Cubs Need Brett Jackson

In News And Rumors by aisle424278 Comments

Normally, I am not someone who wants to rush players to the big leagues.  I wasn’t a fan of bringing Corey Patterson up so quickly. I didn’t even love it when Kerry Wood and Mark Prior were brought up so fast.  I usually want players to develop skills in the minors that will be harder to learn while under the pressure of the big leagues.

But that was when I was young and had delusions that the Cubs minor league instructors might be good for something.  I thought that there was actual development going on.  It turns out that was pretty much a fallacy. 

The big league team had need for a lead-off man, and apparently believed that was Corey’s role in the big leagues, but never seemed to teach Corey those skills while down in the minors.  He came up acting like a middle-of-the-order player but without the power or discipline to ever thrive in that role, and he was completely unable to master the art of getting on base.

So while I would fear a similar fate befalling Brett Jackson after only a total of 212 games in the minors since 2009, he seems like he is probably as good as he is going to get against minor league talent.  I don’t trust the minor league instructors to actually teach him to cut down on his strikeouts, make him a better baserunner, or improve his defense.  I think he pretty much is who he is and right now that is a guy who is probably the best outfielder the Cubs have in their entire system including the major league roster.  He’s certainly one of the three best.  I don’t even think that can be argued.

The Cubs are now having trouble selling out games against the Cardinals when the weather is 80+ degrees, sunny and they are selling $3 beers.  Clearly interest in the current roster is low.  Really low. Phenomenally low.

Top 10 Things Lower Than Interest in the Cubs

10. Ryan Theriot’s approval rating

9. The Marianas Trench

8. Ratings of the Paul Reiser Show

7. Average temperature of a winter on Pluto

6. Alvin’s tolerance for use of the term “dick-high”

5. Todd Ricketts’ IQ

4. Koyie Hill’s batting average

3. Koyie Hill’s defensive skills

2. Koyie Hill’s running speed

1. Koyie Hill’s ability to work a table saw

We are talking low, people.

So what would breathe life into this walking dead corpse of a team?  How about some youth and vitality?  How about some baseball talent?  How about a guy who may be a bit crazy, but in a likable way?

BRETT JACKSON!

Brett Jackson

He’s got a line of .288/.416/.514/.930 so far at AA.  He is 12 for 14 in stolen base attempts.  His career slash line is .301/.404/.494/.898.  That ain’t bad.

Like I said, he might need more seasoning, but the Cubs instructional capabilities are like seasoning with tap water, so this is probably as good as he’s going to get at that level. 

People have said they need to trade an outfielder to make room for him, but since they are barely playing Colvin anyway, just send him down to get some real playing time.  Maybe he’ll accidentally learn some things down there. Then stick Brett in centerfield and rotate in Byrd against the tough lefties.

That won’t sell out the stadium, but it sure would make things interesting.  Watching veterans lose is boring.  There are no moral victories.  This is as good as they are going to get and they suck, so who cares?  You inject some youth in there with actual talent and room to improve and suddenly there is something to matter besides the final score.

Or the Ricketts can keep giving away t-shirts.  Either way.  We’ll see what happens.


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Comments

  1. Suburban kid

    Maybe he’ll accidentally learn some things down there.

    (dying laughing)
    Couldn’t hurt.

    But I still think a trade is needed. Quade won’t bench Byrd or Soriano, and he won’t bench Fukudome unless he starts prolonged sucking.

    I don’t want Jackson to just sit there.

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  2. Rice Cube

    I think if Hendry were to call up BJax, he’d pretty much mandate that he play every day until he starts sucking. I don’t think Q could argue with that as he doesn’t have that kind of pull.

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  3. Aisle424

    [quote name=Suburban Kid](dying laughing)
    Couldn’t hurt.

    But I still think a trade is needed. Quade won’t bench Byrd or Soriano, and he won’t bench Fukudome unless he starts prolonged sucking.

    I don’t want Jackson to just sit there.[/quote]
    I don’t suppose this plan would actually happen. If they had thought this was a good idea, it would have already happened. He would assuredly rot on the bench.

    I’m saying they need to bring him up and play him. They won’t, but it is what they need to do. It would be a start, anyway.

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  4. Aisle424

    Thought it was sometime in May, but if they are that worried about his Super-two status in 2014 (or whenever) while they had 6,000 unsold seats to a Cubs/Cardinals game when the weather was practicially perfect, they need to have MLB take them over Dodger-style.

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  5. WenningtonsGorillaCock

    [quote name=Aisle424]take them over Dodger-style.[/quote]
    Is that like the style of the Dodgers?

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  6. Aisle424

    [quote name=WenningtonsGorillaCock]Is that like the style of the Dodgers?[/quote]
    Nice dick-high snark.

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  7. Rice Cube

    From Muskat:

    Hayden Simpson, the Cubs’ 2010 No. 1 Draft pick, gave up two hits over one inning and was then pulled because of stiffness in his shoulder in Peoria’s 2-1, 11 inning win over Burlington.

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  8. Aisle424

    [quote name=Rice Cube]Now this is just mean…
    [/quote]
    Don’t they know those are people they’re talking about?

