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  • D'oh! Cubs, D'oh!

    The Cubs have had injury problems.  This is not a secret.  Tom Ricketts will tell anyone with a camera or a microphone about the injuries and how they ruined a perfectly good baseball team. But when you look at the injuries piled up together and and see how the Opening Day roster has been beaten within an inch of its life, it is hard not to just stare slack-jawed at the carnage.

    So let’s do just that:

    Starters

    The starters have been the most heavily decimated. If Dempster ends up having to be DLed, that means 100% of the Opening Day rotation will have spent time on the Disabled List and it isn’t even the All-Star Break yet.

    Ryan Dempster – He’s been one of the more healthy pitchers for most of the year, but now he has a sore back, or intestines, or something. Nobody seems all that certain what is wrong with him.

    Someone mentioned to Quade that his wife had that same soreness when she was pregnant.
    “I don’t think he’s having a baby,” Quade said. “That would just about do it. If that’s the case, then we really had an interesting first half.”

    At this point, I don’t think the Cubs can absolutely rule anything out.  This is the Cubs, afterall.

    Carlos Zambrano – Currently on the Disabled List with a sore back. BUT THAT DIDN’T STOP HIM FROM LOBBING A SOFTBALL AND POSING FOR PICTURES!!! ZOMG!!! HE IS ALL THAT IS WRONG WITH THE CUBS AND AMERICA!!!

    Matt Garza – Went down in May with elbow tightness. He’s back and he threw 114 pitches in his complete game loss to the White Sox, so it seems like he’s OK. For now.

    keep-your-fingers-crossed06

    Randy Wells – Made one start and was disabled with forearm tightness.  He didn’t return until May 28th after we had endured starts by Casey Coleman, James Russell, and Doug Davis.  Of course, now we have to endure his starts, which are almost as bad, so there really is no winning here.

    Andrew Cashner – Made one start and has never been seen again. The Cubs say it is a shoulder issue.  I think he’s been kidnapped by aliens.

    Bullpen

    The Opening Day bullpen has been relatively healthy, but they are not completely immune.

    Carlos Marmol – The action on Marmol’s slider makes me think he is always one pitch away from a visit to Dr. James Andrews, but he just keeps going out there and throwing those pitches with no particular knowledge of where they will end up.  Hooray!

    Kerry Wood – The good news is that Kerry has not had elbow or shoulder issues.  The bad news is that he was held out of a few games earlier in the year with a bade back, and then he made his customary trip to the DL with blister problems. All in all, this has been a really healthy year for Kerry Wood.

    Sean Marshall – still healthy.  Shhhh!!!!

    jennifer-aniston-smartwater-hush-01

    John Grabow – still healthy. This may be the only thing he does well.

    Jeff Samardzija – still healthy.  I know he’s supposedly now one of the “good” options in the bullpen thanks to the injuries, but he still scares the bejeezus out of me.

    bruce

    James Russell – still healthy.  Which is good as long as he stays in the bullpen.  I don’t care if the entire rotation goes on the disabled list at the same time.  This man should never ever start another game.  I should start before James Russell does.

    Marcos Mateo – He was healthy but bad.  Then he suddenly turned it up to eleven, blew away batters for five innings after Zambrano got hurt, and now he’s hurt with a sore elbow. Of course he is.  We don’t know MRI results yet, but I’m just assuming that Dr. Andrews is penciling him into his appointment calendar.

    Catchers

    Any catcher on this team getting hurt besides Geovany Soto probably helps, so it stands to reason that Geovany Soto is the one catcher that got hurt.

    Geovany Soto – Went down for almost three weeks with a left groin strain.  Not that it mattered much since this is a Bad Geo year, but even Bad Geo is better than Koyie Hill.

    Koyie Hill – Still healthy.  Somebody get this guy a home improvement project he can work on.

    Infielders

    The infield stayed pretty healthy for awhile and we were able to really focus on all the pitching injuries.  They’re starting to catch up lately so the Cubs may want to bubble-wrap Starlin Castro when he’s not playing.

    Carlos Pena – Pena never served actual time on the disabled list, but he had a troublesome thumb early on that may or may not have contributed to his total of zero homeruns in the month of April.

    Jeff Baker – Left the game last night after injuring his back while making a throwing error. This is probably the consumate Cubs injury.  I’m just glad it didn’t involve burned ass hairs.

    Darwin Barney – Scored the winning run on June 13th and hurt his knee in the process. Some said it was a Grade 1 strain.  Others said it was a Grade 3.  He’s back without the aid of crutches or a Rascal, so I’m assuming the reporters that said it was Grade 1 were correct.

    Starlin Castro – Still healthy.

    elmer_fudd_hunting

    Aramis Ramirez – Still healthy.

    shhhh1

    Blake DeWitt – Still healthy.  The guy with the .639 OPS who barely made the team out of Spring Training is still healthy. Of course he is.

    Outfielders

    You have to wonder what sort of calamities have befallen a team that has caused it to regularly field lineups with infielders playing in the outfield, and worse yet, Tony Campana.

    Alfonso Soriano – Soriano hurt his quad while trying to beat out a throw to first that caused him to miss about half of June. People wonder why he looks so slow all the time.  That’s why.

    Marlon Byrd – He got hit with a pitch that broke his face.  That is really all that needs to be said.  Our starting centerfielder had a broken face that could have easily blinded him.

