Daily Facepalm 2.29.12

In Facepalm, News And Rumors by berselius150 Comments

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Cubs go from maybe thinking about extending Garza to thinking about extending Garza. Or possibly cloning him. It's not clear.

Hoyer (via Orange Guy):

“We have a good relationship with Matt,” GM Jed Hoyer told Comcast SportsNet. “We need more Matt Garzas. We’ll sit down to talk to him about a deal. We’re hoping to get something worked out, but you never know and we’ll keep it private when we do.”

Talkin' Bloomberg

Blogs with Balls hosted an event with Cubs Assistant GM Shiraz Rehman last night discussing the team's partnership with Bloomberg Sports for their tech needs. Brett has a good writeup at Bleacher Nation. The Cubs are putting in all of their specifications to customize it, but I'm actually kind of bothered that they're doing it through Bloomberg, which many other teams use (though obviously with their own valuation criteria). I'd rather they just hired someone to build up a system entirely of their own, but that's just the build-from-scratch programmer in me. That also would take a lot longer, and they needed this pretty quickly.

Groin news of the day

Geo has a "mild" groin injury. I hope they sit him for two weeks – position players don't need much time to prep for the season and he needs to stay healthy if the Cubs are going to win 75 games.

Is there a Cubs game today?

No.

Old McMarmol has a farm

E-I-E-I-O

Dale Sveum is quicker on the uptake than Mike Quade

Also, the sky is blue.

The Cubs have no burners outside of Tony Campana, who is not a regular. Sveum said he believes some of the Cubs can "sneak steal when pitchers aren't paying attention" or when a pitcher has a slow delivery time to the plate.

It took Cuey 4 weeks to realize that the Cubs have shitty baserunners, so good on Sveumy. More:

Secondary leads (widening a lead after the pitch), and advancing from first to third on hits to the outfield are areas where Sveum hopes the Cubs can take advantage of the opponent.

Luckily baserunning is probably more coachable than defense. Or at least remind-able.

I hope you wore your yellow and blue today

Probably.

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  1. mb21

    I like how she didn’t even flinch. Car accidents are pretty fucking loud and she didn’t even flinch. She’s not as badass as Luke Scott, but it’s pretty close.

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  2. Suburban kid

    Today is the last day before Google starts harvesting all your private data or something. I went to turn off web history in my account, but it was already switched off. I think I remember doing that when I signed up, or when they started collecting that data. I guess if you delete your web history now and switch the feature off before tomorrow, you won’t be subject to our future Google overlords. Or something.

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  3. mb21

    Craig is right. People are talking past one another on the issue. I think Braun is a piece of shit not for taking steroids, but for throwing that guy under the bus. I think he’s an even bigger piece of shit for pretending as if he’s going to file a lawsuit when he knows god damn well he won’t. Unless he’s as stupid as Roger Clemens he’ll shut his mouth. If he’s as dumb as Clemens he’ll ask to speak in front of Congress and find himself under investigation for perjury. Braun has a lot of money and that generally buys a good legal team. Clemens ignored his. It’s unlikely Braun will.

    Despite this, Braun absolutely deserved to have his suspension overturned. I think most rational people will agree with that, but I also think most rational people are going to understand that in no way does that vindicate Braun. He’s as guilty today as he was before the suspension was overturned. The idea that you can just leave a sample out and reproduce the sample out and see the same results is absurd. Are we really to believe that samples have been stored in the same manner many times? Of course they have. This guy even says they have. Did those samples end up positive? No. Braun is a liar and a piece of shit who should have had his suspension overturned. There. That’s about the most accurate thing that can be said about Ryan Braun.

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  4. josh

    @ mb21:
    Google likes to forget my settings for that instant search bullshit (which I hate), so I’m curious as to how well it will do in “remembering” this setting that if turned off stands to make them tons of money.

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  5. mb21

    @ josh:
    It appears you can just pause it, which I did long ago. Or maybe I never activated it in the first place. I don’t want Google to keep a history of the shit I do. I access enough banks online and that’s none of their fucking business.

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  6. Author
    Berselius

    mb21 wrote:

    I think he’s an even bigger piece of shit for pretending as if he’s going to file a lawsuit when he knows god damn well he won’t.

    Against whom? I think he has an easy, easy case for suing MLB over the confidentiality stuff.

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  7. Rice Cube

    I’m using Chrome and usually have Gchat signed in but my Google Chrome settings say I haven’t actually signed in to Chrome (whatever that means) and I have never actually sent usage stats or anything to Google. I hope it stays that way.

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  8. josh

    @ mb21:
    I know. My point is that I don’t know if you can really escape from them. That said, I don’t think they are trying to figure out your bank information, just track trends to sell to 3rd party companies and so forth.

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  9. Author
    Berselius

    Ryan Howard ———-> Sidelined indefinitely with an infection to the achilles tendon he blew at the end of the season.

    Also
    Ryan Howard ———-> 5/125 extension kicks in this season!

