Name: David DeJesus
Position: Right Field
Batting Order Position: 1st? 2nd?
Bats/Throws: Left/Left
Opening Day Age: 32
Uniform Number: Well, 9 (KC) is currently taken by Blake DeWitt and 12 (Oakland) is Alfonso Soriano. Maybe 12 will free up soon?
Is David DeJesus on Twitter?: Yes he is. Go ahead and give him a follow at @spideysabeast12.
UPDATE: Looks like he changed his handle to @David_DeJesus3. If you already followed the Spidey one, it carries over, but now that link is dead.
Is his wife on Twitter?: Yes she is, and she is very excited about her hubby becoming a Cub:
I was born a cubs fan, and now im married to one!!!!!!
COULDNT BE MORE EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOOOO CUBBIES!!!!!!!!!!
She can be found (on Twitter) at @KimDeJesus12
What the hell is this “Spidey” stuff?: According to his wife, Spidey is the nickname for their 18-month old son that David gave to him while she was pregnant. (You won’t get this kind of critical information at BCB, folks.)
Is his wife hot? Um…. yeah. She is objectively pretty hot. Now you’re definitely clicking on that Twitter link, aren’t you?
Baseball-Reference.com’s Most Similar Batter: Marlon Byrd (weird, huh?)
Why we might like him:
- He knows how to take a walk.
- He knows how to run the bases without making stupid outs all the damn time.
- He knows how to catch and throw the ball without allowing the other team extra outs all the damn time.
Why we might hate him:
- This probably means that Tyler Colvin’s time in Chicago is coming to an end. (While I don’t think that is a bad thing, I’m not looking forward to the teeth gnashing.)
- He doesn’t hit for a heck of a lot of power and he’s reportedly going to be a corner outfielder, so that isn’t going to sit well with many fans.
If you rearrange the letters in his name you get: “DEAD SUDS JIVE”
What Cubs Blogosphere Thinks of Him:
Another allure? I get to say “Nobody F’s with the DeJesus” over and over again this year. I can’t wait until the first Enhanced Box Score where DeJesus has a good game… On the balance, it’s a solid move. Not earth-moving, but a good first step. I suspect it’s but one piece of a large, very exciting puzzle.
It’s not that I’m advocating bringing back Fukudome, for one he’s three years older, but it’s hard to see where this improves the team much from the last few years and when you’re at the bottom looking up, that should be the goal. But since this is just move #1 of what I presume to be quite a few more before the offseason ends, we’ll have to reserve some of the judgement on this to a later date. For one, they could be planning to trade Byrd and replacing him with DeJesus and I think that’s a bit of an upgrade. Soriano might be on his way out as well and you do need someone to play these outfield positions. Plus you have to save money somewhere if they do plan to make a run at Fielder or Pujols.
DeJesus will be 32 years old for the 2012 season and is coming off a down year in Oakland where he hit 240/323/376 (309 wOBA) on the year. In his seven seasons in Kansas City, DeJesus put up a line of 289/360/426 (342 wOBA), which looks better but is still only slightly above average for a corner outfielder. In fact, those numbers look awfully similar to a former red headed Cub left fielder that went on to have success in Japan this past season.
On that test I got the Yankees, which is my second favorite team.
I’m not sure I understand why people are looking at this compared to what Fukudome was without considering the savings. The Cubs essentially got Fukudome and paid half price.
[quote name=mb21]I’m not sure I understand why people are looking at this compared to what Fukudome was without considering the savings. The Cubs essentially got Fukudome and paid half price.[/quote]Yeah, I didn’t get that either, but he did acknowledge the savings at the end that may or may not be a part of a grander plan.
[quote name=mb21]I’m not sure I understand why people are looking at this compared to what Fukudome was without considering the savings. The Cubs essentially got Fukudome and paid half price.[/quote]Trying to understand the illogic of Cubs fans is like being placed in a round room and being told to piss in the corner.
I’ll call him Jeezy.
I don’t know. His wife isn’t really doing anything for me. She seems blandly attractive, I guess.
I mean, she dresses nice and has a lot of makeup on. Good for you.
[quote name=josh]I don’t know. His wife isn’t really doing anything for me. She seems blandly attractive, I guess.[/quote]
I’ll flag this one myself.
[quote name=Aisle424]I’ll flag this one myself.[/quote]I’m saying she has manface.
I just read the bcb thread about Aisley ripping rosenbloom…my head hurts from all the ignorance over there
[quote name=josh]I’m saying she has manface.[/quote]
[quote name=AndCounting]I’ll call him Jeezy.[/quote]
This doesn’t get relevant until about the 4:55 mark.
[quote name=Snyds01]I just read the bcb thread about Aisley ripping rosenbloom…my head hurts from all the ignorance over there[/quote]
That’s got to be over a year old.
[quote name=Aisle424]That’s got to be over a year old.[/quote]
it is, but my work blocks twitter and I heard you were doing a bit of flirting, so I thought Id search and see if I could find a way around the block…and found that
[quote name=Aisle424]Yeah, I didn’t get that either, but he did acknowledge the savings at the end that may or may not be a part of a grander plan.[/quote]That’s the thing though, it’s obviously part of a grander plan. This is the first acquisition of the offseason. There’s nearly an entire offseason left. Even if this is all they do, I still think it’s a good deal.
[quote name=Aisle424]
[/quote]Worst Episode Ever.
[quote name=Snyds01]it is, but my work blocks twitter and I heard you were doing a bit of flirting, so I thought Id search and see if I could find a way around the block…and found that[/quote]
(dying laughing) I tried a little good-natured snark and she didn’t seem to get it.
Can we start a band called Good-Natured Snark?
I’m gonna go with hot.
[quote name=Snyds01]I just read the bcb thread about Aisley ripping rosenbloom…my head hurts from all the ignorance over there[/quote]link?
I’m still gonna go with hot.
I’m convinced. Hot.
[quote name=mb21]
I’m convinced. Hot.[/quote]She has large breasts. If that’s what you’re saying, I’ll agree.