    Kosuke Fukudome – Still healthy.

    636_Obama_shhh_3

    Tyler Colvin – Still healthy.  But he sucks and is now swinging at every damn pitch in the minors.

    Reed Johnson – He hurt his back, went on the DL and then got hit in the face with a pitch during his rehab stint.  Seriously.  If that doesn’t pretty much sum up the Cubs season in a nutshell, I don’t know what does.

    Wait… maybe this does:


    250 Responses to “D'oh! Cubs, D'oh!”

    1. 1 ACT says:

      While Soto’s production has been disappointing, I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s having a “bad” year. His offense has been league average, which is good for a catcher, and his defensive stats are good thanks to his improved caught stealing rate. His hitting numbers should improve when those liners he keeps hitting find holes (which has been happening lately).

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    2. 2 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      False.

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    3. 3 Aisle424 says:

      Soto’s OPS has been below .700 after 35 of the 62 games he’s played, so he’s been below average for a majority of the year and that is not what our expectation was for him. So in a simple blurb, I’m perfectly comfortable using the word “bad.”

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    4. 4 Aisle424 says:

      I mostly wrote this post as an excuse to use a picture of naked Jennifer Aniston. Any useful information that may or may not be present is purely extraneous.

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    5. 5 GW says:

      I’d be surprised if vogelbach doesn’t sign. I read a quote from his dad somewhere saying they submitted a figure to all the teams before the draft.

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    6. 7 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Aisle424]I mostly wrote this post as an excuse to use a picture of naked Jennifer Aniston. Any useful information that may or may not be present is purely extraneous.[/quote]I’m sorry but this is only an acceptable excuse for posts containing gifs of Sofia Vergara. I’m writing to the OV Blog Executive Board of Excellence in Blogging and demanding your removal, without interpose delay. I will also demand they withhold dinner. And softball.

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    7. 8 Berselius says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I’m sorry but this is only an acceptable excuse for posts containing gifs of Sofia Vergara or Salma Hayek. I’m writing to the OV Blog Executive Board of Excellence in Blogging and demanding your removal, without interpose delay. I will also demand they withhold dinner. And softball.[/quote].

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    8. 9 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=GW]http://www.news-press.com/article/20110608/SPORTS/106080393/Southwest-Florida-MLB-s-spotlight[/quote]
      Vogelbach looks like the Thing before he became the Thing. He could probably also stop a semi-truck just by standing in front of it.

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    9. 10 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Berselius].[/quote]Excellent edit.

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    10. 11 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Vogelbach looks like he ate Glendon Rusch.

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    11. 12 Berselius says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Excellent edit.[/quote]
      I was floored that it wasn’t your go-to choice.

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    12. 13 Rice Cube says:

      Cubs have a chance to get 1.5 games “ahead” of KC tonight. Could’ve been 2.5 games but KC forgot how to win in the first game of the series. D’oh.

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    13. 14 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Berselius]I was floored that it wasn’t your go-to choice.[/quote]I promise not to eat dinner or play softball.

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    14. 15 Berselius says:

      Seattle Mariners 2011 offense: .226/.293/.337

      The 2011 Chicago Cubs: Hey, It Could Be Worse

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    15. 16 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Berselius]Seattle Mariners 2011 offense: .226/.293/.337

      The 2011 Chicago Cubs: Hey, It Could Be Worse[/quote]
      The AL West is terrible. Lucky the Mariners have decent-ish pitching.

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    16. 17 Rice Cube says:

      Angels and Rangers five games over .500, tied for division lead at the start of today. Think one of them could use Pena?

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    17. 18 Berselius says:

      [quote name=Rice Cube]Angels and Rangers five games over .500, tied for division lead at the start of today. Think one of them could use Pena?[/quote]
      Maybe the Angels will trade for Soriano to complement Vernon Wells (dying laughing)

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    18. 19 Rice Cube says:

      Pujols mutant super-healing —> complete (playing 1B, batting third)

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    19. 20 Aisle424 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I’m sorry but this is only an acceptable excuse for posts containing gifs of Sofia Vergara. I’m writing to the OV Blog Executive Board of Excellence in Blogging and demanding your removal, without interpose delay. I will also demand they withhold dinner. And softball.[/quote]
      Motion denied.

      So sayeth the Supreme Overlord of all Chair-Based Furniture and First Tiger.

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    20. 21 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Rice Cube]Pujols mutant super-healing —> complete (playing 1B, batting third)[/quote]Albert Pujols is Wolverine.

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    21. 22 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Aisle424]Motion denied.

      So sayeth the Supreme Overlord of all Chair-Based Furniture and First Tiger.[/quote]I’ll appeal. This is an outrage.

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    22. 23 Aisle424 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I’ll appeal. This is an outrage.[/quote]
      Appeal denied.

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    23. 24 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Aisle424]Appeal denied.[/quote]
      Woooo…shut him right up (dying laughing)

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    24. 25 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Aisle424]Appeal denied.[/quote]I’m Irish. You know what comes next:

      then

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    25. 26 Aisle424 says:

      I’ll flag that one myself.

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    26. 27 Aisle424 says:

      Even though the Cubs weren’t one of a dozen clubs that had meetings with the Vogelbachs, the Cubs did consider taking him with the ninth pick in the first round, they said.

      At least they only ALMOST took a 2nd round guy with a Top 10 pick.

