The Cubs unveiled their new marketing slogan the other day and simultaneously churned Twitter into a furious snarky froth with "Committed." Frankly, I think "Committed" is right up there with "It's a Way of Life" as most mockable slogans the Cubs have come up with under the Ricketts. It took Twitter about 10 seconds to start making insanity references and the beat writers were in on it within 30 seconds. This was not the farthest anyone has ever had to reach to make a joke out of the Cubs.
The speed in which the slogan was turned on its ear made me wonder what the Cubs had considered and rejected if "Committed" is what they landed on and agreed was the best possible option on the table. Naturally, we unleashed OV's full espionage resources that are rivaled only by the most secretive of government agencies, which may or may not exist, and gathered information on the Cubs rejected ideas.
We now present the Cubs slogan ideas that were never intended for the public to see, and in many cases were simply jotted down on a cocktail napkin. Many Bothans died to bring us this information:
Top Ten Rejected 2013 Cubs Slogans
10. "Give Us Your Money"
9. "Cubs Baseball es Muy Valbuena!"
8. "What Are You Going to Do, Root for the Sox?"
7. "Jeff Samardzija Might Pitch in the Game You Attend, Wouldn't That be Neat?"
6. "Seriously, Give Us Your Money"
5. "Come for the Schierholtz, Stay for the Lillibridge"
4. "If a Piece of Concrete Falls On You, It's Yours to Keep!"
3. "How 'Bout Them Blackhawks?"
2. "We Accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Cash… There's Really no Reason Why You Haven't Given Us Your Money Yet"
1. "Bison Dogs and Troughs and Slightly Better Celebrity Singers, Oh My!"
aside: aside: http://www.obstructedview.net/news-and-rumors/jed-hoyer-during-sabr-gm-panel.html
They went with Committed? (dying laughing)
Why do they need a stupid slogan anyway? The Cubs shouldn’t have a slogan until it can be this: Defending World Champions.
Apparently my suggestion of “wallowing in our own crapulence” didn’t make the cut.
(dying laughing)
11. “How Much Ass Could This Cubs Team Suck if This Cubs Team Could Suck Ass”
(dying laughing)
This is better
aside: http://www.obstructedview.net/news-and-rumors/things-dale-sveum-says.html
@ dmick89:
I like how you attached the image files. It makes it easy for us to download them so we can use them at home.
@ Suburban kid:
(dying laughing) I just used the attach thingy and that’s how it works.
“Committed” came two years too late.
(dying laughing)
I just saw that Quade is in the Cuckoo’s Nest pic. And Lloyd Braun.
Holy hell I thought the “committed” thing was a joke. How the fuck was that even an option? (dying laughing)
Peasants! Arst thou #COMMITTED?
http://tangotiger.com/index.php/site/comments/players-speak-on-sabermetrics
@ Lukas:
My back has been killing me for about 2 weeks and I finally just got back to the computer yesterday. I also thought it was a joke until I visited cubs.com today. (dying laughing)
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Where the hell have you been hiding?
@ dmick89:
I got shot in the face by Dick Cheney.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Did it hurt? It sounds real painful.
@ dmick89:
I bought some medicinal marijuana to aid in my recovery and Berselius found out and suspended me from the blog.
http://sabr.org/latest/2013-sabr-analytics-conference-highlights-bill-james
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
I didn’t know we were banning people for that. Mish is in for some trouble.
@ dmick89:
In all seriousness, I’m in major crunch time with school. Trying to be ABD by end of fall 2013.
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2013/03/cubs-told-carlos-marmols-agent-to-expect-trade.html
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Maybe bubbles can help out.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
Just in time to watch the Cubs in October.
@ Mercurial Outfielder:
#committed
Good luck, sir.
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
(dying laughing)
Nate TVG is now my favorite Cubs player of all time. Skillz!!!
Joe Mather is the Joe Mather of getting a roster spot. Released by Phils.
Fairly sure I have two of the final four in the OV contest.
That’s pretty crap they don’t include WBC games in the MLB.TV package.
Baez is pretty good.
Looks like Canada is motivated to not be a total loser: 4-1 over Mexico in the second inning.
The Cubs gotta pay the Video Guy to take a dive, right?
Welcome back MO. Good luck on the coursework!
@ Suburban kid:
Canada just declared war on Mexico.
@ Rice Cube:
Which is good for
Canada Sr.,USA, because if they lost, we would have been in deep shit with regard to advancing to the next round.Yikes!
http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=25699601&topic_id=31426364
Rizzo > all
Ryan Dempster and Shane Victorino are playing for the RedSox this year. That’s just bananas to me.
My slogan was “enjoy the runs!”
Fuck daylight savings. Is it really even necessary even more?
@ WaLi:
According to the farmers I’ve talked with in Iowa, yes.
