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  • Daily Facepalm 3.22.12

    Practice Game Recap

    Not applicable. But Paul Maholm didn't get rocked by the Giants' A ball team.  So there's that.

    It's Gordo's World and We're Just Living In It

    Today Gordo speculates that whoever loses out in the Great Cubs Rotation Chase of 2012 will somehow be a valuable trade commodity. To be clear, he thinks that a pitcher that loses out to Jeff Samardzija will have trade value. To be honest, I couldn't read much more than the first couple of paragraphs, but I assume he later discusses how the Loch Ness Monster is totally real and a potential valuable trade commodity.

    Soler? I Barely Even Know Her!

    Jed Hoyer vehemently denied the Cubs have any sort of pre-arranged deal in place for Jorge Soler.  

    He stopped short of denying that there is such a thing as a Soler, saving Gordo the trouble of writing a piece that not only claims that Soler does exist, but that he is calling FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!

    Jed Says Lots of Stuff

    Carrie Muskat gives a pretty good rundown.  Nothing earth-shattering, but when one of the Superfriends speaks, you better damn well listen.

    Carlos Marmol's Elbow is Fine

    He apparently had hand cramps, and an MRI verified that there is no significant nerve injury.  Marmol is just doing his bit to fill the Zambrano-shaped hole still left in everyone's hearts.

    Opening Day Weather Watch

    Right now the forecast calls for a high of 56, a low of 46, and morning showers.  Given that I have fully expected snow on Opening Day after all of this 80+ degree baseball weather in the middle of March, I'll take it.  We'll see how the forecast changes as the day gets closer.

    Somebody Wrote Something About Soriano That Doesn't Involve Torches and Angry Villagers

    I pointed this out in the comments yesterday, but not everyone reads the comments. The soon-to-officially-debut-but-already-active, ChicagoSideSports.com, features a piece that actually speaks hopefully of Soriano's value to the 2012 Cubs. I wouldn't go that far, but it is nice to see something that doesn't focus purely on how OVERPAID AND TERRIBLE he is.

    288 Responses to “Daily Facepalm 3.22.12”

    1. josh 1 josh says:

      @ Mish:
      I’m a slow learner, I guess. I was 20 when Dogma came out. I think it almost would have been easier to reject religion if my parents had been fundamentalists or something, because I just don’t think it was ever in me to believe it, but the warm and fuzzy version I was given was more innocuous than the hellfire and brimstone version some of my friends grew up with.

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    2. Rice Cube 2 Rice Cube says:

      MB, if you want a copy of Clerks 2 and don’t want to pay for it, I need you to e-mail me a PO Box and I can hook you up. You can destroy the film afterwards if you don’t like it and it would literally cost me a stamp to get it to you (dying laughing) But I think it’s worth a viewing if you have two hours to kill.

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    3. Aisle424 3 Aisle424 says:

      Updated the post with one more link, but if you are reading this, chances are excellent you already saw it in yesterday’s comments.

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    4. Mish 4 Mish says:

      @ josh:
      Understandable. Hinduism is just silly to me, not immoral or anything.

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    5. Aisle424 5 Aisle424 says:

      Michael Bush ——-> Bears

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    6. WaLi 6 WaLi says:

      Aisle424 wrote:

      Michael Bush ——-> Bears

      {waiting for the other shoe to drop where we hear stories about rape charges from last night)

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    7. josh 7 josh says:

      @ Aisle424:
      I don’t know anything about him, but I take it that’s good?

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    8. EnricoPallazzo 8 EnricoPallazzo says:

      Mish wrote:

      Hinduism is just silly to me, not immoral or anything.

      yeah but the ramayana is AWESOME. seriously, if you haven’t read it, it”s an extremely entertaining read. highlights include a monkey getting black-out drunk and banging a bunch of hot monkey chicks and then magically growing big enough to rip a mountain out of the ground and fly over the ocean with it. and it only gets more badass after that.

      EDIT: but yeah, i guess that kind of proves your point about the silliness.

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    9. josh 9 josh says:

      I’ll just be happy to see Matt Forte back.

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    10. Aisle424 10 Aisle424 says:

      josh wrote:

      I don’t know anything about him, but I take it that’s good?

      I think he’s a solid back-up and gives them a bit more insurance than Barber did when Forte went down.

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    11. Berselius 11 Berselius says:

      too dumb to realize there was a new thread (dying laughing)

      mb21 wrote:

      He was good in that. I just liked the story of Jersey Girl. I could understand why hardcore Kevin Smith fans didn’t like it, but I was surprised at the overall reviews of the movie. Couldn’t help but think some critics panned it just because it was a Kevin Smith movie.

      It’s the only Kevin Smith movie where the story was worth a damn. In most of his other movies it’s just window dressing for the jokes. That’s the main beef I had with Dogma, he sucks at writing serious scenes.

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    12. Berselius 12 Berselius says:

      I guess I just didn’t find Dogma to be all that shocking or thought-provoking, religion-wise. More like a silly story that happened to involve religion.

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    13. Berselius 13 Berselius says:

      mb21 wrote:

      He was good in that. I just liked the story of Jersey Girl. I could understand why hardcore Kevin Smith fans didn’t like it, but I was surprised at the overall reviews of the movie. Couldn’t help but think some critics panned it just because it was a Kevin Smith movie.

      Also, it spawned these guys

      http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/24

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    14. Berselius 14 Berselius says:

      He apparently had hand cramps, and an MRI verified that there is no significant nerve injury. Marmol is just doing his bit to fill the Zambrano-shaped hole still left in everyone’s hearts.

      Apparently the MRI was on his neck. What?

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    15. josh 15 josh says:

      @ Berselius:
      I would say I agree with you in retrospect. In that I tried watching it since and I didn’t like it as much. But, the point is that it started a serious thought in my head the religion was baloney, and so it gets honorable mention in my pantheon.

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    16. josh 16 josh says:

      @ Berselius:
      I’m not a huge Kevin Smith fan anyway. It was just the right movie at the right time, if that makes sense. I could see it being what you describe, but it just came out at the right time for me.

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    17. Aisle424 17 Aisle424 says:

      Berselius wrote:

      Apparently the MRI was on his neck. What?

      I’m reading it as the MRI was on his hand, but he also reported stiffness in the neck.

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    18. Mish 18 Mish says:

      @ EnricoPallazzo:
      Haha I have a general understanding of the stories/myths from the Ramayan and Bhagvad Gita and stuff. I don’t hate it as much as I hate authoritarian religions; Hinduism is almost more akin to Greek mythology in some aspects. But it never really connected with me because a) it didn’t apply any moral code really, or lessons I shoudl apply to life and b) I was a lone Hindu in a sea of Christians, so I know either I or everyone else was wrong. (dying laughing)

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    19. Aisle424 19 Aisle424 says:

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    20. Mish 20 Mish says:

      josh wrote:

      I’m not a huge Kevin Smith fan anyway. It was just the right movie at the right time, if that makes sense.

      Exactly the same. I like most other Smith movies, but they aren’t as huge to me as others here.

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    21. Aisle424 21 Aisle424 says:

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    22. Suburban kid 22 Suburban kid says:

      Apropos of squat

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    23. GW 23 GW says:

      angels looking for a starter

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    24. mb21 24 mb21 says:

      @ Berselius:
      This is still the Cubs. Hand cramps = full examination of the neck. If he had neck pain they’d have examined the hand. Duh.

