The 2012 Cubs are about to jump the shark. Sending Jeff Samardzija to the mound is about as desperate an idea as when TV shows add Ted McGinley or have the Very Special Pregant Woman Gives Birth in a Stopped Elevator episode in an effort to boost ratings.
The lineup that Sveum has constructed to stop the Cubs from going 0-3 for the first time since the 0-14 start in 1997:
RF Kim DeJesus' husband
2B Beardy McDFA
SS Chosen One
LF $19 Million Man
3B Umm…. Ian Stewart
1B The Hair
CF Wyrd
C Soto's Backup
Just Let it Happen.






“The Scotsman”?
@ Rice Cube:
Yep. I have a patent pending. Most Scottish Name Ever.
Also, MO, I want The Scotsman hitting high in the order. I want to see what the new guys got. Dewitt and Byrd can hit at the bottom for all I care. They have proved themselves mediocre in two Cub seasons.
I think “Two First Names” could work for Stewart
@ Suburban kid:
Stewart has 200 more MLB PA than DeWitt and a worse career OPS+.
@ Suburban kid:
I will send you a royalty check later on.
Also, I said LaHair should be hitting higher, not Stewart. Stewart is just as shitty as DeWitt.
Suburban kid wrote:
What about Angus MacDonald?
Or Rory Calhoun?
Bubbles is mad that the knicks are winning.
Excited for F7
@ bubblesdachimp:
Both are the product of over-reliance on small samples.
Backs spasms for DeWitt, Barney playing second today
@ Berselius:
Double the Transformation! No way the Cubs lose today with all that transformation on the field.
rough 1st for zambrano
@ GW:
It’s hard to watch what has become of him.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
The Cubs hired him on a hunch that he will be better. Like DeJesus. Let’s give those guys and LaHair plenty of PA.
@ Suburban kid:
If they fail, #1 pick! W00t
1.) Have hunch
2.) Let it happen to you
3.) ?????????
4.) WORLD SERIES
Zambrano has not been good
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
What’s saddest of all is that most Cubs fans are cheering his recent failures.
Whereas if you even dare speak poorly of, say, Mark DeRosa…
@ bubblesdachimp:
Yeah, he’s looking pretty rough on Gameday. Missing up and spotty velocity. I miss young Z.
@ Rice Cube:
Who’s cheering? Is this the Cubs’ twitterverse?
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Not World Series.
But the Cubs might as well kill DeWitt and Byrd. We know it won’t make a difference in their team performance.
At least Z got a hit in his first at bat.
@ Suburban kid:
Yeah. I’d rather neither of DeWitt and Stewart were on this team.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Facebook and random messageboards. I would avoid those if I were you.
@ ACT:
Selfish.
Is there anyone in baseball who has longer at-bats than Carlos Pena?
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Yea i am watching as well.. He just doesnt have it.. I have seen 91 tops
Do we have a theory of what happened to Z’s velo?
@ bubblesdachimp:
Lots of innings, age-based decline, probably a few nagging injuries.
@ ACT:
Vlad? Although he’s not playing. Youkilis has some pretty lengthy ABs, too.
Z has settled down some. His control, especially. Just doesn’t seem to have any pop to his stuff, though, at least on Gameday.
Shark for Cy Young
82 pitches through 5 for Z.
I really don’t understand why Bronson Arroyo doesn’t get fucking tattooed every time out. He is the definition of a junkballer.
F7 keeping that H/9 at expected levels.
I enjoyed that inning by the Cubs. I needed to get going soon after the game anyway (dying laughing)
The One-Armed Bandit up next inning.
Z just struck out Votto. That’s nice to see.
Nice slider from F7
Is the WGN gun right? Is it working? Gameday says 97-98 mph from F7!
96 and 97, then a changeup. Wow.
Z was a Jay Bruce homer away from a quality start.
He’s doing a nice job of keeping that fastball in on the hands. I guess if you’re going to throw an arrow-straight 4-seamer, you better be able to keep them from pulling it.
Shark is dialing up the heat
@ Rice Cube:
He’s always been able to get it up there.
I think the Nats will win the east…
Bubbles has gone on record
14 pitches through 2 innings. Way to make the pitcher work, Cubs.
14 pitches through 2 IP (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing)
Cubs.
What I’m anxious to see with F7 is the 3rd and (hopefully) 4th times through the lineup.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
I wonder what it will be at assuming he can get to inning #7.
Here comes the Miami Marlins. Trying to get Z off the hook.