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  10. mb21

    Here, apparently, is at least part of the disparaging comments by Braun:

    Ryan Braun stated during his press conference that “there were a lot of things that we learned about the collector, about the collection process, about the way that the entire thing worked that made us very concerned and very suspicious about what could have actually happened.”

    Pure, unadulterated B.S. from the Braun and his camp, just like most of their statements regarding this episode.

    Given how dirty they played this, I would guess that they leaked the news in the first place, because they thought that that was the best way to handle it.

    Braun ought to go into politics when he retires from baseball. It will suit him well. Most politicians will say anything, truthful or not, hurtful or not, as long as it furthers their agenda…

    That’s from MGL and I couldn’t agree more. He’d be a great politician.

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  11. josh

    @ GBTS:
    Exactly. They already record every single google search you make and all the linkbacks a site includes. Sites already upload a lot of their browsing information (I can see how people got to my site, what terms they searched for etc.). This is really just a very small extension of what they already do.

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  12. Urk

    @ mb21:
    mb21 wrote:

    Pausing it is stopping it, or at least as close to stopping it as you can get. If at some point you decide that you want Google to keep closer track of everything you see and do online, then you can unpause it.

    I think its worth doing, just as another tiny way of keeping as much control as possible of the information that flows out of my online behavior and into the hands of advertisers, etc. But it is just part of how that information is collected and there’s only so much control possible in the way that most of us use the net. At some point, if you decide that you don’t want that any of that out there, the only thing to do is to get off the internet. I don’t think this stuff is no big deal, but until or unless we can build our own internet with stone knives and bearskins, this is how its gonna be.

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  13. mb21

    @ Urk:
    Yeah, I don’t think it’s a big deal either, but I’d prefer that as much as possible remains private.

    I’ll get started on a brand new internet. (dying laughing)

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  14. GBTS

    I’d rather see division winners and top two teams make the playoff pool, and then the two worst records have the play-in, regardless of division. This makes a 90+ win Wild Card team even more disadvantaged.

    Stupid.

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  15. GBTS

    (dying laughing)

    If this system were in place last season, the play-in games would have been Rays-Red Sox and Braves-Cardinals.

    Congratulations, Bud. You’ve just instituted a rule that would have severely devalued the consensus Greatest Night in Baseball History.

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  16. GBTS

    If this rule were in effect in 2010, the 95 win Yankees would be forced to play a one game playoff against the 89 win Red Sox, a team they beat by six games in their own division just to get into the playoffs and play the 94 win Twins without homefield advantage.

    Yeah, this makes fucking sense.

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  17. ACT

    @ GBTS:
    I think that’s rather unfair. First of all, last year’s races were an extreme rarity. Secondly, The new format could yield as many exciting races or even more. For instance, division races matter more, and the wild-card “playoff” would be a do-or-die game for both teams involved (sort of like what happened last year, only now it will happen every year in both leagues).

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  18. ACT

    @ GBTS:
    On the other hand, think about how boring the AL East race was that year. The Yanks were resting their regulars in preparation for the playoffs despite being very close to winning the division.

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  19. GBTS

    If in three or four years the Cubs win 95 games and have to play one game playoff against an 88 win team just to get in the playoffs, I’ll be fucking pissed.

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  20. Mucker

    I don’t understand how more teams are needed in the playoffs after 162 games. To me, it should be less teams. If you can’t secure a playoff spot in 162 games, then you don’t go to the playoffs.

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  21. GBTS

    Mucker wrote:

    I don’t understand how more teams are needed in the playoffs after 162 games. To me, it should be less teams. If you can’t secure a playoff spot in 162 games, then you don’t go to the playoffs.

    A billion times this. I thought that was the whole point of an ungodly long regular season.

    Well, on top of making ungodly amounts of money.

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  22. Mucker

    GBTS wrote:

    Well, on top of making ungodly amounts of money.

    There’s your answer. Same as why the NFL went to more wild cards and the same reason why there is 1,352 bowl games.

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  23. GBTS

    @ ACT:
    Last year the Rays-Red Sox and Braves-Cardinals would have had the “play-in” game locked up for several days. They both would have packed it in for several games before the play-in.

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  24. mb21

    @ GBTS:
    I think Fangraphs wrote an article about this and I may have as well. It’s not going to change anything. There will be just as many end of season finishes, if not more now that additional teams get a chance to reach the playoffs. I believe I found over the last 10 years there would would have been considerably more important late September games with more teams in the playoffs.

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  25. GBTS

    Even in ’09, the Rockies would have to play the Giants in the play-in game, despite beating them in the division by four games.

    It’s just dumb, catering to lazy fans who want baseball to resemble March Madness.

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  26. mb21

    @ GBTS:
    But take a look at what other games would be more exciting because of this. What’s more exciting? 2 teams getting in the playoffs and the races leading up to it or 4 teams? Is 8 more exciting than 4? The more teams you have the more excitement and more important the games will be down the stretch.

    I’d prefer they go back to NL vs AL in the World Series and get rid of the playoffs entirely. That would be my pick. It’s not going to happen. More and more teams will get in the playoffs and as a result, more and more games will have more importance down the stretch.