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    25. 25 AndCounting says:

      What’s up, religious freaks?

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    26. Mish 26 Mish says:

      mb21 wrote:

      This is still the Cubs. Hand cramps = exorcism.

      /religion’d

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    27. 27 AndCounting says:

      mb21 wrote:

      This is still the Cubs. Hand cramps = full examination of the neck. If he had neck pain they’d have examined the hand. Duh.

      This reminds me of Pump Up the Volume. which makes me think those two injuries could definitely be related.

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    28. mb21 28 mb21 says:

      @ Berselius:
      I didn’t either, but the first time I watched it I laughed my ass off. Not so funny after that.

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    29. Rodrigo Ramirez 29 Rodrigo Ramirez says:

      Anyone watch this last night?

      http://video.wttw.com/video/2036555344/

      I enjoyed it. But I’m a huge sucker for video montages and pullers of my little heart-strings.

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    30. mb21 30 mb21 says:

      @ GW:
      The Cubs have a valuable starter who couldn’t beat F7 for a job F7 is undeserving of. I’m thinking the Cubs can get Jered Weaver in return. At least.

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    31. mb21 31 mb21 says:

      You know what this blog needs more of? Justified fans.

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    32. Rodrigo Ramirez 32 Rodrigo Ramirez says:

      @ mb21:

      I could not agree more re: Justified.

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    33. Mish 33 Mish says:

      @ mb21:
      I am a HUGE justified fan. We should talk shop after Tuesdays. I have a meeting now, but feel free to begin. (dying laughing)

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    34. 34 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Berselius wrote:

      I guess I just didn’t find Dogma to be all that shocking or thought-provoking, religion-wise. More like a silly story that happened to involve religion.

      Exactly. Just like most of the trite stuff that gets trotted out by the “New Athiests.” There are plenty of good athiestic and agnostic arguments. None of them are represented by Dogma, and only the briefest glimpses of them are in the work of Dawkins, Harris, et. al. For those interested, my recs:

      For the athiests/agnostics:
      Don Cupitt’s Taking Leave of God and Bertrand Russell’s Why I Am Not a Christian

      For the sufficiently critical theists:
      Mark Noll’s The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind and Mark Johnston’s Saving God

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    35. 35 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Aisle424:
      My favorite bit from that movie is What Have the Romans Done for Us Lately

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    36. Aisle424 36 Aisle424 says:

      D’oh…

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    37. 37 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Forte needs to STFU and take stock of the situation. RBs have a such a short shelf life that teams just aren’t going to give them long deals and lots of money in today’s pass-first NFL.

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    38. Aisle424 38 Aisle424 says:

      Mercurial Outfielder wrote:

      My favorite bit from that movie is What Have the Romans Done for Us Lately

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    39. 39 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Also, Forte was offered a market-level deal and turned it down, so…STFU

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    40. Aisle424 40 Aisle424 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      I don;t think it is a length of a deal that is the problem. Hardly any of the money is guaranteed in NFL contracts, but the Bears don’t want to take the cap hit for another signing bonus.

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    41. Rice Cube 41 Rice Cube says:

      Sonnanstine —> Iowa, off 40-man

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    42. Rice Cube 42 Rice Cube says:

      Ryan Dempster might be an asshole, although I have to admit that’s one hell of a prank:

      http://espn.go.com/blog/chicago/cubs/post/_/id/8540/qa-ohman-on-dempsters-all-time-prank

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    43. 43 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Aisle424:

      Right. And when you take into account that (1) teams are learning that RBs are not hard to find and (2) that the shelf life on RBs is incredibly short (consider that Forte’s career is nearly half over already!) and (3) that the league-wide trend is pass-first offense, there’s no need to invest significantly in the position.

      Also, Forte’s franchise tag earns him $7.74 mil this year. If that’s finishing last, I woud like to finish last.

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    44. mb21 44 mb21 says:

      @ Rodrigo Ramirez:
      Maybe we should set up an Unobstructed View on Tuesday nights like we did with Breaking Bad. This season has elevated that show to Breaking Bad territory in my opinion. Maybe not quite to that level, but pretty freaking close.

      In the last episode, Neil McDonough was just awesome. That episode had 2 or 3 of the top 10 scenes in tv this past year. Like Breaking Bad, Justified just gets better and better each season.

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    45. mb21 45 mb21 says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      (dying laughing) those are good pranks.

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    46. Berselius 46 Berselius says:

      @ Rice Cube:

      (dying laughing), that is win

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    47. Aisle424 47 Aisle424 says:

      The next time I vandalize a car of one of my co-workers, i’ll make sure the police know it was just a prank.

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    48. mb21 48 mb21 says:

      I remember when Jr. paid off a clubhouse bet he made with a teammate by filling his locker with rolls of pennies. (dying laughing)

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    49. Aisle424 49 Aisle424 says:

      That seems like when Jim’s brothers “pranked” Jim by mocking how crappy Pam’s life is right in front of her.

      Edit: Dempster’s car thing, not the pennies.

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    50. Berselius 50 Berselius says:

      Who is this Jiminez guy who was also outrighted? Can’t remember anyone with that name in the Cubs org.

      EDIT: nevermind, it was some Mariners guy in the same mlbtr article

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    51. Aisle424 51 Aisle424 says:

      Berselius wrote:

      Who is this Jiminez guy who was also outrighted? Can’t remember anyone with that name in the Cubs org.

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    52. Mish 52 Mish says:

      @ mb21:
      I’d gladly participate in these threads. I really only have one buddy (and he’s a blogger friend, not an IRL one) to discuss it with. McDonough was amazing last episode, especially the scene in the Wynn’s winnebago (or as Sepinwall calls it, the Wynnebago). That and the episode 2 weeks ago are probably my TV highlights of the year. It’s probably my favorite drama on TV. And Walter Goggins is utter balls, I love that man.

      mb, just a suggestion. Between all the Breaking Bad/Justified/Dexter/Game of Thrones chats that go on in these…errr…”baseball” threads, would adding a spoiler widget to comments (to block off potential spoilers) be a worthwhile change?

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    53. josh 53 josh says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      My philosopher friend bought me “Why I Am Not a Christian.” Still keep it on my shelf. Later, he got really mad at me for arguing with him about his theories on God. So that’s how that goes. I see The God Delusion as being a kind of elaboration on that, but with more science, which appeals to me. Again, the movie is trite and I would say is not even agnostic/atheist in its sum total, more like agnostic-lite or even deistic or something like that. I wouldn’t say it gave me any ideas I didn’t have before, but just that it started a conversation in my mind. I know it’s easy to say it’s stupid and shallow, but sometimes you need something stupid and shallow to start you on the journey. If I had seen the book “Why I Am Not a Christian” when I was in high school, I probably would have gotten angry or offended. Three years later, I’m reading it and nodding my head. Dogma happened in between, along with other stuff.

      EDIT: had a typo where it said “not arguing” that was going to be “not agreeing” … anyway.

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    54. Aisle424 54 Aisle424 says:

      I think the Bobby Valentine in Boston thing is going to go really, really well:

      http://blogs.providencejournal.com/sports/red-sox/2012/03/bard-on-commitment-to-starting-i-thought-i-made-it-very-clear.html

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    55. mb21 55 mb21 says:

      Mish wrote:

      mb, just a suggestion. Between all the Breaking Bad/Justified/Dexter/Game of Thrones chats that go on in these…errr…”baseball” threads, would adding a spoiler widget to comments (to block off potential spoilers) be a worthwhile change?

