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  • Why Won’t ESPN Leave Steve Bartman Alone?

    It's March Madness and everyone is doing brackets.  Lots of people are taking part in an office or family pool, and are all pissed off about the state of their actual NCAA brackets.  Others are using this time to create their own versions of a tournament.  The Cubs did their bunting tournament, Sarah Spain over at espnW put together a Bracket of Awesome, and someone did a tournament of beers that can be found in Walt Disney World.  There are hundreds of other homages to the tournament running around out there. Fun right?

    So ESPN Chicago decided to do a tournament of their own called Chicago's Public Enemy No. 1 and seeded our 16 Chicago sports villains to see who we all hate the most.  Ok, it isn't as positive as the other tournaments I mentioned, but when you are talking about 16 people from Chicago sports that people hate, you have to figure those people have got to be pretty used to being the villain, and in some cases actually relish it.

    The list includes: Bill Laimbeer, Bill Wirtz, Brett Favre, LeBron James, Milton Bradley, John Starks, Jerry Krause, Michael McCaskey, Albert Belle, Forrest Gregg, Reggie Miller, Cade McNown, Sammy Sosa, Isiah Thomas, Rex Grossman and…. Steve Bartman.

    Laimbeer and Gregg intentionally tried to injure our players. McCaskey, Wirtz, and Krause oversaw the decimation of proud franchises under their watch. Bradley and Belle were assholes who never really lived up to their contracts. McNown and Grossman were full of ego and failed potential.  Favre, Thomas, Miller and LeBron were good-to-great players on teams that were constant thorns in our sides.  Starks was a dick, who managed to have some of his best games at our expense.  Sammy Sosa cheated and quit on his team (I'm assuming that is the reason he is included). Steve Bartman happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    Every other person on this list did something purposeful and real in their chosen career field to earn Chicago fans' dislike.  It comes with the territory of being involved in sports. If you are a rival, people won't like you. If you perform poorly as a member of someone's favorite team, people won't like you. Steve Bartman went to a playoff game and touched a ball that was out of play and may or may not have been catchable by Moises Alou.  He did what 99.9% of other sports fans in that situation would have done. He did what everyone else in that section that night tried to do.  So why would he get included in something intended to determine who Chicago fans hate most?

    Couldn't find other villains?  Without even digging into Bears, Sox, Bulls, or Blackhawks lore, I can think of plenty of people who should be included instead of Steve Bartman. What about Steve Garvey? What about Dwight Gooden? What about Will Clark?  What about Larry Himes? What about Todd Hundley? How about Alex Gonzalez, who actually botched the play that would have, at minimum, cut the bleeding by getting at least one out that same night that Bartman became famous? No, ESPN has to go and drag Bartman back out for another round of whipping from meatballs who actually think he is to blame.  

    In their little match-up preview, they even say, 

    Much of Cubs Nation has long since forgiven Bartman, who apparently has not been seen at a game at Wrigley since.

    So why the hell is he even included if we all forgave him?  How is Bartman even in this tournament, much less getting votes?  Because ESPN (and other members of the media) can't let it go.  He's an easy target because he steadfastly refuses to come out and say anything in his defense. Hell, Steve, at this point come on out and make some damn money off of this.  They're never going to let it go.  You have to know by now that they won't.  It's been nine years and I'm already sick of the stunts they have pulled to try to capitalize on your ill-gotten fame.  I may have to move and completely shut down my internets when the 10-year anniversary rolls around.  That is going to be an epic example of douchebaggery in the name of journalism.

    Look at what they have already done. ESPN had to go and dredge up Bartman for their 30 for 30 series because they knew it would get ratings.  Sure, Bartman refused to participate, but that didn't stop ESPN from schlocking it all together with some tacked on references to Boston so they could also get the East Coast crowd to watch.  ESPN also once sent a reporter to stalk Bartman at his house and then ambush him in the parking lot of his place of employment.  You think I'm exaggerating?

    Finally, as the street comes to an end, I see the Bartman home. Tucked back into a wooded lot with mature trees and curious squirrels, the white bi-level home looks warm and inviting. Four vehicles sit in a circular driveway, two of which — a shiny black Acura and a generic black pickup truck — look like they could belong to a man in his late 20s. Inside, the house appears quiet. The drapes are drawn. The doors and windows are closed. I park across the street and wait. A neighbor eventually walks outside, picks up his morning paper and stares at me, likely wondering why this rental car with Kentucky plates has been sitting in front of his house for more than an hour. That's the moment when I flash back to something Cohen told me earlier in the week. "I'm not going to say people don't drive by, but I don't pay attention," he said. "It's a quiet street — everybody looks out for everybody else." I feel like a stalker. More dirt-digging private investigator than entrepreneurial journalist. More People Magazine than ESPN. Hoping to quell the neighbor's suspicions and avoid a loitering ticket, I drive off and find another spot at the end of the street to wait.

