offer-but.html/quote
hmm… i still think fsu ends up there, too
[quote name=Suburban kid 22]For future punishments, instead of no dinner, Cubs players will be given a choice of marmite sandwiches or Dr. Brains’ faggots, and a tumbler full of Irn Bru with a Bovril chaser, followed by a nice cup of horlicks.[/quote]I’d rather have no dinner.
[quote name=Suburban kid 22]For future punishments, instead of no dinner, Cubs players will be given a choice of marmite sandwiches or Dr. Brains’ faggots, and a tumbler full of Irn Bru with a Bovril chaser, followed by a nice cup of horlicks.[/quote]I’ve had Marmite on toast before. I didn’t think it was the worst thing. Kind of salty. Actually it might have been Vegemite. It was given to me by an Aussie.
[quote name=josh]I’ve had Marmite on toast before. I didn’t think it was the worst thing. Kind of salty. Actually it might have been Vegemite. It was given to me by an Aussie.[/quote]That was almost certainly Vegemite, which is it’s own kind of shitty. But Marmite on toast is so utterly horrid, it makes Vegemite seem like duck paté.
[quote name=josh]I’ve had Marmite on toast before. I didn’t think it was the worst thing. Kind of salty. Actually it might have been Vegemite. It was given to me by an Aussie.[/quote]Did he smile when he gave you that Vegemite sandwich?
/Land Down Under’d
[quote name=mb21]What is other?[/quote]“Diabetes”
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]That was almost certainly Vegemite, which is it’s own kind of shitty. But Marmite on toast is so utterly horrid, it makes Vegemite seem like duck paté.[/quote]Now I have to try it. Just so I know.
[quote name=Berselius]Oscar Mayer sucks, but it’s still higher quality than most of the other shitty hot dogs you see in the supermarket. Though if I’m buying hot dogs from a non-deli counter it’s Hebrew National or nothing.
I’ll admit some bias towards OM since I’ve had many family members work at the OM plant in Madison over the years though (dying laughing).[/quote]I made hot dogs one time and they were awesome. If you eat a home made hot dog I don’t think you can look at any of the others as anything other than dog food. (dying laughing)
[quote name=Berselius]What’s going on with fangraphs now? I never read their blog anymore.[/quote]I don’t read it unless someone here posts a link. Brad wrote an article claiming that one year of UZR was enough. Not in the true talent sense, but that what that UZR is, is an actual representation of how many runs above or below average he was. This is nonsense of course and many people pointed it out.
Colin Wyers was kind (?) enough to archive the article: https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1Spkpm9pMWA6YlEeVdLykCr14C6mn_bs4XXW6iUoPJJo
[quote name=mb21]I don’t read it unless someone here posts a link. Brad wrote an article claiming that one year of UZR was enough. Not in the true talent sense, but that what that UZR is, is an actual representation of how many runs above or below average he was. This is nonsense of course and many people pointed it out.[/quote]I don’t read a lot of their articles, but I certainly stare at their numbers a lot. Most of their articles tend to be “Player X isn’t broken, he’s just had a run of bad luck.” Also, who to trade or not to trade in your fantasy baseball league, which I don’t really do.
Their fantasy rankings are good for a laugh. “So-and-so had a bad week. He goes down a tier.”
[quote name=ACT]Colin Wyers was kind (?) enough to archive the article: https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1Spkpm9pMWA6YlEeVdLykCr14C6mn_bs4XXW6iUoPJJo/quoteHis point seems to be that UZR describes the season, whether or not it gives you an accurate picture of true talent level. That seems to be a valid point. A guy can have great potential but a bad season. If he has a bad season, does he not hurt his team, whether or not he is truly talented?
UZR has issues with measurement error, however. If someone has a high UZR, he might be having a good year, or he might have had a lot of easy-to-field balls that were misclassified.
[quote name=ACT]UZR has issues with measurement error, however. If someone has a high UZR, he might be having a good year, or he might have had a lot of easy-to-field balls that were misclassified.[/quote]If every chance he had was an easy chance, relatively speaking, is that guy a good defender? No, but maybe he helped add wins to the team. But then I can see the point that it really tells you nothing since if the chances were that easy, literally anyone in that position should have been exactly as good a defender. This goes back to how difficult it is to quantify defense.