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  9. Berselius

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]Did you watch that video?

    Choice A: Wait in a 100-car line to get a double-double.
    Choice B: Wait in a 5-car line to get a double Whataburger.

    That’s an easy one for me. B? GW?[/quote]
    Park and go eat inside. I hate drive thrus. I never use the bank drive thru either.

    I’ve never been to In and Out anyway, so I can’t really say. I liked Whataburger’s Steak Sauce burger, but am pretty meh on their regular one. I also think 5 guys is kind of overrated. I’d go to Culver’s ahead of any of them. I don’t generally get burgers unless I’m traveling anyway, or if I’m randomly hungry for one, which doesn’t happen that often.

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  10. fang2415

    The problem with saying that BJax should be brought up since the farm system can’t teach him anything is that it requires the Cubs management to have enough competence to realize that they are incompetent. It’s like them saying “Our decisions are wrong and we are stubborn; therefore we must work to outsmart ourselves.”

    It’s kind of like last month’s lineups — I liked them, but I couldn’t get excited because I knew that they were only smart by accident. (Based on their Aprils, I wanted Castro and Barney hitting 1-2 because of their OBP and Byrd hitting 3 because he sucks; Q thought Castro was fast, Barney was a slap hitter, and Byrd was an RBI guy).

    We may root for the Cubs to limit the damage of their stupidity, but you have to remember that they would only ever do that for even stupider reasons.

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  11. mb21

    [quote name=Aisle424]I don’t suppose this plan would actually happen. If they had thought this was a good idea, it would have already happened. He would assuredly rot on the bench.

    I’m saying they need to bring him up and play him. They won’t, but it is what they need to do. It would be a start, anyway.[/quote]I agree with this. I do think he’ll be up before too long though. I just don’t see it happening right now. I stand by my mid-June prediction of him making his big league debut.

    You’re definitely right about Jackson being one of the three best outfielder in the organization. As you said, that’s not even arguable. He’s easily better than Soriano and Fukudome. He’s more than likely better and more valuable than Byrd too.

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  12. mb21

    [quote name=Rice Cube]When does the Super-Two deadline pass? Maybe this is one of those on-the-cheap delays.[/quote]Super Two status depends on when players are called up. We won’t know what that status is until the end of the previous year. The Cubs could call him up and keep him for that 7th year since they waited until a few weeks or more after the season started.

    So even if he ended up being eligible for arbitration as a super two, he’s still making league minimum (prorated) in 2011, league minimum in 2012 and 2013 at the very least. So much can go wrong between now and 2014 that I really think any team basing a decision on when to call a player up based on super two status is just doing it wrong.

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  13. mb21

    Do we know if Soto’s injury is a grade 1, 2, or 3 strain? I highly doubt it’s a grade 3 strain. Think Nomar. If it’s grade 1 he can probably be back in about 3-5 weeks. If it’s grade 2 it’s probably at least 6 weeks.

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  14. uncle dave

    You’d think that Byrd would be tradeable at his price, right? You might not get back a king’s ransom, but he should draw something in return.

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  15. mb21

    What impresses me the most about Brett Jackson is that over his last 10 games (including tonight’s game), he’s only batting .233, but his OBP is .410 and he’s slugging .467. An .877 OPS while slumping.

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  16. Aisle424

    [quote name=uncle dave]You’d think that Byrd would be tradeable at his price, right? You might not get back a king’s ransom, but he should draw something in return.[/quote]
    They’re trying to win games, though.

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  17. mb21

    [quote name=uncle dave]You’d think that Byrd would be tradeable at his price, right? You might not get back a king’s ransom, but he should draw something in return.[/quote]Yeah, if the Cubs want to trade him they can. He doesn’t make much money and I’d actually expect something decent in return. Not great by any means, but maybe a back of the rotation starter or a high upside reliever not far from the big leagues.

    I’d probably not trade him though. Fukudome will be a free agent after this season so unless the Cubs are comfortable turning that spot over to Colvin with Jackson in CF, it means the Cubs will have to spend more money on an outfielder than they’re paying Byrd.

    Since it’s the Cubs, they’re going to go into the offseason with the intention of contending. Byrd is a league average ballplayer and he makes less than what he’s worth. Assuming the Cubs make a run at Pujols, they’re going to need cheap production. Guys like Castro, Barney, Jackson, Cashner and even Byrd become that much more important.

    You also have to consider the Cubs will need a 1st baseman and a 3rd baseman. I’d keep Byrd unless the offer was too good.

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  18. Aisle424

    [quote name=mb21]What impresses me the most about Brett Jackson is that over his last 10 games (including tonight’s game), he’s only batting .233, but his OBP is .410 and he’s slugging .467. An .877 OPS while slumping.[/quote]
    Now that’s a stat Ari Kaplan can do something with!

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  19. fang2415

    [quote name=Aisle424]Now that’s a stat Ari Kaplan can do something with![/quote]Nonsense. That stat’s no good to anyone unless we know how often he hit with runners on first and third.