    Later:

    His car and mine are the only two left on the roof of the garage. I worry that he saw me hovering and left with a friend. I wonder if he went out for beers with a coworker. Maybe his car died and he caught a ride home. Or is he really staying this late on the final day of the work week? I decide to wait one more hour. I've come this far, why quit now? Fifteen minutes later, the door again swings open. This time, it's Bartman. I jump out of my car, walk over with my hand extended and introduce myself.

    Who does that?  ESPN does, that's who.

    As we all know by now, Steve Bartman has refused every single request to speak on the subject of Game 6 or any other subject.  All he wants is to be left alone, but what ESPN wants, ESPN is going to get.  You begin to see why they have absolutely no problems advancing the fame of known wife-beaters, sex offenders, and other criminals that are good at sports, because any entity with the hint of a soul or spark of humanity left would leave this man the fuck alone.  But ESPN will savage Bartman's name like piranha that smell blood in the water because that is their primal instinct. Piranha have no remorse after gutting a victim who happened into the wrong part of a river, and ESPN has no remorse for what they do to Bartman at every opportunity.

    You'd think they would move on to a target that at least tries to self-righteously defend himself, or someone who figures they might as well cash in on whatever unwanted fame has befallen him.  That is at least a little sporting.  But ESPN seems content to continue to just keep bludgeoning this guy who refuses to defend himself.

    There is nothing more to see here folks.  Nothing.  Nothing new has developed since Bartman made his one public statement and then tried to dissolve back into anonymity:

    "There are few words to describe how awful I feel and what I have experienced within these last 24 hours. I've been a Cub fan all my life and fully understand the relationship between my actions and the outcome of the game. I had my eyes glued on the approaching ball the entire time and was so caught up in the moment that I did not even see Moises Alou, much less that he may have had a play. Had I thought for one second that the ball was playable or had I seen Alou approaching I would have done whatever I could to get out of the way and give Alou a chance to make the catch. To Moises Alou, the Chicago Cubs organization, Ron Santo, Ernie Banks, and Cub fans everywhere I am so truly sorry from the bottom of this Cubs fan's broken heart. I ask that Cub fans everywhere redirect the negative energy that has been vented towards my family, my friends, and myself into the usual positive support for our beloved team on their way to being National League champs."

    That statement makes you want to cry.  He felt terrible about it.  He practically takes the blame for what happened next onto himself even though his deflection likely didn't matter in the slightest.  ESPN sees only the need to try to dig more out of him than the soul-baring his statement already provided.  The bitch of it is that it isn't because they actually think some new statement or interview from Bartman would actually bring closure to the situation.  If someone at ESPN actually thought that Bartman was hiding some insidious plot to sabotage the Cubs' playoff run, you might understand their actions.  They would be digging for hidden truth.  But the fact that the statement should stand on its own as a final comment about the incident doesn't register.  There has to be more, and wouldn't it bring massive ratings?  That is what drives them.

    So ESPN has already succeeded in doing what they set out to do.  We are talking about their site and their brand.  I am feeding the beast with this blog post.  Not that it matters. It's already been a subject on Twitter and Facebook, and I'm sure this won't be the only blog to talk about it.  

    Then when this dies down, ESPN will go back to finding other ways to drag Steve Bartman's name out into the street and beat it to death because they could give a shit that the guy never did anything wrong.  Some day, at Steve Bartman's funeral, there will be some prick with an ESPN microphone shoving it in the face of any friend or family member too slow to avoid them, asking if Steve died regretting what he did in Game 6.  Bank on it.

    79 Responses to “Why Won’t ESPN Leave Steve Bartman Alone?”

    1. Mish 1 Mish says:

      Agreed x 1000. Great stuff Aisley.

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    2. 2 Mercurial Outfielder says:

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    3. 3 Mercurial Outfielder says:

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    4. Aisle424 4 Aisle424 says:

      It just pisses me off so much. What the fucking fuck?

