Cubs Lose Game and Any Semblance of Being a Decent Team to the Pirates

In News And Rumors by aisle42490 Comments

Last year in an interview with Tom Ricketts, Al Yellon repeatedly asked Tom who owned the Cubs.  He asked 3 or 4 different times in only marginally different ways who owned the Cubs and we all had a good laugh.  I think we can all agree at this point, however, that we no longer need to ask who owns the Cubs.  

The Pittsburgh Pirates do.

Sweet sassy molassey, the Cubs suck against the Pirates (and pretty much anyone else who takes the field against them).

This is what it has come down to.  They are getting their asses handed to them regularly by a team that gives an inordinate number of at-bats to Ronny Cedeno and Lyle Overbay.  Lord sweet Pappy Johnson with an erection…

The Pirates haven’t had a winning season since 1992.  Michael Jordan had just won his first championship. The stain on Monica Lewinsky’s dress wasn’t even a glint in Bill Clinton’s eye.  The Olsen twins were only just starting to annoy us and George Lucas hadn’t completely ruined Star Wars for everyone yet.

They haven’t finished with higher than a .450 winning percentage since 1999.  The Pirates fucking suck. And the Cubs can’t beat them.  Not only are they not beating them, the Pirates are getting all Happy-Go-Jackie on them like a donkey eating a waffle.

But anyone affiliated with the Cubs will still talk about how this team can still be successful.  They just need to tweak a few things and get healthy. 

Four games remain on this homestand, and as Darwin Barney said, “We’re not pulling that (white) flag out yet.”

That’s cute, but why the hell not, Darwin? What about this season is encouraging in the slightest?

Is it the 11-16 record the Cubs have at home? 

Is it the 6-13 record against the pathetic NL Central? (By the way, the shit-tastic Orioles have a 7-12 record in the powerhouse AL East.  They would probably kick the shit out of the Cubs.)

Where is this optimism coming from?  It should be no surprise at all that the bisonshit comes straight from the top.

This Cubs team is a pathetic joke and Tommy and the fam keep peddling the same story, this time as he and Laura were in the Tennessee Smokies radio booth:

“We’ve had some tough breaks from an injury standpoint and gave some games away,” Ricketts said. “As we start to bring some guys back, we’ll be very competitive throughout the summer. In our division, we have the capability to be right there in the mix.”

Meanwhile, the Cubs brought back Randy Wells after he got lit up by AAA hitters in his first rehab start in Iowa, presumably on the assumption that pitching against the Pirates is kind of like a second AAA rehab start.  Of course, he got hammered again, and not in the good way in which Randy is used to getting hammered.

Can we now please just own the fact that 2011 is not the Cubs’ year?  Even if we maybe somehow believed it in April, there can’t be a rational argument that the Cubs are any good anymore.  Can we stop with the disingenuous bullshit?  Nobody is buying it based on the crowds in the stands anyway, no matter what the paid attendance says.

Just call this what it is and stop playing Koyie Hill.  Maybe move Aramis Ramirez’s corpse out of the clean-up spot and see what someone else can do there.  Hell, at least Soriano occasionally hits the ball out of the ballpark. How about it?  What the hell?  How could it possibly be worse?

Let’s not rush our cost-controlled starting pitchers back in some faux-attempt to close the gap with the rest of the division.  They are 7.5 games out and in fifth place and it isn’t even Memorial Day yet. Let’s not blow out Randy Wells’ or Matt Garza’s arms just to show they are trying.

Do what you have to do to sell the remaining tickets.  Have sales, discount beer, offer blowjobs… whatever, I don’t care.  Just please stop talking about how good this team can be.  It is a lie and it makes you look like idiots and it makes me worry that you actually believe it.


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  1. AndCounting

    Awesome, Tim. What has me (dying laughing) the most is that I’m working on a post that makes almost the exact opposite point. But yours is right. (dying laughing)

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  2. mb21

    WGN/CSN has shown Ricketts walking around the crowd a lot the past week. I’ve been wondering if this is something that’s unusual or common. I know none of the other team’s feeds I’ve watched have shown the owners mingling with the crowds. The Brewers feed often shows Mark Attansio and the Rangers feed often shows Nolan Ryan. I’m sure other teams frequently show the team’s owner, but not mingling with the crowd. That just seems like he’s begging for support. It looks horrible.

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  3. mb21

    [quote name=AndCounting]Awesome, Tim. What has me (dying laughing) the most is that I’m working on a post that makes almost the exact opposite point. But yours is right. (dying laughing)[/quote]I love it when I can read two opposing views.