[quote name=mb21]link?[/quote]
http://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2010/12/16/1880884/bcbs-aisle-424-takes-down-steve-rosenbloom-and-his-lazy-racism
Wow @ that Sandusky civil complaint. Molested the accuser 100 times. That’s horrifying. They should hang this fucker from a gibbet in Boston harbor.
I’m going to start a new political party, the Josh’s Standards Are Too Damn High Party.
What the fuck. If that isnt a ten then i dont know what is
I kind of see what josh is saying. She’s not not hot, but take away all the grooming and she’s not that not not hot.
[quote name=Suburban kid]I kind of see what josh is saying. She’s not not hot, but take away all the grooming and she’s not that not not hot.[/quote]
I’m not putting her on my Top 5 or anything, but she’s pretty damn hot.
Seeing as I’m so damn brick ugly that my face once made a donkey bray, I try and refrain from commenting on the attractiveness of others.
Except for Paul Sullivan, who is so androdgenously ugly he gives inbreds a bad name
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Seeing as I’m so damn brick ugly that my face once made a donkey bray, I try and refrain from commenting on the attractiveness of others.
Except for Paul Sullivan, who is so androdgenously ugly he gives inbreds a bad name[/quote]
Ah, so you’re the one who took this picture then
[quote name=Suburban kid]I kind of see what josh is saying. She’s not not hot, but take away all the grooming and she’s not that not not hot.[/quote]Yeah, she’s not the hottest chick I’ve ever seen or even close to it, but she’s certainly much better looking than the average person.
Everybody has different tastes though.
[quote name=Berselius]Ah, so you’re the one who took this picture then
I have to agree with the majority that Kim DeJesus is hot. Not super-hot, but definitely someone to whom I’d like to make an acquaintance.
If the Cubs trade Tyler Colvin now, Jesus could wear #21. It’s about time someone who can play every day wore Sosa’s uniform number again. I think all the Cubs players should wear #21 from now on.
[quote name=Rice Cube]I have to agree with the majority that Kim DeJesus is hot. Not super-hot, but definitely someone to whom I’d like to make an acquaintance.[/quote]I don’t have time for acquaintances. I only have time for something that takes 2 minutes. I”m a busy man.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]No man on earth takes more awkward pictures than Lance Berkman. Ye gods.[/quote]I disagree. Here are two examples.
[quote name=mb21]If the Cubs trade Tyler Colvin now, Jesus could wear #21. It’s about time someone who can play every day wore Sosa’s uniform number again. I think all the Cubs players should wear #21 from now on.[/quote]Yes. But only if they phonily hustle and hit home runs that are only self-serving and don’t help the team, and that are hit when the game doesn’t count.
[quote name=mb21]I disagree. Here are two examples.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]But that’s only one awkward photo. Berkman has taken a baker’s dozen of these things.[/quote]I like how MO has basically asked MB if he can post more of those two without actually saying it. Ingenious.
She is by far the hottet chick i would have ever got it in with..
[quote name=GBTS]I like how MO has basically asked MB if he can post more of those two without actually saying it. Ingenious.[/quote]You forgot:
/BOOM. Lawyered.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]But that’s only one awkward photo. Berkman has taken a baker’s dozen of these things.[/quote]I’m going to go out on a limb and say that these two have more than one bizarre photo. (dying laughing)
I guess I have the lowest standards here. I think she’s hot, without any caveats or warnings or disclaimers. No “well she’s not in my Top 5″ or “if she didn’t have makeup…”, etc. Just. Hot.
[quote name=mb21]I’m going to go out on a limb and say that these two have more than one bizarre photo. (dying laughing)[/quote]I think that’s a short limb. (dying laughing)
I hope the DeJesus’s know this blog is discredited.
[quote name=GBTS]I hope the DeJesus’s know this blog is discredited.[/quote]I mean when you marry a broad that hot you know a lot of people going to focus on that
[quote name=Mish]I guess I have the lowest standards here. I think she’s hot, without any caveats or warnings or disclaimers. No “well she’s not in my Top 5″ or “if she didn’t have makeup…”, etc. Just. Hot.[/quote]
My Top 5 is not easy to break into. Seeing as Jennifer Aniston has been on it since the concept of Top 5 lists became part of popular culture on Friends.
[quote name=Mish]I guess I have the lowest standards here. I think she’s hot, without any caveats or warnings or disclaimers. No “well she’s not in my Top 5″ or “if she didn’t have makeup…”, etc. Just. Hot.[/quote]Yeah, but you’d fuck anything that moves.
/standard troll response
[quote name=Rice Cube]Yeah, but you’d fuck anything that moves.
/standard troll response[/quote]
No, that’s pretty much true.
[quote name=mb21]If the Cubs trade Tyler Colvin now, Jesus could wear #21. It’s about time someone who can play every day wore Sosa’s uniform number again. I think all the Cubs players should wear #21 from now on.[/quote]I know there’s about a 95% chance that you’re joking, but I really hate that they just give Sosa’s number away like that.
Jed Hoyer seems to be a good interviewee:
http://muskat.mlblogs.com/2011/11/30/1130-pujols-fielder-wood-the-cba/
[quote name=Mish]I guess I have the lowest standards here. I think she’s hot, without any caveats or warnings or disclaimers. No “well she’s not in my Top 5″ or “if she didn’t have makeup…”, etc. Just. Hot.[/quote]I’d put her picture in the Superfriends over Crane Kenney
HOF ballot!
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/11/30/the-hall-of-fame-ballot-is-announced-bernie-williams-other-luminaries-now-eligible/
[quote name=WenningtonsGorillaCock]I’d put her picture in the Superfriends over Crane Kenney[/quote]I’d put Lance Berkman in there instead of Kenney.
The Cubs Convention is more popular than the Big 10 Title Game.
http://deadspin.com/5863863/someone-is-offering-to-pay-people-75-to-attend-the-big-ten-championship-game
Wanna go to the game? No? How about if we give you $75 and free parking? Anybody?
[quote name=Rice Cube]HOF ballot!