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    27. 28 Aisle424 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I’m Irish. You know what comes next:

      then
      [/quote]
      I actually love Irish Car Bombs.

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    28. 29 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Aisle424]I’ll flag that one myself.[/quote]Blatant anti-Irish sentiment.

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    29. 30 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Aisle424]I actually love Irish Car Bombs.[/quote]Those are simply the ruination of perfectly good Guinness and Jameson, and I won’t even entertain their actual existence.

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    30. 32 Aisle424 says:

      Quade’s cap had a patch with the All-Star logo attached to the left side. He will be a coach on National League manager Bruce Bochy’s staff for the game July 12 in Phoenix.

      “I understand the players wearing it, and I’m thrilled and honored, but it’s a players’ thing,” Quade said of the All-Star Game. “It’s the players’ game. When I saw {the patch}, I thought it was a spoof. I said, ‘Otis, get that out of here.’”

      “Otis” is Tom Hellman, the Cubs’ clubhouse manager.

      How come he’s not “Helly?”

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    31. 33 Aisle424 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Those are simply the ruination of perfectly good Guinness and Jameson, and I won’t even entertain their actual existence.[/quote]
      I meant actual Irish Car Bombs. They blow up real good.

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    32. 34 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Aisle424]I meant actual Irish Car Bombs. They blow up real good.[/quote]Booooooooo

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    33. 35 Rice Cube says:

      Wish my dad had a sense of humor.

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    34. 36 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Vogelbach looks like he ate Glendon Rusch for breakfast and washed it down with Mountain Dew and two pieces of cake.[/quote].

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    35. 37 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Aisle424]At least they only ALMOST took a 2nd round guy with a Top 10 pick.[/quote]That would have been just as surprising as taking the guy they did. I expected someone ranked 180th.

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    36. 38 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Aisle424]How come he’s not “Helly?”[/quote]Quade doesn’t allow unclean language in the clubhouse.

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    37. 39 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=mb21]Vogelbach looks like he ate Glendon Rusch for breakfast and washed it down with Mountain Dew and two pieces of Carlos Silva.[/quote]
      .

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    38. 40 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder].[/quote]
      Carlos Silva is a satelite of Dan Vogelbach. They’re close to the same size though so maybe they’re more like a binary system.

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    39. 41 Aisle424 says:

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    40. 42 ACT says:

      Sounds like Q will by trying Barney in the 8-hole for a while. Good-ish news.

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    41. 43 GBTS says:

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    42. 44 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      (dying laughing)
      (dying laughing)
      (dying laughing)
      This thread just got real thanks to Geebee and Aisley

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    43. 45 dylanj says:

      irish car bombs are good. fuck mayo

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    44. 46 Aisle424 says:

      (dying laughing)
      (dying laughing)

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    45. 47 GBTS says:

      I would say we need to leave this thread up til tomorrow so Ryno can see that pic, but he probably made it.

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    46. 48 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=dylanj]irish car bombs are good. fuck mayo[/quote]Those things are an abomination. God will judge all those who consume them.

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    47. 49 Rice Cube says:

      10 pitches (dying laughing) (dying laughing)

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    48. 50 ACT says:

      If I remember, Castro had 2 strikes looking, so it’s not that he was impatient.

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    49. 51 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=ACT]If I remember, Castro had 2 strikes looking, so it’s not that he was impatient.[/quote]
      1-1 count. S’okay, Cubs lose.

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    50. 52 Rice Cube says:

      Soto trade value —> up

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    51. 53 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Jeebus, Wells is not fooling anyone tonight.

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    52. 54 Rice Cube says:

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    53. 55 Berselius says:

      Peenya!

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    54. 56 ACT says:

      Pena! Glad to see that Q no longer rests him against southpaws.

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    55. 57 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      PEENYA!

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    56. 58 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Marlon Byrd’s trip to the DL didn’t do anything to improve his patience.

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    57. 59 Rice Cube says:

      Soriano couldn’t get all of that one. Up to Barney now.

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    58. 60 Rice Cube says:

      Ah, good #8 hitter.

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    59. 61 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      MB, I think you need to keep working on your Halloween costume, but props on the total coverage: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lif3yxIehe1qbwn05o1_400.jpg

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    60. 62 Berselius says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]MB, I think you need to keep working on your Halloween costume, but props on the total coverage: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lif3yxIehe1qbwn05o1_400.jpg/quote
      I still think no halloween costume will ever top this one

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    61. 63 uncle dave says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Those things are an abomination. God will judge all those who consume them.[/quote]Have enough of them and you might get the same treatment from a jury of your peers.

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    62. 64 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Berselius]I still think no halloween costume will ever top this one

      [/quote]Oh, indeed.

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    63. 65 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=uncle dave]Have enough of them and you might get the same treatment from a jury of your peers.[/quote]As one should.

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    64. 66 Berselius says:

      What is this outfield defense shit? I thought I was watching a Cubs game.

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    65. 67 Rice Cube says:

      TOOTBLAN!

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    66. 68 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Berselius]What is this outfield defense shit? I thought I was watching a Cubs game.[/quote]It’s amazing what can happen when CF can throw the ball more than 4 ft. on the fly.

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    67. 69 Rice Cube says:

      Tom Gorzelanny bunts better than Tony Campana.