If F7 think he can chuck belt-high 4-seamers up there without penalty, he’s got another thing coming. That Ramos AB was playing with fire.
Just saw Gameday say “splitter” so he’s busting out the arsenal. Might as well work on his straight fastballs against the opposing pitcher.
F7 up in the zone to every batter this inning.
@ bubblesdachimp:
Probably has something to do with the 10037252 pitches he’s thrown in the past decade
Jeff Samardzija..
Lets see what happens
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
I noticed that too. I hope that’s because of a method to the madness and not because of mistakes.
He’s mixing up speeds at least so when he uncorks the 97 mph it’s somewhat unpredictable.
Prepare for the auto-bunt.
I think that bunt was worth 5 points on Buntfest.
One out sac bunt. FUCKING DUMB.
The bottom of the second went faster than the commercial break between innings in the NYY/TBR game.
Two lineouts for DeJesus.
Life isn’t fair.
And just like that, out of the inning. Fucking stupid fucking bunts.
Shark understood the bunt thing they tried to teach in spring training
Still up in the zone.
Nice cutter there.
Control getting spottier by the inning, but he had a 2-seamer/cutter working that inning.
So…Soriano playing defense.
@ Rice Cube:
All due to F7′s transformation.
Augh. Soriano just cannot lay off that slider low and away.
There’s your aggressive baserunning.
Run manufactured!
Much more effective than the auto-bunt.
Three steals for Starlin. Nice
Agression = win
F7: It might just work
Watching the replay of Soriano’s grab. Matt Garza loves it (dying laughing)
He’s jammed quite a few Nat hitters today.
Yeah…he’s playing with fire with those offerings.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
He needs to make sure it stays on the hands, if it’s a little off that ball is launched.
Who is this guy pitching for the Cubs
Is it me or is Byrd taking some goofy routes? I didn’t hear how the wind was at Wrigley so that might be why.
ACE
@ bubblesdachimp:

@ Rice Cube:
Yeah, he’s walking a pretty fine line with his fastball. Reminds me of Z, really. If he loses the handle on that thing just a bit, it’s all going to go pear-shaped.
@ Rice Cube:
Prob wind and sun.
Samardzija with 53 pitches, 38 strikes
@ WaLi:
NO WALKS
And Cubs swinging away on the 1st pitch (dying laughing)
Why won’t these liners go out?! *whine whine*
Two pitches, two outs. Cubs. (dying laughing)
7 pitches for 4 batters (dying laughing). Samardzija with the most balls seen @ 4.
@ Rice Cube:
I’m sure we can expect that to continue. (dying laughing)
@ Rice Cube:
Winds blowing in and the sun looks like a main bitch.
The undue adulation of F7 is about to reach critical mass. We should all get hold of a shovel.
Hmmm Cubs dont like to work the count
Ah, there’s that batting practice fastball.
Niese no hitter over but there’s another one in Baltimore.
@ Suburban kid:
False.
Ian Desmond has had a great opening series
Pena went dong today and nearly had another one, fan interference double. That’s two this weekend. (dying laughing)
Once this Bulls game is done I can see how Captain Morgan is doing out there.
Gameday has gone the way of F7′s control.
I have to say that aside from the playing with fire, Samardzija is taking full advantage of this opportunity.
Solid start by Shark. never thought i would see a quality start
F7 shutting everyone up.
Oosthuizen (who?) hit an albatross in the sexist Master’s tournament to take the lead. An albatross is rarer than a hole in one. Pretty crazy.
@ Rice Cube:
Yeah, he really has. But there’s as much cause for concern as there is for optimism, IMO, on the strength of this start.
@ Suburban kid:
Yeah, one start really proves a point.
It would nice if the offense could pick up F7 here.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
The location made me shudder a bit but this may be a function of the game plan, which was to punish the inside part of the plate and keep jamming people. He’s not going to throw 1-run ball all the time.
So over under for Cubs as a team HR this season… 50? Is that too high? Do you think the league HR leader will have more than the Cubs total?
Soriano found the hole…
…and that’s what she said.
@ WaLi:
It’s certainly possible. Not much pop in this lineup.
Soriano with both RBI today.
Sori woo
Fucking bulls
3rd time though the heart of the order. Interested to see what and how F7 does.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
If I were Sveum, I’d tell Samardzija that he is pitching so good we have to cut you short.
Mercurial Outfielder wrote:
Slider strike. Bones.
Bailed out there.
There’s a defensive play.
No walks?
@ Suburban kid:
Nay, m’lord.
@ WaLi:
Shut me right up.
Moreland can not sing.