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  4. mb21

    [quote name=gaius marius]65 wins.[/quote]65 is probably too low in my opinion, but I could easily see it. I think they probably win 69 to 72 games. This factors in the Cubs trading a player or two at the deadline. We’ll know where this team is going to finish at the end of June. The schedule that month is ridiculously tough. If they can stay somewhere between 4 to 6 games under .500 between now and the start of July, that’s probably where they end up. I could easily see the team being 15 games under .500 at that point and I’d probably guess they’ll be 10-12 under by the start of July.

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  5. ACT

    Why bring up the Cubs’ lousy home record,as opposed to their decent road record? When people mention how lousy the Pirates were last year they always (and I mean always) bring up their abysmal road record. Same goes for mentioning their lousy record against the central, as opposed to their relative success against other teams. I think there’s easily enough evidence that the Cubs are bad without cherrypicking the data.

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  6. gaius marius

    [quote name=mb21]65 is probably too low in my opinion, but I could easily see it. I think they probably win 69 to 72 games.[/quote]
    yeah, 65 is more my pat answer for opening-day predictions. just reiterating my april snark, is all. they won’t be THAT bad… … will they…? … hmmmm….

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  7. Berselius

    I thought this team was going to win somewhere around 78 wins or so (especially given the shitty NLC), but all these injuries just keep pushing it lower. I don’t know if I would go as low as 65 wins yet but I think a 70-92 season is pretty likely at this point. The Cubs will trade away some players but there won’t be too much impact, win-wise. The only significant changes to the roster will be learing space for younger players. They won’t be able to get much for guys like Pena, Ramirez, and Fukudome. Soriano is pretty much untradeable at this point, and Z isn’t far behind. I don’t think they’ll have the balls to trade someone like Geo or Marmol. Byrd is the only guy who could both be traded and has some small value.

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  8. Berselius

    Whoever is less lazy than I am can actually look up what number I predicted for the Cubs (dying laughing). It could have been closer to 80 or 81

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  9. ACT

    Yes, the injuries lower the projection, as does the fact that some players (Aramis in particular) have lowered their true talent projections.

    More subjectively, the team just looks terrible from an execution standpoint. Missed cutoff men, unnecessary throws, failing to backup plays, playing the outfield deep with the wind howling in… it looks like the first week of spring training. It’s embarrassing.

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  10. Berselius

    [quote name=ACT]Yes, the injuries lower the projection, as does the fact that some players (Aramis in particular) have lowered their true talent projections.

    More subjectively, the team just looks terrible from an execution standpoint. Missed cutoff men, unnecessary throws, failing to backup plays, playing the outfield deep with the wind howling in… it looks like the first week of spring training. It’s embarrassing.[/quote]
    Exactly, ACT. That’s been the most baffling part of the season IMO. I can understand random shit like the pile of injuries the Cubs have seen this year, or decline or bats like Rodrigos. But you’d think that if Quade could bring anything at all to this team it would be that he could cut out these shitty fundamentals.

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  11. mb21

    [quote name=Berselius]Whoever is less lazy than I am can actually look up what number I predicted for the Cubs (dying laughing). It could have been closer to 80 or 81[/quote]I think we all had them at about .500. I went back and forth between 78 and 80. Not sure what I settled on. It would be surprising at this point if the team didn’t lose 90. It will also be equally surprising to me if Mike Quade is the manager next season. It’s not that this is his fault. It isn’t. This team just isn’t very good. Starlin Castro has been the team’s number 3 hitter for awhile now. The offense hasn’t been as bad as I was expecting, but they don’t have any power at all. Aside from Soriano and Pena, they’ve got nothing. Soriano is average or worse against righties and the same thing for Pena vs lefties.

    As for the fundamentals, I think those are skills despite what others say. You can teach them all you want, but some players are always going to suck at them. The Cubs just have a lot of players who suck at the fundamentals.

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  12. mb21

    [quote name=gaius marius]yeah, 65 is more my pat answer for opening-day predictions. just reiterating my april snark, is all. they won’t be THAT bad… … will they…? … hmmmm….[/quote]They could, gm. They’re close enough to that bad that it shouldn’t surprise anybody. Much of the reason people expected the team to bounce back a bit and be .500 was that Ramirez didn’t suck and the team would have relatively decent health. Well, Ramirez isn’t any good and they can’t stay healthy. Doesn’t help that their best power hitter has an OBP that is laughably bad.