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    5. 5 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Aisle424:
      Because you can find no hive of scum and villainy greater than ESPN. As proof I humbly submit the fact they are solely responsible for Bill Simmons’ career.

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    6. Rice Cube 6 Rice Cube says:

      @ Aisle424:
      I hope he gets less crap from his family, friends, and work. That’s unfortunately all he can hope for at this point. It’s really sad that he can’t even set foot in Wrigley Field again because everybody knows who he is and probably won’t leave him alone to enjoy a game.

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    7. 7 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Rice Cube:

      Yeah, he’ll be accepted back at Wrigley around the same time as they decide to remember that Sammie Sosa used to play for the Cubs and was pretty good.

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    8. Mish 8 Mish says:

      Mercurial Outfielder wrote:

      Because you can find no hive of scum and villainy greater than ESPN.

      https://twitter.com/#!/dan_bernstein/status/184415788470509569

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    9. Rice Cube 9 Rice Cube says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      My friend asked the Cubs brass about that at the Convention (mostly about retiring Sosa’s number). The response was somewhere between a smattering of boos and a gasp for air. I don’t even remember what the Cubs said about that, but it was pretty comical.

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    10. 10 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      You know, you could make a pretty good argument that a significant amount of what the Cubs are, in terms of a cultural totem, is due to Sosa. Having WGN do games is probably the biggest single factor, but what Sosa did for this team from 98-03 in terms of keeping them visible is a huge factor that’s entirely ignored now. There’s a whole generation of Cubs fans that are Cub fans because of Sammy Sosa, and I can’t imagine the level of cognitive dissonance it takes for them to now treat him as a pariah.

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    11. mb21 11 mb21 says:

      Great job, 424.

      I may have to move and completely shut down my internets when the 10-year anniversary rolls around. That is going to be an epic example of douchebaggery in the name of journalism.

      Imagine what it’s going to be like in the next playoffs in which the Cubs are close to winning. They were saved much of that nonsense in 2007 and 2008 because they were swept. If the Cubs were up 2-1 in the first series it would have been insane. If they were up 3-2 in the NLCS or tied, even crazier. Imagine it in the World Series.

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    12. mb21 12 mb21 says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      I think we talked about it a few months ago, but the best thing this front office could do in their first year is giving that guy season tickets for life plus playoff tickets too.

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    13. 13 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:
      And have him throw out the first pitch, and make it clear that they’re no longer indulging in the “curse” bullshit. But I think Tommy Boy still has a bit too much bleacher culture in him to do something like that. Although I doubt Bartman would ever even consent to such a thing even if they wanted to do it.

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    14. mb21 14 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      I agree to some extent, but I think you have to put him with other stars. Regardless of what the fans now say, he was a big reason why anyone watched the Cubs for about a decade. That’s where the Cubs of the last few years really fails. They have no superstars. Starlin Castro is as close as it gets to that and he’s no superstar. Sure, he could become one. It wouldn’t surprise me, but it’s not likely either. In my lifetime the Cubs have had greats along the way like Ryne Sandberg, Greg Maddux, and Sammy Sosa. Kerry Wood flirted with it early on. So did Mark Prior. Zambrano did better than both of them and sustained a high level of performance for several years. Ramirez and Lee were good, but not superstars. Nobody was going to turn on the TV just to watch those two with the possible exception of Lee’s 2005 season. This team is as uninteresting as it is in part because they have no superstars.

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    15. 15 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:
      Yeah, and they passed on the chance to get one of those this offseason.

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    16. mb21 16 mb21 says:

      Mercurial Outfielder wrote:

      Although I doubt Bartman would ever even consent to such a thing even if they wanted to do it.

      I doubt he would too. That guy has been put through hell for doing something any other person would have done. If it were me, I’d have become a Cardinals fan and celebrated like crazy when they won it all in 2006 and 2011.

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    17. 17 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:
      On TV. And then thanked Cub fans for relieving me of unending torment of being a Cubs fan.

      “ESPN wants a story? Here’s a story: Fuck Cub fans, fuck Moises Alou, and fuck ESPN for never leaving me alone. Now you can all get out of my house before I call the cops.”

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    18. Rice Cube 18 Rice Cube says:

      http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2012/03/dodgers-notes-grabow-munoz-kroenke.html

      Jamey Wright has been told he will be added to the Dodgers roster once the team completes the official paperwork, tweets Dylan Hernandez of the Los Angeles Times. Hernandez previously reported that Wright can earn $900K if he makes the club’s roster, with up to $500K extra in incentives based on innings pitched. It seems like L.A. had a choice to make between Wright and Grabow and chose Wright, and by letting Grabow walk before March 30, the Dodgers save paying him an extra $100K bonus.