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  20. fang2415

    [quote name=uncle dave]You’d think that Byrd would be tradeable at his price, right? You might not get back a king’s ransom, but he should draw something in return.[/quote]I really wish they’d have traded him last year when a lot of people thought he was good. I could see some stupid team paying big for the guy whose all-American hustle saved the NL All-Star hopes.

    The likelihood of Byrd’s value going on another streak like it did for the first half of the season seems pretty low though. I reckon mb’s right that they’ll keep him until the contract expires, and will probably keep hitting him third the whole time too.

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  21. fang2415

    Speaking of Ari Kaplan, there’s a pretty good discussion of hitting with RISP going on at BCB right now. Also, the impact of Chicago’s negative psychological gestalt on their .424 home win%, compared to the .495 win% in more emotionally nurturing road environments.

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  22. uncle dave

    [quote name=Aisle424]They think that’s what they’re doing.[/quote]Sure, reference the comment above about their unawareness of their competence being an impediment in itself. You’d think that the standings would be easy enough for them to interpret, though…

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  23. uncle dave

    [quote name=mb21]Yeah, if the Cubs want to trade him they can. He doesn’t make much money and I’d actually expect something decent in return. Not great by any means, but maybe a back of the rotation starter or a high upside reliever not far from the big leagues.

    I’d probably not trade him though. Fukudome will be a free agent after this season so unless the Cubs are comfortable turning that spot over to Colvin with Jackson in CF, it means the Cubs will have to spend more money on an outfielder than they’re paying Byrd.

    Since it’s the Cubs, they’re going to go into the offseason with the intention of contending. Byrd is a league average ballplayer and he makes less than what he’s worth. Assuming the Cubs make a run at Pujols, they’re going to need cheap production. Guys like Castro, Barney, Jackson, Cashner and even Byrd become that much more important.

    You also have to consider the Cubs will need a 1st baseman and a 3rd baseman. I’d keep Byrd unless the offer was too good.[/quote]
    Sure, it would depend on where they want to go with the team next year. If they’re gonna open the wallet and get Pujols, then going after someone with a bit more cost certainty (Byrd) makes sense instead of cobbling together, say, a Colvin-Baker platoon out there and rolling the dice on the market for a 3B.

    It’ll be interesting to see how Castro and Barney continue to develop this year, though. If they keep hitting, then the team looks at least reasonable at five of the eight positions, needing only a 1B, 3B, and OF. If moving Byrd facilitated filling one of those slots with a true premium free agent in the offseason, I could hold my nose and go with a combination of untested youngsters and whatever is on the retread pile to fill the last three lineup slots. It’s a model that’s worked fairly well for St. Louis, though in fairness most models will be effective if you have the best player in baseball on your team.

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  24. fang2415

    [quote name=uncle dave]Sure, reference the comment above about their unawareness of their competence being an impediment in itself. You’d think that the standings would be easy enough for them to interpret, though…[/quote]Incidentally, this is a little like the Dunning-Kruger effect (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect), which basically says that stupid people aren’t smart enough to realize how stupid they are.

    All in all, I think the Cubs would greatly benefit from managing the team by simply doing the opposite of everything they think is right. But they’re not as smart as George Costanza, so we just have to keep hoping they’ll be as lucky as Forrest Gump.

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  25. Aisle424

    Who knows? Maybe Hendry knows damn well. Maybe even Ricketts knows, but they have sold themselves on the plan to call themselves “contenders” and an “exciting team.”

    It’s impossible to say if they truly believe the words that are coming out of their mouths, but they are running a short-term strategy of trying to maximize revenue while they have the giant contracts on the books because they know they are paying them either way. The problem is they look like morons for calling this team a contender and I am thrilled beyond words that such a large portion of Cub fandom is bored to death of such mediocrity. They may still sell out their season tickets because of the depth on their waitlist, but a very large portion aren’t bothering to show up to the ballpark which means that is going to be another big chunk coming off their safety net next off-season.

    I doubt we’ll ever know how big a hit that waitlist took because I’m betting a bunch of people passed on tickets and then got right back on the waitlist figuring their number would come back around soon. But the empty seats last night were shocking.

    Hell, The Heckler has a package where there is a pre-party at a bar, it’s $1 hotdog night, and they are playing the Cardinals and that thing was getting tweeted and updated on Facebook by numerous people repeatedly for at least the last 2 weeks. Last I saw last night they still hadn’t sold out.

    It’s remarkable.

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  26. Perkins

    [quote name=fang2415]All in all, I think the Cubs would greatly benefit from managing the team by simply doing the opposite of everything they think is right. But they’re not as smart as George Costanza, so we just have to keep hoping they’ll be as lucky as Forrest Gump.[/quote]
    “My name is George. I’m unemployed, and I live with my parents.”

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  27. Perkins

    [quote name=GBTS]I was fired from my last job for having sex with a cleaning woman on my desk.[/quote]”Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!”

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  28. GBTS

    [quote name=Perkins]http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/daniel-bards-filthy-whiffmaker/

    Not sure if anyone has seen this, but holy shit. It’s either a 99 mph screwball, or that’s the most movement I’ve ever seen on a two-seam fastball.[/quote]That is some whiffle ball shit right there. Ye gods.