      Good idea.

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    56. Berselius 56 Berselius says:

      I don’t plan to spoiler Game of Thrones talk because if you haven’t read it by now, fuck you (dying laughing)

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    57. mb21 57 mb21 says:

      Mish wrote:

      And Walter Goggins is utter balls

      I thought he was really good in The Shield, but he’s outstanding as Boyd Crowder. I cannot imagine any other actor playing that role so well. What I like so much about Justified is that several characters can carry an episode. It’s one of the strengths of Breaking Bad too.

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    58. josh 58 josh says:

      Is Justified that show with the dude from Deadwood?

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    59. Berselius 59 Berselius says:

      Seriously though I’m planning on making weekly GOT Unobstructed View threads

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    60. josh 60 josh says:

      @ Berselius:
      Jeez, I’m getting to it!

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    61. josh 61 josh says:

      @ mb21:
      That seemed to me to be the fatal flaw of Mad Men. As soon as they started doing more stories with the wife and some of the others, the life went out of the show.

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    62. mb21 62 mb21 says:

      [spoiler title="Testing Spoiler"]Test[/spoiler]

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    63. mb21 63 mb21 says:

      To use the spoiler, you can check this out: http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/easy-spoiler/

      Great idea, Mish.

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    64. Berselius 64 Berselius says:

      @ josh:

      It’s still great, though a little more uneven. The season 3 finale (Shut The Door, Have A Seat) and Season 4′s The Suitcase are probably the two best episodes the show’s ever done. Betty Draper can definitely DIAF though.

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    65. Mish 65 Mish says:

      It works.

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    66. mb21 66 mb21 says:

      [spoiler]Fuck you all (dying laughing)[/spoiler]

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    67. Berselius 67 Berselius says:

      [spoiler title="SPOLIERZ"] The Cubs stink[/spoiler]

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    68. 68 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ josh:
      Yeah, that’s fair. I’m just an argument guy. Dawkins and his ilk are scoring points, not making sound arguments, and then they get responded to in kind and the whole conversation become unproductive. Which annoys me. I really recommend the Cupitt and Johnston books for the place where it sounds like you’re coming from, which, TBH, is eerily similar to my situation and experience.

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    69. Mish 69 Mish says:

      Berselius wrote:

      I don’t plan to spoiler Game of Thrones talk because if you haven’t read it by now, fuck you (dying laughing)

      I’d agree with this if I didn’t think some here (i.e. bubbles) are able to read. (dying laughing)

      Berselius wrote:

      Seriously though I’m planning on making weekly GOT Unobstructed View threads

      And I will be there with you.

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    70. Mish 70 Mish says:

      [spoiler title="Darth Vader is really..."]Go fuck yourself if you don’t know[/spoiler]

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    71. mb21 71 mb21 says:

      @ Berselius:
      I almost wrote the exact same thing.

      You also don’t need a title for what it’s worth.

      “spoiler”The Cubs stink”/spoiler” (replace quotes with brackets [ and ]

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    72. Berselius 72 Berselius says:

      Anyone with a BA subscription? Jim Callis took a look at which farm systems have the most and least productive over the past 3 years.

      http://www.baseballamerica.com/online/prospects/column/2012/2613144.html

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    73. Rice Cube 73 Rice Cube says:

      [spoiler]This is the greatest thing to every happen to this blog[/spoiler]

      Nice.

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    74. Berselius 74 Berselius says:

      @ mb21:

      [spoiler title="I'll use a title if I goddamn want to"]Don’t tell me what to do[/spoiler]

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    75. mb21 75 mb21 says:

      @ Berselius:
      Rays, Yankees, Nationals, Blue Jays, Rangers are the top 5

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    76. mb21 76 mb21 says:

      18. CUBS. While Chicago has spun its wheels the last three years, it compounded its problems by trading away most of its best youngsters (Chris Archer, Andrew Cashner, Hak-Ju Lee). The Cubs aren’t letting Starlin Castro go anywhere, however.

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    77. Rice Cube 77 Rice Cube says:

      @ mb21:
      Cubs = 20-30 range?

      Ah, just saw your post. 18 is higher than I expected. Most articles I’ve read seem to think they’re in the 20-30 range.

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    78. mb21 78 mb21 says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      18 seems high to me. Castro is about it.

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    79. Berselius 79 Berselius says:

      Klaw, well, Klaw’s sources, on Samardzija:

      Haven’t seen, hoping to catch his next outing if I’m in AZ. Have heard it’s been an unbelievable transformation – like the light bulb just went on. It’s just spring, but I’ve seen him in past springs where I wouldn’t have given him a snowball’s chance of big league value, so there’s at least something different there.

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    80. Aisle424 80 Aisle424 says:

      [spoiler title="Extra! Extra!"]Todd smells[/spoiler]

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    81. 81 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:
      I’m becoming dubious of this line of thought. It’s not as if the Cubs traded these guys for Gatorade coolers and a case of liniment. They turned those guys into Matt Garza and Anthony Rizzo. Seems like a break-even at worst right now, and especially so given Cashner’s arm issues and Archer’s control issues. And I’m still not convinced Lee isn’t another Alcides Escobar.

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    82. 82 ACT says:

      As someone who was introduced to Dawkins through his science books, his recent fame as an atheist has always struck me as odd. Sort of like people knowing about Michael Jordan from his brief baseball career.

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    83. Mish 83 Mish says:

      @ Aisle424:
      Everyone knows that.

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    84. Mish 84 Mish says:

      Mercurial Outfielder wrote:

      And I’m still not convinced Lee isn’t another Alcides Escobar.

      You can’t put a value on The Most Exciting Player in Baseball.

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    85. Berselius 85 Berselius says:

      Mercurial Outfielder wrote:

      And I’m still not convinced Lee isn’t another Alcides Escobar.

      He’s not nearly as exciting, for one.

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    86. 86 ACT says:

      Also, I love how the word “meme” has taken on a life of its own since Dawkins invented it in the 70′s.

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    87. 87 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:

      Jackson? Rizzo? Lake?

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    88. mb21 88 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      I agree. That’s measuring the farm system and not what you turned those players into it. We saw during the Hendry era that there are two ways you can get production from your farm system: develop the players or trade the prospects for established stars. Developing is cheaper and allows you to spend money elsewhere. It’s the preferred way, but trading prospect for stars is still value and it’s often ignored by people. It shouldn’t be so I think you and I agree here.

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    89. mb21 90 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      Here’s the subtitle of the article: Ranking the 30 organizations for what they’ve recently produced

      In a year or two the Cubs are hopefully going to move up with production from those two, but they haven’t done anything yet.

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    90. 91 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ ACT:
      Yeah Dawson qua scientist writing about science is good stuff. Dawson qua polemicist writing about science and religion…not so much.

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    91. 92 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:
      Ah, I see.

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    92. 93 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:
      The Yankees have used their farm in this manner for decades.

