The Cubs are not just a bad baseball team. They’re bad television. I don’t think it necessary to prove this assertion with impartial evidence. If you’ve seen the Cubs do their jobs, all the anecdotal evidence you need is oozing from behind your eyeballs. The smart choice is obvious: look away. But if you’re committed to bad decisions, allow me to provide you with the necessary motive. Here are ten reasons to keep watching the Cubs in 2011 (and yes, there are ten . . . but just ten).
10. Starlin Castro – This is really the number 1 reason, but it’s also the most obvious. Kid’s fun to watch. He’s also pretty frustrating to watch, but it’s not like you’ll be able to pin your viewing frustrations on Starlin Castro alone, unless your name’s Mike Quade, in which case watching is part of your job description (don’t worry, Mike, that will change soon enough).
9. The Quest for 100 – Losing 100 is special. Should the Cubs maintain their current winning percentage, and I’m not without confidence in their ability to do so, they’ll lose 96 or 97. Dare we dream that the Cubs could outperform their current breakneck pace of futility? What can I say, I’m a dreamer.
8. The Return of Andrew Cashner – The kid threw off a mound on Saturday and has thrown all three of his pitches. The rehab will be slow, but eventually he might pitch again. That would be cool to watch.
7. Carlos Zambrano – He’s Carlos F. Zambrano (the F stands for Fun to Watch).
6. Mike Quade’s Spiral Into Insanity – Mike Quade says he’s not a lunatic. That’s the Lunatic Pledge. The rest of the season should play out like an overblown production of “The Tell-Tale Heart.”
5. Brett Jackson – Or any prospect who might get called up. It really doesn’t matter. Someone new who might have a chance of disappointing us in the future but whose mere presence would be good enough for now. I’d watch that.
4. Stay Informed About Why We Hate Paul Sullivan – At some point, the sights of the Bag End Assassin will be aimed at someone other than Carlos Zambrano, and at that point, you’re going to want to know the player’s name.
3. Watch Bob Eat Stuff – Bob Brenly and Len Kasper have been sampling the food at the ballparks the Cubs visit. I’ve seen this a couple of times, and I’ve been meaning to catch more of these riveting portraits of Americana. It’s kind of like Wild Kingdom.
2. Tony Campana – He is really fast. It’s fascinating to see a Cubs player who can run fast, even if most of the time his at-bats just result in him ambling quickly toward the dugout. Still, fast Cubs are rare.
1. The Epic Battle of I’m Not a Left Fielder Not Yet a First Baseman between Adam Dunn and Tyler Colvin – Adam Dunn is at -1.6 WAR. Tyler Colvin’s languishing at -1.1 WAR. I can’t look away. I don’t understand how anybody can.
Comments
Starlin’s about it for me. Man this team sucks.
JenniferQuote Reply
These days Z’s hitting is more fun to watch than his hitting. Garza is also fun to watch, and I still enjoy watching Dempster, though he’s been knocked around too much this year. I really enjoy Marshall and Marmol, though the latter was more fun last year.
ACTQuote Reply
Awesome post. But I don’t get how you can say it’s unusual for a Cub to have speed?
“We’ve got the power,
we’ve got the speed,
to be the best in the National League.”
It’s right there in the song. Cubs have speed.
binkyQuote Reply
[quote name=josh]Awesome post. But I don’t get how you can say it’s unusual for a Cub to have speed?
“We’ve got the power,
we’ve got the speed,
to be the best in the National League.”
It’s right there in the song. Cubs have speed.[/quote]You’re right. (dying laughing)
What can I say? The Cubs are gonna win today.
AndCountingQuote Reply
Dont know if this was posted last night
from Jim Callis
bubblesdachimpQuote Reply
[quote name=Rice Cube]I think Ryno said that as long as the Cubs make sure they stay in the top 5 in next year’s draft it’ll be okay.[/quote]
Amusing. Wrong. Correct.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
Adam Dunn has been real fucking bad
bubblesdachimpQuote Reply
[quote name=bubblesdachimp]Adam Dunn has been real fucking bad[/quote]Adam Dunn’s 2011 wOBA: .276
Carlos Zambrano’s career wOBA: .276
AndCountingQuote Reply
MishQuote Reply
MishQuote Reply
Does it make me a bad Cubs fan if I’m rooting more for the Pirates to win the division than I am the Cubs to avoid losing 100?