Samardzija…
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
@ Rice Cube:
Why did Werth slide?
@ Suburban kid:
Nope. When he’s missed, he’s missed up in the zone, for the most part. Been no need for the Nats to take pitches.
@ ACT:
Grindy.
This has been a pretty well-pitched game on both sides, actually.
I gotta say quite a few pitches have had high nasty factors on gameday
F7 still throwing 95-96 in the 7th.
Nice to see LaHair finally work a full count.
Bubbles got Keith to play along
keithlaw @keithlaw Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
Yep. Better command down than when I saw him two weeks ago. “@jonf1220: @keithlaw You watching Samardzija by any chance?”
Great play by Stewart.
Congrats to F7 on making it through 7 for the first time.
Let’s remember the heart of the nats lineup includes xavier nady.
Byrd did not learn from Buntfest.
Two doubles for LaHair today. Good to see.
Marlon Byrd really hates taking pitches.
WHY THE FUCK IS BYRD BUNTING? Fucking Sveum and his by the book bullshit.
F7 for the 8th! Better get that bullpen working fast.
Bulls make me so mad… But at least the knicks can be added to the list
@ bubblesdachimp:
We play them again Tuesday. I think the Bulls will come out and annihilate them.
Chad Tracy, Cub killer?
Why is da Shark still pitching?
80 pitches should be more than fine for his first big league outing ever (kinda) and his spot in the bottom of the 7th would have been perfect tfor a pinch hitter.
Cheers!
F7 is about to find what the pressure of irrational expectations from the Cubs’ fanbase feels like.
Fuck it let Shark finish it
@ Mish:
I mean we were up ten with 3:01 to go. We score 1 point game over
@ bubblesdachimp:
Might as well ride the streak while it lasts.
keithlaw @keithlaw Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
I don’t know, stuff looked pretty electric to me. “@caryatid62: @keithlaw Jeff Samardzija #smallsamplesizealert”
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
It’s just the way it is.
bubblesdachimp wrote:
4 missed FTs and a bunch of missed rebounds. Derrick got his pocket picked all day.
Confirmation bias is utterly fascinating to me.
(dying laughing) at Gary pressy “I walk the line”
Grindy catch by Nady.
@ Mish:
Yea it was piss poor effort all the way around
Nice hit by Castro. If Nady hadn’t made the grindy catch, they might’ve had more.
@ Mish:
Yea it was piss poor effort all the way around
CASTRO!!!!
SAFE?! WOW!
Starlin Henderson.
Better throw and catch and it’d be closer…game of inches.
4 more runs and the lead will be bullpen proofed.
5 straight sinkers to LaHair. Stares at 4, whiffs at one. Ugh.
Marlon will not be cheated.
3-run cushion, throw all strikes?
95MPH in the 9th
96! 97!
F7 is really putting that fastball in hittable places.
97 in the 9th…
Who is this guy?
Nice fucking pitch.
Nice call, Eddings.
Nice snag, awful throw.
Ew.
ERROR
Fucking castro.
(dying laughing)
I assume this is his last batter.
Whoops.
Almost got there…
Well, you keep bombing 4-seamers down the middle of the plate, you’re going to pay. He’s been playing a dangerous game all day long.
@ bubblesdachimp:
If only Pena were there to scoop that.
Fuck that. Feel bad for shark. Pitched his ass off. Should have got to finish
97 mph, but it was well within the happy zone.
The fun part is, everyone will blame the homer on Castro and ignore the fact that F7 has been daring people to hit that 4-seamer all day.
LaHair is no Derrek Lee at first.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Nah, they’ll blame Marmol instead.
@ Rice Cube:
Gameday had it dead down the middle. Belt-high, heart of the plate. You throw that pitch to a guy like LaRoche, you deserve the results.
I don’t know if Lee or Pena save the throw. That was a terrible throw Castro uncorked.
Good fucking god…
Marmol got a swinging strike! His first this year!
Marmol getting the slider across for strikes today.
Marmol with the one-out save! And he only walked 1 batter!
Awesome.
What an outing by shark. Based on the impression of twitter his shit was that good. I got blacked out
Well, that outing from F7 is puzzling. He located his 2-seamer superbly and had a nice changeup early, but he was playing with fire with the 4-seamer and didn’t seem to have any special command of his breaking pitches. Lots and lots of fastballs.
@ bubblesdachimp:
If he doesn’t keep that fastball down when the weather warms and the wind shifts, he’s going to be in trouble.