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    93. Berselius 94 Berselius says:

      http://deadspin.com/5895607/

      Investigator Says Penn State Police Didn’t Share Important Information About Jerry Sandusky In 1998

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    94. mb21 95 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      They also developed some stars there for awhile (Jeter, Rivera, Posada). They now have Brett Gardner and Robinson Cano. I’ve always felt their development has been overlooked. I think that’s even more true when you consider the talent they also trade away when they acquire stars.

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    95. 96 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Berselius:

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    96. 97 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:
      That’s true. I’m really curious to see THoyer’s first draft.

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    97. josh 98 josh says:

      @ ACT:
      I was late to the Dawkins party. Again, thanks to religion (also, I wasn’t really alive in the ’70s). I actually was more exposed to the idea of meme through other books. I really enjoyed his recent The Greatest Show on Earth. He does go for a few jabs here and there in that one, but I actually learned quite a bit about the science of evolution that I didn’t know, and then even more in my (so-far) failed journey to become an entomologist. I credit Dawkins as much as anyone with my maintained interest in science. Again, I think Dawkins, while not necessarily a great philosopher or something, hit the right chords for me. I’m willing to move beyond, but The God Delusion was sort of the major kick in the ass I needed at that time, along with Bertrand Russel. I mean you get the other side so often, it’s practically ingrained in the culture, so it was sort of eye opening to just take a run through the gauntlet. It’s not the end of thought, though.

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    98. josh 99 josh says:

      @ ACT:
      I love his lectures from the ’70s where he talks about evolution to an audience. Good stuff.

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    99. josh 100 josh says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      I would put Metaphors We Live By in a category of books that have caused me to completely change how I think about….well, at least about language and thought. But I consider language and thought to be essential parts of my life. I’m just not crazy about arguments of the structure “Here are the ways we can save some notion of God.” I think the motivation for wanting to do that must come from within. I have no particular desire to save any notion of God, metaphorical or otherwise.

      EDIT: sorry, I’ll shut up.

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    100. 101 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ josh:

      Mark Johnson != Mark Johnston

      I also love Johnson’s work, although I rate The Body in the Mind and The Meaning of the Body over Metaphors We Live By

      Johnston’s argument basically amounts to a secularization of the concept of God. It’s an interesting argument.

      And no need to shut up. That definitely wasn’t my purpose. I just think people who want to think carefully about these things would benefit from reading things written by people who are thinking carefully about these things.

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    101. GW 102 GW says:

      I’m no fan of Dawkins, but, in fairness, his path is typical among public intellectuals. Start out as an academic, gain fame through work outside of that field of study to a greater or lesser degree. Chomsky, Pinker, Freeman Dyson, Milton Friedman, Jared Diamond…. off the top of my head.

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    102. bubblesdachimp 103 bubblesdachimp says:

      From Klaw today:

      Scott (Chicago)

      As a Cub fan I am tired of hearing about Lake and the rest. Just drop it already!!! Baez, easy power yes, but what position do you see him at in the Majors?
      Klaw (2:21 PM)

      I wouldn’t rule out shortstop, but most likely third base.

      Dale (KY)

      Do you have an explanation on Hayden Simpson? Could he have been taking PEDs, is he injured, did he just get a payday and quit caring, can a guy have a fluke 1 year spike in velocity?
      Klaw (2:12 PM)

      I think the velo spike was a fluke – he wasn’t on my predraft top 100 for a reason, since most teams never saw the big velo – but he also got a terrible case of mono right after signing, lost a bunch of weight, and never got it back. I can’t tell you that wasn’t a factor too.

      Dale (KY)

      Can you give me some guys from the lower levels of the Cubs system to be excited about?
      Klaw (2:10 PM)

      Baez (that’s some of the easiest power I’ve ever seen, including to the opposite field), Candelario, Dunston, the Cuban outfielder whose name I won’t try to spell. Saw all those guys yesterday.

      Baez is making bubbles excited

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    103. WenningtonsGorillaCock 104 WenningtonsGorillaCock says:

      My favorite baseball prank is the one Norm MacDonald and Artie Lange once told on Stern or Letterman (can’t remember which) via Bob Ueker about Don Drysdale and Kenny Boyer. Here’s a brief summary that somebody else wrote:

      “Apparently, Drysdale used to always get hookers when on the road. Boyer knew the chief of police somewhere in the midwest. He had the chief of police and a bunch of officers bust into Drysdale’s hotel room when he was with one of his hookers and arrest him. They strip searched him and arrested him before finally letting him know it was a prank.

      Drysdale was obviously pissed, so he called Frank Sinatra, who he was apparently friends with. Sinatra had some thugs on the West Coast. One night when Boyer was on the West Coast he was walking to his car. The thugs jumped him, threw him in their trunk and brought him out to the desert. They got him out and acted as if they were going to kill him and let him beg, plead, and cry for several minutes before letting him know it was a payback via Drysdale.”

      (dying laughing)

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    104. GW 105 GW says:

      bubblesdachimp wrote:

      the Cuban outfielder whose name I won’t try to spell.

      ?

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    105. bubblesdachimp 106 bubblesdachimp says:

      Which cuban is he referring to?

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    106. 107 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Again with the mono thing. Hayden Simpson should be the subject of research on the disease because apparently he had the worst case of it in recorded history.

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    107. bubblesdachimp 108 bubblesdachimp says:

      @ GW:

      I have no fucking clue who he is referring to

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    108. 109 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:

      Yoenis Cespedes is my guess

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    109. 111 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Chipper Jones —————> Retiring at the end of the season

      First ballot? Second? VC?

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    110. mb21 112 mb21 says:

      bubblesdachimp wrote:

      Baez is making bubbles excited for 2018 Cubs baseball

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    111. mb21 113 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      Should be first ballot, but I tend to think if you’re any ballot HOF, you should be first ballot.

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    112. Rice Cube 114 Rice Cube says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      First ballot or else the voters who didn’t have him on the ballot should all be executed.

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    113. 115 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Berselius:

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    114. Berselius 116 Berselius says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:

      First ballot for sure.

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    115. mb21 117 mb21 says:

      @ Berselius:
      Did their website get hacked? That can’t be real. Right? WTF

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    116. bubblesdachimp 118 bubblesdachimp says:

      @ Berselius:

      (dying laughing) (dying laughing) (dying laughing)

      the gif was perfect

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    117. 119 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      First ballot for me, too, and I agree with MB, if you belong, you belong the first time. I will not be surprised, however, to see him get dragged down in the same way as Bagwell.

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    118. Berselius 120 Berselius says:

      Lineup today

      SS Barney
      2B DeWitt
      LF Soriano
      1B LaHair
      C Soto
      3B I-Stu
      CF Mather
      DH Clevenger
      RF Sappelt

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    119. mb21 121 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      I don’t think there’s ever been any PED speculation with Chipper though.

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    120. Berselius 122 Berselius says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:

      I don’t remember seeing any rampant speculation with Larry. His Good Ol’ Boy image managed to keep any of that dirt from sticking to him.

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    121. 123 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:
      There hasn’t been, but there’s not more proof he didn’t than there is with Bagwell, and that’s usually all it takes for your average BBWAA member.

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    122. Berselius 124 Berselius says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:

      Yeah, the proof is equally nonexistant but there’s no smoke for Chipper like there was with Bagwell. Those BBRAA guys don’t care about proof, just perception.

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    123. bubblesdachimp 125 bubblesdachimp says:

      Bubbles’s main bitch seems to think that link is fake B

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    124. Mish 126 Mish says:

      First ballot, and I agree with mb on First ballot issues.