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/11/30/the-hall-of-fame-ballot-is-announced-bernie-williams-other-luminaries-now-eligible//quoteMy guess (a pretty safe one) is only Barry gets in.
Of course, Bagwell won’t get in because he might have done steroids. Serves him right for hitting all those homers.
The way HOF voters have treated Raines is unconscionable.
[quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]The way HOF voters have treated Raines is unconscionable.[/quote]
Yeah, I’m hoping that the absence of any good new first ballot guys will make it easier to look at Raines and say, “He WAS pretty fucking good!”
At some point, if you get too many Faget points on a post, the green goes away.
[quote name=Aisle424]At some point, if you get too many Faget points on a post, the green goes away.[/quote]I think the function died. Too many people disliked me and broke the internet. Serves you all right.
I’m sorry Kim DeJesus and her dead eyes and manface don’t do anything for me. I’ll try to revise my standards of beauty to better conform to averages from here on out.
HOLY SHIT SHE GOT THEM TITTIES!
EDIT: WEEEEWWWW! BIG OH TITTIES!
Saw Aisley has been playing hanky panky with Kim on twitter. You dirty dog.
By my count, josh will not be eating dinner until Spring Training.
[quote name=jtsunami]By my count, josh will not be eating dinner until Spring Training.[/quote]If “dinner” is what you like to call it, then, yeah.
[quote name=josh]I’m sorry Kim DeJesus and her dead eyes and manface don’t do anything for me. I’ll try to revise my standards of beauty to better conform to averages from here on out.[/quote]Some of us are connoisseurs, josh. The others just don’t understand.
[quote name=Hipster Ricketts]Some of us are connoisseurs, josh. The others just don’t understand.[/quote]
I guess this thread can’t get any smarmier so I might as well share this:
http://www.hallofverygood.com/2011/11/anna-bensons-sex-toy-er-weapon.html
[quote name=Aisle424]At some point, if you get too many Faget points on a post, the green goes away.[/quote]I changed something awhile back and it caused that. Now I can’t remember what I changed. (dying laughing)
[quote name=Aisle424]I guess this thread can’t get any smarmier so I might as well share this:
http://www.hallofverygood.com/2011/11/anna-bensons-sex-toy-er-weapon.html/quoteYou mean no one else does this when they fight?
https://twitter.com/#!/NotTomRicketts/status/142004737653489664
(dying laughing)
[quote name=GBTS]https://twitter.com/#!/NotTomRicketts/status/142004737653489664
(dying laughing)[/quote]
“@KimDeJesus12
@NotTomRicketts @bleedcubbieblue hahah uh oh! I smell trouble!”
(dying laughing)
Josh has gotten a lot of negative faget points in this thread. Poor guy.
[quote name=mb21]Josh has gotten a lot of negative faget points in this thread. Poor guy.[/quote]
It’s the only way he’ll learn.
[quote name=mb21]Josh has gotten a lot of negative faget points in this thread. Poor guy.[/quote]The beatings will continue until morale improves.
[quote name=mb21]Josh has gotten a lot of negative faget points in this thread. Poor guy.[/quote]Shouldn’t all his posts that have been negatively fageted turn the color of shame?
[quote name=mb21]Josh has gotten a lot of negative faget points in this thread. Poor guy.[/quote]Y’all can’t hurt me. I’ll go stare at pictures of Christina Hendricks and everything will be all right. You can have Kim DeJesus.
[quote name=josh]Y’all can’t hurt me. I’ll go stare at pictures of Christina Hendricks and everything will be all right. You can have Kim DeJesus.[/quote]Christina Hendricks is also hawt.
[quote name=Twitter]Frank Thomas signs Big Hurt Beer 12/8 from 6p-8p / Grand Champagne Tasting 12/15 5p-8p $20 @BinnysBev Bolingbrook.[/quote](dying laughing)
[quote name=mb21]I changed something awhile back and it caused that. Now I can’t remember what I changed. (dying laughing)[/quote]It’s fixed now.
[quote name=josh] You can have Kim DeJesus.[/quote]
Uh, yeah, that’s the point.
[quote name=josh]Y’all can’t hurt me. I’ll go stare at pictures of Christina Hendricks and everything will be all right. You can have Kim DeJesus.[/quote]I’ll take Christina Hendricks too. Hendricks plus DeJesus would be pretty awesome.
[quote name=Mish]Uh, yeah, that’s the point.[/quote]
This adds a new meaning to “sausage pizza”.
[quote name=Mish]This adds a new meaning to “sausage pizza”.
http://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/375540_10150379479546367_518006366_8614088_1331189803_n.jpg/quoteCareful, you might gag on that.
Quit hacking my blog.
[quote name=mb21]I’ll take Christina Hendricks too. Hendricks plus DeJesus would be pretty awesome.[/quote]Clearly, you are Inspector Dreyfus to josh’s Jacques Clouseau
[quote name=mb21]I’ll take Christina Hendricks too. Hendricks plus DeJesus would be pretty awesome.[/quote]I will kill you with my racist bible.
Al has weighed in:
That Al comment is Fozzie worthy.
Opinions are like assholes. I should know.
[quote name=Al Yellon]Opinions are like assholes. I should know.[/quote]
WTF. Does this guy cover baseball?
[quote name=Mish]WTF. Does this guy cover baseball?[/quote]I am interested in sports and have many strong opinions about them.
[quote name=Al Yellon]I am interested in sports and have many
strongwrong opinions about them.[/quote]/troll[quote name=Rob G.]Quit hacking my blog.[/quote]Glad this finally made it over here. You former ACBers have gotten lazy.
[quote name=Mish]WTF. Does this guy cover baseball?[/quote]I know. It’s hilarious.
[quote name=cdw]Glad this finally made it over here. You former ACBers have gotten lazy.[/quote]Shut it, Brainy Smurf. Maybe it’s phenomenology.