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  13. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21] You can teach them all you want, but some players are always going to suck at them. The Cubs just have a lot of players who suck at the fundamentals.[/quote]
    This is why Starlin’s running to first makes AC angry.

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  14. mb21

    [quote name=Rice Cube]This is why Starlin’s running to first makes AC angry.[/quote]It irritates me as well. It seems he’s putting himself in a situation in which an injury is more likely by stopping as quickly as he does. I just don’t understand it. I did see him run through 1st base for the first time in his career the other day.

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  15. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21]It irritates me as well. It seems he’s putting himself in a situation in which an injury is more likely by stopping as quickly as he does. I just don’t understand it. I did see him run through 1st base for the first time in his career the other day.[/quote]
    I thought I was dreaming when that happened…he did it to beat out a double play, but I think he still stopped before most players would have. For his standards he did run through (dying laughing)

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  16. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Berselius]Rodrigo is probably untradeable too with his vesting player option[/quote]
    That depends on whether he’s willing to waive the option like Oswalt did in order to get traded to Philly. But I doubt that happens, and Oswalt is at least useful at this point.

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  17. mb21

    Jim Callis says this is who the Cubs are picking 9th:

    Archie Bradley. He’s a high schooler who actually hit 101 mph recently. Huge man.

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  18. Berselius

    (dying laughing), when it rains it motherfucking pours

    Reed Johnson ——-> DL
    Brad Fucking Snyder —> Cubs

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  19. Berselius

    Tyler Colvin, still at AAA. (dying laughing) Colin Wyers pointed out that somehow the Cubs have an even lower opinion of Colvin than we do

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  20. ACT

    [quote name=Berselius](dying laughing), when it rains it motherfucking pours

    Reed Johnson ——-> DL
    Brad Fucking Snyder —> Cubs[/quote]Let the kid play!

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  21. Berselius

    Lineup today

    Fukudome
    Barney (when’s the last time he’s had a day off?)
    Castro
    Rodrigo
    Peenya
    Adolfo
    Campana
    Koyie
    Demp

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  22. Berselius

    Looking at the radar, it looks like the Pirates will have to mercifully finish the sweep later this season

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  23. Berselius

    [quote name=Rice Cube]Bah! Does that mean Soto got stuck in transit?[/quote]
    According to Miles and/or Muskat, he made it there

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  24. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Berselius]Looking at the radar, it looks like the Pirates will have to mercifully finish the sweep later this season[/quote]
    Not if Mike Quade has anything to say about it before five full innings are played and the Cubs aren’t in the lead!

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  25. Chris Dickerson

    [quote name=Rice Cube]Bah! Does that mean Soto got stuck in transit?[/quote]
    I don’t know if it matters to the Cubs, but he hasn’t had a hit yet on his rehab at either EXST or AA.

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  26. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Chris Dickerson]I don’t know if it matters to the Cubs, but he hasn’t had a hit yet on his rehab at either EXST or AA.[/quote]
    I saw that. That does kind of suck. Last night in Tennessee though he hit a warning track shot so I think the power’s still there.

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  27. dylanj

    i awoke this morn to heavenly trumpets alerting me to the fact that BRAD FUCKING SNYDER! has arrived to the bigs.

    Cubs Win.

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  28. dylanj

    i think this team is exactly what we all thought around a .500 level. Then they had injuries to the SP and the replacements pitched so awful it defies logic.

    In good news though Szrururuzu continues to rake in A ball and McNutt used 73 pitches to throw 7 shutout innings.

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  29. mb21

    [quote name=dylanj]i awoke this morn to heavenly trumpets alerting me to the fact that BRAD FUCKING SNYDER! has arrived to the bigs.

    Cubs rained out.[/quote].

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  30. mb21

    [quote name=dylanj]i think this team is exactly what we all thought around a .500 level. Then they had injuries to the SP and the replacements pitched so awful it defies logic.

    In good news though Szrururuzu continues to rake in A ball and McNutt used 73 pitches to throw 7 shutout innings.[/quote]Didn’t you pick them to win the division?

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  31. Rice Cube

    The wussout is on?

    Not that it’s a true wussout as the thunderbolts and lightning are apparent.

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  32. dylanj

    yeah, i did. I thought their talent level was .500 but that they would over perform based on the rotation being really solid. I really thought that the Cubs SP was better than any other rotation in the central. shows what i know

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  33. mb21

    [quote name=Rice Cube]The wussout is on?

    Not that it’s a true wussout as the thunderbolts and lightning are apparent.[/quote]I don’t know. I just saw berselius say something about a wussout. I took him at his word.