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    68. 70 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]It’s amazing what can happen when CF can throw the ball more than 4 ft. on the fly.[/quote]
      Helped by the fact that Ramos is slower than my grandmother.

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    69. 71 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Yay giving away outs!

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    70. 72 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Rice Cube]Tom Gorzelanny bunts better than Tony Campana.[/quote]Can throw further, too.

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    71. 73 Rice Cube says:

      Bah…Rami missed that one.

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    72. 74 Berselius says:

      Cubs are hitting Gorz hard today.

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    73. 75 Rice Cube says:

      If only the outfield fence were five feet closer.

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    74. 76 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Berselius]Cubs are hitting Gorz hard today.[/quote]Lots of contact by both teams. Methinks this would be a much different scoreline in Wrigley.

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    75. 77 bubblesdachimp says:

      I like Pena

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    76. 78 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Might as well have been wearing the big purple suit there.

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    77. 79 Rice Cube says:

      Headfirst slide —-> bad for Espinosa

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    78. 80 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      I don’t think Morse could possibly look like any more of a smarmy douchebag than he does in his MLB.com photo.

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    79. 81 Mercurial Outfielder says:

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    80. 82 Rice Cube says:

      TOOTBLAN again.

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    81. 83 mb21 says:

      tHis teem iznt any good on the bases.

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    82. 84 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      So much for Bob Dernier fixing the Cubs inept baserunning.

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    83. 85 mb21 says:

      To spice things up in DC, the Nats really should consider replacing the presidents they use in those races with presidents under the Articles of Confederation.

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    84. 86 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]So much for Bob Dernier fixing the Cubs inept baserunning.[/quote]There ain’t no fixin the Cubs baserunning issues. They flat out fucking suck.

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    85. 87 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]MB, I think you need to keep working on your Halloween costume, but props on the total coverage: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lif3yxIehe1qbwn05o1_400.jpg/quote(dying laughing)

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    86. 88 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=mb21]To spice things up in DC, the Nats really should consider replacing the presidents they use in those races with presidents under the Articles of Confederation.[/quote]Or with dictators we installed, and subsequently deposed. “Bring out the kids to see the Noriega-Pinochet-Aristide-Hussein race!”

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    87. 89 mb21 says:

      Wells isn’t a bad pitcher by any means, but he’s quite possibly the least exciting Cubs pitcher I’ve seen in my lifetime.

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    88. 90 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Or with dictators we installed, and subsequently deposed. “Bring out the kids to see the Noriega-Pinochet-Aristide-Hussein race!”[/quote]
      I’d pay to see that.

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    89. 91 ACT says:

      Gorzo?!

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    90. 92 GBTS says:

      [quote name=mb21]To spice things up in DC, the Nats really should consider replacing the presidents they use in those races with presidents under the Articles of Confederation.[/quote]That would be a pretty boring race.

      Edit: Nevermind.

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    91. 93 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=mb21]Wells isn’t a bad pitcher by any means, but he’s quite possibly the least exciting Cubs pitcher I’ve seen in my lifetime.[/quote]Steve Trachsel would like a word.

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    92. 94 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Or with dictators we installed, and subsequently deposed. “Bring out the kids to see the Noriega-Pinochet-Aristide-Hussein race!”[/quote]During the race fans can predict which nation we’ll install and then depose a leader in. Predict it right, win a nickel.

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    93. 95 mb21 says:

      [quote name=GBTS]That would be a pretty boring race.

      Edit: Nevermind.[/quote]Damn right, nevermind. (dying laughing)

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    94. 96 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=mb21]During the race fans can predict which nation we’ll install and then depose a leader in. Predict it right, win a nickel.[/quote]I think we’re onto something here.

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    95. 97 GBTS says:

      [quote name=mb21]Damn right, nevermind. (dying laughing)[/quote](dying laughing) I needed an Articles refresher.

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    96. 98 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Steve Trachsel would like a word.[/quote]I’d rather watch Steve Trachsel start a Cubs game right now than watch Wells. It’s not that I think Trachsel is better. He wouldn’t be, but at least with an old Trachsel on the mound I could laugh.

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    97. 99 mb21 says:

      [quote name=GBTS](dying laughing) I needed an Articles refresher.[/quote]Were there 10 of them?

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    98. 100 Rice Cube says:

      I’d like to see this guy in a mascot race:

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    99. 101 mb21 says:

      What about a race with Presidents of the Continental Congress? Peyton Randolph must be in the race.

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    100. 102 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=mb21]What about a race with Presidents of the Continental Congress? Peyton Randolph must be in the race.[/quote]Or they could just do a race with the managers the Nationals have gone through lately.

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    101. 103 GBTS says:

      [quote name=mb21]Were there 10 of them?[/quote]Yeah. To be fair to me, they were Presidents of Congress. That’s different. So fuck all of you. (dying laughing)

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    102. 104 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      If insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, then the Cubs batters are all insane.

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    103. 105 mb21 says:

      Fuck it. Let’s just have a mascot race including mascots for Tony Soprano, Dexter Morgan, Walter White and Omar Little.

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    104. 106 Rice Cube says:

      88 pitches through 4+…yikes.

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    105. 107 Rice Cube says:

      Houston is winning and the Royals have already won. Thank you, Ryan Zimmerman.

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    106. 108 mb21 says:

      [quote name=GBTS]Yeah. To be fair to me, they were Presidents of Congress. That’s different. So fuck all of you. (dying laughing)[/quote]Why would we want to be fair?