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  29. GBTS

    [quote name=melissa]I’m kind of hoping Theriot will get on base so we can see another TOOTBLAN for old time’s sake.[/quote]All the more reason to plunk him.

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  30. Rice Cube

    [quote name=melissa]I hope he’s not.[/quote]
    Watch it. That’s a human being you’re talking about.

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  31. ZappBrannigan

    When Koyie Hill comes up, teams should just move the entire outfield into the infield, since he can’t seem to hit it past any of the bases

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  32. Xoomwaffle

    [quote name=ZappBrannigan]Gah… why send him with no outs?[/quote]
    At the vary least you send Pena to 3rd there, right? They can’t get both, and you may get the run out of it.

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  33. ZappBrannigan

    [quote name=Rice Cube]I must have missed a TOOTBLAN (dying laughing)[/quote]
    Yeah, for some reason they sent Ramirez from second with no outs on Castro’s relatively shallow fly ball to center. The throw was offline and he was still out fairly easily.

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  34. frysredjacket

    [quote name=Rice Cube]Ground-rule double…that doesn’t happen a lot.[/quote]And that’s the second time this season. I don’t think I’ve seen two other ground rule doubles at Wrigley in the past 20 years.

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  35. melissa

    [quote name=Berselius]wow, it is suddenly torrential there[/quote]
    These are exponential torrential times.

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  36. Rice Cube

    That double play was just bad luck and not an official TOOTBLAN, right? I thought there were certain stipulations for a true TOOTBLAN.

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  37. melissa

    [quote name=Rice Cube]That double play was just bad luck and not an official TOOTBLAN, right? I thought there were certain stipulations for a true TOOTBLAN.[/quote]
    No, he was thrown out on the bases thus it qualifies as a TOOTBLAN. Being doubled off of the base on a line drive is nincompoop behavior. It counts.

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  38. Rice Cube

    [quote name=melissa]No, he was thrown out on the bases thus it qualifies as a TOOTBLAN. Being doubled off of the base on a line drive is nincompoop behavior. It counts.[/quote]
    I defer to your better judgment.

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  39. melissa

    Here’s a definition from WV23’s blog, where the TOOTBLAN was coined:

    In short, it is any out a runner makes on the basebaths while attempting to take an extra base – whether advancing from second to third on a groundout (with no runner on first); attempting to stretch a single into a double, a double into a triple and so on; or getting thrown out while advancing on a flyball. It also applies to baserunners who are picked off or who are doubled out on a line drive.

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  40. mb21

    [quote name=uncle dave]Sure, it would depend on where they want to go with the team next year. If they’re gonna open the wallet and get Pujols, then going after someone with a bit more cost certainty (Byrd) makes sense instead of cobbling together, say, a Colvin-Baker platoon out there and rolling the dice on the market for a 3B.

    It’ll be interesting to see how Castro and Barney continue to develop this year, though. If they keep hitting, then the team looks at least reasonable at five of the eight positions, needing only a 1B, 3B, and OF. If moving Byrd facilitated filling one of those slots with a true premium free agent in the offseason, I could hold my nose and go with a combination of untested youngsters and whatever is on the retread pile to fill the last three lineup slots. It’s a model that’s worked fairly well for St. Louis, though in fairness most models will be effective if you have the best player in baseball on your team.[/quote]I think Fielder is more reasonable than Pujols. I just don’t think the Cubs have the money.

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  41. mb21

    [quote name=fang2415]Incidentally, this is a little like the Dunning-Kruger effect (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect), which basically says that stupid people aren’t smart enough to realize how stupid they are.

    All in all, I think the Cubs would greatly benefit from managing the team by simply doing the opposite of everything they think is right. But they’re not as smart as George Costanza, so we just have to keep hoping they’ll be as lucky as Forrest Gump.[/quote]
    The Dunning-Kruger effect reminds me of Al.

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  42. melissa

    [quote name=mb21]I think Fielder is more reasonable than Pujols. I just don’t think the Cubs have the money.[/quote]
    I don’t believe they’re going to have the dough to be a serious player for Fielder either especially with the current attendance rates.

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  43. Rice Cube

    [quote name=melissa]I don’t believe they’re going to have the dough to be a serious player for Fielder either especially with the current attendance rates.[/quote]
    I think it depends on how much money Tom is able to beg daddy for.

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  44. Rice Cube

    [quote name=melissa]Here’s a definition from WV23’s blog, where the TOOTBLAN was coined:[/quote]
    Ah yes, that last line does it. I was just thinking that a line drive that hard-hit wouldn’t give a guy enough time to get back, but then again he shouldn’t have strayed so far away in the first place.

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  45. mb21

    [quote name=GBTS]I was fired from my last job for having sex with a cleaning woman on my desk.[/quote]That sucks. I’m going to have to make sure the bosses around in the future.

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  46. mb21

    [quote name=melissa]I don’t believe they’re going to have the dough to be a serious player for Fielder either especially with the current attendance rates.[/quote]That’s a good point. If you can’t come close to selling out a Cardinals game the attendance late in the season is going to be a joke.