[quote name=ACT]UZR has issues with measurement error, however. If someone has a high UZR, he might be having a good year, or he might have had a lot of easy-to-field balls that were misclassified.[/quote]This would suggest a substantial amount of subjectivity in what should be a quantitative statistic.
[quote name=Rice Cube]This would suggest a substantial amount of subjectivity in what should be a quantitative statistic.[/quote]I would think you could quantify that simply by defining certain zones, which I think is what UZR does. Zone A is more or less hit at him, and the further you get from the defender’s starting position, the more the difficulty, but how far you go, what difficulty you assign, those parts I’m sure have the potential to border on subjective.
[quote name=josh]I would think you could quantify that simply by defining certain zones, which I think is what UZR does. Zone A is more or less hit at him, and the further you get from the defender’s starting position, the more the difficulty, but how far you go, what difficulty you assign, those parts I’m sure have the potential to border on subjective.[/quote]Yeah, I know about the individual zones but I didn’t know how “grounders”, “line drives” and what not are weighted in that stat, if at all, so that’s why I was wondering about it. The extent of my knowledge of UZR is “positive is good” (dying laughing)
[quote name=Rice Cube]This would suggest a substantial amount of subjectivity in what should be a quantitative statistic.[/quote]Yes, but so does, say batting average (was that a hit or an error?)
[quote name=ACT]Yes, but so does, say batting average (was that a hit or an error?)[/quote]I’m starting to think that at the root of the problems with, and disparities between, defensive metrics is the unreliability of batted ball data. But that makes me wonder if we should worry about the reliability of BABiP as a predictor…
[quote name=josh]If every chance he had was an easy chance, relatively speaking, is that guy a good defender? No, but maybe he helped add wins to the team. But then I can see the point that it really tells you nothing since if the chances were that easy, literally anyone in that position should have been exactly as good a defender. This goes back to how difficult it is to quantify defense.[/quote]
It’s not only about the type of chances he got. The batted ball data isn’t especially good. So in one park you may have a stringer who classifies more balls as hard to field because he sees them as more of a line drive than a fliner or something. As a result, that fielder gets a lot of credit when he shouldn’t have.
How was HitF/X or FieldF/X or whatever they were doing to F/X supposed to work? I guess cameras can be trained to focus on the ball no matter where it’s hit, but I’m technologically challenged and can’t imagine how that’s really possible with just three cameras.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I’m starting to think that at the root of the problems with, and disparities between, defensive metrics is the unreliability of batted ball data. But that makes me wonder if we should worry about the reliability of BABiP as a predictor…[/quote]I wonder that too. How is that data collected? How many data points per batted ball are actually recorded? It seems to me that any given batted ball has a lot of different variables that could affect how it lands, where it lands, etc.
The best work on defensive metrics is probably being done by teams; they have better data (Hit f/x), and many have good statistical analysts. Strangely, however, these teams are not interested in sharing their hard-earned corporate secrets with the public for free.
[quote name=ACT]The best work on defensive metrics is probably being done by teams; they have better data (Hit f/x), and many have good statistical analysts. Strangely, however, these teams are not interested in sharing their hard-earned corporate secrets with the public for free.[/quote](dying laughing), well put.
[quote name=josh]I would think you could quantify that simply by defining certain zones, which I think is what UZR does. Zone A is more or less hit at him, and the further you get from the defender’s starting position, the more the difficulty, but how far you go, what difficulty you assign, those parts I’m sure have the potential to border on subjective.[/quote]There are many zones and may batted ball classifications. The height of the press box has an impact on what the batted balls are classified as so we have to even wonder if the batted ball data is useful at all. Also consider with Ramirez at 3rd base and his lack of range that it’s going to result in the stringer locating a ball closer to Castro than Ramirez. He’ll see Ramirez so far away, but if Zimmerman was at 3rd that location is likely to be very different. It would no longer be a ball that a shortstop should field, say, 30% of the time, but rather 1% or 0%.
[quote name=Rice Cube]How was HitF/X or FieldF/X or whatever they were doing to F/X supposed to work? I guess cameras can be trained to focus on the ball no matter where it’s hit, but I’m technologically challenged and can’t imagine how that’s really possible with just three cameras.[/quote]I’m disappointed we haven’t learned more about the results of Field F/X yet.