Matt HardeeQuote Reply
[quote name=Matt Hardee]Does it make me a bad Cubs fan if I’m rooting more for the Pirates to win the division than I am the Cubs to avoid losing 100?[/quote]I don’t think the Pirates have it in them. I see them losing 3/4 against the Cubs and going into a tailspin. I could be wrong.
binkyQuote Reply
I think the Pirates finish closer to the Cubs to the Cubs than they do the Reds.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Matt Hardee]Does it make me a bad Cubs fan if I’m rooting more for the Pirates to win the division than I am the Cubs to avoid losing 100?[/quote]
No. It makes you a faget.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
aggy QB Ryan Tannehill is getting a lot of play as a first round-caliber NFL QB. This time last year he was a mediocre WR prepping for med school. aggy coaches make me (dying laughing).
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
http://i.imgur.com/AabN3.jpg
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
BtB has a hitter volatility calculator now: http://www.beyondtheboxscore.com/2011/8/2/2309646/now-available-hitter-volatility-calculator
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Mish]BtB has a hitter volatility calculator now: http://www.beyondtheboxscore.com/2011/8/2/2309646/now-available-hitter-volatility-calculator%5B/quote%5DI skimmed the article quickly, but what’s the point of calculating volatility if you don’t include past seasons? If player A has a .375 wOBA and a career .290 wOBA while player B has a .375 wOBA and a career .365 wOBA, I know which one is more volatile.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]I skimmed the article quickly, but what’s the point of calculating volatility if you don’t include past seasons? If player A has a .375 wOBA and a career .290 wOBA while player B has a .375 wOBA and a career .365 wOBA, I know which one is more volatile.[/quote]
Do they measure volatility in Walter Whites?
BerseliusQuote Reply
deja vu is a glitch in the matrix. It means they changed something.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
Why are you such a faget cunt, Alvin?
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
WenningtonsGorillaCockQuote Reply
If so, he’s 100% wrong. Will it make a difference in his job status if the Cubs lose 95 games instead of 100?
by Al Yellon on Aug 2, 2011 9:29 AM CDT upreply [/quote]
Only if CHC has a good second-half road record.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
BCB is a cesspool of ignorant twits.
ZappBranniganQuote Reply
[quote name=ZappBrannigan]BCB is a cesspool of ignorant twits.[/quote]
Water is wet.
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]Water is wet.[/quote]
Touche.
ZappBranniganQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]Water is wet.[/quote]
Women have secrets.
Joe HallenbeckQuote Reply
Ain’t life a bitch?
Billy ColeQuote Reply
Any web design nerds want to quote me for a simple site?
Email me and I will respond more professionally.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
[quote name=Suburban kid]Any web design nerds want to quote me for a simple site?
Email me and I will respond more professionally.[/quote]What type of site, SK?
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]What type of site, SK?[/quote]I’m going with porn.
WaLiQuote Reply
[quote name=Suburban kid]Any web design nerds want to quote me for a simple site?
Email me and I will respond more professionally.[/quote]
I’ll do it for $1 million.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
mb,
Any idea why when I view the site normally I can’t see the avatars but when I view it in compatibility mode I can?
This may have to do with my firewall at work.. or not.
I am using IE8
WaLiQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]What type of site, SK?[/quote]It’s for a small local business.
Suburban kidQuote Reply
MLBTR on arbitration raises:
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2011/08/when-the-406080-arbitration-rule-doesnt-work.html
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=Suburban kid]It’s for a small local business.[/quote]I think Ryno is trying to get into web design and he said he’d do it for $1 million. (dying laughing)
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Suburban kid]It’s for a small local business.[/quote]I’m still going with porn.
WaLiQuote Reply
[quote name=WaLi]I’m still going with porn.[/quote]
Fits the description of “small local business” (dying laughing)
Rice CubeQuote Reply
[quote name=mb21]I think Ryno is trying to get into web design and he said he’d do it for $1 million. (dying laughing)[/quote]
I’d be willing to offer a small discount since it’s for an OV member.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
SK, you should be able to pay Ryno out of the money due to Carlos Silva.