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    107. 109 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]If insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, then the Cubs batters are all insane.[/quote]That definition kind of fits for Cubs fans, too. Us included. (dying laughing)

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    108. 110 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=mb21]That definition kind of fits for Cubs fans, too. Us included. (dying laughing)[/quote]Oh, indeed.

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    109. 111 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Wells isn’t missing many bats.

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    110. 112 Berselius says:

      Wells only hit 90 once today with his fastball, and was barely hitting 88 against ZImmerman

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    111. 113 Rice Cube says:

      (dying laughing)
      (dying laughing)

      Nice relief pitching we have here.

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    112. 114 mb21 says:

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    113. 115 Rice Cube says:

      This is a hell of an AB by Gorzelanny.

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    114. 116 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Rice Cube]This is a hell of an AB by Gorzelanny.[/quote]He could teach the Cubs hitters a thing or two.

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    115. 117 ACT says:

      Castro!

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    116. 118 Rice Cube says:

      Starlin Castro is good at sports. And lucky too.

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    117. 119 ACT says:

      Aramis!

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    118. 120 melissa says:

      RODRIGO!!!!!

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    119. 121 Rice Cube says:

      Wow.

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    120. 122 ACT says:

      I don’t believe in hot streaks, but Aramis is having one.

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    121. 123 Berselius says:

      Rodrigo!

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    122. 124 GBTS says:

      Considering his plate coverage and 40 doubles pop as a 21 year old, if Starlin Castro isn’t cranking out 15-20 homer seasons in a few years I’m going to be very disappointed. Put that kid in a weight room the entire offseason.

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    123. 125 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Feed Castro some of whatever Aramis has been eating.

      Fuck it. Feed everyone that shit.

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    124. 126 mb21 says:

      Nats announcer: Why wouldn’t they consider making this guy (Carpenter) a starter?

      (dying laughing)

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    125. 127 Berselius says:

      [quote name=GBTS]Considering his plate coverage and 40 doubles pop as a 21 year old, if Starlin Castro isn’t cranking out 15-20 homer seasons in a few years I’m going to be very disappointed. Put that kid in a weight room the entire offseason.[/quote]
      That might move him off of SS even more quickly than his inaccurate arm (dying laughing)

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    126. 128 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Feed Castro some of whatever Aramis has been eating.

      Fuck it. Feed everyone that shit.[/quote]Have you looked at the bottom of the page here? The Cubs are in 2nd place and they aren’t going to get into first place by feeding everyone whatever it is that Aramis has had. (dying laughing)

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    127. 129 bubblesdachimp says:

      Aramis is going to get at least 3-45..

      I refuse to believe he doesnt have trade value

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    128. 130 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Berselius]That might move him off of SS even more quickly than his inaccurate arm (dying laughing)[/quote]I’d be surprised if he’s at SS after next season. If the Cubs went out and spent a bunch of money in the hopes of contending, he’d be moved away from SS. He’s terrible.

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    129. 131 Berselius says:

      Bruce Miles wonders who will get axes

      http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20110706/sports/707069824/

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    130. 132 Berselius says:

      [quote name=mb21]I’d be surprised if he’s at SS after next season. If the Cubs went out and spent a bunch of money in the hopes of contending, he’d be moved away from SS. He’s terrible.[/quote]
      Jose Reyes is a FA, right?

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    131. 133 GBTS says:

      [quote name=Berselius]Jose Reyes is a FA, right?[/quote]Sounds lazy.

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    132. 134 mb21 says:

      Is it July 17th yet?

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    133. 135 Berselius says:

      [quote name=mb21]Is it July 17th yet?[/quote]
      You just can’t wait to see how they end the Harry Potter films,can you MB (dying laughing)

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    134. 136 bubblesdachimp says:

      This team sucks becuase of the pitching yes?

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    135. 137 Mish says:

      [quote name=Berselius]You just can’t wait to see how they end the Harry Potter films,can you MB (dying laughing)[/quote]That’s July 15, retard.

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    136. 138 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Berselius]Jose Reyes is a FA, right?[/quote]Yeah, but he’s going to get a billion trillion dollars.

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    137. 139 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Berselius]You just can’t wait to see how they end the Harry Potter films,can you MB (dying laughing)[/quote]Harry Potter and Walter White have a lot in common. (dying laughing)

      More good baserunning.

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    138. 140 mb21 says:

      [quote name=bubblesdachimp]This team sucks becuase of the pitching yes?[/quote]This team sucks because they are the Cubs.

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    139. 141 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=mb21]Have you looked at the bottom of the page here? The Cubs are in 2nd place and they aren’t going to get into first place by feeding everyone whatever it is that Aramis has had. (dying laughing)[/quote]I don’t trust the Cubs to do shit with their picks, so I don’t give shit about where they pick. (dying laughing)

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    140. 142 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=bubblesdachimp]This team sucks becuase of the pitching yes?[/quote]Yes. Also, hitting, baserunning and defense. Other than that, good shape.

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    141. 143 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Yes. Also, hitting, baserunning and defense. Other than that, good shape.[/quote]
      Only problem is the injuries.

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    142. 144 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Two TOOBLAN day for Soriano. That’s Theriot-esque.

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    143. 145 Rice Cube says:

      Kerry Wood pitching batting practice.