[quote name=mb21]It’s not only about the type of chances he got. The batted ball data isn’t especially good. So in one park you may have a stringer who classifies more balls as hard to field because he sees them as more of a line drive than a fliner or something. As a result, that fielder gets a lot of credit when he shouldn’t have.[/quote]What we need is a sensor in the ball that gives data on spin, velocity, and trajectory. I wonder if that could be done without effecting how the ball moves. If you could, then you could easily have a machine measure balls and strikes, you’d have a way to automatically tell if a ball left the park, and you could have much more precise defensive statistics.
[quote name=mb21]There are many zones and may batted ball classifications. The height of the press box has an impact on what the batted balls are classified as so we have to even wonder if the batted ball data is useful at all. Also consider with Ramirez at 3rd base and his lack of range that it’s going to result in the stringer locating a ball closer to Castro than Ramirez. He’ll see Ramirez so far away, but if Zimmerman was at 3rd that location is likely to be very different. It would no longer be a ball that a shortstop should field, say, 30% of the time, but rather 1% or 0%.[/quote]Okay, I wasn’t sure how that was done. That makes sense. The human element has to be minimized.
With the right mix of sensors in baseball, you could even do things like have a camera that instantly locks onto the ball, instead of having cameramen trying to find a homerun by eye.
[quote name=josh]With the right mix of sensors in baseball, you could even do things like have a camera that instantly locks onto the ball, instead of having cameramen trying to find a homerun by eye.[/quote]I had posited the idea of a RFID chip within the cork of the baseball but I have no idea how that would affect flight/elasticity after contact etc.
[quote name=Rice Cube]I had posited the idea of a RFID chip within the cork of the baseball but I have no idea how that would affect flight/elasticity after contact etc.[/quote]Coupled with Josh’s idea of an autolocking camera system trained on this chip, you can then hopefully have better replay angles and almost-certainty of whether a ball left the park, is fair/foul, etc. and that might actually reduce the amount of replay expansion that would be needed, for ~$1 more per baseball in cost. I actually have no idea how much an RFID chip costs (dying laughing)
Maybe they can even add a conductive layer on the baseball and on player uniforms/cleats, sort of like what Olympic fencers use to detect “hits”, such that when a ball is caught by the first baseman on a bang-bang play, for example, a circuit is completed and the out is certain. But that’s probably going overboard.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Coupled with Josh’s idea of an autolocking camera system trained on this chip, you can then hopefully have better replay angles and almost-certainty of whether a ball left the park, is fair/foul, etc. and that might actually reduce the amount of replay expansion that would be needed, for ~$1 more per baseball in cost. I actually have no idea how much an RFID chip costs (dying laughing)
Maybe they can even add a conductive layer on the baseball and on player uniforms/cleats, sort of like what Olympic fencers use to detect “hits”, such that when a ball is caught by the first baseman on a bang-bang play, for example, a circuit is completed and the out is certain. But that’s probably going overboard.[/quote]I don’t know, I love the idea of incorporating technology into baseball, but I’m a huge science fiction nerd, so there you go.
Field F/X is supposed to track all kinds of awesome things for fielders. It was installed a year or two ago, but I’ve seen only a little research on it.
[quote name=josh]I don’t know, I love the idea of incorporating technology into baseball, but I’m a huge science fiction nerd, so there you go.[/quote]The problem also is if you use auto-trained cameras, you reduce the need for actual cameramen, and people don’t like losing their jerbs, y’know?
Also, my other idea would reduce umpire responsibility and I’m sure they won’t like it either.
/human element’d
If anyone’s in Chicago and wants to use Wrigley Field in October:
http://muskat.mlblogs.com/2011/09/20/920-movie-night-at-wrigley-field/
[quote name=mb21]Field F/X is supposed to track all kinds of awesome things for fielders. It was installed a year or two ago, but I’ve seen only a little research on it.[/quote]I haven’t heard of it, but looking into it, that looks like the kind of data I was imagining. I’m excited to see if it works as well as they claim.
[quote name=Rice Cube]The problem also is if you use auto-trained cameras, you reduce the need for actual cameramen, and people don’t like losing their jerbs, y’know?
Also, my other idea would reduce umpire responsibility and I’m sure they won’t like it either.