      In fact, for nearly everything, unless I explicitly state disagreement, assume I agree with mb. (dying laughing)

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    125. Berselius 127 Berselius says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:

      Whoever faked that up had too much time on his/her hands

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    126. 128 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:

      I’ll assume she’s not reading over your shoulder.

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    127. WaLi 129 WaLi says:

      @ Berselius:
      Why is it a .com but has prices in pounds?

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    128. Berselius 130 Berselius says:

      Mather ————> Yard

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    129. Rice Cube 131 Rice Cube says:

      So, this Joe Mather guy.

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    130. WaLi 132 WaLi says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:
      How many bitches do you have aside from your main bitch?

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    131. bubblesdachimp 133 bubblesdachimp says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:

      She knows what bubbles calls her.. She just doesnt like the implication that there is a secondary bitch

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    132. WaLi 134 WaLi says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:
      That’s cute. It’s like when I introduce my wife as my “first wife”. She doesn’t like it because it means there are more (which there aren’t). Almost the same thing.

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    133. 135 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:

      Oh, so it’s ok, then. SMFH.

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    134. bubblesdachimp 136 bubblesdachimp says:

      @ WaLi:

      When Bubbles rocks her she

      Main====>>> Perma

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    135. Rice Cube 137 Rice Cube says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      It must be custom in bubbles’ native land.

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    136. 138 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Rice Cube:

      Spring Training Hero!

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    137. Rice Cube 139 Rice Cube says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      Fifth OF Legend.

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    138. bubblesdachimp 140 bubblesdachimp says:

      RUH ROH

      Fake Winterlander ‏ @winterlander Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
      When everyone says RB is a replaceable position… when is the last time a RB from the Bears went to a pro bowl? #PayForte???
      Retweeted by Matt Forte

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    139. Aisle424 141 Aisle424 says:

      WaLi wrote:

      Why is it a .com but has prices in pounds

      It’s just the currency it displays, you can change it to US dollars. It’s an American site and it appears to be real. If you go to the homepage and search “nigger” it comes up with that page. and all the links that I tried on that page link around to other real pages on the site. I don’t see any evidence that it is a fake. it may be the result of a hack, but it exists on the real site.

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    140. 142 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Mather’s been in the minors for 11 years. Yeesh.

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    141. Rice Cube 143 Rice Cube says:

      Aggressive on the bases. I guess they figure since Mike Napoli is catching they can take a few chances, though Napoli isn’t absolutely terrible either.

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    142. 144 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:
      Yes, because personnel decisions should be made on the basis of popularity contests. Forte is acting like a jackass.

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    143. Berselius 146 Berselius says:

      Quirk is dumping an epic amount of cliches in this Len and Bob interview

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    144. mb21 147 mb21 says:

      Mish wrote:

      In fact, for nearly everything, unless I explicitly state disagreement, assume I agree with mb. (dying laughing)

      That’s because you’re smrt like me. (dying laughing)

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    145. 148 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:

      Exactly. I don’t know what Forte’s endgame is here. The jig is up for NFL RBs. Unless you’re an Adrian Peterson-type, you’re not going to get paid if you make it to that second deal. Teams are just too aware of the market for RBs.

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    146. Aisle424 150 Aisle424 says:

      That is one helluva fake website.

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    147. Rice Cube 151 Rice Cube says:

      Geovany Soto with an aggressive TOOTBLAN?

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    148. 152 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      This team’s baserunning is the onfield equivalent of Phil Rogers’ writing.

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    149. Berselius 153 Berselius says:

      Two outs on the basepaths that inning

      to quote Game of Thrones, Soto ran. Not very fast.

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    150. mb21 154 mb21 says:

      bubblesdachimp wrote:

      Bubbles’s main bitch

      mb21 wonders if she knows you refer to her like this.

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    151. mb21 155 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      I’m not the least bit encouraged by the intelligence of Dale Sveum based on this team’s tendency to do even more stupid shit on the bases than in past years. If this is how he manages, he won’t manage the Cubs for more than a year one hopes.

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    152. 156 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:
      Yeah, I’m not sure why the things he wants this team to do the most are the things they should be doing the least.

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    153. mb21 157 mb21 says:

      @ Aisle424:
      I think a good hacker could do that. I just have a hard time believing in this day and age something like that would happen from a reputable retailer.

      Why do they have 2 web sites: http://www.abercrombie.com/
      http://www.abercrombie-and-fitchoutlet.com/ (the one where the jeans were)

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    154. bubblesdachimp 158 bubblesdachimp says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:

      MO my thing is name the last time a team with a top notch RB won the SB?? It has been a while. This is a pass heavy league. I love how forte catches the ball out of the backfield. I also think he is a good/great player. But i just dont believe in paying that position since they are so fragile. Shit he missed 6 games last year?

      this also hurts fortes fantasy

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    155. GBTS 159 GBTS says:

      [spoiler]Mish is Batman.[/spoiler]

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    156. bubblesdachimp 160 bubblesdachimp says:

      @ mb21:
      She does…

      Bubbles gets confused when he talks about his MB here and then sees you post..

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    157. mb21 161 mb21 says:

      @ Aisle424:
      Actually, it would be relatively easy. I could set up the same site in a matter of hours. Glad to know it is a hoax though.

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    158. Rice Cube 162 Rice Cube says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:
      Does this make mb21 your 21st main bitch?

      Bubbles confuses.

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    159. 163 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:
      Neither of the teams in the SB last year has a full-time RB!

      Forte turned down a deal worth $14 mil in guaranteed money with a $6 mil/yr avg salary. That’s a better deal than Gore or Jamaal Charles got last year. The only reason he’s in this situation is because of his own foolish choices. The Bears offered him a market deal, and he rejected it. They tagged him, and that gave him a $7.14 mil raise. But now he thinks he’s been “disrespected?” Bizarre behavior from a guy who otherwise seems to have a good head on his shoulders.

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    160. Rice Cube 164 Rice Cube says:

      Garza is suddenly allergic to throwing strikes.

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    161. mb21 165 mb21 says:

      @ bubblesdachimp:
      Why would she put up with that? Better yet, why would you want someone to put up with that? If I called my wife my main bitch there would be a discussion about it immediately and it wouldn’t end with her accepting it.

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    162. GBTS 166 GBTS says:

      Hmm…

      [spoiler][/spoiler]

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    163. Rice Cube 167 Rice Cube says:

      I guess after not playing SS for a while you kind of forget how?

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    164. GBTS 168 GBTS says:

      (dying laughing)

      Excellent.

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    165. 169 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      The Cubs could easily lose 100 games this season.

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    166. bubblesdachimp 170 bubblesdachimp says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:

      Yea i am confused as well. I like him and think he is a very valuable bear

      @ mb21:

      Cause Bubbles is otherwise a complete gentlemen!

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    167. bubblesdachimp 171 bubblesdachimp says:

      @ GBTS:

      Well done. We can also discuss Kate…

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:

      I think we will come close to .500. I think the pitching will be better then expected. Why? Dont know. Just a hunch. Could have worst offense in league

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    168. Rice Cube 172 Rice Cube says:

      GBTS wrote:

      (dying laughing)

      Excellent.

      [spoiler]Excellent[/spoiler]

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    169. 173 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Except for eating meat, I’m vegan.