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    19. Rice Cube 19 Rice Cube says:

      @ Rice Cube:
      Although at this point they probably both suck, but just based on my experience with Grabow, I’ll say they chose wisely by default.

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    20. GBTS 20 GBTS says:

      [spoiler]Because they’re cunts.[/spoiler]

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    21. 21 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ GBTS:
      FLAGGED

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    22. Berselius 22 Berselius says:

      Mercurial Outfielder wrote:

      You know, you could make a pretty good argument that a significant amount of what the Cubs are, in terms of a cultural totem, is due to Sosa. Having WGN do games is probably the biggest single factor, but what Sosa did for this team from 98-03 in terms of keeping them visible is a huge factor that’s entirely ignored now. There’s a whole generation of Cubs fans that are Cub fans because of Sammy Sosa, and I can’t imagine the level of cognitive dissonance it takes for them to now treat him as a pariah.

      I am a Cubs fan today because of Sammy Sosa. I’m sure I’m not the only one either.

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    23. Rice Cube 23 Rice Cube says:

      @ Berselius:
      I can’t argue with you today.

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    24. 24 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Berselius:
      There’s probably thousands of you, b. Most lacking the testicular fortitude to say so.

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    25. 25 fonteYES says:

      In response to this, another absurd act of douche by the chicago sports philistines, I suggest a revival of the grand tournament of douche.

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    26. josh 26 josh says:

      @ Berselius:
      Yeah, I had completely stopped watching baseball until Sammy’s prime years.

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    27. josh 27 josh says:

      Awesome article. That’s what gets you, is that he seems like a genuinely nice person. He felt shitty about it, and he was remorseful, and more to the point it didn’t make a difference. Moises Alou shitting his pants in anger about it was probably more damaging to team morale than what Bartman did. Just leave the dude alone.

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    28. 28 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ josh:

      Alou’s reaction was fucking ridiculous.

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    29. Rice Cube 29 Rice Cube says:

      @ josh:
      I haven’t watched the clip in many years, but the look of genuine remorse on his face after he realized that he might have interfered with the second out (whether or not Alou could’ve caught it) is something I’ll always remember. I don’t know if it was because I wasn’t physically there, or wasn’t actually from Chicago or whatever, but I just felt so sorry for him right then. He had to feel like total shit and I guess I don’t see how nobody else realized that. He didn’t need the entire Cubs fanbase flinging even more shit at him.

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    30. Rice Cube 30 Rice Cube says:

      @ fonteYES:
      Doesn’t Paul Sullivan always win?

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    31. 31 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Rice Cube:

      The Once and Future Douche

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    32. Aisle424 32 Aisle424 says:

      39% of voters in that tournament hate Steve Bartman more than Dollar Bill Wirtz. I hate people.

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    33. EnricoPallazzo 33 EnricoPallazzo says:

      playing in a fantasy league and just realized how weird the points are for this one. anyone have any recommendations here?

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    34. EnricoPallazzo 34 EnricoPallazzo says:

      (blown saves is the last category at -2 points)

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    35. 35 ACT says:

      Alou’s reaction was a spontaneous emotional outburst, and he seemed repentant afterwards. I see no reason to be angry with him. I’m much more annoyed at how the press, including the TV crew, made big deal about Bartman.

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    36. 36 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Aisle424:

      Take comfort in the fact that

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    37. josh 37 josh says:

      I always hated Will Clark.

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    38. mb21 38 mb21 says:

      @ EnricoPallazzo:
      I like how saves are worth 5 and shutouts 3.

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    39. mb21 39 mb21 says:

      Double worth 2, stolen base worth 3. Weird.

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    40. josh 40 josh says:

      @ ACT:
      I don’t hate him. I’m saying I think his outburst did more to set a mood of dread than what Bartman did.

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    41. mb21 41 mb21 says:

      EnricoPallazzo wrote:

      playing in a fantasy league and just realized how weird the points are for this one. anyone have any recommendations here?

      Have you already drafted? Based on glancing at it appears getting on base isn’t that important, but power is hugely important. Speed is also important.

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    42. GBTS 42 GBTS says:

      @ EnricoPallazzo:
      Yeah, don’t draft Cubs.