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  47. mb21

    [quote name=Aisle424]Who knows? Maybe Hendry knows damn well. Maybe even Ricketts knows, but they have sold themselves on the plan to call themselves “contenders” and an “exciting team.”

    It’s impossible to say if they truly believe the words that are coming out of their mouths, but they are running a short-term strategy of trying to maximize revenue while they have the giant contracts on the books because they know they are paying them either way. The problem is they look like morons for calling this team a contender and I am thrilled beyond words that such a large portion of Cub fandom is bored to death of such mediocrity. They may still sell out their season tickets because of the depth on their waitlist, but a very large portion aren’t bothering to show up to the ballpark which means that is going to be another big chunk coming off their safety net next off-season.

    I doubt we’ll ever know how big a hit that waitlist took because I’m betting a bunch of people passed on tickets and then got right back on the waitlist figuring their number would come back around soon. But the empty seats last night were shocking.

    Hell, The Heckler has a package where there is a pre-party at a bar, it’s $1 hotdog night, and they are playing the Cardinals and that thing was getting tweeted and updated on Facebook by numerous people repeatedly for at least the last 2 weeks. Last I saw last night they still hadn’t sold out.

    It’s remarkable.[/quote]I mentioned on ACB several times in the comments to MO that I do not believe that either Hendry or Ricketts believes this team is a contender. They’re selling hopes and dreams and trying to make money, which in reality is exactly what they should be doing when the team won’t contend. It would have been nice to see them rebuild and start doing that no later than the all-star break last year, but once they decided not to do that they had to pretend the team was a contender.

    I may not think much of Ricketts, but Hendry has been around this game for a long time. He’s made some good deals, some bad deals, but I refuse to believe the man is an idiot. Listen to any baseball insider talk and they have all the respect in the world for Hendry. If we can sit here on our laptops and recognize this team isn’t a contender, Jim Hendry knows it.

    With attendance down and probably down even more as the season goes on, the odds of a rebuild increases and that’s good. The problem at this point is that you don’t really have any players to trade that are going to bring much in return. If healthy, Soto would. Marmol probably would. Same with Marshall. Matt Garza is their biggest trade piece. When you think about it, that would be a pretty smart move for the Cubs. If they could get something close to what they gave up that would be a pretty good deal for the team.

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  48. mb21

    [quote name=melissa]Phil Rogers is lamenting the Brewers losing Escobar. (dying laughing)[/quote]The guy has a career .273 wOBA. He’s Koyie Hill except he plays a less important defensive position.

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  49. mb21

    This dick-high fastball has me confused. For me that’s anywhere between the ankles and hips. (dying laughing)

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  50. melissa

    [quote name=mb21]This dick-high fastball has me confused. For me that’s anywhere between the ankles and hips. (dying laughing)[/quote]
    Amusing, but wrong.

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  51. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Berselius]Where is the body?![/quote]
    He has become more powerful than you can imagine.

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  52. melissa

    [quote name=mb21]Brett Jackson must have gotten injured in tonight’s game. Left after the 1st.[/quote]
    Maybe they read this post and immediately called him up. (dying laughing)

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  53. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]I feel like a bunt signal should be in there somewhere. RC?[/quote]

    I might have gotten the instructions wrong…

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  54. mb21

    [quote name=melissa]Maybe they read this post and immediately called him up. (dying laughing)[/quote]I’d feel a lot better about this organization if 424 was calling the shots.

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  55. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]Brett Jackson must have gotten injured in tonight’s game. Left after the 1st.[/quote]
    It’s a Way of Life

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  56. Aisle424

    [quote name=mb21]I’d feel a lot better about this organization if 424 was calling the shots.[/quote]
    That is a damning statement about the Cubs leadership.

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  57. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]Hill will end the hit parade.[/quote]
    He doesn’t want to hit that rally-killing HR

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  58. melissa

    [quote name=mb21]I’d be happy if the Cubs left Castro in the 7th spot the rest of the season.[/quote]
    False. It’s already been well documented that you don’t like anything. (dying laughing)

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  59. mb21

    When I was 16 or 17, I had an 82 mph fastball and a pretty good curve. I’m certain that person would have proved difficult for Koyie Hill to hit.

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  60. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]I’d be happy if the Cubs left Castro in the 7th spot the rest of the season.[/quote]
    Me too

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  61. mb21

    [quote name=melissa]False. It’s already been well documented that you don’t like anything. (dying laughing)[/quote]Nice snark.

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  62. Rice Cube

    Pitchf/x on Gameday says his last fastball to Berkman was at 96. Game isn’t on WGN TV and Pat didn’t say anything.

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  63. melissa

    [quote name=Berselius]Did he hit 99 mph on the WGN gun?[/quote]
    Len said he did. Bob said, “that seems a little hot,” but I don’t think anyone said it was dick-high.

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  64. Berselius

    [quote name=melissa]Leadoff walk and strikes out the side, not too bad.[/quote]
    Nice little player

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  65. frysredjacket

    [quote name=GBTS]Garza just steamrollin bitchez.[/quote]How long until the hobbit writes a hatchet piece about his temper?