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    170. Rice Cube 174 Rice Cube says:

      bubblesdachimp wrote:

      Cause Bubbles is otherwise a complete gentlemen!

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    171. Rice Cube 175 Rice Cube says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      I have vegan friends and sometimes they treat me to their vegan cookies and “cheeses” etc. They don’t taste right at all.

      /cool story bro

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    172. Rice Cube 176 Rice Cube says:

      All three Rangers runs unearned due to Barney fails, but at least he can hit every now and then (dying laughing)

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    173. Berselius 177 Berselius says:

      Except for the ball going over the fence, Soriano weakly grounded out to 2b

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    174. Rice Cube 178 Rice Cube says:

      And then there’s that Soriano guy.

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    175. Berselius 179 Berselius says:

      @ Rice Cube:

      Ugh. vegan baked goods/dairy “substitutes” are a scourge.

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    176. Mish 180 Mish says:

      @ GBTS:
      QUIET YOU.

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    177. Suburban kid 181 Suburban kid says:

      It’s fake Abercrombie, not a fake website.

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    178. Mish 182 Mish says:

      I forgot how much I missed Kate Upton.

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    179. 183 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Oh, man, Soriano is setting himself up for a media onslaught. If he has a monster spring and then flops in April, the villagers will gather in the square with their diminutive ginger master to drive out the heatherns.

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    180. GBTS 184 GBTS says:

      @ Mish:
      Spoiler alert! People don’t know she’s in there!

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    181. 185 ACT says:

      Scream “small sample size” all you want, but this Spring Training has taught me to believe in bulked-up Barney and Sori’s new batting stance.

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    182. Mish 186 Mish says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      Sori only performs when the pressure is off!

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    183. Berselius 187 Berselius says:

      [spoiler title="Spoiler Alert"][/spoiler]

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    184. Suburban kid 188 Suburban kid says:

      @ Mish:
      And the bases are empty.

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    185. 189 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ ACT:

      Do we have any side-by-sides to see how Soriano’s altered his tance?

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    186. Berselius 190 Berselius says:

      What is the “select” button supposed to do in this spoiler bar?

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    187. 191 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Berselius:
      It turns the volume knob to 11.

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    188. 193 ACT says:

      @ Berselius:
      It highlights the contents (as when you click and drag your cursor over it.)

      Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

    189. Berselius 194 Berselius says:

      I-Stu ———–> Yard

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    190. GBTS 195 GBTS says:

      [spoiler] [spoiler][/spoiler] [/spoiler]

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    191. bubblesdachimp 196 bubblesdachimp says:

      Way to go ian

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    192. GBTS 197 GBTS says:

      Double spoiler fail.

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    193. Suburban kid 198 Suburban kid says:

      @ GBTS:
      I still enjoyed it.

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    194. GBTS 199 GBTS says:

      @ Berselius:
      [spoiler]Nothing.[/spoiler]

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    195. bubblesdachimp 200 bubblesdachimp says:

      I dont think good old Frankie is long for that 40 man spot

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    196. bubblesdachimp 201 bubblesdachimp says:

      Matt Forte ‏ @MattForte22 Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
      for the record I’m not mad at the signing of another running back. This is 4th time that’s happened. I embrace competition as well as help

      Matt Forte ‏ @MattForte22 Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
      But as for not taking care of ur own and undervaluing a player under his market value is another story! #twitterrant

      He is so mad and confused

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    197. bubblesdachimp 202 bubblesdachimp says:

      Brett!!!!!!

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    198. Mish 203 Mish says:

      It took all of what, 2 hours, before we discredited the spoiler widget.

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    199. 204 WaLi22 says:

      So what’s the best browser? Chromium? Incindia Lupus? Finally going to make the switch.

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    200. Mish 205 Mish says:

      I use Firefox but people keep telling me Chrome is better.

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    201. GW 206 GW says:

      I use firefox and chrome. firefox is a memory hog, but it has better ad-block

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    202. Rice Cube 207 Rice Cube says:

      Cubs can has runs today.

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    203. WaLi 208 WaLi says:

      This is nice. I can see the b i link tags and when I click show on spoilers it doesn’t give me an error

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    204. mb21 209 mb21 says:

      Suburban kid wrote:

      And the bases are empty.

      We’ll hear that a lot more frequently this season than in previous seasons.

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    205. mb21 210 mb21 says:

      Mish wrote:

      I use Firefox but people keep telling me Chrome is better.

      Those people are nuts.

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    206. mb21 211 mb21 says:

      @ WaLi:
      You finally gave up IE?

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    207. Rice Cube 212 Rice Cube says:

      @ mb21:
      I think that was the good kind of bases empty though. The kind where the runners who were on there got to trot on home.

      Of course I could be mistaken.

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    208. bubblesdachimp 213 bubblesdachimp says:

      Cant believe everyone doesnt use chrome

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    209. Berselius 214 Berselius says:

      Go Bucky!

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    210. josh 215 josh says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      I was more apologizing to other OV’ers who might not want to know my life history. I realized it was a different guy (Johnson/Johnston, duh) soon after posting, but otherwise my statement remains true, plus I was thinking you worked with Mark Johnson or had mentioned him before a long time ago.

      I’ve recently converted to Chrome, because lately Firefox has been acting shitty. I haven’t had any problems. Plus, it syncs your bookmarks at work, but I know WaLi can’t use it at work. I mean, I’m not stalking him or anything.

      Say, Berselius, don’t you work at UT Austin in the Math department? My college math adviser went there.

      Not stalking.

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    211. 216 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      If Forte thinks he’s undervalued, he needs to explain why he deserves more money than Jamaal Charles, Marshawn Lynch, and Frank Gore.

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    212. Rice Cube 217 Rice Cube says:

      @ Berselius:
      SO CLOSE.

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    213. WaLi 218 WaLi says:

      @ mb21:
      Yeah, just at home. Just got chrome. I wanted to be able to view your damn “Spoiler” tag without getting a script error (dying laughing)

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    214. WaLi 219 WaLi says:

      Also just watched the first two episodes of the WIre. Great show so far!

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    215. Rice Cube 220 Rice Cube says:

      Wow @ Louisville. Well, not really, I didn’t think that MSU was that good, but wow.

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    216. josh 221 josh says:

      @ WaLi:
      The Wire is my favorite TV show of all time, no irony. A friend of mine really hates the second season, but I thought it was fine. But if you find your interest flagging there, its worth sticking with it.

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    217. GBTS 222 GBTS says:

      So I’m currently doing a fantasy baseball draft where the winner gets $500, and someone just took Aaron Harang in the 8th round.

      In related news, I am apparently in a fantasy baseball league with a relative of Aaron Harang.

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    218. Mucker 223 Mucker says:

      I think Forte should fire his agent. His agent obviously told him to pass on that deal the Bears offered him. I’ve heard that the Bears and Forte are far apart on the #s. We know the Bears offered $14 mil guaranteed. He must be asking for $20 mil guaranteed.

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    219. 224 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ WaLi:
      This kid, whose mama went to the trouble to christen him Omar Isaiah Betts… You know, he forgets his jacket, his nose starts running and some asshole, instead of giving him a Kleenex, he calls him “Snot”. So he’s Snot forever. Doesn’t seem fair.