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    43. Berselius 43 Berselius says:

      mb21 wrote:

      I like how saves are worth 5 and shutouts 3.

      Technically shutouts are worth 15

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    44. EnricoPallazzo 44 EnricoPallazzo says:

      @ mb21:
      yeah i know. i actually like this scoring system but i wish i would have realized how different it is earlier. the draft starts in like 10 minutes so oh well.

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    45. Berselius 45 Berselius says:

      mb21 wrote:

      Have you already drafted? Based on glancing at it appears getting on base isn’t that important, but power is hugely important. Speed is also important.

      So pretty much just like 5×5 leagues

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    46. 46 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ ACT:
      Alou, postgame:

      After the game, he said: “I timed it perfectly, I jumped perfectly. I’m almost 100 percent that I had a clean shot to catch the ball. All of a sudden, there’s a hand on my glove.”

      He didn’t have kind words for Bartman on that night either.

      “Hopefully, he won’t have to regret it for the rest of his life,” he said.

      Then in 2008, he changed his mind:

      “Everywhere I play, even now, people still yell, ‘Bartman! Bartman!’ I feel really bad for the kid,” Alou told Associated Press columnist Jim Litke.

      “You know what the funny thing is?” he added a moment later. “I wouldn’t have caught it, anyway.”

      But then 3 months later, he changed his mind again:

      Litke wrote that Alou, now with the New York Mets, told him this when he ran into him last summer at a department store. But Alou said last week that he did not recall telling Litke that.
      “I don’t remember that,” he said, according to the Post. “If I said that, I was probably joking to make [Bartman] feel better. But I don’t remember saying that.”
      Another thing Alou wants to make clear is that Bartman — whose life was turned upside down from that infamous moment — should be forgiven and left alone.
      “It’s time to forgive the guy and move on. I said that the night it happened,” Alou said, according to the Post.

      At best, he’s been inconsistent about the entire affair.

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    47. Berselius 47 Berselius says:

      Berselius wrote:

      Technically shutouts are worth 15

      21 if you don’t lose the game (dying laughing). The Cubs could find a way to allow 0 runs and lose

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    48. mb21 48 mb21 says:

      @ ACT:
      I’m more annoyed by the press too, but Alou’s reaction was unnecessary. He probably wasn’t catching that ball. He acted like his child had been kidnapped. I can’t help but think this whole thing doesn’t happen in the way it did if Alou handled himself better.

      You’re right that it was spontaneous and that’s worth something for sure, but I still feel like his outrage was responsible for what happened afterward.

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    49. 49 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ josh:

      He was my favorite player at the time and then he went and just singlehandedly destroyed my favorite team in the playoffs.

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    50. josh 50 josh says:

      @ EnricoPallazzo:
      So your pitcher earns half a point by hitting dudes?

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    51. EnricoPallazzo 51 EnricoPallazzo says:

      mb21 wrote:

      Have you already drafted? Based on glancing at it appears getting on base isn’t that important, but power is hugely important. Speed is also important.

      yeah i will concentrate on high SLG players but i’m not entirely sure what to do about pitching. IP appears to be slightly more important than W, which i like, but some of those stats are weird. for example 1 K = 4 GIDP????

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    52. 52 ACT says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      OK, I didn’t know about the after-the-game comments (though his comment about Bartman’s not having to regret it could be interpreted either way. I don’t necessarily trust the reporters to get the context and tone right).

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    53. Berselius 53 Berselius says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:

      Could you imagine if the Cubs had gone to that WS, then saw it interrupted by an earthquake and lose? Bartman x 100

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    54. 54 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ ACT:

      Yeah, there’s a lot left to the imagination there, but it’s pretty damn disingenuous to say he would’ve caught the ball and then follow that up by telling people to forgive Bartman.

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    55. EnricoPallazzo 55 EnricoPallazzo says:

      josh wrote:

      So your pitcher earns half a point by hitting dudes?

      yes! what the hell?

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    56. josh 56 josh says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      That’s pretty much how I feel. I loved watching him hit, but if he acts professional, goes back to his spot, plays it off, laughs, shrugs….

      And to be fair to Alou, any Cubs team that makes the playoff has to suffer the unending tide of bullshit that seems to exist solely to ensure the Cubs keep failing.

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    57. mb21 57 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      I hadn’t read those quotes before, MO. Good stuff. So even when Alou cooled off, he was still fueling the anger. He finally admits he probably wouldn’t have caught it (which he probably wouldn’t have) and then backtracks.