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    144. 146 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Anyone thinking it’s time for Woody to hang ‘em up and embark on his career as a pitching coach?

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    145. 147 Rice Cube says:

      Missed squeeze had Pat and Keith giddy there.

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    146. 148 Rice Cube says:

      They tried it again (dying laughing)

      It just might work.

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    147. 149 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      And the squeeze play. Fucking Keystone Kubs. (dying laughing)

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    148. 150 Rice Cube says:

      Jeter –> 2997 hits

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    149. 151 ACT says:

      Dammit, Starlin

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    150. 152 ACT says:

      I just knew when he had 2 strikes that he was going to chase something terrible.

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    151. 153 Berselius says:

      [quote name=Mish]That’s July 15, retard.[/quote]
      Hey, same weekend (dying laughing)

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    152. 154 Berselius says:

      I’m in Google+ now Mish

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    153. 155 Berselius says:

      [quote name=Rice Cube]Jeter –> 2997 hits[/quote]
      Reed Johnson ————-> similarly arbitrary number of hits

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    154. 156 ACT says:

      Geo won’t chase strike 3. I trust him.

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    155. 157 Rice Cube says:

      This pitcher has a cannon of an arm.

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    156. 158 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=ACT]Geo won’t chase strike 3. I trust him.[/quote]
      Nah, he’ll just take it (dying laughing)

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    157. 159 ACT says:

      Of course!

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    158. 160 ACT says:

      Grabow time!

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    159. 161 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Grabow! (dying laughing)

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    160. 162 Chris Dickerson says:

      [quote name=Berselius]Jose Reyes is a FA, right?[/quote]
      28 years old, having the best season of his career, injury prone, demonized by some as lazy/aloof.

      I’m assuming the Cubs offer him 8/140.

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    161. 163 Rice Cube says:

      Balk! (dying laughing) (dying laughing)

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    162. 164 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Chris Dickerson]28 years old, having the best season of his career, injury prone, demonized by some as lazy/aloof.

      I’m assuming the Cubs offer him 8/140.[/quote](dying laughing)

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    163. 165 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Ye gods. Grabow is fucking dreadful.

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    164. 166 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]Ye gods. Grabow is fucking dreadful.[/quote]
      Shut you right up.

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    165. 167 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=Rice Cube]Shut you right up.[/quote]False.

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    166. 168 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]False.[/quote]
      Correct.

      I can see Pena tying this game right now.

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    167. 169 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Rice Cube]Correct.

      I can see Pena tying this game right now.[/quote]
      Shut me right up.

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    168. 170 Rice Cube says:

      Ah, Byrd…

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    169. 171 Rice Cube says:

      3 K for BJax tonight. Ick.

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    170. 172 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      The Cubs are bad at sports.

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    171. 173 binky says:

      Very bad at sports. This team gets more depressing daily. They seem to get worse at defense every game.

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    172. 174 Rice Cube says:

      Can’t play defense when the other team hits it over the wall (dying laughing)

      This was a great play and nobody had a chance except for Kerry Wood to get the out at home. I don’t think he’d have gotten the out anyway.

      http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=16685363

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    173. 175 Rice Cube says:

      Pujols put the ball in play in his four ABs so far…the last one was a run-scoring single.

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    174. 176 bubblesdachimp says:

      Matt moore got bjax 3 times.. He ks a lot of people. It happens

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    175. 177 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=bubblesdachimp]Matt moore got bjax 3 times.. He ks a lot of people. It happens[/quote]I’m worried about Jackson a bit. HIs MiLB K% is higher than Colvin’s, and Colvin’s jumped ~7% when he hit the bigs. If Jackson’s did the same, he’d be K’ing in ~30% of his AB. That’s dreadful.

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    176. 178 shawndgoldman says:

      Holy stinking crap pile. This has been an awful series to watch in person.

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    177. 179 Rice Cube says:

      (dying laughing) @ Reds blowing 8-0 lead to Cards

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    178. 180 ACT says:

      Aramis’ home run today was 442 feet.

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    179. 181 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      [quote name=ACT]Aramis’ home run today was 100 Tony Campana Throws.[/quote]
      .

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    180. 182 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder].[/quote]
      Might take more, sometimes they don’t go where they’re supposed to.

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    181. 183 Mercurial Outfielder says:

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    182. 184 bubblesdachimp says:

      [quote name=Mercurial Outfielder]I’m worried about Jackson a bit. HIs MiLB K% is higher than Colvin’s, and Colvin’s jumped ~7% when he hit the bigs. If Jackson’s did the same, he’d be K’ing in ~30% of his AB. That’s dreadful.[/quote]

      MO he does strike out a ton but he also gets on base a ton.. I still think he is a very solid to good prospect. i dont really care about K’s when the BB’s and power #’s are there as well

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    183. 185 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

      [quote name=bubblesdachimp]Matt moore got bjax 3 times.. He ks a lot of people. It happens[/quote]

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    184. 186 Mish says:

      MB, whenever I try to refresh comments I get this:

      A username and password are being requested by http://proxyadc2.

      Any ideas? It’s happened before but went away.

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    185. 187 Mish says:

      Fittingly, I post the ^^^ and it stops. Fucking stupid fagetty reundiscredited blog.

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    186. 188 mb21 says:

      Any chance you could take a screen cap the next time it does it?