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    220. 225 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Mucker:
      He needs to look at the deals signed recently by starting RBs. He won’t get $20 mil from anyone, and especially not the Bears, seeing as they can tag him this year and next for $16 mil and then let him walk at an age (28) when most RB go into decline.

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    221. Mucker 226 Mucker says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      Oh, I agree. I like Forte but the Bears have more pressing needs then a whiny RB. I think Forte is overvaluing himself a bit.

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    222. Aisle424 227 Aisle424 says:

      [spoiler]The Big Ten fucking sucks[/spoiler]

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    223. 228 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Mucker:
      Like you say, he’s obviously being advised poorly. When he had a bit of leverage, he was offered $14 mil. He now has no leverage. The market for FA RB is tepid, and now the Bears have a plan B. He’s playing this about as badly as one could imagine.

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    224. josh 229 josh says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      Seems like he’s trying to leverage his popularity from last year, sort of get the fan support. Play the hero of the team card. He was definitely the bright spot in the offense two seasons ago.

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    225. SVB 230 SkipVB says:

      @ Aisle424:
      Yeah, I feel your pain, but if OSU wins tonight the conf will still be 10-4 so far and equalled the Big East with 4 Sweet 16 teams.

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    226. SVB 231 SkipVB says:

      @ SkipVB:
      Sorry Josh (and MB?), I meant to type it this way:
      …the conf will still be ten and four so far and equalled the Big East with four Sweet 16 teams.

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    227. 232 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ josh:

      That’s clearly what he’s trying to do, and I think that’s in poor taste. The Bears made him a fair offer, given his age, workload, and deals given to his peers around the same time in a weak market for FA RB. He rejected it. They then gave him a $7.14 mil raise by tagging him. Trying to play the victim at this point looks pretty fucking crass.

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    228. Aisle424 233 Aisle424 says:

      @ SkipVB:
      I don’t fucking care about wins and losses. They fuck me every year. When I buy in and pick them they lose, when I get fed up and pick against them they win. Without fail. It’s uncanny and it happens every god damn year. I hate them all so much. Fuck Izzo, fuck Indiana, fuck Wisconsin and their desperation heave when they had time on the clock and a fucking timeout. Fuck them all.

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    229. josh 234 josh says:

      @ SkipVB:
      Wait a minute, how did I get dragged into the digits discussion? I’ve never made a single comment on spelling words out v. using digits.

      Now, when I’m editing, I follow the Chicago Manual of Style convention and always use digits for all natural numbers > 9, unless that number is being used with or compared to a number > 9 (or a special case where it is part of a name and or title and it appears as digits in that), then I would also use digits, to avoid confusion. So it would definitely be 10-4, and Sweet 16 for me, but I would have said “with four Sweet 16 teams.”

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    230. SVB 235 SkipVB says:

      @ Aisle424:
      yeah, and maybe I spoke too soon about OSU too.

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    231. WaLi 236 WaLi says:

      If you go to spirit airlines website there is an ad telling you to go to ny to see the jets and there’s a picture of someone tebowing (dying laughing) that’s quick marketing

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    232. SVB 237 SkipVB says:

      @ josh:
      Ah, probably my short term memory is messed up. It was a reference to some on-topic discussion here at OV about consistency or not in writing out numbers. Thought it was you and MB, and both admitted to being not entirely consistent.

      But really I was stalking you to see if you were still here.
      (dying laughing)

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    233. SVB 238 SkipVB says:

      @ WaLi:
      Doesn’t Spirit charge you $10 to leave their website?

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    234. 239 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ WaLi:
      KSK had a pic of two d-bags in TEBOW 15 Jets jersey mere hours after the trade was initially announced. Those guys are probably the two most relieved people in NYC right now. (dying laughing)

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    235. josh 240 josh says:

      Found a picture of my family sans me at Giant’s stadium, except it’s called SBC Park. It does make it easier when you can just say Wrigley without having to add “I mean Taco Bell Stadium” with sarcastic jazz hands.

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    236. josh 241 josh says:

      @ SkipVB:
      I’m sorry, I don’t engage in off-topic discussions. I keep it straight and narrow.

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    237. Rice Cube 242 Rice Cube says:

      @ SkipVB:
      They…LIVE.

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    238. Rice Cube 243 Rice Cube says:

      @ josh:
      There were a bunch of mergers before all the phone companies just got absorbed by AT&T.

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    239. josh 244 josh says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      It’s probably possible to correlate the current name (in the picture) with like weather data and how many teeth my brother still has to pinpoint the exact day they were at the stadium.

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    240. SVB 245 SkipVB says:

      @ josh:
      (dying laughing)

      You and your monophonic symphony, six-string orchestra.

      (dying laughing)

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    241. SVB 246 SkipVB says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      /holding breath

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    242. Rice Cube 247 Rice Cube says:

      @ SkipVB:
      Exhale!

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    243. SVB 248 SkipVB says:

      @ Rice Cube
      FFfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

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    244. Rice Cube 249 Rice Cube says:

      I like the part where Ohio State decided that they were better than Cincinnati.

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    245. SVB 250 SkipVB says:

      Neither OSU or Cinci can shoot free throws.

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    246. Rice Cube 251 Rice Cube says:

      They need to change the basketball rules so the ends of close games don’t turn into foul-fests.

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    247. josh 254 josh says:

      [spoiler title="Secret location of the code"]I love that the frog bites him at the end. That’s amazing.[/spoiler]

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    248. Rice Cube 255 Rice Cube says:

      Wife wrote a blog about what she thought about LOTR. Maybe you might find it amusing too.

      http://originalnerdprincess.blogspot.com/2012/03/lord-of-rings-snark.html

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    249. Mish 256 Mish says:

      Tell your wife to read A Song of Ice and Fire series and she’ll change her tune on the fantasy genre.

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    250. josh 257 josh says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      To be honest, I feel about the same way about fantasy. I see a dragon on the cover in the bookstore and immediately skip it. To me, LOTR was interesting for its historical in its significance. Like, your wife mentions fanboys, but there were no fantasy fanboys before LOTR. It basically spawned, or at least brought to popularity, an entire genre. Also, it’s probably completely racist (the evil, twisted monsters that all live far to the east and south of beautiful, protected, virigin England The Shire.

      My favorite things that exist in the fantasy genre are all video games — Final Fantasy, Dragon Age, The Elder Scrolls, etc.

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    251. josh 258 josh says:

      Another book I would recommend that completely reimagines what fantasy could be is Perdido Street Station. That was one of the few fantasy novels I thought was wall to wall entertaining and even thought provoking, in sly sorts of ways.

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    252. josh 259 josh says:

      No kids get pushed out of windows in Perdido Street Station, and it features the most awesome spider in the history of literature.

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    253. Mish 260 Mish says:

      @ josh:
      I’ve always enjoyed fantasy things, but like you mention, it was mostly out of the video game construct. I never read The Hobbit growing up as most did, and my first exposure to LOTR were the movies (which I absolutely enjoyed). Part of it was the epic story and world, sure, but I do realize my love is also in the movie-making aspect (the CGI work, the on-site filming, fight choreography, general cinematic vision, etc). I went back and read the books afterwards, and didn’t really enjoy it. I liked The Fellowship well enough, but the story was just so long and boring at times. I can only listen to so much of Treebeard singing about Middle Earth histories.