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    58. 58 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ Berselius:

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    59. mb21 59 mb21 says:

      @ EnricoPallazzo:
      Look for high strikeout pitchers and pay no attention to whether they’re groundball pitchers or not. You’d also like a guy who hits a lot of batters, but doesn’t walk too many so good luck finding guys like that.

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    60. 60 Mercurial Outfielder says:
    61. 61 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      @ mb21:

      Is Juan Cruz still around? (dying laughing)

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    62. mb21 62 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      Not to mention that timing the ball is only one aspect of catching it. It would have been a hell of a catch and I’m not sure he could have caught it. Alou wasn’t a particularly gifted fielder at that point in his career.

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    63. mb21 63 mb21 says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:
      (dying laughing) what you need is a David Wells or Greg Maddux who gets off on hitting batters. That way they can keep their sparkling walk rates.

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    64. Berselius 64 Berselius says:

      @ Mercurial Outfielder:

      Fucking Juan Cruz (dying laughing). I hold an irrational grudge against him because the two games I saw in 2003 were started by Cruz and Shawn Fucking Estes, in a year where the Cubs pitching carried the team to the playoffs.

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    65. Aisle424 65 Aisle424 says:

      I do think Alou would have caught it. He was right there. It would have been phenomenal, but based on where he was positioned and the timing, I think he catches it if it wasn’t touched, but he was in the stands and every fan over there was doing what fans do. Bartman is the poor son of a bitch that happened to touch it.

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    66. EnricoPallazzo 66 EnricoPallazzo says:

      @ mb21:

      thanks mb, pretty much going for Ks, IPs, and SLG. ha and HBP i guess.

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    67. EnricoPallazzo 67 EnricoPallazzo says:

      axford or papelbon?

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    68. Rice Cube 68 Rice Cube says:

      @ Berselius:
      It was a hell of an earthquake (I was 10 when it happened). I remember it snapped the Bay Bridge (one section just collapsed in the middle of it) and a section of freeway was destroyed. We were something like 30-50 miles away from the epicenter and it still felt like the house was going to fall down.

      The A’s were up 2-0 before the earthquake so a Giants comeback would’ve been difficult.

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    69. SVB 69 SkipVB says:

      @ mb21:
      MB, I figured out the issue with the helper buttons, or whatever they are called, on my laptop. My NoScript add-in on Firefox was blocking gravatar, which I guess is the script that runs the comment links.

      The multiple repeated comments two threads ago were because the blackberry said the comment wasn’t accepted and to go back and fix it. I’d hit publish, then get the same msg. Had to get back to work and gave up, otherwise there might have been 30 repeats of the comment. I’m stubborn.

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    70. SVB 70 SkipVB says:

      Aisley. AMEN. Should just sub ESPN with Bartman on the bracket.

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    71. SVB 71 SkipVB says:

      In the link to the Cubs review on MLBTR, they list Koyie Hill as a “notable loss.”
      LMAO

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    72. Rice Cube 72 Rice Cube says:

      @ SkipVB:
      The team lost 50 WAR the day he was released.

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    73. 73 Mercurial Outfielder says:

      Bruce Levine hasn’t been paying attention:

      Third base will be better defensively with a more athletic player, Ian Stewart, replacing Aramis Ramirez. First base may be an adventure with Bryan LaHair trying to replace one of the better first baseman in Carlos Pena. The outfield should be OK, but not Gold-Glove caliber with a quicker Marlon Byrd and a solid David DeJesus to go with Alfonso Soriano’s below-average range and throwing.

      There are a lot of reasons to bash Soriano. His fucking throwing arm isn’t one of them. Bruce Levine, go eat a sack of frozen lizard dicks.

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    74. SVB 74 SkipVB says:

      Mercurial Outfielder wrote:

      go eat a sack of frozen lizard dicks.

      Dear Ask OV: How many lizard dicks in a sack?

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    75. josh 75 josh says:

      @ SkipVB:
      Clarification sought: Frozen or thawed?

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    76. SVB 76 SkipVB says:

      @ josh:
      I don’t know.

      Dear Ask OV: And do they come frozen, thawed, or some other way?

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    77. Berselius 77 Berselius says:

      Matt Bush was driving Brandon Guyer’s SUV in his hit and run. Guyer could also be charged if he knew Bush’s license was suspended.

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    78. GBTS 78 GBTS says:

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