MishQuote Reply
[quote name=Rice Cube]MLBTR on arbitration raises:
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2011/08/when-the-406080-arbitration-rule-doesnt-work.html%5B/quote%5DI don’t know why it’s a big deal that there are big discrepancies between arbitration awards and the 40/60/80 rule. The same is true when using projected WAR to estimate a free agent contract.
I always start with the 40/60/80 rule and then adjust based on my thoughts of the player’s value in relation to similar players. It’s not scientific, but I probably get closer on an individual than the 40/60/80 rule does. Take Geovany Soto for example. He’ll be projected to be worth about 3.5 wins next year. He’s 2nd year eligible. A free agent projected to be worth 3.5 wins would be worth about $17.5 million or so. The rule of thumb means that Soto would get about $9-10 million. There’s no chance he’s going to get that much money. He’s having a shitty season and even if he wasn’t, he probably doesn’t hit enough home runs, drive in enough runs and so on and so forth to be worth the amount the rule suggests he would.
On the other hand, you have Koyie HIll. The rule would suggest he paid $0, but that’s ridiculous.
So I agree with the article, but I didn’t know that anyone thought the 40/60/80 rule was anything more than a guideline.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=Dr. Aneus Taint]I’d be willing to offer a small discount since it’s for an OV member.[/quote]$850K? Seriously though, if you’re interested I can send you SK’s email. Let me know.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]$850K? Seriously though, if you’re interested I can send you SK’s email. Let me know.[/quote]
I said a small discount.
Go ahead and send me his info.
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
Busch Stadium is complete shit:
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/08/02/metal-trim-falls-from-busch-stadium/
Rice CubeQuote Reply
Well, there may not be a Breaking Bad season 5. AMC wants to cut the episodes to 6 or 8 and Gilligan won’t’ do it.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Well, there may not be a Breaking Bad season 5. AMC wants to cut the episodes to 6 or 8 and Gilligan won’t’ do it.[/quote]
Yeah, who doesn’t want to see less of the best show on TV? What network wouldn’t cut its highest rated show down a few episodes?
Dr. Aneus TaintQuote Reply
Aisle424Quote Reply
Ryno (and SK), I sent you both an email so you can discuss it if you want.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Ryno (and SK), I sent you both an email so you can discuss it if you want.[/quote]Over dinner?
Suburban kidQuote Reply
[quote name=Dr. Aneus Taint]Yeah, who doesn’t want to see less of the best show on TV? What network wouldn’t cut its highest rated show down a few episodes?[/quote]Apparently they’re now shopping the show to other networks, but it’s hard for me to believe any would pick it up for just one season. The 5th is the final season so I think Gilligan is fucked. It’s either a 6 episode final season or this season is the final one.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Well, there may not be a Breaking Bad season 5. AMC wants to cut the episodes to 6 or 8 and Gilligan won’t’ do it.[/quote][quote name=Dr. Aneus Taint]Yeah, who doesn’t want to see less of the best show on TV? What network wouldn’t cut its highest rated show down a few episodes?[/quote]
AMC decided to give more airtime to its best show, The Killing. We’re just like The Sopranos!
Veena SudQuote Reply
[quote name=Aisle424]
[/quote]I wish we’d thought of that for a photoshop contest.
mb21Quote Reply
Yeah, it’s a fucking joke that The Killing would get 13 episodes next year, but they want half as many of Breaking Bad? Cut The Killing and use that money for BB. What the fuck?
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]Yeah, it’s a fucking joke that The Killing would get 13 episodes next year, but they want half as many of Breaking Bad? Cut The Killing and use that money for BB. What the fuck?[/quote]
Seriously. Are they complaining about BB’s ratings? The pile of Emmys that BB and Mad Men are sitting on is what’s allowing them to even make shows like The Killing.
Who knows what’s up at AMC. Apprently they rejected all of the pilots that they had in development for this year too, and they fired the showrunner of The Walking Dead just days after he was promoting the second season at Comicon.
BerseliusQuote Reply
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/entertainmentnewsbuzz/2011/08/breaking-bad-amc-sony.html
BerseliusQuote Reply
Maybe it’s all Mad Men’s fault.