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  34. mb21

    shows what i know

    no, just shows you’re still optimistic. I thought the rotation would be a lot better than it has been, but I wasn’t counting on anything from the 5th spot (Cashner). He was pretty bad last year as a reliever and his projections, as a reliever, were average to below replacement. I thought they’re top 4 would be really good, but not as good as the Cardinals or Brewers. I thought their offense would suck and it’s been pretty good thanks to a very high BABIP. I didn’t expect much power and they haven’t hit for any. I also expected horrible defense and baserunning. I was wrong as much as I’ve been right.

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  35. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21]Looking at the weather map I could see them starting around 2 or 3. After 4 it looks pretty clear.[/quote]
    The pix I saw showed really soggy warning tracks and tons of standing water. Your newfound optimism is refreshing but I’m leaning on the side of wussout today.

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  36. Berselius

    [quote name=Rice Cube]The pix I saw showed really soggy warning tracks and tons of standing water. Your newfound optimism is refreshing but I’m leaning on the side of wussout today.[/quote]
    That stuff doesn’t concern me like it used to. IIRC they rebuilt the field a few years ago and Len, Pat et all couldn’t shut up about how fast it drained.

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  37. Berselius

    [quote name=Rice Cube]Are those actual fans in the seats? Them’s some brave souls.[/quote]
    They could be cardboard cutouts put in place by the marketing dept to convince people there is demand for Cubs tickets (dying laughing)

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  38. Berselius

    [quote name=Alvin]Not calling this game is inconsiderate to players and fans. #Cubs management should be ashamed for putting money ahead of safety[/quote]
    (dying laughing)

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  39. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Berselius](dying laughing)[/quote]
    Is he tweeting this from his seat in the bleachers? Because that would really make me (dying laughing)

    Rain delay.

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  40. Suburban kid

    [quote name=Perkins]Does Alvin not realize that fans have the option of not showing up?[/quote]But Alvin has to show up if it hasn’t been called, because he has to.

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  41. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21]I am surprised they haven’t called the game.[/quote]
    Seriously, they’re trying to win not lose ball games here.

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  42. Suburban kid

    Is it legal to pitch in the stretch making only one movement, i.e., skipping the stretch part where you take the catcher’s signs, and starting from a set position?

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  43. Rice Cube

    http://blogs.dailyherald.com/node/5779

    “Cassie needs to go play,” said manager Mike Quade of Castillo. “Snyder gives us some help in center field and helps keep us balanced with left- and right-handed bats. He’s been playing like a son of a gun at Triple-A.”

    Well, “Cassie” could have played and probably should have played more than he did while he was here. As for Soto not starting today, Q said: “He just got here. Hilly’s caught Demp a lot lately. He’s hit this guy pretty good. I think we give Sote a day to get acclimated and get back into the swing of things.”

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  44. Suburban kid

    Are the Cubbies going to play this gamey? I don’t think the plays or fannies want to sit in the rainy all dayie only to have to trav home like wet pups. Cubbie manage should be ashamed of putting mon ahead of safet.

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  45. Rice Cube

    [quote name=Suburban kid]Are the Cubbies going to play this gamey? I don’t think the plays or fannies want to sit in the rainy all dayie only to have to trav home like wet pups. Cubbie manage should be ashamed of putting mon ahead of safet.[/quote]
    (dying laughing)

    Yeah, for some reason they think they can still get this game in. The storm is moving out.

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  46. mb21

    [quote name=Berselius]http://www.baseballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=14071[/quote]I did the same thing with wOBA the other day. I want credit. (dying laughing)

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  47. Berselius

    [quote name=mb21]Hill’s nickname is Hilly? (dying laughing)[/quote]
    I thought “Sote” as a nickname for Soto was even dumber (dying laughing)

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  48. mb21

    I assumed that was an error. Otherwise I’d think it would be Sotey or Soty and not Sote. Maybe he’s pronouncing it So-tay. (dying laughing)

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  49. Rice Cube

    [quote name=mb21]What’s Zambrano’s nickname? Biggy Z?[/quote]
    That’s a pretty good rapper name. Big Z needs to dress up like Huggy Bear now.

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  50. mb21

    [quote name=Suburban kid]Cassie for Castillo makes no sense. It should be Castie, obviously. (Or, Cast.)[/quote]Hilly makes sense, but it’s just stupid. I’d almost guarantee if you asked him that he hates that name. I’m sure Castillo hates Cassie as well.

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