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He asked the doctor for a Cub-ectomy, but came out minus an appendix instead.  

Also, FIP is NOT the same as fap, apparently.  

Abandon Hope, ye who feel Joe Mather will save this team.  

I’ve been the worst fan lately.  

The trade deadline was nuts and exciting this year. Here’s hoping the ghost of a not-quite-dead baseball player didn’t screw it up for you.