[quote name=Mish]Uh, yeah, that’s the point.[/quote]Yeah, it is the point. if we’re touching our weiners, Kim ——> No chubby; Christina ——–> Chubby. I have no other measure of hotness. It’s neither objective nor rational.
http://espn.go.com/chicago/mlb/story/_/id/7300329/need-carlos-zambrano-part-chicago-cubs
Wow.
[quote name=josh]Yeah, it is the point. if we’re touching our weiners, Kim ——> No chubby; Christina ——–> Chubby. I have no other measure of hotness. It’s neither objective nor rational.[/quote]You should just brown-bag her then and look at her boobs.
It’s not like we’re seriously discussing who our life partners or even who our actual sexual partners could be.
U guys are a gaggle of pigtizzles. Lee Tammers, MAry Gerdle and I said so many tiems as we wrote and sang Cubs songs in the bleachers while MB21 made and used many incorrect numbers incorrectly.
[quote name=Rice Cube]You should just brown-bag her then and look at her boobs.[/quote]The fuck is the point of that? I can see equal or greater boobs free right now anywhere on the internet. Naked ones. Ones in the midst of sexual activity, even. Why do I need hers? Either she brings something to the fap table or she doesn’t. She doesn’t for me.
[quote name=josh]It’s not like we’re seriously discussing who our life partners or even who our actual sexual partners could be.[/quote]Yeah, those women are so much uglier than my wife.
Stop saying I should kill myself. You’re just like that lazy bean-eating Soto.
[quote name=mb21]Yeah, those women are so much uglier than my wife.[/quote]Uglier, prettier, it doesn’t really matter. Since we’re reducing them to sexual objects, I can’t get anything going for Kim DeJesus. I can acknowledge that her breasts are large, judging by the outfits she wears (maybe she has high quality bras, it’s sometimes hard to tell) and that her body is physically fit. To me, those things alone don’t constitute “hot” measured by fappiness. I’m not really looking to upgrade or cheat on my wife. I don’t think she’s interested in letting me pursue Christina Hendricks as a sexual partner. So it’s pretty much just me looking at women and gut reaction deciding if i am attracted to them or not. Kim, not. I don’t see why that means I have “too high” of standards. I don’t want to think about her while I touch myself That’s pretty much all it means.
I think you and your penis are overthinking this, Josh (dying laughing)
To each their own.
I don’t think any of us would. I know I wouldn’t.
[quote name=Rice Cube]I think you and your penis are overthinking this, Josh (dying laughing)
To each their own.[/quote]Fuck you.
Josh, by the way, you don’t have to explain yourself. You don’t like her. I’m sure each of us find women hot who others don’t. Just how it goes.
alien sex files
jerry sandusky
child rape
pedophilia
NAMBLA
Hitler
There, we need to round this thread out with some more search terms that will lead a bunch of freaks to this thread. (dying laughing)
MB, please read up in the thread, we’ve discussed this already.
[quote name=mb21]There, we need to round this thread out with some more search terms that will lead a bunch of freaks to this thread. (dying laughing)[/quote]Too late.
Looks like you guys don’t need an SEO consultant. I feel manipulated into finding this place. Disingenuous. There is only passing discussion of Aliens dressed as hitler raping Rob G’s son while Kurt sits in the corner of BCB fingering the cyst on his anal glands.
Don’t ban me, Bro!
Read this post and the first 4 comments. Tell me you didn’t laugh out loud at the 5th comment: http://www.insidethebook.com/ee/index.php/site/comments/bobby_v_iv/
Wow, #2′s “trick” was exactly what came to my mind when I read the post.
[quote name=mb21]Read this post and the first 4 comments. Tell me you didn’t laugh out loud at the 5th comment: http://www.insidethebook.com/ee/index.php/site/comments/bobby_v_iv//quoteI didn’t at first because I’ve always done “55378008″ but then I figured it out and chuckled.
/funsucker
[quote name=Rice Cube]I think you and your penis are overthinking this, Josh (dying laughing)
To each their own.[/quote]I was banned for life, and a political movement started specifically to challenge whether I was justified.
I felt like I had to defend my position, or at least get a refund on my subscription fee by mentioning keyword “masturbation.”
Jenna Jameson hot nude pics. Sorry, just helping out the SEO there.
[quote name=josh]I was banned for life, and a political movement started specifically to challenge whether I was justified.
I felt like I had to defend my position, or at least get a refund on my subscription fee by mentioning keyword “masturbation.”
Jenna Jameson hot nude pics. Sorry, just helping out the SEO there.[/quote]The political discussion will stop NOW.
Jenna Jameson is a star that josh recently enjoyed.
Wow, these Venezuelan players have ads all over their uniforms.
[quote name=ACT]Wow, these Venezuelan players have ads all over their uniforms.[/quote]There had better not be any for sunflower seeds.
Or maybe every player on one team is named “Coca-Cola.”
[quote name=Bobby Valentine]There had better not be any for sunflower seeds.[/quote]What about fried chicken and beer?
[quote name=ACT]Or maybe every player on one team is named “Coca-Cola.”[/quote]I see that happening in the US, eventually.
[quote name=ACT]What about fried chicken and beer?[/quote]You mean my between-innings snack?
[quote name=josh]I see that happening in the US, eventually.[/quote]It’s easier than relaxing these pesky child labor laws.
I meant branding on the shirts, but also, everyone named Coca-Cola. Like in Jennifer Government, a book I’ve never read.
If I ever become a public figure, I’ll definitely sell my name to the highest bidder.
There’s a lot of talk about women this thread… Especially for a bunch of fagets.
Coca-Cola just made a nice catch, saving a home run.
[quote name=Rodrigo]There’s a lot of talk about women this thread… Especially for a bunch of fagets.[/quote]I agree.
She has gone from around 600 followers when the day started to 1200 as of right now. She really has no idea what sort of creepiness she’s in store for.
[quote name=Aisle424]She has gone from around 600 followers when the day started to 1200 as of right now. She really has no idea what sort of creepiness she’s in store for.[/quote]/heavy breathing
[quote name=Aisle424]She has gone from around 600 followers when the day started to 1200 as of right now. She really has no idea what sort of creepiness she’s in store for.[/quote]I’m sure that she knows how smoking hot she is and can probably handle Mish.