@ dmick89:
So they wouldn’t be able to wake up with the sun if the time didn’t tell them to?
@ Rice Cube:
@ WaLi:
They enjoy the extra hour of sunlight at the end of the day. Seem to recall it was established to conserve energy (lighting), but air conditioners defeat that purpose. I’m sure stores love it. I like it that it’s light out past 9 in the summers, but it’s really something i don’t care a whole lot about. Except for one or two Indian reservations, Arizona doesn’t follow DST and when I lived there I didn’t notice any difference between using it and not using it. I guess it was probably nice that the sun went down a little earlier, but it wasn’t a big deal. To be honest, about the only time I even noticed the difference was when the Cubs played at 12 pm on a Saturday or Sunday. It was 10 am there. That was weird. It was just as weird when they started at 10 am when I lived in Portland.
Is there a specific reason why you don’t like it? I’ve never thought much about it.
@ dmick89:
I don’t really hate it, just don’t see the point of it anymore. I just disliked it this morning because I woke up and it was 9 AM. I hate sleeping in!
@ WaLi:
I woke up at 6:20 and was pissed off I slept so late. I never ever sleep past 6. I’m up no later than 5:30.
@ dmick89:
Really? From what I remember the whole “daylight saving is for famers” was a myth, and most farmers oppose it. IIRC the unspoken reason was that people shop more after work if there is more light.
I also thought it was for safety. There are fewer car accidents during day light, for example.
Nate. The. Video. Guy.
LEGEND.
@ Suburban kid:
Yes, it’s been explained to me that Daylight Savings is universally superior, mostly because of energy efficiency (daylight corresponding to people’s waking hours), and we’d be better off using it year round.
Personally, I love it.
@ Rice Cube:
Did he win?
GBTS will be raging.
@ Suburban kid:
DeJesus won.
Duke vs. Butler intensity.
Apparently Big Z had one of his on-the-mound meltdowns yesterday for old times sake. I’m sure the scouts were impressed!
@ Berselius37:
I’m not talking with a large sample of farmers or anything, but yes, they’ve been in favor of it. I’m sure it depends on the type of farming. I’m sure retail is a factor, but it’s not the reason they started doing it. Neither is farming. I like it and as long as I’m happy, that’s all that matters. (dying laughing)
Canada regains the lead 3-2 over USA in the bottom of the 6th.
Wikipedia:
Buts let’s go back to this!! It fits the tropical schedule that I’m forced to live with pretty well.
I haven’t thought a whole lot about DST, but what are the arguments against it? Is the whole biological clock problems really that big of a deal? If so, move the change to Saturday, which it should be anyway. I don’t know, I’ve never noticed a problem with that. I slept an “extra” hour today, but I’ll fall asleep at the same time as usual tonight.
It would be funny if the US was bounced in the 1st round. They either need to send their best players or withdraw from the event.
New Shitling (Aside)
@ dmick89:
They have a pretty good roster already as it is. It goes to show that short competitions are a different animal.
Bunt fail. Just gave up one of their last six outs for nothing.
@ Suburban kid:
(dying laughing) didn’t matter
Adam Jones two run double. Cubs win?
Not sure why Jones didn’t bunt there
@ Berselius:
Bunt double, man.
Maddog with a visit to the mound, wearing a hoodie (dying laughing)
Bases juiced. Canucks best chance.
What he say?
@ Suburban kid:
“Bullshit” on a live mic (dying laughing)
Cubs win.
@ Suburban kid:
And therefore, America wins.
I’ve really liked Phil’s articles on bicycle helmets. Here’s the 4th part: http://blog.philbirnbaum.com/2013/02/bicycle-helmets-iv.html
http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20130310&content_id=42554312¬ebook_id=42561778&vkey=notebook_chc&c_id=chc
(dying laughing)
@ dmick89:
Yeah, loved that one. It reminded me of the Austin City Council, who, in their infinite wisdom, has banned grocery bags.
@ GW:
To be fair, grocery bags are pretty dumb. Bring your own sack. Hell, maybe people wouldn’t be so fat if they couldn’t carry an infinite amount of shit back to their car.
@ GBTS:
Couldn’t disagree more. It’s fine for people who go make frequent trips to the store and buy small quantities of food (ie the yuppies on the city council), but it basically enforces that preference on everyone else. I would hate to shop for a family of five, planning to cart around 20 bulky cloth bags whenever I decide to buy groceries. Increasing the inconvenience of going to the store is only going to drive more people to the drive through window.
Not to mention it has to be a nightmare in terms of carbon footprint, which is ostensibly the reason for the ban. Thousands of people will end up making more frequent trips to the store or driving a few miles extra to go out of the city limits and all of the sudden that mL of oil used to make each plastic bag is going to look like a drop in the bucket. People like me will end up buying plastic bags that are of higher quality than I need rather than reusing grocery bags for things like cleaning up after my pets and small trash bags. Either they didn’t think it through, or they are just signalling that Austin made up people of a certain mindset (as was aptly described by Phil in his piece). I suspect the latter, but the former can’t be ruled out.