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  66. Berselius

    [quote name=Xoomwaffle]Average speed to third… again…[/quote]
    [quote name=Keith Law, 15 minutes ago]Latino middle infielder. It’s automatic, isn’t it? RT @TonyMEnglish: @keithlaw its funny how announcers think starlin castro is fast[/quote].

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  67. mb21

    I don’t think Castro is fast, but he definitely has above average speed. There’s not any question about that.

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  68. Rice Cube

    I was looking at the Gameday for the Smokies game. Looks like BJax singled to lead off, stole second, then got picked off. At that point there was an injury delay so who knows…

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  69. mb21

    Kosuke Fukudome’s batting line is just bizarre. Prior to tonight he was hitting .341/.455/.378. His ISO was below .040.

    I’m going to say without even looking at career stats that very, very few players (if any) since 1950 have had a season in which their SLG was 78 points lower than their OBP.

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  70. mb21

    [quote name=Rice Cube]I was looking at the Gameday for the Smokies game. Looks like BJax singled to lead off, stole second, then got picked off. At that point there was an injury delay so who knows…[/quote]Knowing the Cubs luck, he probably broke both legs, strained every muscle in his body and will be on the DL for the next 29 months.

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  71. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21]Knowing the Cubs luck, he probably broke both legs, strained every muscle in his body and will be on the DL for the next 29 months.[/quote]

    *sad face*

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  72. Chris Dickerson

    [quote name=GW]nomar is not terrible in the booth[/quote]
    Funny you say that – I was just thinking to myself what a retard he was in the booth. He just noted that Berg may not swing the bat in his AB because he is ‘an important part of the bullpen’.

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  73. GW

    [quote name=Chris Dickerson]Funny you say that – I was just thinking to myself what a retard he was in the booth. He just noted that Berg may not swing the bat in his AB because he is ‘an important part of the bullpen’.[/quote]
    i’ve enjoyed him so far

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  74. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Berselius]Park and go eat inside. I hate drive thrus. I never use the bank drive thru either.[/quote]
    Inside was even worse. People were in line since Monday morning. Few hundred people.

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  75. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Perkins]”My name is George. I’m unemployed, and I live with my parents.”[/quote]
    And you’re dick high.

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  76. mb21

    Not only has Ryan Dempster been remarkably consistent since returning to the rotation in 2008 (minus some really bad luck this season), his fastball is about as consistent as possible as well:

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  77. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Berselius][/quote]

    Based on the scoreboard clock…
    … that was about two minutes before it started pouring.
    by Al Yellon on May 12, 2011 7:22 AM CDT upreply

    Based on the ominous clouds moving over the field…
    …you’re a fucking moron.

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  78. Recalcitrant Blogger Nate

    [quote name=mb21]Not only has Ryan Dempster been remarkably consistent since returning to the rotation in 2008 (minus some really bad luck this season), his fastball is about as consistent as possible as well:

    [/quote]

    Its been consistently dick-high for years

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  79. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Mish]http://www.minorleagueball.com/2011/5/12/2166368/prospect-of-the-day-darwin-barney-ss-chicago-cubs[/quote]
    No mention of the floating human?

    *evolution joke*

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  80. Dr. Aneus Taint

    Also from Sickels…

    No one saw Darwin Barney as a potential Rookie of the Year candidate pre-season, but he’s playing like one right now. Who is he, and how did this happen?

    I think Alvin gave him a dick-high five (note the hyphen placement) to write that.

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  81. Mish

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]No mention of the floating human?

    *evolution joke*[/quote]
    If the ground started disappearing at a a slow, gradual rate, would humans eventually evolve to fly?

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  82. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Mish]If the ground started disappearing at a a slow, gradual rate, would humans eventually evolve to fly?[/quote]
    That’s at least a year away. I’ll wait, thank you.

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  83. Mish

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]That’s at least a year away. I’ll wait, thank you.[/quote]
    Human evolution is an event I recently enjoyed.

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  84. dylanj

    hayden simpson was pulled with a tight shoulder and brett jackson in to see a hand specialist in chicago

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  85. Mucker

    Soriano looks 50 years old when he runs. When Hill hit that triple, I couldn’t help but notice that. He might have been taking it easy since he knew he was going to score easily, but he looks like he’s in pain when he runs.

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  86. Berselius

    Theriot ——-> not playing today with oblique problem
    Ramirez ——-> not playing Fri because of family matter in Dom Rep

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  87. Berselius

    [quote name=Muck Muckintuck]Soriano looks 50 years old when he runs. When Hill hit that triple, I couldn’t help but notice that. He might have been taking it easy since he knew he was going to score easily, but he looks like he’s in pain when he runs.[/quote]
    I thought the same thing Muck. His legs must be in such awful shape from the past few seasons.

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  88. Mucker

    [quote name=Berselius]I thought the same thing Muck. His legs must be in such awful shape from the past few seasons.[/quote]It’s kind of sad. Even when he’s slowing down after cutting off a ball in the field or something, you can tell it takes so much effort from him. It looks like he’s afraid of stopping or cutting. Could be from pain or maybe he doesn’t trust his legs anymore.