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    187. 190 Mish says:

      Yeah it’s gone now, but I’ll try and grab a pic next time it happens. It happened a while before but went away.

      It could be something related with my work PC’s security; I’ve never gotten it at home.

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    188. 191 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    189. 192 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

      [quote name=Mish]MB, whenever I try to refresh comments I get this:

      A username and password are being requested by http://proxyadc2.

      Any ideas? It’s happened before but went away.[/quote]
      It’s because you touch yourself.

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    190. 193 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    191. 194 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mish]Yeah it’s gone now, but I’ll try and grab a pic next time it happens. It happened a while before but went away.

      It could be something related with my work PC’s security; I’ve never gotten it at home.[/quote]My guess would be that it is your machine and/or firewall wherever you are, but I really don’t know. The fact I can’t find anything at all on google isn’t a good isn’t a good sign either. I think seeing the screen cap would help.

      Thanks for letting us know about this.

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    192. 195 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

      OK, so Kila didn’t turn out to be anything special

      Obviously, I was wrong about him. I don’t think I’m wrong about LaHair.

      by Al Yellon on Jul 6, 2011 3:29 PM CDT upreply

      .

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    193. 196 Mish says:

      I’m not always wrong, but when I am…

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    194. 197 Xoomwaffle says:

      Has this team really still not won 3 in a row all season?

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    195. 198 Jessie Pinkman says:

      [quote name=Mish]I’m not always wrong, but when I am…[/quote]… you’re banned.

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    196. 199 Aisle424 says:

      [quote name=Xoomwaffle]Has this team really still not won 3 in a row all season?[/quote]
      It’s a Way of Life

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    197. 200 GBTS says:

      (dying laughing) My phone still had me logged in as Jesse from last week.

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    198. 201 mb21 says:

      I can’t believe cubs.com still has that It’s a way of life banner at the top of the page. This is a team that’s going to lose more than 90 games easily and maybe even 100.

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    199. 202 mb21 says:

      [quote name=GBTS](dying laughing) My phone still had me logged in as Jesse from last week, yo.[/quote].

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    200. 203 dylanj says:

      hayden simpson needs to stop pitching. he got destroyed in Mesa

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    201. 204 mb21 says:

      [quote name=dylanj]hayden simpson needs to stop pitching. he got destroyed in Mesa[/quote]But if he can do in the pros what he did in Divsion 2, dj. Think about the kids.

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    202. 205 Xoomwaffle says:

      [quote name=dylanj]hayden simpson needs to stop pitching. he got destroyed in Mesa[/quote]
      Convert him to Catcher! We can call it the reverse Marmol.

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    203. 206 dylanj says:

      i mean if the reason the kid sucks so bad is that he lost weight/strength then shut him down and get him to camp colvin or camp Burger King. Let Vogelbach be his personal chef. Because right now he has no business on a mound

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    204. 207 dylanj says:

      2.1 IP, 5 ER, 2 BB and no K’s. In Rookie Ball. Oh, he also had an error, wild pitch and a balk.

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    205. 208 mb21 says:

      The Smokies face Chris Archer again. Didn’t they crush him last time? Probably since he’s been hit all over this year.

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    206. 209 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Xoomwaffle]Convert him to Catcher! We can call it the reverse Marmol.[/quote]May as well. He has as much chance of reaching the big leagues as a catcher.

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    207. 210 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    208. 211 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    209. 212 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    210. 213 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    211. 214 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    212. 215 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    213. 216 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    214. 217 Chris Dickerson says:

      [quote name=dylanj]2.1 IP, 5 ER, 2 BB and no K’s. In Rookie Ball. Oh, he also had an error, wild pitch and a balk.[/quote]
      This is just preparation for all of the stories next spring about how he’s finally healthy. He’s a very early candidate for a “best shape of his life” story.

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    215. 218 Mucker says:

      Regarding Simpson, it really is mind blowing that the Cubs picked him so high. I know they did it for money reasons but there had to have been a better option than him. How much did they really save by drafting Simpson?

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    216. 219 mb21 says:

      They saved half a million with that pick. I agree. There had to be someone better than Simpson that they could have signed for the same amount of money.

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    217. 220 Mish says:

      [quote name=mb21]They saved half a million with that pick. I agree. There had to be someone better than Simpson that they could have signed for the same amount of money.[/quote]Yeah, me.

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    218. 221 Mish says:

      Baseball Reference will now have minor league stats available for players. They are hidden by default but there should be a “Show Minors” tooltip.

      Currently just for active players but should have it for all soon.

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    219. 222 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

      [quote name=Muckey]Regarding Simpson, it really is mind blowing that the Cubs picked him so high. I know they did it for money reasons but there had to have been a better option than him. How much did they really save by drafting Simpson?[/quote]
      $5.

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    220. 223 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

      [quote name=Mish]Baseball Reference will now have minor league stats available for players. They are hidden by default but there should be a “Show Minors” tooltip.

      Currently just for active players but should have it for all soon.[/quote]
      Haven’t they always?

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    221. 224 Mish says:

      [quote name=bubblesdachimp]Matt moore got bjax 3 times.. He ks a lot of people. It happens[/quote]
      17 GS, 96 2/3 IP, 2.14 ERA/2.5 FIP, 125 Ks, 61 H, 26 BB.

      More Ks than Baserunners. Yah, he’s good.