This start reminds me of the first time F7 came up. We all oohed and aahed at the electric stuff and the 95+ fastballs…and then he pitched a few more times.
The Cubs have the same record as the Phillies and a better record than the Yankees or Red Sox.
@ ACT:
Transformation!
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Wish I could have seen his start today. Looks pretty damn impressive on paper.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
You could be very correct MO. I just saw a lot of the nasty factors and the looked good. Slider looked solid and he didnt walk anyone. I will take all the positives i can. Not to mention Ketih and Kevin were pretty impressed
Cubs starting pitching might be sneaky good
@ mb21:
He pitched well, got helped by good defense from Soriano and Stewart. Made the most of his chance, for sure. He threw a lot of fastballs, and after the 3rd innings, he was putting a lot of them up and over the plate. He was able to keep them off the fastball with his change for a while, then with his slider for a bit, but his most consistent pitch in terms of location was probably the cutter/2-seamer he was throwing.
@ bubblesdachimp:
I’m not sure nasty factor is really indicative of anything inherently positive.
Dear OV,
How my ass taste?
Sincerely,
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
I think it judges how likely a pitch is to be successful. Obviously not the be all end all but still a good metric
@ bubblesdachimp:
I don’t know how good a metric it is. This is from Mike Fast last year:
So a ball in play and an out is the highest, but a swinging strike is less and a called strike is less than that.
Perhaps at the extremes it tells us something. I don’t know. I’ve never paid a lick of attention to it so I don’t know and I don’t care, but based on the average here I’m not sure it tells us anything.
the thing I like most about F7′s outing is the percentage of strikes. That’s a good sign. Still just one start, but at least we have something at the MLB level as a starter to start discussing.
@ GBTS:
It tastes like confirmation bias with a bit of sample size and a dash of Thenatshaveareallyshittyoffense.
@ mb21:
Yeah, he was bombarding the strike zone today. That’s probably the best indication we have of his alleged improvement.
@ bubblesdachimp:
No, there’s a bunch of other shit thrown in. From MLB:
There’s so much noise in that number, I doubt it’s useful for much at all. Basically, it tells what we could already see: the pitcher is pitching with movement.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Agreed.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Based on Mike’s research I think it’s clear the result weighs heavily. An out is more important than anything. A swinging strike or even a guy caught off guard with a pitch taken for a called strike are less than balls put in play that are turned into outs. This tells me that it doesn’t have much value. Like I said, there could be value at the extremes, but I doubt it.
http://twitter.com/#!/Royals_Report/status/189051518660526082
(dying laughing)
@ mb21:
Is he still cost-controlled?
Nasty Factor sounds like an interesting idea in theory, but exceedingly difficult to pull off in practice.
@ GW:
Ned Yost, 2008 Cubs MVP.
I see Aramis is off to one of his patented slow starts.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
I agree with yall 100% It is not the end all be all. I think it gives a rough estimate of would you want a batter to have to make good contact. Like i think i saw a marmiol slider get up to about a 98 last year.
Just another tool to combine with the other ones to give us a more accurate impression of what we are seeing
Wow Tigers
Wow Avila just hit a walkoff HR to complete a 3-run comeback for Detroit in the bottom of the 11th.
Also, the Sox and Yanks are both 3 games behind the Orioles now.
@ ACT:
Dear Larty Lucchino,
Suck it.
No love,
Karma
@ ACT:
Someone divided by zero.
astros are over .500 for the first time since 2009
Red Sox gonna suck this year. They cant pitch
@ bubblesdachimp:
Didn’t the Red Sox get off to something like a 2-9 start last year and then were in first place not long after? We’re 3 games in. Other than knowing the Cubs have won 1 and lost 2, I don’t have the foggiest damn clue what the record of another team is (other than the Nationals).
Boston was 2-10 last year.
83-52 after August: http://www.baseball-reference.com/games/standings.cgi?year=2011&month=8&day=31&submit=Submit+Date
Projected record that’s good for tied for 2nd in baseball: http://www.rlyw.net/index.php/RLYW/comments/the_2012_mlb_projection_blowout_-_american_league_edition
Looks like Cashner is doing alright in his couple innings of work.
New shit: http://www.obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/jeff-samardzija-shut-us-right-up.html
http://muskat.mlblogs.com/2012/04/08/48-ramirez-braun-headed-to-wrigley/
I will be at the game tomorrow night and I hope that I can sneak down far enough to snag an autograph. The boo-birds should be ashamed of themselves, but probably won’t be.
http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/gameday/index.jsp?gid=2012_04_08_bosmlb_detmlb_1&mode=video