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  89. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=dylanj]hayden simpson was pulled with a tight shoulder and brett jackson in to see a hand specialist in chicago[/quote]
    CHC should really spring and get these guys hookers.

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  90. Berselius

    [quote name=Muck Muckintuck]It’s kind of sad. Even when he’s slowing down after cutting off a ball in the field or something, you can tell it takes so much effort from him. It looks like he’s afraid of stopping or cutting. Could be from pain or maybe he doesn’t trust his legs anymore.[/quote]
    From what I saw of the play, it could have been a big part of that triple he allowed the other day after falling down when trying to cut backwards.

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  91. jtsunami

    [quote name=Berselius]Theriot ——-> not playing today with TOOTBLAN problem
    Ramirez ——-> not playing Fri because of family matter in Dom Rep[/quote]
    Koyie Hill’s triple just granted him at least 4 more consecutive starts. (dying laughing)

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  92. Mucker

    [quote name=Berselius]From what I saw of the play, it could have been a big part of that triple he allowed the other day after falling down when trying to cut backwards.[/quote]He reminds me of the way Dawson used to run and how you could tell that his knees were just shot.

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  93. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Muck Muckintuck]He reminds me of the way Dawson used to run and how you could tell that his knees were just shot.[/quote]
    Or maybe Soriano is just lazy.

    /Cub fan’d

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  94. Rice Cube

    Bartolo Colon has dead babies in his shoulder.

    They should really fund stem cell research.

    /end political mini-statement

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  95. mb21

    [quote name=dylanj]i read he was always in the low-mid nineties before this last start[/quote]We talked about it on here yesterday and how he was hitting 85 to 87 mph this year. The hope is that the illness he had that cost him so much time is the reason. He apparently still hasn’t even put the weight on that he’s lost.

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  96. mb21

    [quote name=Muck Muckintuck]He reminds me of the way Dawson used to run and how you could tell that his knees were just shot.[/quote]Yeah, he needs to be playing 1st base the rest of his career.

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  97. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21]Yeah, he needs to be playing 1st base the rest of his career.[/quote]
    The question is, if Soriano is at 1B after this season, does that mean there’s no pressing reason to sign Pujols or Fielder?

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  98. mb21

    [quote name=mb21]We talked about it on here yesterday and how he was hitting 85 to 87 mph this year. The hope is that the illness he had that cost him so much time is the reason. He apparently still hasn’t even put the weight on that he’s lost.[/quote]http://obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/previews/series-preview-st-louis-cardinals-20-15-at-chicago-cubs-15-18.html#comment-17674

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  99. mb21

    [quote name=Rice Cube]The question is, if Soriano is at 1B after this season, does that mean there’s no pressing reason to sign Pujols or Fielder?[/quote]The problem is that if the Cubs want to contend anytime soon they have to sign one of those guys, which leaves Soriano in LF.

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  100. Rice Cube

    It’s both inspiring and annoying that the Cubs are only four games out of first. It’s too bad that it’ll probably stay this way until the trade deadline so that the Cubs have no “must-sell” klaxon ringing in their ears. Nobody wants to win this division.

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  101. GBTS

    [quote name=mb21]The problem is that if the Cubs want to contend anytime soon they have to sign one of those guys, which leaves Soriano in LF.[/quote]Prince in left field?

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  102. Rice Cube

    [quote name=GBTS]Prince in left field?[/quote]
    He can suck fly balls in with his gravity well. It could work.

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  103. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=mb21]It’s interesting that the same day KG wrote it that Simpson goes down with a shoulder injury.[/quote]
    Will Carroll wrote that Simpson was injured after he noticed his right arm hanging lower than his left when he was doing the YMCA at a faget club last month.

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  104. mb21

    [quote name=Aisle424]

    Doh.[/quote]You can’t help but laugh at this team. A cheap and solid starting pitcher in Randy Wells goes down. One of the better pitching prospects a year ago also gets injured. A cheap and very good catcher gets injured. The top pitching prospect this year can’t get rid of blisters well enough to actually pitch. The best position prospect gets injured.

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  105. Lukas

    [quote name=mb21]You can’t help but laugh at this team. A cheap and solid starting pitcher in Randy Wells goes down. One of the better pitching prospects a year ago also gets injured. A cheap and very good catcher gets injured. The top pitching prospect this year can’t get rid of blisters well enough to actually pitch. The best position prospect gets injured.[/quote]
    …Let’s see what happens.

    The best is yet to come.

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  106. mb21

    [quote name=jtsunami]Koyie Hill’s triple just granted him at least 4 more consecutive starts. (dying laughing)[/quote]I’m guessing Hill starts as frequently as Soto was, which is about 90% of the time.

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  107. mb21

    [quote name=Lukas]…Let’s see what happens.

    The best is yet to come.[/quote]It’s kind of funny. In a sad way. It’s like Wood and Prior. Some of the most talented teams the Cubs had they just couldn’t stay healthy. The 1985 Cubs were on the DL. I’m pretty sure all 25 at the same time.