@ GW:
I forget where I was, maybe Canada or France, but they made you pay like a nickel if you didn’t have your own bags. Seemed like a fair trade off to me. My local grocery store takes a nickel off for each bag you bring in yourself.
GW wrote:
It’s not that hard. First, you need about six or seven bags not 20. (You can get much larger bags than the typical disposable bag). Second, they all fold up flat and can be stored in one bag. There is absolutely no bulk involved.
The only hassle is the impromptu stop at the store when you don’t have a bag. (Unless you’re smart enough to keep one or two in your trunk). But you know what? I don’t mind carry 10 items out of the store shoved in my arms, pockets, etc. because my car is right outside. If I have 20 items, I can put them in the cart and wheel them to the car. I only ask for disposable grocery bags (which you have to pay for where I live) if I’m doing a full weekly shop and I forget to bring the bags from home.
@ WaLi:
They cost more like 30 cents where I live (Ireland). It’s a tax on plastic bags brought in around 10 years ago as an anti-litter measure. They didn’t use paper grocery bags here at all, so plastic was rampant and there was definitely a problem with the fucking things being everywhere, stuck in trees, blocking drains, blowing down the street like tumbleweeds. A year or so after the measure was put in place, everyone had adjusted to bringing their own bags or going without, and the place looked a little cleaner too.
I deliberately go to stores that either allow you to bag your own groceries or that don’t care if you steal tons of bags at a time. I also only go shopping once every two weeks to save fuel and time. The amount of bags I snag each time is enough for the entire two week doggy poop period and to clean up the kitty litter, line trash cans etc. It’s pretty economical if you actually plan ahead (dying laughing)
@ Suburban kid:
This pretty much describes my grocery shopping habits exactly (dying laughing)
It looks like you had fun on your travels away from OV, MO.
It’s $1 per bag in Austin, and it applies to paper bags too. I like the spirit of the law and usually bring my own bags, but I rely on getting paper bags every 2 or 3 trips for reuse around my house so I’m a little annoyed.
Some grocery stores were giving out free re-usable bags for the week or two prior to the ban, at least. Even better, that was true of the ghetto HEB near my house and not the ritzy one up near the Rich People Mall.
My concern for reusable bags is one of health. Those bags are ridiculously dirty and I would guess that few people do anything about it. I also like to get plastic bags on occasion for various offs and ends.
It would be cool if they had a way to do something similar to bottle deposits to get people to recycle plastic bags instead.
@ Berselius:
Meijer around these parts has a bag recycling program but they don’t pay you for it as far as I can tell. So I don’t know why anyone would have incentive unless they’re the Lorax.
Probably unsurprising, but I oppose any kind of legal bans on grocery bags and the like, though I rarely ever take them unnecessarily. I usually take my backpack to the grocery store, and since I only usually buy a few things, it’s usually no problem. I also do my bulk shopping at Costco, which doesn’t give away plastic bags.
FWIW, I also am a hoarder of plastic bags and constantly re-use them so they aren’t wasted. I use them to line the insides of my bathroom trash cans so I don’t go through as many actual garbage bags, and I use the bags to transport dirty clothes on trips and what not.
I try to fully embrace all three “Rs” of environmentalism (dying laughing)
Mish wrote:
Fuck fuck fuck, not in mid-season form this morning. (dying laughing)
@ Mish:
As usual.
@ dmick89:
Great article, got me thinking about it a bit. I posted my response there.
@ Mish:
Plus that fucking daylight savings time is making you wake up an hour earlier than you would normally (dying laughing)
Holy shit, I won something thanks to The Jesus? Does The Book come autographed by Kim DeJesus?
mikeakaleroy or elroy whatever. wrote:
I have always pronounced it as Mackel-roy so maybe you should just go ahead make the change permanent.
@ Suburban kid:
Alright, then.
GW wrote:
For some reason I thought plastic bags no longer used oil. Am I full of shit for thinking that?
I agree with what you’re saying. I live in Kansas so no such bans exist or are like to, but I would not like them. I use the plastic bags for various things that others have already mentioned. I’m kind of like Berselius in that most of the time we use our own bags, but every 2nd or 3rd trip to the store we get the plastic bags.
Seems the best way to solve this issue is to create a way to more easily recycle these bags, which I would be happy to do, but I actually use most of those bags.
I’m going to stick with my original “plastic shopping bags are stupid” stance.
new crap: http://www.obstructedview.net/news-and-rumors/random-crap.html
@ GBTS:
Free plastic poop bags > paying for small doggy poop bags that aren’t as convenient
/pet owner’d
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