I’m tracking each and every one of you down and kicking your asses.
[quote name=David DeJesus]I’m tracking each and every one of you down and kicking your asses.[/quote]
[quote name=Aisle424]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsXKAtpLm4I[/quote]I love that movie.
…
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Mother mother fuck. Mother mother fuck fuck. Mother fuck mother fuck.
Noise noise noise.
1 2 1 2 3 4
Noise noise noise.
Smokin weed, smokin weed.
Doin’ coke, drinkin beers.
Drinkin beers, beers beers.
Rollin’ fatties, smokin blunts.
Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts.
Rollin’ blunts and smokin um’
15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand.
If that money doesn’t show then you owe me owe me owe.
My jungle love.
Oh e oh e oh.
I think I wanna know ya know ya … yeah, what.
What do you look so shocked for, man? Fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just ’cause he doesn’t say anything, it’ll have some huge impact when he does open his fuckin’ mouth
According to Bunny projections her breasts are worth 5 WAR.
It’s not often I agree with Rick Morrissey, but man, every fucking word on this:
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/9164137-419/cubs-should-ignore-stop-sign-go-for-albert-pujols.html
[quote name=Smokestack Lightning]It’s not often I agree with Rick Morrissey, but man, every fucking word on this:
http://www.suntimes.com/sports/9164137-419/cubs-should-ignore-stop-sign-go-for-albert-pujols.html/quote
I find it easy to disagree with him here. His only argument is “I want Pujols, just sign him for whatever money”.
Well, I don’t think so.
1. Big dollar contract = big risk.
It’s beyond me how someone could even consider the possibilty that Pujols (or anyone else for that matter) could maintain a value of $30 million/year over the course of a 8 yr contract. So if people are already factoring in overpaying him over the course of the contract… well, to what end exactly?
2. The Cubs have so many holes that need to be fixed. The Cubs offense was actually kinda league average last year, while in runs allowed they ranked 14th. Right now, the Cubs don’t even have personnel to man a major league worthy starting rotation.
So there’s a lot to be done and I’d see them spending money around wisely (like DJesus) on 5 or 6 players rather than just adding one big bat that kills any financial flexibility for the next decade.
So josh is a faget?
It’s not like the Cubs are the Pirates here. Even if Pujols is being paid $30mm/yr that’s still only roughly 20% of the payroll.
Without masks/makeup:
If SF wins its remaining NFC games (ARI, SEA and STLx2) —–> No. 2 seed
Breaking Bad —> #1 Show of 2011 by Paste Magazine
http://www.pastemagazine.com/blogs/lists/2011/12/the-25-best-tv-shows-of-2011.html
[quote name=Aisle424]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsXKAtpLm4I[/quote]I can’t view YouTube videos at work, but I rec’d this because I know exactly what it is going to be…
…A montage of boobs. amiright?
[quote name=DamageControlFreak]I find it easy to disagree with him here. His only argument is “I want Pujols, just sign him for whatever money”.
Well, I don’t think so.
1. Big dollar contract = big risk.
It’s beyond me how someone could even consider the possibilty that Pujols (or anyone else for that matter) could maintain a value of $30 million/year over the course of a 8 yr contract. So if people are already factoring in overpaying him over the course of the contract… well, to what end exactly?
2. The Cubs have so many holes that need to be fixed. The Cubs offense was actually kinda league average last year, while in runs allowed they ranked 14th. Right now, the Cubs don’t even have personnel to man a major league worthy starting rotation.
So there’s a lot to be done and I’d see them spending money around wisely (like DJesus) on 5 or 6 players rather than just adding one big bat that kills any financial flexibility for the next decade.[/quote]I didn’t read the article, but Pujols is worth a lot of money. How much money is the question and I know we’ve ran that total here recently, but I can’t remember for sure. I want to say around 8 years and $225 million. I don’t want the Cubs to overpay for Pujols, but if they can sign him to a contract he’s worth at this moment then I’m all for it. It also has nothing to do with his name for what it’s worth. I’d be all for signing any play available if the contract is worth it.
[quote name=Dr. Aneus Taint]
IfSFwins its remaining NFC games (ARI, SEA and STLx2)—–> No. 2 seed[/quote]That’s a redundant statement (dying laughing)
[quote name=Berselius]That’s a redundantly redundant statement (dying laughing)[/quote].
This thread is overflowing with win.
[quote name=Jay]Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Mother mother fuck. Mother mother fuck fuck. Mother fuck mother fuck.
Noise noise noise.
1 2 1 2 3 4
Noise noise noise.
Smokin weed, smokin weed.
Doin’ coke, drinkin beers.
Drinkin beers, beers beers.
Rollin’ fatties, smokin blunts.
Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts.
Rollin’ blunts and smokin um’
15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand.
If that money doesn’t show then you owe me owe me owe.
My jungle love.
Oh e oh e oh.
I think I wanna know ya know ya … yeah, what.[/quote](dying laughing)
[quote name=Berselius]That’s a redundant statement (dying laughing)[/quote]
Dear Berselius,
Parity.
Sincerely,
Pete Rozelle
[quote name=Dr. Aneus Taint]So josh is a faget?[/quote]I have no particular homosexual history, if that’s what you’re asking. I would rate a 0 on the Kinsey scale.
If you’re asking if I’m a troll, I prefer the term “sociologist.” I still don’t think think Kim is attractive, but I probably didn’t need to mention it.
http://textsfrombennett.tumblr.com/
I give this a 65% chance of being authentic.
http://espn.go.com/blog/sweetspot/post/_/id/18825/dont-mess-with-dejesus
The interesting part of that is pointing out that DeJesus took a significant pay cut from what he would have gotten in arbitration (which he wasn’t offered). Sucks for him, but it points to the Cubs getting a really good deal. Maybe the big-name free agents are demanding too high a price, but this type of acquisition is pretty economical.