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  27. GBTS

    @ mb21:
    The entire AL Playoff picture would have been set on September 26 last season. The last two days of the regular season would have been completely meaningless.

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  28. Author
    Berselius

    mb21 wrote:

    I’d prefer they go back to NL vs AL in the World Series and get rid of the playoffs entirely. That would be my pick. It’s not going to happen. More and more teams will get in the playoffs and as a result, more and more games will have more importance down the stretch.

    That would be my pick too, and extend the WS to more games like they did decades ago.

    But if we’re not going to do that, let in a shit-ton of teams to make the regular season more exciting for more fans. (and more profitable for more teams)

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  29. Author
    Berselius

    GBTS wrote:

    The entire AL Playoff picture would have been set on September 26 last season. The last two days of the regular season would have been completely meaningless.

    Small sample size

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  30. ACT

    @ GBTS:
    2011 is also a cherry-picked example that would happen maybe once a century. Under the new system, there will be some races that come down to the last day, too. Maybe more.

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  31. GBTS

    But hey, on September 22, the Blue Jays would have still been in it! Seven games out of the #5 spot with just seven left to play!

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  32. GBTS

    Berselius wrote:

    Small sample size

    I realize that, but in 15 minutes of research I’ve revealed this new system would have detrimental effects in each of the last three seasons, so that’s good enough for me. (dying laughing)

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  33. Author
    Berselius

    mb21 wrote:

    I’ve slowly come around to the point I agree. I wouldn’t mind it being 8 teams at this point.

    It’s already 8 teams. Unless you mean per league (dying laughing)

    Even at 4 total teams the chance of the best team winning the championship is something like 30-35%. That alone is enough for me to meh at further playoff expansion.

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  34. Author
    Berselius

    mb21 wrote:

    I just hope they get rid of the divisions and the best teams reach the postseason.

    They can rebalance schedules while they’re at it

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  35. GBTS

    @ mb21:
    I understand this could mean more “excitement” for fringe teams and their fans. That example shows that the White Sox and Red Sox would have had something to play for in a season they otherwise wouldn’t. My problem with this system is that regardless of that excitement, it still completely fucks over the Yankees, who had the second best record in the AL that year and finished six games ahead of the Red Sox. Why should they have to play again? Isn’t 162 games enough? Make the Rangers “play-in” that season.

    Essentially, if you’re a fan of a good team you hate this. If you’re a fan of a team who is continually mediocre, you love it. As a Cub fan, I have no idea why I hate this. I just do. (dying laughing)

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  36. mb21

    Besides, it’s not like I can make fun of anyone for being upset at something rather ridiculous unless I want to be made fun of all the time. (dying laughing)

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  37. Rice Cube

    If they do away with the divisions, does that force more balanced scheduling?

    And I also wonder what this does re: the DH and consistent rules between leagues.

    I think the only major effect this will have is altering the number of teams who are buyers or sellers at the trade deadline depending on how close to the last playoff spot they are.

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  38. WenningtonsGorillaCock

    mb21 wrote:

    (dying laughing) I wasn’t snooting. Sorry if it came off that way. I’ll stop being snarky and go without dinner for 2 days

    MB’s just cranky b/c Google is fucking with his electronic bank robbing (dying laughing)

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  39. Rice Cube

    How can you possibly say the Holocaust never happened? That’s like painting a big target on your forehead with the words “DO NOT ELECT ME” on it.

    I’m too exasperated to even dig up an appropriate facepalm gif.

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  40. mb21

    I don’t believe World War II ever happened. Pure propaganda. The evidence supporting the war is all made up.

    How can these people say this shit with a straight face? It’s unreal.

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  41. Aisle424

    mb21 wrote:

    How can these people say this shit with a straight face? It’s unreal.

    It’s like claiming the three Star Wars prequels never happened.

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  42. EnricoPallazzo

    the best part about that guy that refuses to acknowledge the existence of the holocaust is the part where he says, “the more survivors, the more lies that are told.”

    if you’re recognizing that there are survivors, and therefore an event which had to have been survived, are you not also recognizing the holocaust?

    and yes, i realize the idiocy of trying to introduce logic into a discussion involving someone that doesn’t acknowledge the holocaust.

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  43. mb21

    EnricoPallazzo wrote:

    if you’re recognizing that there are survivors, and therefore an event which had to have been survived, are you not also recognizing the holocaust?

    I didn’t catch that when I first read it, but yeah. He’s acknowledging it happened, but doesn’t believe it happened. (dying laughing)

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  44. Urk

    Suburban kid wrote:

    I gave you a negative faget point based on the injustice of what you pointed out (David Crosby’s continued walking of the earth) not based on the fact that you pointed out, for which I would give you a positive faget point if I could give both at once. Sadly, the injustice of Crosby outweighs (in more ways than one) your insight.

    /overexplained.

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  45. josh

    @ mb21:
    Are you kidding? He’ll get votes just from his mastery of HTML alone. Did you see those letters? They were red, and in a bigger font. You think that’s easy?

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