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  108. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]It’s kind of funny. In a sad way. It’s like Wood and Prior. Some of the most talented teams the Cubs had they just couldn’t stay healthy. The 1985 Cubs were on the DL. I’m pretty sure all 25 at the same time.[/quote]
    See also, Cubs, 2009 edition

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  109. Berselius

    [quote name=Rice Cube]http://www.baseballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=13890

    About Wrigley Field.[/quote]

    The beer selection is, as a Czech man once put it to me years ago, like sex in a canoe—it’s fucking close to water.

    It’s an old joke, I still laugh every time I hear it.

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  110. mb21

    [quote name=Berselius]Whoa, avatars[/quote]We’ll see how it goes. I kind of like them, but if they slow the load times I don’t want to have anything to do with them. It shouldn’t slow them as much as Gravatars do since the images are local, but I don’t know for sure.

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  111. mb21

    [quote name=AndCounting]I need to post something pretty soon, but I have a migraine. Sorry I’ve been AWOL, guys.[/quote]No reason to apologize. The Cubs have been AWOL since 1908 and they’ve yet to apologize.

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  112. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]http://shitmystudentswrite.tumblr.com/

    (dying laughing)[/quote]
    Macbeth couldn’t have loved Lady Macbeth because he was crazy and too busy hallucinating witches and stuff. Also, crazy people can’t do it without going crazy midway through.

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  113. Dr. Aneus Taint

    Was it the Revolutionary War or the Civil War that the Japanese dropped the atomic bomb on Pearl Harbor?

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  114. Dr. Aneus Taint

    Please keep in mind while reading the following; I am in no way trying to be racist. It may come off like that, but it is just to support what I think. Instead of accepting that Hispanics and white will be one, I want Hispanics to stop coming to America, and go back to where they came from. This sounds bad, but I just wants best for me and everyone I know.

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  115. Dr. Aneus Taint

    Indians, the other dark meat, were saved from extinction by the humanitarian, Andrew Jackson.

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  116. mb21

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]Sex is contact between male and female gentiles.

    (dying laughing)[/quote]That was my favorite one.

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  117. mb21

    The stocks and bonds went bad and shit fell in stocks and bonds starting the depression. All these Act and laws really didn’t help. People lost jobs and money. They tried getting shit back on track.

    .

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  118. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=mb21]I think Alvin Yellon could have written half that shit.[/quote]
    That wasn’t a collection of his college work?

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  119. mb21

    [quote name=Mish]Gone for an hour and this thread turns into fuck knwos what.[/quote]That language will not be tolerated.

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  120. Rice Cube

    I like how the Cubs fan is still crying despite the win last night…unless I forgot to refresh or if it’s preempting today’s perfect game by Jaime Garcia…

    Ah, that picture is nicer, just didn’t refresh.

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  121. Chad

    i was sitting on the comode today and i was running my hand back their to make sure everything is still ok and motherfucker there is a 2econd hole up their . like in the tall part of my butrack not the part that shit comes out. i played with it for a while becuase its kind of cool and whatever and some fucking juice came out . and i was like what the fuck . it was like pink or some shit and smeled like feet .

    i tryed to get a doctor apointment but 1) id ont have insurence with my new job and 2) the clnic was closed today becuase of some stupid shit like vaceines or shit for kids . so can i just stick a neele back their and pop it or am i going to have to get use to it and is my pants gonna get that juice shit on it .

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  122. Mucker

    [quote name=Chad]i was sitting on the comode today and i was running my hand back their to make sure everything is still ok and motherfucker there is a 2econd hole up their . like in the tall part of my butrack not the part that shit comes out. i played with it for a while becuase its kind of cool and whatever and some fucking juice came out . and i was like what the fuck . it was like pink or some shit and smeled like feet .

    i tryed to get a doctor apointment but 1) id ont have insurence with my new job and 2) the clnic was closed today becuase of some stupid shit like vaceines or shit for kids . so can i just stick a neele back their and pop it or am i going to have to get use to it and is my pants gonna get that juice shit on it .[/quote](dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)
    (dying laughing)

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  123. Dr. Aneus Taint

    [quote name=Chad]i was sitting on the comode today and i was running my hand back their to make sure everything is still ok and motherfucker there is a 2econd hole up their . like in the tall part of my butrack not the part that shit comes out. i played with it for a while becuase its kind of cool and whatever and some fucking juice came out . and i was like what the fuck . it was like pink or some shit and smeled like feet .

    i tryed to get a doctor apointment but 1) id ont have insurence with my new job and 2) the clnic was closed today becuase of some stupid shit like vaceines or shit for kids . so can i just stick a neele back their and pop it or am i going to have to get use to it and is my pants gonna get that juice shit on it .[/quote]
    Is this the same Chad that I missed the other day?

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  124. Mish

    [quote name=Jame Gumb]Is this the same Chad that I missed the other day?[/quote]
    The same Chad we recently enjoyed?

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  125. Rice Cube

    Posted the new Bunt signal pic on your facebook wall if you’d like to give it a look and see whether you can improve upon it. My Photoshop skills are lacking.

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  126. Rice Cube

    Let’s see if this will work:

    It needs some blending work and maybe that one building from the original pic should be eliminated, but from afar it doesn’t look half bad.

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