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]Maybe it’s all
Mad Men’sMarlon Byrd’s fault for taking the money saved in the Carlos Silva deal.[/quote]/Hobbit’d
melissaQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]Seriously. Are they complaining about BB’s ratings? The pile of Emmys that BB and Mad Men are sitting on is what’s allowing them to even make shows like The Killing.
Who knows what’s up at AMC. Apprently they rejected all of the pilots that they had in development for this year too, and they fired the showrunner of The Walking Dead just days after he was promoting the second season at Comicon.[/quote]
From what I’ve read it has nothing to do with ratings and everything to do with money. BB is not a cheap show to make, but you’re only going to make the show worse and less profitable if you cut the season down to 6 or 8 episodes. Gilligan will take that show elsewhere. Some network will talk him into 2 additional seasons.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]From what I’ve read it has nothing to do with ratings and everything to do with money. BB is not a cheap show to make, but you’re only going to make the show worse and less profitable if you cut the season down to 6 or 8 episodes. Gilligan will take that show elsewhere. Some network will talk him into 2 additional seasons.[/quote]
Normally I’d say more of a great show would be nice, but I feel like the trajectory of the show is really such that it should be wrapped up in 5 seasons. Of course, given how great the show has been I would have plenty of trust in the writers to make it work for more (dying laughing).
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]Normally I’d say more of a great show would be nice, but I feel like the trajectory of the show is really such that it should be wrapped up in 5 seasons. Of course, given how great the show has been I would have plenty of trust in the writers to make it work for more (dying laughing).[/quote]The plan initially was for 3 seasons so Gilligan has already extended it. He’s not going to find a network that picks it up for just one season so it’s either a 6-8 episode final season or he agrees to do two more on another network. Even 2 more may not be enough.
What I don’t want is Gilligan being forced to wrap it up too quickly. I’d rather the show have a really good 5th season and a lesser 6th or maybe 7th season than wrap the show up 5 episodes too soon. The Wire season 5 was cut by 2 episodes and you can tell how hurried that season is compared to previous seasons.
mb21Quote Reply
I suppose he could agree to two abbreviated seasons and call it season 5A and season 5B kind of like The Sopranos did. Not sure it would be as exciting to watch 6-8 episode seasons, but it’s better than wrapping the series up in that number.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]The plan initially was for 3 seasons so Gilligan has already extended it. He’s not going to find a network that picks it up for just one season so it’s either a 6-8 episode final season or he agrees to do two more on another network. Even 2 more may not be enough.
What I don’t want is Gilligan being forced to wrap it up too quickly. I’d rather the show have a really good 5th season and a lesser 6th or maybe 7th season than wrap the show up 5 episodes too soon. The Wire season 5 was cut by 2 episodes and you can tell how hurried that season is compared to previous seasons.[/quote]
No kidding. Though FWIW The Wire had a lot more storylines to wrap up than BB does.
How great of a Fuck You would it be if HBO picks it up (dying laughing)
BerseliusQuote Reply
[quote name=Berselius]No kidding. Though FWIW The Wire had a lot more storylines to wrap up than BB does.
How great of a Fuck You would it be if HBO picks it up (dying laughing)[/quote]I figure it’s HBO or Showtime. I can’t imagine a network like FX, USA or TNT running it. No chance it’s run on one of the major networks. DirecTV could pick it up like they’ve done with Friday Night Lights and Damages. That’s a distinct possibility.
mb21Quote Reply
I’d say it’s likely picked up by DirecTV. They’d probably allow Gilligan to do just one season.
mb21Quote Reply
[quote name=mb21]I figure it’s HBO or Showtime. I can’t imagine a network like FX, USA or TNT running it. No chance it’s run on one of the major networks. DirecTV could pick it up like they’ve done with Friday Night Lights and Damages. That’s a distinct possibility.[/quote]
HBO certainly has the bankroll to do it. But I’m kind of surprised that BB would be such an expensive show to run. It has an even smaller cast than Mad Men, no special effects to deal with, they already have all the sets, and ABQ has to be an incredibly cheap place to film (relatively speaking).
BerseliusQuote Reply
new shit: http://obstructedview.net/chicago-cubs/articles/checking-up-on-the-cubs-top-prospects-part-1.html
mb21Quote Reply