[quote name=Mish]Without masks/makeup:
[quote name=Berselius]It’s not like the Cubs are the Pirates here. Even if Pujols is being paid $30mm/yr that’s still only roughly 20% of the payroll.[/quote]Saying they will have no flexiblity left is obviously grossly exaggerated, but 30% locked for 8 yrs is still way too many eggs in one basket for my taste. I’d rather see two dozen DeJesus-type deals for that kinda money.
[quote name=mb21]I didn’t read the article, but Pujols is worth a lot of money. How much money is the question and I know we’ve ran that total here recently, but I can’t remember for sure. I want to say around 8 years and $225 million. I don’t want the Cubs to overpay for Pujols, but if they can sign him to a contract he’s worth at this moment then I’m all for it. It also has nothing to do with his name for what it’s worth. I’d be all for signing any play available if the contract is worth it.[/quote]I guess I’m just not Baseball economy savvy enough to get it. Nobody can know what he’s worth since nobody knows how he will perform 3, 5 or even 8 years from now.
To me, it would be logical to try to quantify that risk and discount the perceived value accordingly.
Besides. judging from how other $100 million contracts have panned out, it seems teams generally don’t have a great judgment when handing out these contracts. In a way the team who ends up signing a big free agent is not neccesarily the cleverest, but maybe just the one with the least amount of realistic thinking.
To be fair, none of these objections have anything to do with Pujols himself. Me just not like monster contracts.
(dying laughing)
http://petzrawr.posterous.com/baseketball-came-so-close-to-predicting-what
[quote name=DamageControlFreak]I guess I’m just not Baseball economy savvy enough to get it. Nobody can know what he’s worth since nobody knows how he will perform 3, 5 or even 8 years from now.
To me, it would be logical to try to quantify that risk and discount the perceived value accordingly.
Besides. judging from how other $100 million contracts have panned out, it seems teams generally don’t have a great judgment when handing out these contracts. In a way the team who ends up signing a big free agent is not neccesarily the cleverest, but maybe just the one with the least amount of realistic thinking.
To be fair, none of these objections have anything to do with Pujols himself. Me just not like monster contracts.[/quote]Projecting how a player will perform in the future is exactly the point of these sorts of statistics. Saying we can’t “know” is beside the point. You weigh what his projected value is in terms of win will be versus what that amount of wins is worth to you. Obviously there is risk. There is also reward. You make the best deals you can based on the information you have. It makes no sense to scream and run everytime someone wants to get paid. You have to make the offers you think will net you the value a player is expected to project. It turns out the projections tend to line up with reality in statistically large enough set that they are useful. Risk is included. Besides, if you sign 12 David DeJesus’s where to they play? What value does DD have at first base? Are there even 12 DD’s available to sign or trade for, one at each position? You have to work within the bounds of what is available and what is realistic.
I think Cubs fans have been trained to shy away from monster contracts because past GMs made poor decisions when giving them out. In the hands of a capable staff, there is no reason a monster contract can’t be a good thing for a baseball team. Just ask the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. Those teams don’t win every year by accident.
[quote name=GBTS]http://petzrawr.posterous.com/baseketball-came-so-close-to-predicting-what[/quote]That’s uncanny.
[quote name=Rice Cube]I didn’t at first because I’ve always done “55378008″ but then I figured it out and chuckled.
/funsucker[/quote]
[quote name=josh]Just ask the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. Those teams don’t win every year by accident.[/quote]Pssht. Only two World Series in the past five years.
[quote name=GBTS]Pssht. Only two World Series in the past five years.[/quote]Underachievers.
[quote name=GBTS]Pssht. Only two World Series in the past five years.[/quote]They only win the World Series when it doesn’t matter.
[quote name=josh]They only win the World Series when it doesn’t matter.[/quote]That should be the new Cubs Way. They should just tell everyone in the organization that it doesn’t matter. That level of apathy should generate at least ten World Series championships.
[quote name=Rice Cube]That should be the new Cubs Way. They should just tell everyone in the organization that it doesn’t matter. That level of apathy should generate at least ten World Series championships.[/quote]
Did anyone ever post the video of this?
http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=7256751
[quote name=GBTS]Did anyone ever post the video of this?
http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=7256751/quoteThe line drive to the face wasn’t very cool, but the play to get the out as if nothing had happened was great. I think Z is supposed to start again next week.
[quote name=GBTS]Did anyone ever post the video of this?
http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=7256751/quote
I don’t care what anybody says. Zambrano is a badass motherfucker and I want him on my team. He got drilled in the face and it barely phased him.
[quote name=Aisle424]I don’t care what anybody says. Zambrano is a badass motherfucker and I want him on my team. He got drilled in the face and it barely phased him.[/quote]Zambrano, so upset that he gave up a line drive in an exhibition game, took his anger out on the baseball and tried to break it with his face.
/sullivan’d
[quote name=Aisle424]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9mf3Bypyk8[/quote]Mr. GorillaCock should e-mail that to the Ricketts as the new Cubs locker room motivational speech.
[quote name=GBTS]Zambrano, so upset that he gave up a line drive in an exhibition game, took his anger out on the baseball and tried to break it with his face.
/sullivan’d[/quote]It was kind of annoying to read all the comments about how that line dirve would’ve knocked some sense into him, but I guess he deserves some of it.
I really like how his initial reaction wasn’t “ouch” but rather “Hey, where’s the ball? Oh there it is…” and made the out. I applauded.
[quote name=DamageControlFreak]I guess I’m just not Baseball economy savvy enough to get it. Nobody can know what he’s worth since nobody knows how he will perform 3, 5 or even 8 years from now.
To me, it would be logical to try to quantify that risk and discount the perceived value accordingly.
Besides. judging from how other $100 million contracts have panned out, it seems teams generally don’t have a great judgment when handing out these contracts. In a way the team who ends up signing a big free agent is not neccesarily the cleverest, but maybe just the one with the least amount of realistic thinking.
To be fair, none of these objections have anything to do with Pujols himself. Me just not like monster contracts.[/quote]Is that bolded part true though? I’m going to spend a few minutes looking into it. My initial reaction is that $100 million contracts to pitchers have almost always ended badly. Then again, most longterm contracts to pitchers end badly. I don’t think that’s true for hitters, but I’m not sure so I’m going to look.