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    222. 225 Mish says:

      [quote name=Jame Gumb]Haven’t they always?[/quote]
      Well they posted about it. IDK. I usually go to minor league cube or Fangraphs or something or another.

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    223. 226 Mish says:

      [quote name=Mish]Well they posted about it. IDK. I usually go to minor league cube or Fangraphs or something or another.[/quote]I think it was just segregated from the minor league stats.

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    224. 227 Xoomwaffle says:

      Must stop going to ESPN…. feel myself getting dumber…

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    225. 228 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    226. 229 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    227. 230 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

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    228. 231 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mish]Baseball Reference will now have minor league stats available for players. They are hidden by default but there should be a “Show Minors” tooltip.

      Currently just for active players but should have it for all soon.[/quote]There’s been a link to view their minor league stats for several years.

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    229. 232 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

      [quote name=mb21]There’s been a link to view their minor league stats for several years.[/quote]
      There’s been a comment about this for several years: http://www.obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/articles/doh-cubs-doh.html#comment-34262

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    230. 233 Dr. Aneus Taint says:

      Mish, you should be ashamed of yourself for getting statspunked by a yuck monkey.

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    231. 234 Aisle424 says:

      [quote name=Jame Gumb]$5.[/quote]
      They’ve got these great chewy pretzels……adjns,dmnks.d.vsd,m……….sdv,.smnv

      What???… $5!? get outta here….

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    232. 235 Mish says:

      Minor League Stats Available on Major League Pages
      Posted by Sean Forman on July 7, 2011

      On the major league player pages we are now including summary minor league lines for each season in the minor leagues for this player. By default, they are hidden, but clicking the “Show Minors” tooltip above the Standard Batting or Standing Pitching tables will cause them to be shown.

      For now, you’ll be able to see this just for active players, but I’m rerunning everything and you’ll be able to see them on all player pages later this evening.

      http://www.baseball-reference.com/blog/archives/12661

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    233. 236 mb21 says:

      [quote name=Mish]http://www.baseball-reference.com/blog/archives/12661[/quote]Maybe I’m blind but I don’t even see the tooltip. I know how to get their minor stats though.

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    234. 237 Berselius says:

      [quote name=mb21]There’s been a link to view their minor league stats for several years.[/quote]
      Is the difference now that you can see the minor league stats on the regular b-ref page and not on a separate minors page?

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    235. 238 Mish says:

      [quote name=Berselius]Is the difference now that you can see the minor league stats on the regular b-ref page and not on a separate minors page?[/quote]Correct.

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    236. 239 Mucker says:

      I went to the game on Tuesday night and there was a girl behind me telling me that Reed Johnson should be in the AL because he is the “prototypical” DH……………WTF? (dying laughing)

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    237. 240 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Muckey]I went to the game on Tuesday night and there was a girl behind me telling me that Reed Johnson should be in the AL because he is the “prototypical” DH……………WTF? (dying laughing)[/quote]
      Maybe she had beer goggles.

      I see JG has discovered the joy that is Garfield Minus Garfield.

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    238. 241 Mish says:

      KG

      Hayden Simpson, RHP, Cubs (Rookie-level AZL): 2.1 IP, 5 H, 5 R, 2 BB, 0 K. Just going backwards, and it’s hard not to feel bad for him.

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    239. 242 Berselius says:

      [quote name=Muckey]I went to the game on Tuesday night and there was a girl behind me telling me that Reed Johnson should be in the AL because he is the “prototypical” DH……………WTF? (dying laughing)[/quote]
      Maybe she was a White Sox fan and thought Reed could outhit Omar Vizquel

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    240. 243 Rice Cube says:

      Reyes —> DL (maybe)

      Tulo or Starlin to start the ASG?

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    241. 244 Berselius says:

      [quote name=Rice Cube]Reyes —> DL (maybe)

      Tulo or Starlin to start the ASG?[/quote]
      Even if he’s not on the DL I wouldn’t be surprised if he sits it out to recuperate.

      Tulo has to be the choice

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    242. 245 Mucker says:

      [quote name=Berselius]Maybe she was a White Sox fan and thought Reed could outhit Omar Vizquel[/quote](dying laughing) She was actually pretty knowledgable about the Cubs but once she said that, I had to stop talking to her.

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    243. 246 Berselius says:

      [quote name=Berselius]Maybe she was a White Sox fan and thought Reed could outhit Omar Vizquel[/quote]
      Or for that matter, 2011 Adam Dunn (dying laughing)

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    244. 247 Rice Cube says:

      [quote name=Berselius]Even if he’s not on the DL I wouldn’t be surprised if he sits it out to recuperate.

      Tulo has to be the choice[/quote]
      If they were playing the ASG to win, and given that nobody plays to win until the end of the game, I’m guessing (didn’t check numbers, too lazy) that Tulo is the better SS and should be playing when the game actually matters. But I agree that Tulo probably starts and then Castro pulls a Dan Uggla and makes four errors in relief (dying laughing)

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    245. 248 ACT says:

      Tulo is hurt, too, though it’s probably just day-to-day, so he may be fine by the ASG.

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    246. 250 ACT says:

      http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/07/05/troy-tulowitzki-out-of-the-lineup-but-says-quadriceps-injury-not-serious/
      So, it sounds as though there’s a real chance that Tulo could rest during the ASG, in which case, Cassie will probably start.

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