      I hadn’t really read any other fantasy-of-that-type in my life, until I recently just read The Hobbit (which wasn’t bad because the story was linear, plus I was interested to see how it fit in with what I knew about the LOTR series) and then started A Song of Ice and Fire. At first I thought it might be just another cliche fantasy thing (in Tyrion’s first fight scene, he uses an axe in the book, and I’m like, “Ok, here’s a dwarf with an axe now”, incredulously). But it ended up not being that. Reading all 5 books in the course of 2-3 months was the most fun I had reading since…I dunno, ever?

      I started the Farseer series on berselius’s recommendation; I’m about a quarter of the way through book 2 and I really like it so far. I just haven’t read as much (or as fast) as I’d like to have.

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    254. josh 261 josh says:

      @ Mish:
      See, my mom was a big (Christian) hippie. So I grew up with C.S. Lewis, Madeline L’Engle, and J.R.R. Tolkein, maybe more because he was friends with C.S. Lewis than for any particular Christian imagery. The Hobbit is a great YA/children’s story, but lacks depth. Most of LOTR could have been cut. I thought Jackson did an excellent job of extracting out the better parts of the books, and the CGI was amazing. I liked the movies more than the books, in total.

      But I was always more partial to the weird stuff, like C.S. Lewis’s space trilogy, and Madeline L’Engle’s…every weird and crazy thing she wrote. Like I said, I’ll read more of SOF&I, but Perdido Street Station really fit into my weirder sensibilities.

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    255. josh 262 josh says:

      In Junior High I finally snuck a read of some Stephen King (my Mom hated him) and that shaped my literary future significantly.

      Further example of weirdness: my last book purchase was “The Eat-a-Bug Cookbook” by David George Gordon. Not a novel.

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    256. Mish 263 Mish says:

      @ josh:
      I also like the movies more than the books, and a lot of it has to do with how Jackson interpreted both the world and characters, as well as how he made the narrative palatable for the big screen. While Fellowship is my favorite of the movies, I find Two Towers to be the most impressive adaption, from what he had to deal with/cut out/imagine and all.

      Other than 2 years of reading every Star Wars novel I could find, I never really dedicated myself to one genre or another. I tend to read established classics in my free time, from “Moby Dick” to “The Idiot” to “(dying laughing)ita” etc.

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    257. Mish 264 Mish says:

      (dying laughing) I can’t cite my favorite novel ever because it has L-O-L in it. I guess the Nabokov talk stops now. (dying laughing)

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    258. josh 265 josh says:

      @ Mish:
      I was kind of a genre whore in high school. I read mostly Stephen King and Dean Koontz, except stuff for class, but obviously being an English major forces you to branch out. Still, my favorite stuff is like Salman Rushdie, Jorge Luis Borges, Toni Morrison, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Ben Okri, Doris Lessing, in short, I like the weirder “literary” (I hate that label) fiction.

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    259. 266 Marilyn Hagerty says:

      We had no need for fantasy in my day. We had reality staring us in the face in the form of fascism, and our brothers didn’t need any video games because the warfare they engaged in was all too real.

      The midday special at Kitty’s was a pork chop dinner ($6.95) when I dropped in recently with a friend, Sue Huus (SH). We sat in a booth near the counter and looked over the menu. I ordered a cup of ham and bean soup and a hamburger. SH had a BLT sandwich with macaroni salad.

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    260. Mish 267 Mish says:

      Ryno?

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    261. 268 Grandpa says:

      We can’t bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m’shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Now where was I… oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn’t get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…

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    262. Mish 269 Mish says:

      I’ll give other people the opportunity to facepalm.jpg/gif this article:
      http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/03/23/pat-robertson-a-peyton-manning-injury-would-serve-the-broncos-right/

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    263. Mish 270 Mish says:

      @ Grandpa:
      Now my story beings in nineteen dickity two. We had to say dickity cause the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickity six miles…

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    264. Mish 271 Mish says:

      Peasants, art thou conversing?

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    265. Rice Cube 272 Rice Cube says:

      @ Mish:
      I neg’d this because I’m annoyed that people still care what Pat Robertson has to say.

      Not you personally, but people in general.

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    266. josh 273 josh says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      He’s basically the evangelical version of Marilyn Manson. He says and does shit for shock value.

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    267. 274 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Rob G. is pissed Mish posted that link.

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    268. Berselius 275 Berselius says:

      @ Mish:

      I read The Hobbit as a wee lad (and also grew up on the Rankin-Bass cartoon), but was not a fan of the rest of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I dug Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe but also was super bored with the rest of the Narnia books (my wife loved them). Mostly what I read when I was younger was Anne McCaffrey and Terry Brooks. Once I got into high school I read Farseer and Wheel of Tedium (er, Wheel of Time), which were vastly better. I didn’t discover GRRM until I got to college. I like the fantasy genre but it’s a thin, toughly defined line between what is good and what is shitty. I can only think of one new novel/series in the genre that I’ve picked up since first reading GoT ten years ago, and it was just kind of meh.

      /cool story bro

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    269. 276 Marilyn Hagerty says:

      josh wrote:

      I was kind of a whore in high school.

      You ‘n’ me both, kiddo.

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    270. Rice Cube 277 Rice Cube says:

      I guess this would be funnier if I logged out and guest-posted as the character.

      [spoiler title="titles have limits!"]My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking, I suggest you try it.[/spoiler]

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    271. Mish 278 Mish says:

      @ Berselius:
      That makes sense. I always had you pegged as a Dungeons and Dragons fanboy since age 4. (dying laughing)

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    272. 279 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      For GBTS or any other law types around here:

      1.) For (apparently falsely) outing Shockey as the Saints’ whistleblower, is Warren Sapp liable for violations of federal whistleblower protection statutes, being as he is an NFL employee?

      2.) If he is liable, then if Shockey is proven not to be the whistleblower, would Sapp still be liable?

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    273. Berselius 280 Berselius says:

      @ Mish:

      I won’t deny that I played Dungeons and Dragons while in elementary school. The original shit too – first edition. Not really a fan anymore these days though.

      /nerd

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    274. Rice Cube 281 Rice Cube says:

      @ Berselius:
      Wow, you had the 37-sided dice and everything?

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    275. WaLi 282 WaLi says:

      So I was out the other night watching some blue grass with my wife and our friend and we notice this one security guy at the show kind of enjoying it. Our friend decides to talk to him for a little bit and they have a good conversation. After she comes by and mentions how he just moved to the US from Egypt not too long ago (6 months?) due to the rioting and what not. He works two jobs, but he loves it here. So much better than living in Egypt (only he misses his parents). It just kind of reinforced the fact that people bitching about living in the US don’t know how good they have it.

      /cool story bro’d

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    276. Mucker 284 Mucker says:

      Josh, what’s your favorite Koontz book?

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    277. Rice Cube 285 Rice Cube says:

      Hmm. Joba Chamberlain screwed up his ankle on a trampoline.

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    278. Rice Cube 286 Rice Cube says:

      Dempster —> Opening Day starter

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    279. Rice Cube 287 Rice Cube says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      That might be a bit premature as I can’t see anything on the Twitters so far. But it’s been hinted at.

      Also, they sent down Rizzo and both Jacksons.

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    280. Rice Cube 288 Rice Cube says:

      Muskat’s Twitter has it now. Maholm = #5 starter.

      RC —> confused

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