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/blog/big_league_stew/post/David-DeJesus-8217-wife-is-a-tad-happy-he-sign?urn=mlb-wp27725
It’s like she’s made of sunshine and rainbows.
Parks and Rec characters get their own sigils/words a la Game of Thrones: http://smartsandwich.tumblr.com/post/13528980382/so-i-guess-this-is-how-i-spend-my-time-nowadays
Here are $100 million players (bolded players contract has expired):
1. Alex Rodriguez, $275,000,000 (2008-17)
2. Alex Rodriguez, $252,000,000 (2001-10)
3. Derek Jeter, $189,000,000 (2001-10)
4. Joe Mauer, $184,000,000 (2011-18)
5. Mark Teixeira, $180,000,000 (2009-16)
6. CC Sabathia, $161,000,000 (2009-15)
7. Manny Ramirez, $160,000,000 (2001-08)
. . Matt Kemp, $160,000,000 (2012-19)
9. Troy Tulowitzki, $157,750,000 (2011-20)
10. Adrian Gonzalez, $154,000,000 (2012-18)
11. Miguel Cabrera, $152,300,000 (2008-15)
12. Carl Crawford, $142,000,000 (2011-17)
13. Todd Helton, $141,500,000 (2003-11)
14. Johan Santana, $137,500,000 (2008-13)
15. Alfonso Soriano, $136,000,000 (2007-14)
16. Vernon Wells, $126,000,000 (2008-14)
. . . Barry Zito, $126,000,000 (2007-13)
. . . Jayson Werth, $126,000,000 (2011-17)
19. Ryan Howard, $125,000,000 (2012-16)
20. CC Sabathia, $122,000,000 (2012-16)
21. Mike Hampton, $121,000,000 (2001-08)
22. Jason Giambi, $120,000,000 (2002-08)
. . . Matt Holliday, $120,000,000 (2010-16)
. . . Cliff Lee, $120,000,000 (2011-15)
25. Carlos Beltran, $119,000,000 (2005-11)
26. Ken Griffey Jr., $116,500,000 (2000-08)
27. Kevin Brown, $105,000,000 (1999-2005)
28. Carlos Lee, $100,000,000 (2007-12)
. . . Albert Pujols, $100,000,000 (2004-10)
The A-Rod contract was undoubtedly a good one. Derek Jeter performed quite well, but wasn’t as valuable as he was paid. Part of that was that the value per win hasn’t increased in several years. Manny’s was definitely a good one. The same is true for Helton. Mike Hampton’s sucked, but he’s a pitcher so you can’t let that get in the way of signing a position player to that kind of contract. Jason Giambi’s contract looked very bad in the end. Beltran produced just barely above what he was paid so it was a good contract. Junior’s was a pretty bad contract.
So that’s 4 good contracts (A-Rod, Manny, Helton, Beltran), an OK one (Jeter), and two poor ones (Giambi, Junior).
I’d actually say, considering the amount of risk and what teams can’t possible know that these elite stars have not only produced well, but have produced at a level matching or exceeding their pay at a greater rate than the average ballplayer does.
I missed Pujols’s contract too. So that’s 5 good ones, a decent one, and two bad ones. Only 2 of the 8 ended up being bad contracts.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Mr. GorillaCock should e-mail that to the Ricketts as the new Cubs locker room motivational speech.[/quote]if they’re willing to bring me in, I’ll deliver it personally before every game
[quote name=mb21]I missed Pujols’s contract too. So that’s 5 good ones, a decent one, and two bad ones. Only 2 of the 8 ended up being bad contracts.[/quote]Pujols’ contract was a crazy discount though. Whoever signs him next is going to have to pay the interest.
[quote name=WenningtonsGorillaCock]if they’re willing to bring me in, I’ll deliver it personally before every game[/quote]You could be better than Ichiro before All-Star Games.
Yeah, it was a huge discount, but it was still a $100 million contract that had a lot of risk.
I think the main reason for being wary of huge contracts is not the average projection over the long term, but the spread of projections. A player is far more likely to underperform his projection (e.g., by having a significant injury or decline early on) than to outperform over many years. In other words, a player might be worth the contract, but if he falls short, he could fall way short.
I agree, ACT, but I also don’t want the Cubs to avoid the best players in baseball because of the risk. The Royals and Pirates have to avoid those risks. The Cubs can afford it and they should be active in pursuing the best players. They’ll come at a high cost and with great risk, but one 6-WAR player is better than two 3-WAR players.
Pretty good read about the Boston motives behind choosing Bobby Valentine:
http://www.weei.com/sports/boston/baseball/red-sox/alex-speier/2011/12/01/v-victory-now-how-bobby-valentine-became-red-s
[quote name=mb21]one 6-WAR player is better than two 3-WAR players.[/quote]Yes, this
I ran a whole bunch of various parameters into a 7-year projection for Pujols and am going to publish the results in an hour or so.
[quote name=mb21]I ran a whole bunch of various parameters into a 7-year projection for Pujols and am going to publish the results in an hour or so.[/quote]Pujols tease
[quote name=cdw]Pujols tease[/quote]OMG INNUENDO
Bobby Valentine —> 2-year deal
Presser at 5:30 (Eastern I presume)
I’ve heard so many Cubs fans dismiss Fielder/Pujols as ridiculous targets for the Cubs because of the enormous contracts. They’re like people who have given up on love. We can’t let what happened with Sori stop us from trying to find the right person. He’s out there somewhere. We don’t have to settle for DeJesus.
How the fuck did Dave Van Dyck get on the HOF VC panel?
I know the position’s been filled but it’d be kind of cool if they could lure Kim Ng to the Cubs in some capacity:
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2011/12/gm-candidate-kim-ng.html
UChicago grad too. Probably not going to happen but someone in the Superfriends gif below should play the role of Hawkgirl or Black Canary.