/human element’d[/quote]All that shit will need repairmen. In fifty years, all jobs will be repairing our robot overlords anyway.
If they engineered a tracking chip inside the cork it seems like it would have very negligible effect on the flight of the baseball. Someone with a physics background help out here! (dying laughing)
[quote name=mb21]Field F/X is supposed to track all kinds of awesome things for fielders. It was installed a year or two ago, but I’ve seen only a little research on it.[/quote]Is there any reason to think it will be made available to the public? Hit F/X isn’t, and the only reason Pitch F/X is is because MLBAM was able to capitalize on it with Gameday.
I thought it was available to the public, ACT. Is that wrong?
Fox made up lies to advance their narrative? Color me stunned.
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/09/20/fox-sports-admits-they-fabricated-newspaper-headlines/
[quote name=mb21]I thought it was available to the public, ACT. Is that wrong?[/quote]According to what I read, subscribers to some cable stations would be able to pull up a replay where they see the trajectory and how far the runner went etc. I don’t know if this has been implemented, or if they would release their raw data.
According to Colin, SF is the only team with Field F/X installed: http://twitter.com/#!/cwyers/status/116225807919226880
[quote name=GBTS]Fox made up lies to advance their narrative? Color me stunned.
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/09/20/fox-sports-admits-they-fabricated-newspaper-headlines//quoteFucking assholes. Jay doesn’t kowtow to the media, and so they respond by telling lies, and somehow Jay is the asshole.
[quote name=ACT]According to Colin, SF is the only team with Field F/X installed: http://twitter.com/#!/cwyers/status/116225807919226880/quoteThere is an irony in this given how bad some of the Giants fielders have been, i.e. the unemployed Miguel Tejada and Aubrey Huff. But at least now they have more evidence of said suckiness (dying laughing)
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Fucking assholes. Jay doesn’t kowtow to the media, and so they respond by telling lies, and somehow Jay is the asshole.[/quote]The funny thing is that the media was mostly in Jay’s corner after that GB game. It was mostly the fans and former players that were on him about being a wuss. So FOX had to make those headlines up.
[quote name=Aisle424]The funny thing is that the media was mostly in Jay’s corner after that GB game. It was mostly the fans and former players that were on him about being a wuss. So FOX had to make those headlines up.[/quote]Well, FOX is part of the media. To the credit of the local guys, they’ve mostly backed Jay through all this, but I cannot say the same of the national media.
[quote name=GBTS]Fox made up lies to advance their narrative? Color me stunned.
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/09/20/fox-sports-admits-they-fabricated-newspaper-headlines//quoteWait a fucking second: doesn’t this admission basically give Jay a solid case for slander? Cesc Fabregas just won damages from a UK magazine who made up quotes when he didn’t give them what they wanted in an interview. He gave the damages to charity. I’d love it if Jay did the same.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Well, FOX is part of the media. To the credit of the local guys, they’ve mostly backed Jay through all this, but I cannot say the same of the national media.[/quote]That’s true, I was thinking of the local media, who are usually the ones who blow shit up for no good reason.
[quote name=Rice Cube]There is an irony in this given how bad some of the Giants fielders have been, i.e. the unemployed Miguel Tejada and Aubrey Huff. But at least now they have more evidence of said suckiness (dying laughing)[/quote]Overall, their fielding has been very good, at least in terms of outs made (they have the second-highest DER in the league). UZR and DRS also rate them highly.
[quote name=ACT]Overall, their fielding has been very good, at least in terms of outs made (they have the second-highest DER in the league). UZR and DRS also rate them highly.[/quote]Yeah, I noticed that, but for a while it was funny that Brian Sabean actually thought Miguel Tejada could still play baseball. That Aubrey Huff deal was equally annoying.
/bitter Giants fan’d
[quote name=Aisle424]That’s true, I was thinking of the local media, who are usually the ones who blow shit up for no good reason.[/quote]Fortunately, the consistent excellence of Biggs, Arkush, Moon Mullin, and Mulligan overshadows the epic idiocy of Potash, Haugh, and Pompei.
I did catch some of Aubrey’s adventures in RF. Pretty entertaining if you’re into slapstick comedy.
new shit: http://www.obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/articles/next-years-bryan-lahair.html