[quote name=mb21]I agree, ACT, but I also don’t want the Cubs to avoid the best players in baseball because of the risk. The Royals and Pirates have to avoid those risks. The Cubs can afford it and they should be active in pursuing the best players. They’ll come at a high cost and with great risk, but one 6-WAR player is better than two 3-WAR players.[/quote]It’s a matter of trying to be as smart as you can be about the risk, with the information you have.
Looking at Griffey’s first year with the Reds. 5.1 fWAR. they must have been shitting themselves imagining how good they had made out.
My problem with going 8 or 9 years on Pujols (or anyone right now) is that the reward that could come from the signing is diluted by the general crappiness of the team. Pujols could come here and be his normal self, but will that impede the teams’ ability to put a team around him that can elevate to the next level?
If we were a 6 WAR player away from being a contender, I’d say go for it, but we are more than that.
I would love for the Cubs to offer him a deal for something like 7 years, but with an opt-out after the 5th, and with the vesting options for an 8th and 9th year.
If he’s awesome, the Cubs are going to win a lot of games over the next 5 years, revenues will be through the roof and they can afford to extend him.
If he give decent value, but not other-wordly, maybe he opts out and we let him go because it is 5 years from now and hopefully our farm system can replace a 37 year old version of him by then. Or he sticks with it since he’s on pace to meet his vesting options and we get a guy who may end up being a little expensive at the end, but overall totally worth it.
If he sucks, we have him for 7 years instead of the 8 or 9 that a guaranteed contract would put us on the hook for.
I could see him going for it, because the Cubs can offer the same guaranteed money as the Cards, but over a shorter period with an option to earn even more, so that would appeal to his ego. Plus if he continues to be mega awesome, he can push for an even bigger tail end of the contract when the time comes.
Meanwhile the Cubs minimize their risk if he’s terrible (which I doubt he would be, but this is the Cubs we’re talking about). They have the money in the future since Soriano is the only big money left on the books after this year.
They’d be paying Pujols about what they paid Lee and Ramirez combined, which wasn’t the end of the world in a vacuum, but they were also paying Soriano, Fukudome, Dempster, Lilly, Milton/Silva, and Zambrano.
this thread only proves that Josh doesn’t like anything.
That and alien porn
To me, if they sign Pujy, they are looking to contend in the near future. I would see Pujols as a piece to include a couple more DeJesuses to get on base and play defense and all that. MB’s plan of going after Darvish or another young pitcher would be a necessary piece as well, I think. I could see them assembling a winning team around Pujols within a couple years. I think it moves the timetable up.
[quote name=dylanj]this thread only proves that Josh doesn’t like anything.
That and alien porn[/quote]WHISKEY!!
How many fucking times do I have to say this?
I really want to see them do something to improve at 2B. Anything other than another season of Darwin
[quote name=josh]WHISKEY!!
How many fucking times do I have to say this?[/quote]If someone was about to set all the whiskey in the world on fire, and he told you the only way he wouldn’t do it was if you banged Ms. DeJesus while he murdered Christina Hendricks, what would you do?
[quote name=GBTS]If someone was about to set all the whiskey in the world on fire, and they told you the only way they wouldn’t do it was if you banged Ms. DeJesus while he murdered Christina Hendricks, what would you do?[/quote]Diabolical…
Edit: WWJD (what would josh do)?
[quote name=AndCounting]I’ve heard so many Cubs fans dismiss Fielder/Pujols as ridiculous targets for the Cubs because of the enormous contracts. They’re like people who have given up on love. We can’t let what happened with Sori stop us from trying to find the right person. He’s out there somewhere. We don’t have to settle for DeJesus.[/quote]I understand the concern. If they sign Pujols and he gets injured the Cubs are in a lot of trouble. I think it’s a risk worth taking (not necessarily Pujols, but other contracts like that).
The drum Theo’s beating right now is starting pitching. According to everyone covering the Cubs at this very moment.
[quote name=AndCounting]The drum Theo’s beating right now is starting pitching. According to everyone covering the Cubs at this very moment.[/quote]Translation: No clue what the plan is so let’s make something up.
My concern with waiting to sign players until you’re contenders is that if you do that you’ll never be contenders. I also understand what 424 is saying, but if you sign Pujols you’re going to contend soon. Perhaps not in 2012, but soon.
My thought is that if Theo lands Pujols, it means we’re running higher payrolls for the next few seasons and that money won’t be an issue to land additional players to get this team contending.
[quote name=WenningtonsGorillaCock]
[/quote]Just. WOW.
[quote name=Rice Cube]Diabolical…
[/quote]Reminds me of the end of Batman Forever.
[quote name=GBTS]Reminds me of the end of Batman Forever.[/quote]Ah, so you were also wondering why the Batsuit had nipples.
[quote name=GBTS]If someone was about to set all the whiskey in the world on fire, and he told you the only way he wouldn’t do it was if you banged Ms. DeJesus while he murdered Christina Hendricks, what would you do?[/quote]Let it burn. Honestly, I don’t even really like whiskey that much.
[quote name=GBTS]Reminds me of the end of Batman Forever.[/quote]I loved that movie.
[quote name=mb21]Just. WOW.[/quote]That’s the one that makes me think its fake. I don’t know if it’s possible for someone to have knowledge of Van Gogh and his ear, and yet be stupid enough to mistake it for Vince Vaughn.
[quote name=josh]Let it burn. Honestly, I don’t even really like whiskey that much.[/quote](dying laughing)
He is consistent, can’t fault him for that.
http://www.lostlettermen.com/11-29-2011-spud-webb-coaching-strippers/
This is simultaneously strange and cool.
josh and i are polar opposites. outside of a pair of epic breasts christina hendricks is pretty hideous imho.
[quote name=josh]I loved that movie.[/quote]Josh’s standards can no longer be described as “high” per se.
new shit: http://www.obstructedview.net/articles/major-league-baseball/how-much-is-pujols-worth.html
[quote name=AndCounting]Josh’s standards can no longer be described as “high” per se.[/quote]You’re my favorite OVblogger.
mindfuck